Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents
American Heartland PPV
Indiana Farmer’s Coliseum
Sunday June 30th, 2019
Announcers: Johnny Suave and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall
Suave and Hall in the middle of the ring.
Johnny Suave: Hello and welcome the Indiana Farmer’s Coliseum for an evening of minor league wrestling action- live from the American Heartland! This Missouri Valley Wrestling’s American Heartland pay per view.
The camera pans around. There’s about 6,000 people inside the nearly 10,000 capacity Coliseum tonight.
Johnny Suave: I am Johnny Suave. He is ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.
Hall waves to the crowd.
Rick Hall: Hey.
Johnny Suave: We’ve got five, count em, five title matches on tonight’s card. Every MVW title is on the line tonight.
Rick Hall: Johnny, the one I’m looking forward to the most is the women’s title match between Christa Carmondy and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens. Lisa has beaten Carmondy twice in a row- once at MVWA 90 and one at MVWA 91 via disqualification and count-out but Christa retained. Tonight’s match is the winner by pinfall, submission, stoppage, disqualification, or count-out is the champion. Christa has to win tonight to remain the Women’s champion.
Johnny Suave: The Women’s tag match also interesting. You’ve got the present- the Missouri Valley Fight Club taking on the past- Angels of Death. The AoD were dominant for a long time in MVW. The Missouri Valley Fight Club have now taken their place and they have developed into a great tag team. Can the AoD reach back into the past and pull off the big upset win tonight?
Rick Hall: The Ray McAvay-Bill Dickinson match will be interesting as well. Dickinson needs a win badly here to get himself back on track for a MVW Title shot.
Johnny Suave: And our main event tonight is a battle of two veterans. MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell versus ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism.
Rick Hall: I just don’t see anyone beating Charlie Blackwell at the moment. Blackwell is the best wrestler in MVW right now, period…end of story.
Johnny Suave: Let’s review the full card for tonight.
MVW American Heartland PPV- June 30th – Indianapolis, IN
-‘The Shadow Warrior’ Shizuko Yamazaki vs. Ninja Kitty
-MVW HEARTLAND TITLE MATCH-Jack Frasier © vs. ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-5.1
–The Hanson Sisters: Andrea, Charissa, and Melissa vs. The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey vs. Backman Taylor Powerdrive: Charlene Backman and Brianna Taylor
-MVW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH–Missouri Valley Fight Club: Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott © vs. Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey
-Rah and William Daniels Bryan vs. ????
-‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan vs. ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas
-‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay vs. ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson (SEC)
-MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH-Corporate World Inc.: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks © vs. The Sports Entertainment Coalition: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams
-MVW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH-Christa Carmondy © of the SEC vs. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens
-MVW TITLE MATCH-Charlie Blackwell © vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism
Johnny Suave: Okay. Before we have our first match, let’s go back to last week’s Sunday Night Wrestling.
(Replay: Last Week’s Match-Ninja Kitty vs. Robin the Wonder Girl)
Ninja sets up for her finisher- the hurricanrana DDT. But she’s attacked by someone covered up in a robe and hood who runs down to the ring and jumps her.
Thunderbolt Smith: WAIT A MINUTE! WHO THE HELL IS THAT?
Rick Hall: I have no idea who she is Thunder-
The woman hits a roundhouse kick that decks Ninja Kitty.
Ninja Kitty shows some movement so the woman drags her up, reaches around, and belly to back suplexes her.
Rick Hall: Brent Payson has thrown the match out but this woman is still destroying Ninja Kitty.
Ninja Kitty gets back to all fours and tries to get back up. The woman goes up to her and grabs her by the arms and lifts her to an upside down position. Then she sits out and spikes Ninja Kitty to the mat.
MATCH ONE-‘The Shadow Warrior’ Shizuko Yamazaki vs. Ninja Kitty
AGE: 26 / HT: 5′ 2″ WT: 95 / HOME: Rio Rancho, NM
STR: 3.0 DEX: 9.8 CHR: 6.0 WORK: 6.2 INT: 5.8 END: 5.5
ALIGN: 100% Face / STYLE: High Flyer / FIN: Hurricanrana DDT
Shizuko Yamazaki “The Shadow Warrior”
AGE: 21 / HT: 5’4″ WT: 125 / HOME: Osaka, Japan
STR: 7.0 DEX: 8.2 CHR: 5.0 WORK: 8.0 INT: 7.8 END: 7.5
ALIGN: 70% Heel / STYLE: Martial Arts / FIN: Cranial Contusion
Johnny Suave: Shizuko Yamazaki is a brand new signing with MVW and tonight is her actual in-ring debut. She is just 21 years old and made quite the impression in her first MVW television appearance when she took out both Ninja Kitty and Robin the Wonder Girl with her finisher- Cranial Contusion.
Rick Hall: Ninja Kitty is a long-time MVW veteran and crowd favorite. After Yamazaki ambushed her last week’s Sunday Night Wrestling show, can Ninja Kitty use her speed and quickness to stay away from the impressive offensive arsenal of Yamazaki. And we’re going to find out how Yamazaki will do on a bigger stage in her first actual MVW match.
Johnny Suave: Brent Payson will be the referee and he is ready to go.
Yamazaki strides confidently forward and tries to get in Ninja Kitty’s face. The smaller wrestler is not impressed and simply sidesteps Yamazaki and takes her to the mat with an Armdrag takedown. Ninja Kitty follows with a standing dropkick and sends her stumbling backwards clutching her stomach. Ninja Kitty goes straight in with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown that sends Yamazaki across the ring. The Shadow Warrior gets right back up. Ninja Kitty hits another tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown. Yamazaki back up again. Ninja Kitty hits the move a third time. This time, Yamazaki bails out of the ring and the crowds and roars.
Johnny Suave: Ninja Kitty forces the young newcomer to take a time out and try to regroup.
Rick Hall: Last week, she got the jump on Ninja Kitty. This week, Ninja Kitty had plenty of time to prepare and it looks like she scouted her out well. Ninja Kitty is in complete control of the match.
Yamazaki back in. She charges forward but Ninja Kitty simply ‘ole’s’ her and Yamazaki runs the ropes. She uses the momentum and comes at Ninja Kitty again. Ninja Kitty uses her speed and quickness to sidestep Yamazaki again. This time Yamazaki slams into the corner turnbuckle. Now angry, Yamazaki stalks Ninja Kitty all over the ring but she can’t lay a hand on her. Finally Ninja Kitty catches her with a drop toehold and then hops to the middle rope to propel herself into the air and a splash. Ninja Kitty hooks the leg. Payson makes the count.
Tw-…Yamazaki emphatically kicks out.
Another standing dropkick by Ninja Kitty lands on Yamazaki’s gut again. She falls back into the corner. Ninja Kitty climbs onto the turnbuckles to start hammering away at Yamazaki’s head. Yamazaki, however, uses her size and strength to lift Ninja Kitty up, charge across the ring, and drive her back first into the opposite turnbuckles.
Johnny Suave: Yamazaki is doing some chiropractic work on Ninja Kitty’s spine.
Rick Hall: Johnny, Yamazaki showed incredible strength there. Just when you thought Ninja Kitty had her rattled, she comes up with a big move that changes the momentum.
Johnny Suave: Yamazaki folded her in half when she collided with that turnbuckle.
Now it’s Yamazaki in control. She picks Ninja Kitty up and again rams her into the turnbuckle. Then a second time. And a third time. Then she spins around to hit a massive spinebuster into the middle of the ring.
Johnny Suave: SPINEBUSTER! She covers!
Payson slides in.
Johnny Suave: Ninja Kitty JUST kicks out.
Rick Hall: Yamazaki slammed Ninja Kitty three times into the turnbuckle and then destroyed her with a spinebuster.
Yamazaki pops up and starts stomping away on Ninja Kitty.
Johnny Suave: She’s just having her way with Ninja Kitty now.
Rick Hall: Yamazaki is trying to do as much damage as possible before she finishes her off.
Suddenly, Ninja Kitty desperately grabs one of Yamazaki’s legs and grapevines it with her own. She uses the leverage to pull the larger woman off balance and down to the mat. Ninja Kitty rolls through, still clutching Levee’s leg, and locks in a STF!
