7/7/19-Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents: Sunday Night Wrestling

Last Week at the American Heartland Pay Per View:
-‘The Shadow Warrior’ Shizuko Yamazaki defeated Ninja Kitty with the Cranial Contusion
-MVW HEARTLAND TITLE MATCH-Jack Frasier © defeated Ultratron-5.1 via count-out
–Backman Taylor Powerdrive: Charlene Backman and Brianna Taylor defeated The Hanson Sisters: Andrea, Charissa, and Melissa and The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey- Taylor pinned Andrea Hanson after hitting the Sledgehammer.
-MVW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM TITLE MATCHMissouri Valley Fight Club: Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott © defeated Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey- McDermott submitted Casey with the Indian Death Lock
-The Kings of Old School: Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane defeated Rah and William Daniels Bryan- Gibson-Lane pinned Rah after hitting the King’s Old School Landing
-‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan defeated ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas- Carrigan pinned Harlot after hitting the Canadian Destroyer
-‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson (SEC) defeated ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay with the Powerbomb.
-MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH-Corporate World Inc.: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks © defeated The Sports Entertainment Coalition: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams- Banks pinned Williams after hitting the Bank Statement Overdraft.
-MVW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH- Lisa Barbosa-Stevens defeated Christa Carmondy © with the Toxic Sting to become the new Women’s champion.
-MVW TITLE MATCH-Charlie Blackwell © defeated ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism with the Katahajime.



Missouri Valley Wrestling
Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday July 7th, 2019
Taped at MVW Television Studios
St. Louis, Missouri

Announcers: Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall
Backstage Interviewer: Kirsten Canfield


Thunderbolt Smith and Rick Hall start the show behind the official MVW broadcast desk at ringside.

Thunderbolt Smith: Good evening everyone. Welcome to Sunday Night Wrestling. Thunderbolt Smith with you here for a big night of wrestling action. Also here, as always is ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.

Rick Hall: Hey everyone.

Thunderbolt Smith: We have a big show for you tonight.

Rick Hall: Well Thunderbolt, we will hear from the new Women’s Champion- Lisa Barbosa-Stevens. The Southern Boys will be here. That’s ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller, and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams.

Thunderbolt Smith: Which means the SEC is kaput.

Rick Hall: Probably. However, I’ve been told ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann will be here tonight.  We’ll also have ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin will be in action later on in the show and our main event tonight will be ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, coming off a big victory at American Heartland last week, taking on Average Joe.

Thunderbolt Smith: As Rick just mentioned, last week at the American Heartland Pay Per View show, we crowned a new Women’s Champion.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, Christa Carmondy came into the match knowing she had to win the match or draw to keep her title. There would be no outside interference to prevent Lisa Barbosa-Stevens from winning the match so she came out fighting.

(REPLAY: Christa Carmondy © vs. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens at the American Heartland PPV)

Carmondy charges right away and clotheslines Barbosa-Stevens over the top rope.

Johnny Suave: WHOA!

Rick Hall: That’s a statement of intent.

The momentum of Carmondy sends her over as well and the two hard to the outside. The crowd is already buzzing.

Johnny Suave: That completely caught Barbosa-Stevens by surprise.

Rick Hall: Christa’s been so cautious in the prior two matches. She’s definitely changing it up because she knows she has no other choice.

Both women start to get to their feet. Carmondy is up first, and she delivers a wicked kick to the head and it sends Barbosa-Stevens back to the floor.

Thunderbolt Smith: Barbosa-Stevens took control of the match though about midway though and then hit this move.

(REPLAY: Christa Carmondy © vs. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens at the American Heartland PPV)

Carmondy rolls out of the ring and tries to regain her bearings…Carmondy drops to a knee and looks up at Barbosa-Stevens who’s impatiently pacing back and forth in the ring awaiting her return.

Johnny Suave: We’re only six plus minutes into this and Christa already looks like she’s been through a war- HOLY CRAP!

Barbosa-Stevens’s patience runs out. She takes off and dives over the top rope and nails Carmondy with a suicide dive causing both to tumble and hit the ring barrier.

The crowd immediately starts a HOLY SHIT chant. Both women are sprawled out on the floor against the barrier.


Rick Hall: They both hit that steel barrier hard.

Rick Hall: Both women were stunned. Referee Ron Martin started a ten count and it looked like Carmondy may survive with a double count-out. But Barbosa-Stevens somehow made it back to the ring and so did Carmondy. But Christa was in big trouble and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens went for the kill.