Johnny Suave: Where did that come from!
Rick Hall: I thought she was dead in the water.
Johnny Suave: Out of nowhere, Ninja Kitty somehow tripped up Yamazaki and slapped on the STF!
Rick Hall: Can Ninja Kitty hang on?
Ninja Kitty hangs on for dear life, sitting down into it for extra leverage. Yamazaki frantically tries to power out since her legs are bent in ways they weren’t designed for. She uses her strength to crawl across the ring to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope with one hand. Payson immediately calls for the break.
Johnny Suave: Yamazaki gets to the ropes and Ninja Kitty is forced to break the submission hold. That was close.
Rick Hall: There’s Ninja Kitty’s Achilles heel. She’s incredibly quick and agile but she is also easily overpowered by bigger and stronger wrestlers.
Yamazaki pulls herself up on the ropes and tentatively puts weight on her legs. Ninja Kitty charges in to take advantage of this. She throws a series of solid kicks to Yamazaki’s legs. Yamazaki shoves her back.
Johnny Suave: Yamazaki’s legs may have been injured? She’s not moving as fluid as she was earlier.
Rick Hall: Ninja Kitty senses that too. She’s pressing the attack Johnny.
Ninja Kitty charges back and drops low to hit a chop block to Yamazaki’s leg. Ninja Kitty mounts Yamazaki to start throwing punches but Yamazaki easily throws her off. Ninja Kitty gets to her feet and kicks Yamazaki square in the head.
Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Rick Hall: That hurt her!
Ninja Kitty for the win.
Yamazaki kicks out and sends Ninja Kitty tumbling away from her.
Johnny Suave: Another big kick out by Yamazaki!
Ninja Kitty picks herself up again. She charges at Yamazaki and goes for a splash. Yamazaki catches her in the air and spinebusters Ninja Kitty to the mat.
Johnny Suave: WHOA! What a reversal by the young Yamazaki!
Rick Hall: Ninja Kitty went for it. Yamazaki caught her and turned it into a back shattering spinebuster.
Ninja Kitty somehow staggers back to her feet. Yamazaki rolls through like a freight train and blasts her with a shoulder block sending her flying backwards into the ropes. Ninja Kitty slingshots off and lands face first on the mat. Yamazaki wastes little time. She grabs Ninja Kitty by the arms and lifts her to an upside down position. Then she sits out and spikes Ninja Kitty to the mat.
Johnny Suave: CRANIAL CONTUSION!
Rick Hall: Game over.
Payson is there for the count.
Brent Payson raises Yamazaki’s hand in the air in victory while Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring to make it official.
Kimber Marshall: Your winner at nine minutes and thirty-eight seconds…’The SHADOW WARRIOR’ SHIZUKO YAMAZAKI!
Johnny Suave: Well! It took a little while for Shizuko Yamazaki to get herself settled down. But once she did, she showed why she could be a force in the MVW Women’s division.
Rick Hall: Give Ninja Kitty credit. She gave the young twenty-one year old a fight tonight and went for it. But Yamazaki just had too much and she gets the win tonight in her official Missouri Valley Wrestling debut.
The MVW medical staff checks on Ninja Kitty inside the ring.
Johnny Suave: All right. But let’s go to the back. Delaney Foster with the challenger for tonight’s Heartland Title match.
Rick Hall: I’m not sure this is a good idea. The last two times she’s tried to interview ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-5.1 it hasn’t gone very well.
Cut to backstage.
Delaney Tries to Interview Ultratron-5.1…Again
The perky brunette with the bright smile tries to be positive. Ultratron-5.1 just stands there with his arms folded.
Delaney Foster: Thanks Johnny. I am, once again, backstage with Ultratron-5.1 who will face Jack Fraiser in just a few minutes for the MVW Heartland title. Ultratron-5.1. How are you feeling tonight?
Ultratron-5.1 just looks back at her with complete and utter revulsion. Delaney waits for an answer and it all gets awkward pretty fast.
She tries again.
Delaney Foster: Um…okay. Let’s try this one. Usually, Dawn McGill is with you. She’s not. Where is she?
This one he answers…obliquely.
Ultratron-5.1: She’s doing her job.
Delaney Foster: Oh? What is she doing?
Ultratron-5.1: That’s none of your business. You see sniveling, puny, human insect, I have evolved beyond any normal human being backstage. Hear me now, pathetic worker ants of Missouri Valley Wrestling- and especially Jack Frasier. The hand that slays you belongs to…Ultratron-Five point one! I am Ultratron-5.1. Ultratron-5.1 will be the next Heartland champion when I destroy your pitiful body at this putrid American Heartland show. You will bow down to Ultratron-5.1. (He points at Delaney) You will bow down to Ultratron-5.1! (Does sweeping gesture with his hand.) You ALL will bow down before Ultratron-5.1 when I take over Missouri Valley Wrestling!
Then he walks off.
Delaney Foster: Back to you Johnny.
Cut back to the broadcast desk.
Johnny Suave: He’s a dick, isn’t he?
Rick Hall: You have no idea.
Johnny Suave: All right, we are ready for match number two. Let’s go to the ring and Kimber Marshall for the introductions.
MATCH TWO/MVW HEARTLAND TITLE MATCH-Jack Fraiser © vs. The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-5.1
Kimber is in the ring and ready to go.
Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. This next match is one fall…
Crowd: ONE fall.
Kimber Marshall: …and is for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Heartland Title. Introducing first, the challenger…weighing in at two hundred pounds…from parts unknown. He is the ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’…ULTRATRON-5.1!
Ultratron-Five…dressed like a cheap b-movie knock off of a robot…walks on the stage.
Ultratron-Five: Sniveling, puny, human insects, I have evolved beyond any human capability. The hand that slays you belongs to…Ultratron-Five-point-one!
Ultratron-Five tries to look menacing. He turns to the fans and flips them off.
Johnny Suave: This guy is just a hoot, isn’t he?
Rick Hall: Again. You have no idea.
Kimber Marshall: And his opponent.
The video screen fires up.
It’s 1946 in the Scottish Highlands.
On the hill of Irish na Dun, British nurse Blaire Rendell hears the tell-tale buzzing sound as she approaches the standing stones. This makes her very happy.
Blaire Rendell (Scottish accent): Soon, I’ll be back with my true love Jamie and I will be truly happy once again in eighteenth century Scotland.
Blaire goes to the standing stones where the buzzing sound gets louder and louder. And then Dawn McGill jumps her.
Johnny Suave: WHAT THE-…what is she doing there?
Rick Hall: I’ve never seen this happen before.
McGill pummels Rendell with right hands. Rendell gets in a couple shots but gets overwhelmed. McGill whips her into one of the stones and Rendell hits hard, falling to the ground.
Rick Hall: But apparently Dawn McGill has somehow magically gone through the stones back to 1946 to attack jack Fraiser’s Oootlander Blaire Rendell before the match starts.
Suave looks at Hall as if he’s nuts.
Johnny Suave: What?
McGill drags her up again and whips her a second time into another stone.
This time, Rendell disappears. McGill realizes she’s just made a big mistake.
Dawn McGill: Oh shit.
Suddenly, Rendell appears in 2019 next to Jack Fraiser.
In the ring, Ultratron-5.1’s jaw drops when he sees Rendell on stage.
McGill takes off running at the same stone Rendell just disappeared into. She reaches the stone and-
No, not the group. McGill hits the stone at full force. She bounces backwards from the stone and tips back unconscious to the ground…back in 1946.
Fraiser takes off towards the ring with Rendell right behind him.
Johnny Suave: I have no freakin’ clue what the hell just happened here. But am I right to think that Dawn McGill is somehow trapped in 1946 because of some stupid magical stone?
Rick Hall: Keyfabe, Johnny. Keyfabe.
Johnny Suave: Whoaa-kay. That’s a yes!
With McGill stuck at the hills of Irish na Dun…back in 1946, Ultratron-5.1 decides to just bail on the match all together. He climbs out of the ring and hightails it to the back before Fraiser and Rendell can get their hands on him.
Johnny Suave: Ultratron-5.1 is leaving and I don’t think we’re going to get a match.
Rick Hall: His plans totally blown up to smithereens, The ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ decides to call it a night and takes a powder.
Johnny Suave: With Dawn McGill trapped in time.
Rick Hall: Keyfabe.
Johnny Suave: This is just- bizarre.
Fraiser climbs into the ring with referee Ron Martin.
Martin calls for the bell…
…and does the obligatory count to ten.
Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring.
Kimber Marshall: And your winner by count-out…and STILL MVW Heartland Champion- Jack Fraiser!
Johnny Suave: Totally bizarre what just happened here. I’ve been doing this for over fifteen years and I’ve never seen anything like this before.
Rick Hall: Well? You haven’t been around Ultratron-5.1 very much then.
Johnny Suave: So Jack Fraiser will remain the MVW Heartland champion and Dawn McGill is apparently stuck in 1946.
Rick Hall: In keyfabe.
Suave rolls his eyes.
Johnny Suave: STOP SAYING THAT!
Suave takes a quick breath.
Johnny Suave: We now have a video package for our upcoming match.
A video package of the next match plays featuring the Hanson Sisters, the Korver Sisters, and Backman Taylor Powerdrive.
The Hanson Sisters (SEC)
AGE: 26 / HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 160 / HOME: Red Lake, MN
STR: 8.3 DEX: 6.2 CHR: 4.5 WORK: 6.2 INT: 5.5 END: 8.1
ALIGN: 77% Heel / STYLE: Brawler-Goon / FIN: Bludgeon
AGE: 27 / HT: 6′ 0″ WT: 164 / HOME: Red Lake, MN
STR: 8.5 DEX: 5.5 CHR: 4.3 WORK: 6.7 INT: 5.0 END: 6.8
ALIGN: 77% Heel / STYLE: Brawler-Goon / FIN: Bludgeon
The Korver Sisters
AGE: 31 / HT: 5’ 10” WT: 128 / HOME: Ottumwa, IA
ALIGN: 80% Face / STYLE: Technical-Scientific / FIN: Korver Krusher
THEME MUSIC: ‘Small Town’ – John Cougar Mellencamp
AGE: 30 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 135 / HOME: Ottumwa, IA
ALIGN: 80% Face / STYLE: Technical-Scientific / FIN: Korver Krusher
Backman Taylor Powerdrive
AGE: 27 / HT: 6-1 WT: 175 / HOME: Detroit, MI
ALIGN: 55% Heel / STYLE: Power / FIN: TCB
AGE: 28 / HT: 5-11 WT: 170 / HOME: Flat Rock, MI
ALIGN: 55% Heel / STYLE: Power / FIN: Sledgehammer
Ultratron-5.1 is not happy. He turns to Todd- the backstage technician.
Ultratron-5.1: Here me now Todd – lowly backstage technician. Dawn McGill failed me. I vow that she will never, ever set foot at a MVW show ever again.
Todd: Because she’s stuck back in 1946.
Ultratron-5.1: Because she’s stuck back in 1946.
Ultratron-5.1 points at Todd.
Ultratron-5.1: You will have to go back in time and tell her.
Todd: What? But-
Ultratron-5.1: While you are doing that, I will have to go find a new valet.
Ultratron-Five yanks Todd by the arm and drags him towards the back.
Ultratron-5.1: All right. Let’s go to work.
Todd: Um, sir? I still have things I need to be doing tonight. Sir? Sir! SIR!
Cut back to Suave and Hall at the broadcast desk.
Johnny Suave: So, ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ is just a little upset.
Rick Hall: Just a little.
Johnny Suave: Again, he’s a dick.
Rick Hall: Yeah. Pretty much.
MATCH THREE-The Hanson Sisters: Andrea and Melissa (SEC) vs. The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey vs. Backman Taylor Powerdrive: Charlene Backman and Brianna Taylor
All three teams are in the ring. Charissa Hanson accompanies her two sisters and the SEC are at ringside.
Johnny Suave: All right. This will be an elimination match involving three women’s tag teams looking to break into title contention.
Rick Hall: Johnny, The Hanson Sisters are three hockey loving young ladies dressed in their old school Charlestown Chiefs hockey sweaters wielding hockey sticks. They take a ‘Slapshot’ approach to their wrestling and incorporate various components of professional hockey into their repertoire. But it’s put them at odds with the corporate atmosphere of the Sports Entertainment Coalition- more so with the CSPN brass who are not comfortable with them.
Speaking of CSPN, reporters Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris are at ringside with a CSPN camera crew to film the match.
Johnny Suave: These are the ladies who turned on Yosemite Samantha a couple months back to sign on with the Sports Entertainment Coalition.
Rick Hall: Right. To further their tag team careers. Unfortunately for the Hansons, they haven’t made a lot of traction and reportedly are very unhappy with their situation. Then we have the Korver Sisters, two time MVW Tag Team champions. Kelly and Korey are elite technical wrestlers who if they are on will simply out-executive their opponents.
Johnny Suave: Who’s the younger team.
Rick Hall: Backman Taylor Powerdrive. Another up and coming tag team. Their claim is ‘pound for pound’ they are the toughest tag team in women’s wrestling.
Johnny Suave: All right! Brent Payson in the ring and we are ready to go.
All three Hanson sisters charge across ring, hockey sticks raised, and then…
Some Woman: HOLD IT! HOLD IT RIGHT HERE! SHHHHHHHH!
Johnny Suave: What the hell is THAT?
Rick Hall: Johnny? Is she really dressed like a librarian?
Suave pauses and takes a second look.
Johnny Suave: Why yes. Yes she is.
The Librarian storms into the middle of the ring.
The Librarian: SHHHHHH! BE QUIET! THEY’LL BE NO ROUGH-HOUSING HERE!
All three teams look at her- then each other. Almost like an unspoken thing is being said to each other.
The Librarian: Now go on. Be quiet-
The Hansons simultaneously strike the Librarian with their hockey sticks.
Backman and Taylor go up to her and hit a double team powerbomb.
The Korvers then lift her up in the air and spike her with the Korver Krusher.
Johnny Suave: Okay. Now that we’ve got that out of the way.
All hell breaks loose…for real.
Johnny Suave: Andrea and Melissa Hanson go right for the Korvers and here we go.
Both Hansons whack the Korvers with their hockey sticks.
Quick cut to ringside. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann doesn’t appear entirely comfortable with the Hanson’s tactics.
But SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum does. He pumps his fists when both Hansons nail the Korvers again. Kelly goes flying out of the ring and she’s already got a gash near her ear. Korey ends up draped over the top rope and she’s a bloody mess already too.
Charissa Hanson attacks Backman Taylor Powerdrive on her own- which given BTP’s relative size advantage may not be a good idea. Hanson gets a glancing hockey stick shot on Backman but Taylor levels Charissa with a right hand. Backman starts stomping away at her.
Rick Hall: So what do you think?
Johnny Suave: I went to a wrestling show and a hockey game broke out? OOOH!
Suave reacts when Andrea Hanson uses the hockey stick to Russian legsweep Korey Korver to the mat. Then Melissa comes off the top turnbuckle and jams her hockey stick across Korey’s stomach.
Backman and Taylor toss Charissa over the top rope to the floor. Then they go searching for the other two Hansons.
Johnny Suave: So what are the chances that Brent Payson can keep any semblance of control of this match?
Rick Hall just does a spittake.
Johnny Suave: Now it’s the Hansons squaring off against BTP.
Rick Hall: Let’s see if Backman Taylor Powerdrive are taking care of business tonight.
Suave just shakes his head.
Johnny Suave: Hey you, I’m just going to let it ride.
Rick Hall: You win.
Andrea Hanson, Melissa Hanson and BTP continue to brawl in the ring. The Korvers are on the floor at ringside still trying to figure out what the hell hit them. Charissa is back up and in the Hanson’s corner.
Brent Payson tries to restore some order to the match. He begins to count the Korvers out.
Johnny Suave: It’s just an all-out slugfest in the ring! Andrea versus Backman. Melissa versus Taylor.