(REPLAY: Christa Carmondy © vs. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens at the American Heartland PPV)

Christa desperately tries to climb up to her feet.

Barbosa-Stevens hiptosses Carmondy to the center of the ring. She then walks over the Women’s champion and pulls her back up. Boot to the gut. Carmondy bends over. Barbosa-Stevens turns and drops.

Johnny Suave: TOXIC STING!

Rick Hall: COVER!





Johnny Suave: NEW CHAMPION!

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s how Lisa Barbosa-Stevens became your new Women’s champion. And she is in the ring right now.

Cut to the ring:

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, Women’s title belt slung over her shoulder, stands in the ring along with Ted Tebow and the Stevens Dynasty (George and Bo Stevens).

Tebow has the microphone and will talk first.

Ted Tebow: ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. CSPN CEO Mark Splitter. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens made you both look like complete fools last week. You said Lisa wasn’t an elite wrestler. You called Lisa an inferior wrestler. Well?

Tebow points to the belt.

Ted Tebow: Who’s got the gold now?

Bo Stevens takes the microphone from Tebow.

Bo Stevens: It all came down to BO-lief.

Tebow drops to one knee and bows his head while placing his balled left fist against his forehead (aka…‘Tebowing’) when Bo says BO-lief.

Bo Stevens: Lisa had BO-lief.

Tebow ‘tebows’ again.

Bo Stevens: And that was the difference.

He hands the microphone to the new women’s champion who gets a warm round of applause.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Thank you. I want to say this to Christa Carmondy. You went down like a true champion should. You didn’t hide. You didn’t run. You brought the battle to me. And I appreciate and respect you for doing that.

The crowd applauds.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Now, I see new challenges on the horizon. I see Sheline Carrigan. I see Lani Harlot. I see the return of Tessa Martin. And I see the arrival of a new wrestler from overseas- Shizuko Yamazaki. So, let me make this clear. I will be a fighting champion. And I await who will emerge as my next challenge.

Barbosa-Stevens raises the Women’s title belt in the air.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, I think Bo Stevens called it right. Lisa had BO-lief.

In the ring, Ted Tebow randomly ‘Tebows.’

Thunderbolt Smith: And that drove her to the win. Rick, did he Tebow?

Rick Hall: Yes.

Thunderbolt Smith: Good. Okay. Carmondy-Stevens looked like the match of the night.

Rick Hall: I think the Women’s Tag Team match was the match of the night.

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh. The Missouri Valley Fight Club versus Angels of Death.

Rick Hall: Right. That one was everything I’d hoped it’d be.

Thunderbolt Smith: Charlie Blackwell retained the MVW Title with a strong effort against ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism.

(REPLAY: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Stone Chism at the American Heartland PPV)

Blackwell rolls off to the side. Chism tries to collect his breath. Then he grabs the ropes to pull himself up. Chism waits for Blackwell to get up. Just as Blackwell gets back to his feet, Chism leaps to the top rope and springboards off for a clothesline!

Blackwell sees him coming and leaps in the air.


Rick Hall: Every time.

Chism tumbles to the mat and doubles over in pain. Blackwell doesn’t waste time sliding down behind him and slapping on a half nelson. Forearm across Chism’s throat. Blackwell wraps his legs around Chism’s torso and leans back.

Johnny Suave: KATAHAJIME!

Rick Hall: Charlie got a little careless at one point in the match but otherwise really wasn’t in too much danger.

Thunderbolt Smith: And Corporate World, Inc. retained the tag team belts over the Sports Entertainment Coalition’s ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams when outside interference from ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson horribly backfired.

(REPLAY: Corporate World, Inc. © vs. The Sports Entertainment Coalition)

Guyko is screaming at Keels from the other side.

Williams pokes Banks’s eyes and shoves Banks to the ropes. Dickinson up to the ring apron.

Dickinson swings at Banks as Banks suddenly reverses and flings Williams into the ropes just as Dickinson’s right hand arrives.

Johnny Suave: HE GOT WILLIAMS!

Rick Hall: Dickinson can’t believe what happened. McMann can’t believe what just happened.

Dickinson stands there with his mouth wide open. Walstreit races across the ring and dropkicks Dickinson off the ring apron. Walstreit then pops Miller in the mouth with a right hand. He slides through the ropes, grabs Miller, and jumps.