Rick Hall: I think Payson may start the count on getting the extra people out of the ring after-
Kelly Korver tries to answer the count and attempts to haul herself back into the ring. CSPN cameras get an upclose view of her desperate attempt to climb back into the ring.
But her hands slip off the middle rope and Kelly falls back to the floor. Payson hits 10 and that’s the end of the road for the Korvers.
Kimber Marshall (outside the ring): The Korver Sisters are eliminated at four minutes and eighteen seconds.
Johnny Suave: That’s one down. Now, let’s see what he does about the others.
As medical personnel attend to both Korvers, Payson does indeed start a count on Melissa Hanson and Brianna Taylor.
Reluctantly, the two separate and return to their respective corners leaving Andrea Hanson and Charlene Backman as the legal people in the ring. Hanson connects with a right hand. Backman fires back with chops. More rights by Andrea. Backman connects with several chops and drives Andrea towards the BTP corner. She shoves Andrea back- Taylor grabs her and holds her in place. Backman goes dropkick and tags Taylor in.
Johnny Suave: It’s going to be harder for the Hansons to push BTP around in a regular match setting.
Taylor hits a neck breaker. Both up. Andrea grabs her hand and whips Taylor to the ropes. *WHACK*
Johnny Suave: Melissa Hanson with the hockey stick shot to the back!
Backman arches her back in pain. Andrea runs towards her and clotheslines Backman over the top rope. She lands on the floor in the wrong part of ringside.
Johnny Suave: ALL THREE HANSONS TEAMING UP ON BACKMAN!
Rick Hall: HERE COMES BRIANNA TAYLOR!
Taylor hops onto the ring apron and goes to the top turnbuckle. She pauses. Sets. And cannonballs off the top and takes out Andrea and Charissa.
Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! DID YOU SEE THAT!
Rick Hall: Brianna Taylor jumped off the top rope, balled herself up into a human cannonball, and landed on top of Andrea and Charissa Hanson.
Melissa Hanson continues to stomp away at Backman. Taylor pulls herself up and spins Melissa around. Melissa with a right hand. Taylor with a right. Melissa with a right. Taylor with a right. Both women throw faster punches in rapid succession. Melissa then boots Taylor in the stomach – lowers her head – and drives Taylor into the edge of the ring apron.
Charissa back up. She knocks Taylor to the floor. Charissa and Melissa pull Taylor back to her feet. Lift her up vertically. And drives her back first to the floor.
Andrea is now back up. She drags Backman to her feet and takes her back to the ring. Andrea throws her in and follows.
Johnny Suave: The story coming into this match was the Hanson’s chaos versus the Korver’s technical superiority. No one gave BTP much of a chance.
Rick Hall: They’ve been around for a while Johnny. They’re still finding their way. Sometimes it takes a while.
Johnny Suave: Now, if BTP could pull off the win tonight, that would be huge for them.
Rick Hall: Huge.
Charissa in the ring with Melissa. They hit a double team vertical suplex on Backman. Payson chases Charissa from the ring. Melissa makes the cover. It takes Payson an extra second to get there.
Thr-NO! Backman shoots the shoulder up at the very last second.
This enrages the SEC. McMann comes forward shouting at the referee. Finebaum is even more vocal about Payson ‘not being in position to count the pinfall.’
Melissa grounds the action. Backman fights back with right hands. She pokes Melissa’s eyes and tags in Taylor. Melissa also tags out for Andrea Hanson. Andrea fires up and fires away with strikes to Taylor. Taylor no sells her and fires back with rights of her own. Taylor starts lighting her up like a Christmas tree and follows with chops. In comes Charissa. Taylor fights her off and boots Charissa in the stomach. She German Suplexes Charissa who wisely rolls out of the ring. Andrea uses the hockey stick again to Russian Leg sweep Taylor to the buckles. Taylor again fires up with strikes. Melissa Hanson joins in and she and Andrea double team Taylor. Andrea hits a knee strike, forearm strike, and turns it into a dragon suplex. Cover.
Taylor kicks out.
Melissa looks for the package piledriver to finish Taylor off. Suddenly…
Johnny Suave: IT’S THE KORVERS!
Kelly and Korey, bandaged up, hit the ring with steel chairs. *WHAM!* Kelly knocks out Andrea Hanson. *WHAM!* Korey knocks out Melissa Hanson.
Charissa Hanson charges forward. She jumps up to the ring apron and- *WHAM* Charissa falls back off the apron.
The SEC is incensed. Finebaum charges up to the ring apron and he’s screaming at Brent Payson. McMann just stands in place with his arms wide open.
Backman in and holds up Andrea. Side facelock by Taylor! She drops to the mat and drives Andrea face first to the canvas
Johnny Suave: SLEDGEHAMMER!
Rick Hall: Taylor covers!
Johnny Suave: THEY DID IT!
Kimber Marshall in the ring to make it all official.
Kimber Marshall: Your winner at thirteen minutes and thirty-one seconds…BACKMAN. TAYLOR. POWERDRIVE!
Johnny Suave: A HUGE win for Backman Taylor Powerdrive.
Rick Hall: It’s a win they’ve needed for a while now. This should jump start their drive up the Women’s tag team rankings.
Johnny Suave: WAIT! WATCH OUT!
Charissa Hanson blasts Backman in the back and Melissa Hanson nails Taylor in the back with their hockey sticks. Charissa and Melissa stomp away at BTP while the crowd unloads on them.
Johnny Suave: THE HANSONS ARE STOMPING AWAY AT BACKMAN AND TAYLOR!
Rick Hall: They don’t take losses well either.
Johnny Suave: I kind of sensed that.
“Moth to a Flame”- Metallica
Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!
Rick Hall: That…that’s…
A red blur with a cowgirl hat runs towards the ring.
Yosemite Samantha “The roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest cowgirl who ever crossed the Rio Grande”
AGE: 30 / HT: 5’1″ WT: 105 / HOME: Dodge City, KS
STR: 6.5 DEX: 7.2 CHR: 6.0 WORK: 8.9 INT: 7.8 END: 7.5
ALIGN: 55% Heel / STYLE: Brawler-Hardcore / FIN: Shotgun Knee/Cannonball Combo
Rick Hall: SHE’S BACK!
Johnny Suave: YOSEMITE SAMANTHA!
Back from injury, Yosemite Samantha, with chair, slides into the ring. Andrea swings the hockey stick at her. YS ducks. Boot to the stomach. *CLANK* Chairshot to the head. Andrea’s legs give out and she’s down.
Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES ANDREA HANSON!
YS turns to Melissa. Melissa swings. Melissa misses. Melissa- *CLANK* …falls to the mat.
Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES MELISSA HANSON!
Charissa Hanson rushes her. Yosemite Samantha slams the chair into her gut leaving Charissa bent over. Then *CLANG* down goes Charissa.
Yosemite Samantha then parades around the ring with the steel chair held up high.
Rick Hall: The last time we saw Yosemite Samantha, she was getting stretchered out following an attack by the Hanson Sisters at a MVW House show in Carbondale, Illinois in late April. She’s been out for a couple months and now she’s back.
Johnny Suave: Not good news for the Hanson Sisters if Yosemite Samantha is back for a little payback.
Kirsten Canfield joins Backman Taylor Powerdrive in the ring.
Kirsten Canfield: Real quickly, Charlene. Brianna. Tonight, you got a signature win. What are you two thinking and how do you feel?
Charlene Backman: Awesome. This is the win we needed to prove to everyone that we are a viable tag team.
Brianna Taylor: Yes. In just a few minutes, the current Women’s tag team champions and the best women’s tag team ever in MVW are going to meet. That’s what we want to aspire to. Tonight was a great first step in that direction.
Kirsten Canfield: What’s next?
Charlene Backman: We’re going to keep trying to build the momentum.
Brianna Taylor: Yep. We gotta keep winning matches and hope we get a title shot soon.
Kirsten Canfield: Thanks ladies.
We see the SEC return to their official dressing room. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. Then, the SEC’s Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum. The MVW Tag Team Champions ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams, the Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy follow along with ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson. No one appears to be in a good mood.
Dickinson slams the door shut.
A few seconds later, the Hansons limp back to the dressing room. They definitely do not look happy.
Cut to a video package for the upcoming MVW Women’s Tag Team Title Match.
Announcer: This will be a battle between the present…
Missouri Valley Fight Club
AGE: 32 / HT: 5′ 9″ WT: 138 / HOME: Glasgow, Scotland
STR: 5.8 DEX: 7.8 CHR: 5.0 WORK: 8.2 INT: 7.2 END: 7.5
ALIGN: 60% Face / STYLE: Technical / FIN: Glasgow Kiss
AGE: 33 / HT: 5′ 10″ WT: 129 / HOME: Omaha, NE
STR: 8.0 DEX: 5.8 CHR: 4.0 WORK: 9.2 INT: 5.8 END: 6.0
ALIGN: 60% Heel / STYLE: Brawler / FIN: Kick Start
Announcer: …versus the past.
Angels of Death
Angel Casey “Ms. Lethal Weapon”
AGE: 36 / HT: 5’ 6” WT: 115 / HOME: Portales, NM
STR: 4.5 DEX: 9.4 CHR: 5.5 WORK: 8.0 INT: 8.0 END: 7.2
ALIGN: 51% Face / STYLE: High Flyer / FIN: Angel Death Drop
Angel Scott “The Terminatrix”
AGE: 37 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 167 / HOME: Morgantown, WV
STR: 8.4 DEX: 5.2 CHR: 5.0 WORK: 7.9 INT: 6.8 END: 5.5
ALIGN: 51% Heel / STYLE: Power / FIN: Angel Death Drop
Announcer: It took some time to climb the ladder and stake their claim, but The Missouri Valley Fight Club have now established themselves as the dominant women’s tag team in MVW. They take a gritty, no holds barred approach to their wrestling. Davisson is a pure brawler; McDermott is more technical but she’s not afraid to mix it up if circumstances dictate. Her Glasgow Handshake is a move that often leaves her opponent with a hangover the next day.
A quick clip of McDermott banging heads with an opponent while Davisson brawls with another.
Announcer: Five time MVW Tag Team champions Angels of Death are the best women’s tag team ever in Missouri Valley Wrestling. Period. But now in their late thirties, Angel Scott and Angel Casey have watched their fortunes fall from the stratosphere back down to earth. The AoD can still bring it but not as consistently as they did when both women were in their prime. This makes them still a dangerous tag team to deal with and the Angel Death Drop is still a devastating finisher if Scott and Casey get the opportunity.
A quick clip of Angels of Death dropping someone with the Angel Death Drop.
Cut to the broadcast desk.
Johnny Suave: Let’s go to the ring and Kimber Marshall for the introductions.
MATCH FOUR/MVW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH–Missouri Valley Fight Club: Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott © vs. Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey
Kimber is in the ring and ready.
Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall…
Crowd: ONE fall.
Kimber Marshall: …and is for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Women’s Tag Team Title match.
The crowd roars.
Kimber Marshall: Introducing the challengers…
“If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)”- AC/DC
The crowd explodes when the first bars from AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’ play. Angel Scott and Angel Casey walk out and pose for the fans.
Kimber Marshall: They are the FIVE-time Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team champions! Weighing in tonight at a combined weight of two hundred and eighty-two pounds. She is Ms. Lethal Weapon- Angel Casey. She is ‘Ms. Terminatrix’ Angel Scott. They are: ANGELS. OF. DEATH!
Everyone stands as Casey and Scott make their way down to the ring.
Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…
“Cut Me Some Slack”- Paul McCartney/Nirvana
Kimber Marshall: Weighing in tonight at one hundred and twenty-nine pounds. She hails from Omaha, Nebraska. HARRRR-LEEEE. DAVISSONNNNNN!
Out walks Harley Davisson wearing a black biker’s vest and torn blue jeans.
Kimber Marshall: And her tag team partner…
“Scotland the Brave”- Traditional
Kimber Marshall: …hailing from Glasgow, Scotland and weighing in tonight at one hundred and thirty-eight pounds. She is a Missouri Valley Wrestling ORIGINAL! CARRIEANNE McDERMOTT!
McDermott walks out in dark blue and white- the colors of Scotland, and fist bumps Davisson on the stage.
Then both women head towards the ring.
Johnny Suave: Rick, on paper these two teams appear to be evenly matched.
Rick Hall: On paper, perhaps. Realistically, Davisson and McDermott’s youth is the real difference here. Angels of Death aren’t the force of nature they once was and the Missouri Valley Fight Club have really jelled together as a tag team over the past year. They all but forced MVW into creating the Women’s Tag Team division.
Johnny Suave: Davey Keels will be our referee and he has called for the bell.
Angel Casey and Carrieanne McDermott to start. Both women eye each other warily and cautiously circle each other. Lock up. McDermott takes an armdrag and twists the arm. Casey escapes and whips her into the ropes. Casey for a clothesline- McDermott ducks and hits the other ropes. Casey jumps and Korver goes under her and into the other ropes again. Off the ropes, McDermott for a wristlock…Casey blocks…armdrag takedown followed by a few quick boots.
Casey pulls McDermott towards her corner and tags in Angel Scott. Scott pulls McDermott towards her and clotheslines her to the mat. Leg drop by Scott. Scott whips McDermott into the ropes…Casey slips into the ring and catches McDermott and spins her and then brings her back down to the mat as she kneels and slams the McDermott’s back across the extended knee. Scott follows with an elbow drop. Cover…1…2…McDermott kicks out.
Johnny Suave: Angels of Death off to a quick start. Carrieanne McDermott tags in Davisson.
Rick Hall: Looks like the AoD are up to it tonight.
Davisson immediately goes on the offensive. A right hand causes Scott’s head to snap back. Davisson grabs Scott’s leg and holds it parallel to the mat, then spins the leg inwards causing Scott to fall off balance and twist in the air bringing her to the ground in a turning motion.
Johnny Suave: Dragon screw legwhip by Davisson!
Rick Hall: That’s a little surprising. She usually doesn’t bust out an actual wrestling move until later on in a match.
Johnny Suave: So she’s changing things up tonight. We’ll see how that works.
Davisson pulls Scott up and clotheslines her right back down. Davisson then hammers Scott with lefts and rights. Whip to the ropes. Davisson clotheslines Scott and covers.
One…Scott kicks right out.
Davisson sends her into the ropes and connects with a jumping clothesline. Davisson covers and hooks the leg.
Two…Scott kicks out.
Johnny Suave: Harley Davisson is very aggressive and taking the fight right to-…OH! Low blow by Angel Scott!
Rick Hall: A rather aggressive response by Angel Scott.
Davisson bends over. Casey again into the ring. She hits a spinning heel kick that sends Davisson into the ropes. Casey distracts the referee. Scott comes over and drills Davisson with a Steel chair and busts her open.
Johnny Suave: She’s bleeding from the forehead.
Rick Hall: That was a nasty chairshot.
Casey from behind. She applies an inverted facelock with one arm, and uses the other arm to aid in elevating Davisson so that she is lifted up and held upside-down. Casey falls to her back driving the opponent down to the mat face first, behind her. Now she covers…
Johnny Suave: Casey for the win!
Two-Davisson gets the shoulder up.
Johnny Suave: NO!
Rick Hall: Davisson’s bleeding really badly. That could play a factor the longer the match goes.
Johnny Suave: I would think the MVFC is going to want to end this sooner than later.
Rick Hall: Davisson has to tag out.
Casey delivers karate chops and then drives Davisson to the ropes. She jumps and nails her from behind with a double ax handle chop. Davisson gets up and leaps at her corner and tags McDermott in.
Scott starts to come in the ring but the referee stops her. While Keels is occupied, McDermott and Davisson doubleteam Casey’s legs. McDermott to the top rope. Davisson holds Casey’s legs apart. Flying headbutt to Casey’s groin.
Johnny Suave: We’ve seen some excellent double-team work on both sides in this match.
Rick Hall: Now it’s Casey has got to tag out. But McDermott lifts her up in the air…vertical suplex on the way…got it!
Johnny Suave: Cover!
Johnny Suave: Casey kicks out.