Rick Hall: That takes out ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller.

Banks on the top turnbuckle. He leaps forward and swings around Williams, falls backwards, and drops Williams’s head into the mat.


Rick Hall: And that should take care of ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams.

McMann’s on the ring apron. Hands at his cheeks. Stunned at the turn of events.

Banks hooks the legs. Keels for the count.




Rick Hall: That started the end for the SEC. Obviously after Lisa Barbosa-Stevens defeated Christa Carmondy, the SEC would completely fall apart.

Thunderbolt Smith: We’ll get to that later on tonight. We’ve got wrestling action coming up for you right after these messages.




July 19th – Louisville Gardens / Louisville, KY
July 20th – Roberts Stadium / Evansville, IN
July 21st – Carson Center / Paducah, KY
July 27th – Rushmore Plaza Civic Center / Rapid City, South Dakota
August 3rd – MVWA 92 Redbird Arena / Peoria, IL
August 16th– Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL
August 17th – Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN
August 18th – Martinsville High School Gym / Martinsville, IN


Cut back to the broadcast desk:

Thunderbolt Smith: Welcome back to Sunday Night Wrestling. Let’s go to the ring for tonight’s first match. Kimber Marshall is your ring announcer- Kimber?

Cut to the ring:

MATCH ONE- ‘The World’s Most Uninteresting Man’ Tom Smith vs. Rick Beam- Country Club Pro w/Pool Boy Pete
Kimber Marshall announces Rick Beam. Beam is already in the ring accompanied by his Pool Boy Pete.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent.

Off in the distance, music can be heard. Thumping bass. Then headlights.

Headlights become a full-fledged car. But it’s not the car you’d think it’d be. It’s not a jacked up performance vehicle. It doesn’t have shocks that bounce up and down. It’s…it’s…

Thunderbolt Smith: …an Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera?

A 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera no less. Commonly known as one of the most boring cars in the world. And it’s driving out onto the stage.


And backfiring. The music with the thumping bass is actually the drumfill before what is known as the ‘Barry Manilow key change.’

The key change introduces the final dramatic chorus of the classic Barry Manilow hit ‘I Write the Songs’…blaring through an incredibly sophisticated in car stereo system. The Olds Cutlass pulls up and stops.

The front door opens and a man gets out of the car. It’s Tom Smith. The World’s Most Uninteresting Man.

Kimber Marshall: Weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds from New York City. He is the World’s Most Uninteresting Man! Tom Smith.

‘The World’s Most Uninteresting Man’ Tom Smith
AGE: 41 / HT: 5’10” WT: 170 / HOME: New York, NY
ALIGN: 50% Neutral / STYLE: All-Around / FIN: Dull Roar

Thunderbolt Smith: Okay. Tom Smith versus Rick Beam.

Beam’s pool boy Pete helps remove his robe. Beam hops up and down.

Smith also removes his robe.

Rick Hall: That is a boring car.

Quick shot of Smith’s 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera.

Thunderbolt Smith: Hopefully, the match not be as boring as Smith’s car. Referee Brent Payson calls for the bell and we are under way.


Beam fist bumps Pool Boy Pete and chugs down a boat drink complete with tacky umbrella. He smugly makes his way to the center of the ring. Smith joins them- without the extra fanfare. He just walks out. Lock up. Beam has the weight advantage and pushes Smith back towards his corner. Smith kicks Beam’s leg and then sweeps the other for a takedown.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s a nifty move there by Smith.

Rick Hall: He’s not all that exciting. But Tom Smith is very good technically in the ring.

Smith lays the boots in. Beam fires up and hits a shoulder tackle. Beam runs the ropes and goes for another one- Smith cuts him off and slams him down. Beam responds with a running cross body and spinning head butt. He lays in chops, and drives Smith to the corner. Beam goes for the corner splash. Smith moves and Beam hits the turnbuckle. Smith rolls him up from behind.


Two…Beam kicks out.

Rick Hall: First pinfall attempt of the match goes to Tom Smith-

Thunderbolt Smith: Beam rakes the eyes!

Beam then hiptosses Smith to the mat. Stomps on Smith’s face follow. Beam covers.


Two…Smith gets the shoulder up.

Thunderbolt Smith: Rick Beam with the nearfall.

Rick Hall: Beam took a little shortcut and it nearly paid off.