Rick Hall: Again, she has got to get to the corner but the Missouri Valley Fight Club won’t let her get near it.
Casey tries to crawl towards the corner but McDermott pulls her back to their corner.
Again, Scott tries to intervene. Again the referee is preoccupied with keeping her out of the ring. Davisson pulls Casey up by the hair…another vertical suplex.
Johnny Suave: Angel Scott has got to be patient.
Rick Hall: This is where the MVFC are lethal. They are going to slog this out and grind Casey down.
Johnny Suave: Cover!
Johnny Suave: NO!
Rick Hall: Casey just kicked out. But she’s got to tag out! She’s trying desperately to get to the corner.
McDermott tries to drag her right back to the wrong part of town. Back kick by Casey spins McDermott around. Casey ‘swims’ to her corner.
Johnny Suave: Can she make it?
Rick Hall: YES! Tag made and here comes Angel Scott!
Off the hot tag, Scott tackles McDermott and starts throwing lefts and rights. Roll up
Johnny Suave: Kick out by McDermott.
Scott sends McDermott into the ropes- back elbow by Scott stops her in her tracks on the return. Short arm lariat sends McDermott down. McDermott kicks Scott in the groin.
Johnny Suave: Oooh. McDermott takes the short cut there just as Angels of Death were picking up steam.
McDermott rolls to her corner to make the tag to Davisson. Davisson comes out and rocks Scott with a running right hand. Davisson knees her and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle.
Johnny Suave: Davisson going high risk here.
She lands a diving body press! Cover.
Two…Casey makes the save!
Rick Hall: Great last ditch save by Casey.
Casey rolls and returns to her corner. Scott rains down punches on Davisson. She walks back to her corner and Angel Casey tags in. Casey starts forward. Davisson tags McDermott back in.
Johnny Suave: It’s been dead even up to this point.
Rick Hall: Which team wants it the most, Johnny? That’s what we’re about to find out.
Casey with the shoulder tackle on McDermott. Casey measures…and drops a closed fist. Casey back to the ropes. McDermott rolls away and tags Davisson back in.
Johnny Suave: Another quick tag by the Missouri Valley Fight Club.
Casey ducks a lariat attempt and counters with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown. Casey pulls her up and squats and twists her to the side. She flexes Davisson’s back and stretches her abdomen.
Johnny Suave: Abdominal stretch!
Rick Hall: This could be it!
McDermott jumps into the ring and drives a double axe handle into Casey’s back to break the hold.
Johnny Suave: McDermott makes the save!
Casey staggers to her corner and tags in Angel Scott. McDermott rakes the eyes! Bad idea. That just made her mad. Scott levels McDermott with a vicious right hand. Scott pulls Davisson up and whips her into the corner of the ring. Davisson staggers back out and Scott lifts her up. Powerslam! She lifts her up again. Powerslam! She lifts her up again. Powerslam! Scott covers.
Johnny Suave: No! Davisson somehow kicks out.
Rick Hall: Scott can’t believe it. Hell, I can’t believe it.
Scott goes to pull Davisson up again…Davisson gets desperate and goes low. Scott bends over in pain. Davisson pops back up and clotheslines Scott. Then she makes the tag to McDermott who goes top rope…split legged moonsault on Scott. Casey in the ring…McDermott lifts her up and brings her forcefully down with a back breaker. Davisson in and follows with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Casey. Davisson throws Casey out of the ring. Forearm by McDermott to Scott. She sweeps the leg and then takes the leg, turns 90 degrees, grabs the other leg and crosses it with the other, puts one foot in between and the other on the other leg, and then bridges over.
Johnny Suave: FIGURE FOUR!
Rick Hall: And she’s got it locked in good. Angels of Death are in big trouble!
Scott screams out in pain- McDermott really wrenches it in. The referee checks for a tap out. None forthcoming. Scott tries to use her strength to flip McDermott over…but Casey comes in and kicks McDermott from behind breaking the hold.
Johnny Suave: Again, Angel Casey has to come in and make the save.
Casey whips McDermott into the far corner and goes back to her corner. Scott crawls over and tags Casey right back in. Casey throws McDermott off the ropes. McDermott ducks the lariat. Casey stops and turns around. Belly to belly suplex by Casey. Casey picks her up and drops her neck first on the ropes. Cover.
Casey rolls up McDermott- small package!
Two…McDermott gets the shoulder up.
Johnny Suave: Just when you think they’re done for. Angels of Death come back and come back with a vengeance.
Rick Hall: This is why they’ve been five time champions. But do they have enough to finish the job?
Casey quickly to her corner and tags in Angel Scott. Scott with a shoulder tackle to McDermott. Davisson roars in and catches Scott with a shoulder block. McDermott grapevines one of Casey’s arms and puts a ton of pressure on it. Casey tries to power out and get back to her feet. McDermott allows it but then hits a spinning backbreaker. Both Scott and Davisson race in. Davisson tackles Scott. McDermott follows with an exploder suplex on Casey. She lifts up a leg of a face-up opponent and wraps her leg around the other leg before dropping to a kneeling position. McDermott then reaches over and grabs Casey’s other leg and places it on top of the trapped foot. McDermott does a forward roll while maintaining the hold.
Johnny Suave: INDIAN DEATHLOCK!
Scott tries to crawl over but Davisson stomps at her. Keels asks Casey if she gives up. Casey screams no.
Rick Hall: Oh. She’s got nowhere to go.
Johnny Suave: Davisson has Scott trapped. Angel Casey has got to find a way out.
Casey desperately tries to find a way out. Again, Keels asks the question. Again, Casey screams back ‘No!’
Rick Hall: I don’t think she’s going to do it.
Johnny Suave: She’s fading.
Casey’s movement slows dramatically. Finally, she taps. Keels immediately calls for the bell.
Johnny Suave: They’ve done it!
McDermott releases the hold and falls back on the mat. Kimber Marshall into the ring.
Kimber Marshall: The winners at sixteen minutes, forty-six seconds and STILL Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions- THE MISSOURI VALLEY FIGHT CLUB!
Davisson in the ring and pulls McDermott up. Keels raises both arms in victory.
Johnny Suave: It was not easy. The five-time MVW Tag Team champions showed us just why they were five-time champions. Angels of Death nearly pulled off the win but in the end, the Missouri Valley Fight Club remain at the top of the Women’s Tag Team division.
Rick Hall: We wondered if the MVFC could turn back the clock tonight. I think the answer was yes BUT Davisson and McDermott showed why they’ve risen to the top of the MVW Women’s Tag Team division.
In the ring, Angel Casey and Angel Scott shake the hands of both Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott.
Cut to a video package for the next match.
-Even though both men are members of the Deplorables, Rah and William Daniels Bryan are an odd pairing. Rah is freewheeling and somewhat unpredictable in the ring. Bryan is a technical wizard and the master of the Cattle Mutilation. Bryan is also still shaking off the leg injury that sidelined him for several months.
Rah!: The Sunshine God
–Motivational speaker by day. Pseudo inspirational deity complete with eclectic entourage by night.
AGE: 36 / HT: 6’ 8” WT: 295 HOME: San Diego, CA
STR: 8.8 DEX: 4.0 CHR: 9.2 WORK: 5.2 INT: 5.8 END: 5.8
ALIGN: 80% Face / STYLE: Power / FIN: Eye of RAHHHHHHH!
Rah’s Followers: Happy Mango, Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy, The BronzeBeach Suntan Bikini Girls
‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan
-3 time PCW Champion. Former PCW Television Champion
AGE: 35 / HT: 5’10″ WT: 180, HOME: Platte, Nebraska
STR: 6.0 DEX: 7.5 CHR: 5.5 WORK: 9.1 INT: 8.8 END: 9.5 (8.5-due to return frm injury)
ALIGH: 80% Face / STYLE: Technical-Scientific / FIN: Cattle Mutilation/Crane Kick
SUBGROUP: General DeBauchery, Al Cahall, Nic Koteen
Cut back to the broadcast desk.
Johnny Suave: At press time, we still do not know who Rah and Bryan’s opponent will be tonight though there are rumors floating around about who MVW may have signed.
Cut to a box where two-time former MVW Tag Team Champion and former High Octane Wrestling champion Halitosis is sitting along with his wife Laura Bergman. Halitosis is bandaged up from an attack that took place after his match Friday night.
Johnny Suave: Yeah, I saw the nasty attack on him by the old guy from Defiance and Dan Ryan. Halitosis told me he needed about forty-four stitches to close everything up but he’s doing fine and flew to Indianapolis early Saturday morning after leaving the hospital. He’s obviously disappointed about losing the title.
Rick Hall: Johnny, it was a great match between him and Max Kael. It was super close, back and forth and Halitosis just didn’t kick out quite in time at the end.
Johnny Suave: Well, we’re glad to have him here tonight. And I think we are ready for our next match, let’s go to the ring.
MATCH FIVE-Rah and William Daniels Bryan vs. ????
Kimber Marshall is in the ring.
Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall…
Crowd: ONE fall.
Kimber Marshall: …with a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first…
Do you hear the people sing? – Singing the song of angry men?
A spotlight illuminates a concourse. The camera pans over and zooms in.
‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ – Les Miserables
The Prairie Populist William Daniels Bryan stands up and heads down the stairwell from the Deplorable section of the arena.
Joining him, ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay walks out accompanied by his wife, and one half of the famed West Texas Adult Entertainment duo Dark and Stormy, Stacee (Dark) Perry. Paige ‘Stormy’ Reynolds also walks out. Bert the Janitor comes out fourth.
Also joining him, General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs.
The camera zooms in on General DeBauchery.
Gen. DeBauchery: You probably heard we ain’t in the take no prisoner-takin’ business like usual wrasslers; we in the killin’ brewskis business…
General DeBauchery takes a bottle of beer and chugs it down.
Gen. DeBauchery: And cousin, Business is a-boomin.
Cahall raises his glass and chugs his beer down. And then there’s man smoking a cigarette in violation of several anti-smoking ordinances…which is par for the course- Nic Koteen.
What appears to be an endless stream of people from the special Deplorable section of the arena all follow Bryan down the steps, down to the floor and to ringside.
Kimber Marshall: And his tag team partner-
Kimber is interrupted by a man dressed in an expensive suit and bow-tie who’s just climbed into the ring. He elbows her out of the way and gestures for Kimber to take a temporary powder because he’s the one who’s been given the honor and privilege of introducing a living deity.]
Announcer Guy: Hit it!
Over the loudspeaker, a buzzing synth sound blares and the announcer guy raises the microphone to his mouth.
Announcer Guy (in a voice not unlike Michael Buffer): Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the sun gods of all creation. He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day. He is the great, fiery globe in the sky, a welcome, nurturing presence to honor the season. He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the 1950s. And just for your reference, he is, for 33 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego‘s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends. But that’s not important.
He pauses and looks out at the crowd as the lights turn off. A small spotlight illuminates the ramp where the BeachBronze Suntan Bikini Girls are standing.
The bikini girls pose on the ramp. Then two large, hulking men carry out a golden sedan chair holding a six foot eight inch, two hundred and eighty pound man dressed in long flowing robes inside.
Announcer Guy: Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight. I give to you…the reason the Earth doesn‘t float away in the vastness of space…the reason it’s eighty degrees outside and not minus four hundred and fifty-nine point six seven…and the reason Brian Wilson wrote all those great songs…ladies and gentlemen…bow down before the Sunshine God…
Rah’s friend and middle-aged folk singer Happy Mango follows strumming a guitar along with the omnipresent Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy.
Announcer Guy: …RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The procession stops at the ring steps. Rah climbs out of his golden sedan chair and prepares to climb into the ring.
Kimber rips the microphone back from Rah’s announcer guy.
Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…
“Sweet Home Alabama”- Lynyrd Skynyrd
The first man walks out with a cornet in his hand. He’s the manager.
When the crowd realizes who it is, they pop.
Johnny Suave: That’s Jackson C. Horne!
Indeed, legendary wrestling manager Jackson C. Horne, host of ‘The Horne Sounds’- a weekly pro wrestling podcast.
Horne strides down to the ring.
Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Rick Hall: He’s signed on to Missouri Valley Wrestling? Wow!
Horne slides into the ring and goes right up to Kimber. He asks for the microphone. She obliges.
Jackson C. Horne: Ladies and gentlemen! I am proud to introduce to you the world’s greatest tag team- please welcome- BOBBY RICKY MICHAELS. MARTY GIBSON-LANE. The KINGS OF OLD SCHOOL!
Kings of Old School
Bobby Ricky Michaels
AGE: 43 / HT: 6’ 1″ WT: 237 / HOME: San Antonio, TX
STR: 6.5 DEX: 8.0 CHR: 7.5 WORK: 7.0 INT: 6.5 END: 7.4
ALIGN: 51% Heel / STYLE: All-around / FIN: King’s Landing (Rollins finisher)
AGE: 44 / HT: 6’ 3″ WT: 245 / HOME: Memphis, TN
STR: 7.6 DEX: 5.0 CHR: 6.5 WORK: 7.0 INT: 6.0 END: 7.4
ALIGN: 52% Heel / STYLE: All-around / FIN: Gut Check
Manager: Jackson C. Horne
Michaels and Gibson-Lane run out. They race down the aisle towards the ring.
Horne hands the microphone back to Kimber. She starts to head for the ropes but her right leg doesn’t move. Looking down, Kimber is dismayed to see Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy hanging on to her leg.
The Kings slide into the ring and immediately attack Rah and Bryan. Gibson-Lane spears Rah. Michaels tackles Bryan. Rah rains down punches on Gibson-Lane. Bryan and Michaels roll around before going under the ropes and out of the ring.
Johnny Suave: Here we go! They’re not going to wait for the bell!
Rah whips Gibson-Lane into the ropes and bends down. Gibson-Lane goes up and over and lands on his back. Referee Ron Martin finally calls for the bell and the match OFFICIALLY begins. Rah reaches down and picks up Gibson-Lane and slings him over his shoulder. He makes his way over to the nearest and tosses him face first on the top turnbuckle.
Johnny Suave: Sunspot by Rah!
Rick Hall: That can’t feel good.
Rah goes over. Leg drop on Gibson-Lane. Rah back up…another leg drop on Gibson-Lane. Rah steps over Gibson-Lane’s stomach. Gibson-Lane’s kicks out with a leg and knocks Rah off balance.
Outside the ring, Bryan and Michaels continue to brawl. Horne lurks nearby but he keeps a close eye on the rest of the Deplorables at ringside.
Johnny Suave: Pier six brawl! All four men involved!
Rah snap mares Gibson-Lane down and mounts him. He throws lefts and rights until the referee starts the five count. Rah stands back up and allows Gibson-Lane to get back up. They lock up in the middle of the ring. Gibson-Lane takes an armbar. Rah reverses out of it and gets his own armbar on Gibson-Lane. Gibson-Lane trips Rah up and sends the Sunshine God falling backwards to the mat. Gibson-Lane comes in but Rah sweeps his leg out and then mounts him again with a flurry of punches.
Johnny Suave: So far…so good for the Deplorables.
Rick Hall: Rah is doing a good job of keeping Gibson-Lane grounded so he can pound away at him.
Rah pulls Gibson-Lane up and whips him into the ropes. Again, he dips down for a back body drop but this time Gibson-Lane pulls up short and kicks Rah in the stomach. Rah doubles over. Gibson-Lane grabs his neck and follows a swinging neckbreaker. Rah right back up. Gibson-Lane nails him with a forehand chop…
[…and another chop…]
Rah falls back onto the ropes. Gibson-Lane rushes in arm outstretched and clotheslines him up and over the top rope to the floor. Gibson-Lane climbs up the corner turnbuckle…he jumps…
Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! Top rope leg drop to the floor.
Rick Hall: Even in his mid-forties, Gibson-Lane still shows that he can do some high-flying.