Both men work to the ropes. Pool Boy Pete distracts Smith so Beam can hit a flatliner. Beam whips Smith into the corner turnbuckle. He follows for a splash. Smith lifts his leg and nails Beam in the face.   Beam spins around and staggers back towards the center of the ring. Smith goes up to Beam. Fireman’s carry. He pulls Beam up to an upside down vertical position behind him. Smith then sits out.

Thunderbolt Smith: DULL ROAR!

Rick Hall: Well executed.

Smith for the cover.



THREE! Payson calls for the bell.


Kimber climbs back into the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner at three minutes and nine seconds. The World’s Most Uninteresting Man- TOM SMITH!

Smith raises both hands in the air.

Thunderbolt Smith: Tom Smith with the win here…

“Copacabana”- Barry Manilow

Thunderbolt Smith: …and that music indicates that now it looks like Tom Smith is going to dance.

Rick Hall: Really? I’m not sure we need to see that.

Smith executes a few old 1970’s disco moves in the middle of the ring. The MVW fans are about 50-50 on whether they like this or not.

He breaks out a few moves inspired by the movie ‘Saturday Night Live.’

Thunderbolt Smith: Tom Smith is your winner in our first match of the night-

Rick Hall: WATCH OUT!

Three men appear at ringside. Two jump into the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: IT’S THE KINGS OF OLD SCHOOL!

Kings of Old School
Bobby Ricky Michaels
AGE: 43 / HT: 6’ 1″ WT: 237 / HOME: San Antonio, TX
STR: 6.5 DEX: 8.0 CHR: 7.5 WORK: 7.0 INT: 6.5 END: 7.4
ALIGN: 51% Heel / STYLE: All-around / FIN: King’s Landing (Rollins finisher)
Marty Gibson-Lane
AGE: 44 / HT: 6’ 3″ WT: 245 / HOME: Memphis, TN
STR: 7.6 DEX: 5.0 CHR: 6.5 WORK: 7.0 INT: 6.0 END: 7.4
ALIGN: 52% Heel / STYLE: All-around / FIN: Gut Check
Manager: Jackson C. Horne

Michaels and Lane hit a double clothesline from behind dumping Smith to the mat.

Horne climbs in and whacks Smith in the head with a cornet.

Then Michaels and Lane toss Smith out of the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: All right. We’re going to find out just why the Kings of Old School just attacked the ‘World’s Most Uninteresting Man’ Tom Smith right after these messages.




July 19th – Louisville Gardens / Louisville, KY
July 20th – Roberts Stadium / Evansville, IN
July 21st – Carson Center / Paducah, KY
July 27th – Rushmore Plaza Civic Center / Rapid City, South Dakota
August 3rd – MVWA 92 Redbird Arena / Peoria, IL
August 16th– Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL
August 17th – Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN
August 18th – Martinsville High School Gym / Martinsville, IN


Cut right to the ring and legendary wrestling manager Jackson C. Horne.

Horne is in the middle of the ring flanked by the Kings of Old School: Bobby Ricky Michaels and Marty Gibson-Lane.

Jackson Horne: Let me introduce myself. My name is Jackson C. Horne. I am one of the greatest wrestling managers ever. And I am pleased to be here in Missouri Valley Wrestling. Why? Because you’re not going to find the outlaw, hardcore bullshit here at Missouri Valley Wrestling even though I have no *BLEEP*-ing clue why the hell that guy was listening to music I haven’t heard in over forty years.

The crowd murmurs.

Jackson Horne: I’m going to tell you now, the greatest *BLEEP*-ing tag team in history has come here to MVW for one thing and one thing only- the MVW Tag Team titles.   I’m not lying to you.  So, Kirsten Canfield- wherever you are. You’re going to need to prepare every question you can about your new indy darlings. You better start thinking of the Kings of Old School as your future Tag Team champion. Get mad, get angry, I don’t give a *BLEEP* because that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We’re going to piss you all off because the Kings are the biggest, baddest tag team in this company.

Horne drops the mic and holds up his cornet.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Thunderbolt Smith: Well! Mr. Horne comes to Missouri Valley Wrestling and he’s already thrown down the gauntlet.

Rick Hall: It’ll be interesting to see if the Kings of Old School are up to the challenge of backing up Horne’s words.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann’s office. It’s not a happy place.

McMann is on the phone with CSPN’s CEO Mark Splitter desperately trying to get him to change his mind. Sitting on the other side of the table is the ‘Mouthpiece of the SEC’ Phil Finebaum. Finebaum listens intently to the conversation.