Gibson-Lane rolls and gets back to his feet. He then drags Rah back to his feet and then whips him into the corner ringpost. Michaels, done with Bryan, wanders over and lays the boots to Rah who’s lying against the ring steps. Michaels pulls out a table and sets it up. Gibson-Lane drags Rah over and puts him on the table. Michaels goes up top. He stands on the turnbuckle. And out of nowhere, Bryan runs across the ring and pushes Michaels off the top. Michaels flails in the air before he lands on the floor.
Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Rick Hall: Rah really needs to tag out here.
The referee starts the count. Rah gets back up and grabs his neck before delivering a floor shaking choke slam.
Johnny Suave: Solstice Slam by Rah on the floor and Michaels is broken in half.
Rick Hall: Not literally, mind you, but yeah.
Gibson-Lane gets back into the ring and forces Bryan back to his corner. Rah recovers and rolls off the table. He’s woozy and takes his time walking around the ring back to where Bryan’s standing. They confer and then Rah rolls back in and then tags Bryan.
Johnny Suave: So, Bryan finally tags in. Let’s see what he can do against the Kings of Old School.
Gibson-Lane eyes his opponent and the two men circle each other in the ring. Lock up…no…Bryan spins around and grabs a waist lock. Gibson-Lane spins and tries to get loose. Then he powers out and turns. Boot to the stomach doubles Bryan over. Gibson-Lane lifts his up and body slams his to the mat. Elbow drop by Gibson-Lane. Gibson-Lane drags Bryan up by the hair. Whip into the ropes. Knee lift by Gibson-Lane again doubles Bryan over. He then takes Bryan by the head and hits a running Bulldog. Gibson-Lane quickly over for the cover…
Two…Bryan gets a shoulder up.
Johnny Suave: First cover goes to the Kings of Old School.
Rick Hall: Michaels is finally stirring on the outside of the ring. The question is how long can Gibson-Lane go before he’s going to tire out?
Gibson-Lane pulls Bryan up and lifts him in the air upside down…vertical suplex. Bryan hits hard. Gibson-Lane covers again…1…2…Bryan grabs the bottom rope. The referee calls for a break. Gibson-Lane takes both legs and pulls them towards him. Bryan goes airborne as he hangs on the ropes…finally he has to let go and he lands hard on his back again.
Johnny Suave: The referee is admonishing Gibson-Lane.
Rick Hall: Yeah, I don’t think he really cares too much about that.
Horne dismisses the referee’s words. Gibson-Lane waves the referee off and again grabs both legs. He splits them and then hits a legdrop over the groin area. Bryan curls up in a ball and rolls back and forth.
Johnny Suave: Jackson Horne is pretty pleased about that one.
He is. Horne claps his hand against the cornet in the other hand.
Rah slams his hand on the mat and yells at Bryan to tag him back in.
Michaels is up to a sitting position and slowly clearing out the cobwebs.
Gibson-Lane again spreads Bryan’s legs apart and drops the leg across the groin area. Bryan curls up again.
Johnny Suave: Gibson-Lane is tearing Bryan apart.
Rick Hall: Remember, Bryan is still recovering from when the SEC broke his leg last year. He might be a little sensitive about that.
The Deplorables at ringside shout at Ron Martin to do something about Gibson-Lane. Martin waves them off.
Rah gets into the ring but the referee blocks him from going any further. While the referee is distracted, Gibson-Lane takes Bryan, drapes him neck across the bottom rope, and pushes down on him with his foot.
Johnny Suave: Blatant choke by Gibson-Lane!
Rick Hall: The referee’s busy trying to get Rah out of the ring and that allows Gibson-Lane to take as many liberties as he wants. Again, the Kings of Old School have been doing this for a long time. They know what they’re doing.
Finally, Rah relents and the referee turns his attention back to Gibson-Lane. He immediately starts the count on him. Gibson-Lane backs away. Bryan rolls off the bottom rope and tries to gulp in as much air as he can. Gibson-Lane goes over and pulls him up. He reaches around Bryan and locks his hands behind Bryan’s back. Gibson-Lane lifts and sends Bryan up and over with a Belly to Back Suplex.
Johnny Suave: Bryan’s in trouble here. He’s got to make the tag to Rah soon.
Gibson-Lane places him foot on Bryan’s neck and again chokes him. Bryan frantically tries to get the boot off him and again the referee starts a count. At four, Gibson-Lane lets off.
Rick Hall: Bobby Ricky Michael is finally back on the ring apron.
Michaels calls out to his partner. Gibson-Lane goes over and tags him in.
Johnny Suave: All right. Now let’s see how much Michaels has left in the tank.
Bryan crawls towards his corner. Michaels goes baseball slide and nails him in the jaw on the mat.
Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Rick Hall: That’s one way to do it.
Michaels pulls Bryan by the legs back towards the center of the ring. He turns Bryan face up and grasps a leg, turns 360 degrees over the leg, and twists it inward.
Johnny Suave – Michaels with the Spinning Toe Hold and Bryan is in a world of hurt!
Finally, Rah charges into the ring and clubs Michaels in the back with a right hand. Michaels releases the hold and staggers into the corner.
Rick Hall: Rah finally had enough and just blew up Michaels.
This brings Gibson-Lane into the fray and he faces off with Rah. They start throwing haymakers in the center of the ring.
Bryan tries to get to the ropes. She’s intercepted by Michaels who hits er with another baseball slide.
Rah rakes Gibson-Lane’s eyes. He takes Gibson-Lane by the arm and whips him into the corner turnbuckle.
Michaels kneels behind Bryan and grabs a hold of one of his arms, bending it backwards overhead, and locking his wrist into Michaels’s armpit. Michaels wraps a free arm under Bryan’s chin, puts the other arm through the arch created by the trapped arm, and locks his hands. He squeezes the opponent’s neck, causing pressure.
Johnny Suave: That’s a Arm-Hook Sleeper from Michaels!
Rick Hall: But Rah is right there.
Rah kicks Michaels in the back of the head. The sleeper is released and Michaels topples over on his side. Rah grabs Michaels and lifts him to his feet. He whips Michaels into the corner where he collides with Gibson-Lane. Rah then takes off for a splash. Michaels ducks. Gibson-Lane spews a green mist into Rah’s eyes.
Johnny Suave: GREEN MIST! GREEN MIST!
Rick Hall: That’s an old school move if I’ve ever seen one. Rah’s been blinded and that’s not a good thing.
Rah is whipped into the ropes by Gibson-Lane. Horne whaps him in the back of the head with the cornet.
Johnny Suave: HORNE JUST HIT RAH WITH THE CORNET!
Rah staggers forward. Michaels lifts the knee hits the Kings Old School Landing. Rah hits the mat.
Johnny Suave: KINGS OLD SCHOOL LANDING!
Rick Hall: THAT SHOULD DO IT!
Michaels covers and hooks the leg…1…2…3. The referee calls for the bell.
Johnny Suave – THAT’S IT. THE KINGS OF OLD SCHOOL HAVE WON THE MATCH.
Kimber Marshall now in the ring to announce the result.
Kimber Marshall – Your winners at fifteen minutes and forty-nine seconds, THE KINGS OF OLD SCHOOL!
Horne in the ring to congratulate the Kings of Old School.
Johnny Suave: So. The Kings of Old School return to pro wrestling and pick up a nice win here at the American Heartland pay per view.
Rick Hall: And the fans also got to see the return of Jackson C. Horne to the squared circle. He ended up playing a key role at the end of the match.
Johnny Suave: Hold on. Horne has a microphone.
Cut back to Horne in the ring.
Jackson C. Horne: Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. This is what pro wrestling is about. You’re not going to find the outlaw, hardcore bullshit here at Missouri Valley Wrestling. You will see great wrestlers who actually know how to wrestle.
Bobby Ricky Michaels whispers something to Horne.
Jackson C. Horne: Oh. Except for that Ultratron-5.1 asshole- that’s just outlaw, mud show, play wrestling bullshit.
Horne starts to leave but stops.
Jackson C. Horne: Oh. One more thing. Scott Stevens. If you’re in the building tonight and if you want to get serious about getting back into the game, here’s my card.
Horne drops his business card on the mat and exits.
Johnny Suave: Five matches down. Five matches to go including the big three MVW title matches. We’ll be back Tuesday night with the rest of the American Heartland PPV.