Thunderbolt Smith (voiceover): Change his mind about what you may ask? Let’s go back to last week’s American Heartland Pay Per View. This happened right after Lisa Barbosa-Stevens won the Women’s title.

(REPLAY: From the American Heartland PPV- CSPN Terminates the SEC Contract)

Splitter demands a microphone. Kimber throws one at him…no, literally throws it at Splitter.

Mark Splitter: This is not acceptable. McMann? You told me you brought in elite talent.

McMann just stands there and does not respond.

Mark Splitter: First, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson failed and got into a war with an insignificant wrestler instead of focusing on his job- winning the MVW Title. Then, the three women you promised me were ‘diamonds in the rough’ in the women’s tag team title division- the Hansons- proved they weren’t ready for prime time tonight. The tag team you assured me would run roughshod over the tag division, Miller and Williams, lost to a pair of wrestlers who couldn’t cut it in the SEC- twice. And then, last but not least, finally this debacle involving Christa Carmondy losing the women’s title to an inferior wrestler- someone who also couldn’t hang with the elite wrestlers who were supposedly in the SEC.   Mr. McMann, you promised champions and right now, the SEC has no wrestlers who can call themselves champion. So, I’m sorry but I have no other choice here. Mr. McMann, CSPN CANCELS the SEC!

McMann clearly does not make any headway with Splitter. Finally, he slams down the phone.

Mr. McMann: ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller, and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams quit. The Hanson Sisters quit after the American Heartland pay per view show.

McMann holds up a fax he’s just received.

Mr. McMann: Christa Carmondy just sent this to me. She’s out.

McMann turns to Finebaum.

Mr. McMann: We’re screwed.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Rick Hall: I think it’s safe to say that you can stick a fork in the SEC.

Thunderbolt Smith: Let’s go backstage to Kirsten Canfield who’s with the returning ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin. Kirsten?

Cut to backstage.

Kirsten is at the entrance to the stage with the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin. Tess holds an oversized pizza box of doom in her hand.

Kirsten Canfield: First off Tess, welcome back to Missouri Valley Wrestling.

Tessa Martin: Thank you Kirsten. It’s great to be back.

Kirsten Canfield: You got married on your break from MVW.

Tessa Martin: I did. Met a nice guy a couple years back. We got married about a month and half ago. Did the whole honeymoon thing for two weeks. And I’ve been training to work my way back to MVW for the past month. I’m raring to go and ready to jump back into the fray.

Kirsten Canfield: Your thoughts on the women’s division.

Tessa Martin: It’s stacked. Lisa at the top. I don’t know what Christa’s future plans are but there’s still Sheline Carrigan, Yosemite Samantha is back from injury, and the new girl Shizuko Yamazaki who looks really promising. I will have my work cut out for me, that’s for sure.

Kirsten Canfield: All right Tess. Good luck tonight.

Tessa Martin: Thanks Kirsten.

Cut back to the broadcast desk:

Thunderbolt Smith: Let’s go to the ring for our next match.

MATCH TWO- ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. ‘By the Book’ Tiana Walker
Kimber Marshall is in the ring. She introduces ‘By the Book’ Tiana Walker who’s already in the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Her opponent…

“I Can’t Drive 55”- Sammy Hagar

Kimber Marshall: Hailing from Bowling Green, Ohio. She is the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA. MARTIN!

Tessa walks down to the ring holding her oversized pizza box of doom.

Thunderbolt Smith: Actually, this is the return of two MVW wrestlers. Tess- we know. Tiana Walker is we did not know was returning.

Rick Hall: Tiana’s was pretty by the book person when she was in MVW a few years back. Something tells me that hasn’t changed.

Walker is having an animated conversation with referee Ron Martin. She’s pointing out something in the official MVW rulebook.

Tess patiently waits in her corner as the discussion continues.

Thunderbolt Smith: Nope. Tiana hasn’t changed one bit.

The crowd starts to boo when the match is delayed. Tiana turns to the fans.


Finally, Ron Martin’s patience is exhausted and he calls for the bell.


Thunderbolt Smith: We are finally under way.

Walker continues her debate with the referee. Martin tries to refocus Walker towards Tess- no success. She continues to argue a point in the rulebook.

Rick Hall: Good to see that some things never change.

Tessa finally has enough. She walks over to Tiana- still chirping to the referee. Tess spins her around. Boot to the gut. Tess spins around, grabs Tiana by the back of the neck, and sits out.

Thunderbolt Smith: PIZZA CUTTER!

Tiana bounces up when she hits the mat and lands face down. Tess rolls her over and hooks a leg.



THREE! Martin calls for the bell.

*DING-DING-DING* Kimber Marshall heads for the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: That was quick.

Rick Hall: This is Tiana’s thing. She’ll argue the most obscure point in the MVW rulebook- often at the expense of the match.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner at one minute and seven seconds. The EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL – TESSA! MARTIN!

Ron Martin raises Tessa’s arm in victory.

Thunderbolt Smith: Congratulations to Tessa Martin on her return to Missouri Valley Wrestling and-

Incensed, Tiana goes over and shoves Tess forward from behind.

Thunderbolt Smith: Walker pushes Tessa Martin!

Tessa, with the oversized pizza box of doom in hand, spins around and wants to know what the hell is Tiana’s problem.

Tiana Walker: The pin was illegal. I can show you right here…

Tiana turns the page of the rulebook to the appropriate passage.

Tiana Walker: …it says that you can’t- *BONK*

Tess had heard enough and levels Walker with the oversized pizza box of doom.

Thunderbolt Smith: Tessa Martin your winner.

Rick Hall: I think this happens to Tiana quite a lot.

Thunderbolt Smith: All right. Commercial break and then our main event, right after this.




Men’s Champion: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell

#1 Contender: William Daniels Bryan

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism
‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott
Average Joe (Truckin’ Average Company)

Women’s Champion: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens
#1 Contender:
Christa Carmondy

‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan
‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
Yosemite Samantha
‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
Shizuko Yamazaki

Tag Team Champions: Corporate World Inc.: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks
#1 Contender:
The Southern Boys-‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams
The Deplorables: Rah and ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay
Truckin’ Average Company: Ken Worth-American Trucker and Brad Company
Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice
Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja: Hank and Tiny

Women’s Tag Team Champions: The Missouri Valley Fight Club-Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott
#1 Contender:
Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey
Backman Taylor Powerdrive: Charlene Backman and Brianna Taylor
‘Former Hooter’s Waitress’ C.J. Lewis and “Queen Cool” Leah Iris
The Hanson Sisters: Andrea, Charissa, and Melissa (SEC)
The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey

Heartland Champion: Jack Fraiser
#1 Contender:
‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler (Texas Strangers)
Stan the Appliance Man (Truckin’ Average Company)
Tom Smith ‘The World’s Most Uninteresting Man’


Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Thunderbolt Smith: We are ready for tonight’s main event. Let’s go to the ring and Kimber Marshall.

MAIN EVENT-‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson vs. Average Joe
Marshall is in the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our main event tonight will be one fall.

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first…

“Ordinary Average Guy” – Joe Walsh

Average Joe representing Truckin’ Average Company
AGE: 40 / HT: 6′ 2″ WT: 220 / HOME: Defiance, OH
ALIGN: 66% Face / STYLE: Brawler / FIN: Average Slam
Truckin’ Average Company: Brad Company, Ken Worth-American Trucker, Stan the Appliance Man
Valet: Tequila Sheila

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent. Representing the Southern Boys.

“White Trash” – Chris Janson

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson “The 330 Pound Southern Brawler”
AGE: 37 / HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 330 / HOME: Troy, AL
ALIGN: 55% Heel / STYLE: Brawler-Power / FIN: High Crossbody into a Powerbomb
The Southern Boys: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller, ‘Dangerous’ Dan Miller

Thunderbolt Smith: Bill Dickinson wiped out ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay at the American Heartland pay per view.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, Dickinson disposed of McAvay and now his singular focus is on the MVW title.


Thunderbolt Smith: Referee Davey Keels has called for the bell and we are underway.

Dickinson attacks immediately at the bell. Average Joe does not back down and they brawl. Average Joe fights off a powerslam. He returns with strikes which temporarily slow Dickinson down. Dickinson rakes the eyes. He follows with a powerslam. Average Joe right back up. Dickinson throws some heavy right hands and then slams him to the mat again. Cover.


Two…Average Joe shoots the shoulder up.

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson looks to brawl.

Rick Hall: Average Joe is trying to stand up to him but Dickinson is just big and strong.

Dickinson lays the boots to Average Joe. Average Joe rolls away and goes for a slam. Dickinson blocks. Kicks Average Joe in the groin. Slams him into the turnbuckle. Dickinson unloads with right hands and flies in with in a corner clothesline. And a second corner clothesline causing Average Joe to pitch forward and fall to the mat. Dickinson for the cover.



TH-NO! Average Joe just kicks out.

Dickinson again lays the boots to Average Joe and covers again.


Two…NO! Average Joe kicks out again.

Thunderbolt Smith: ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson is all over Average Joe.

Rick Hall: Average Joe has got to find a way to get some sort of offense on-

Thunderbolt Smith: LOW BLOW!

Dickinson had stepped back and punted Average Joe in the balls. Average Joe curls up into a ball.

Rick Hall: That was blatant and intentional. How is Dickinson not immediately disqualified?

Why? Because the two other members of the Southern Boys are engaged in a heated conversation with the referee over the count.

Rick Hall: Oh. That’s why.

On the other side of the ring, Brad Company, Ken Worth-American Trucker, and Stan the Appliance Man screams at the referee.

Dickinson then drops to a knee and deliberately chokes Average Joe. Company and Worth try to step through the ropes but Miller and Williams direct Keels towards them. Keels then goes over to Company and Worth allowing all three Southern Boys to stomp away at Average Joe.

Thunderbolt Smith: The Southern Boys are on the same page and they are making Average Joe suffer tonight.

Rick Hall: Double team tag team tactics one-oh-one.

Keels finally clears the ring of the non-wrestling contingent.

Average Joe tries to fire back. Average Joe avoids Dickinson’s charge and hits an Average slam. Average Joe clotheslines the 330 Pound Southern Brawler to the floor. Company and Worth each grab a chair and head over. Miller and Williams cut them off so Company and Worth whack them with the chairs. Twice.

Average Joe climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps down, landing the top rope elbow drop.

Thunderbolt Smith: BIG elbow drop by Average Joe!

Rick Hall: He’s back in the match. Dickinson’s rolling around in pain on the floor.

Average Joe back to the ring.

Company and Worth put the chairs over the heads of Miller and Williams and go to whip them into the ringpost. Reverse by the Southern Boys and Company and Worth taste the steel.   Then Miller and Williams use the chairs to send Company and Worth crashing to the floor.

Dickinson back in. Average Joe immediately covers.


Two-Dickinson kicks out.

Thunderbolt Smith: Average Joe went for it but Dickinson with a strong kick out.

Rick Hall: Gonna need more than that to pin the big guy.

Average Joe sets Dickinson up for the Average Slam. But Dickinson blocks and clotheslines him instead. Right hand rocks Average Joe and he drops to a knee. Average Joe then springs forward with a shoulder tackle that glances off him and only holds Dickinson back for a second. Dickinson whips Average to the corner and follows. Dickinson with the splash and then a running bulldog. Cover.



TH-NO! Average Joe again just barely escapes.

Dickinson calls for some chairs. Miller throws him one and Keels gets in his face to stop him. Dickinson argues with the ref. That allows Average Joe to kick it into Dickinson’s face. Average Joe follows with a lariat. Cover.


Two- Dickinson kicks out and sends Average Joe tumbling off of him.

Thunderbolt Smith: Nearly a critical error on Dickinson’s part.

Rick Hall: Average Joe alertly saw the opportunity and it nearly got him a win.

Average Joe goes for another Average Slam. Dickinson counters and hits the powerslam.

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson used his strength to fight out of the Average Slam.

Rick Hall: This could be it for Average Joe after a nasty powerslam by Dickinson.

Dickinson pulls Average Joe up by the hair. Puts his head between his legs. Lift…SLAM!

Thunderbolt Smith: And there’s the power bomb!

Dickinson covers.



THREE…Keels calls for the bell.


Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner at seven minutes and fifty-eight seconds- ‘REDNECK’ BILL! DICKINSON!

Keels raises Dickinson’s arm in victory. The other two Southern Boys join him in the ring to celebrate.

Thunderbolt Smith: ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson got a battle tonight from Average Joe.

Rick Hall: He did. But at the end, Dickinson was just too strong for him and he hit the powerbomb for the win.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s going to do for tonight. We’ll be back next week with more wrestling action right here on Sunday Night Wrestling.   For Rick Hall, I’m Thunderbolt Smith. Good night everybody.



About Art Nouveaux

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