2/24/19-Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents: Sunday Night Wrestling

LAST WEEK ON SUNDAY NIGHT WRESTLING
Things went from bad to worse for the SEC the night before after MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell, Kirk Walstreit, and P.M.C. Banks issued an open challenge. The Southern Boys: ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller, ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams answer the call and proceed to destroy the SEC in the subsequent match.

Average Joe defeats Billy Zaine in a match of Titanic proportion.

Blair Moise gets scoop when ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann talks to her about the SEC’s problems. CSPN’s CEO Mark Splitter? Not happy (something about an exclusivity agreement). Splitter reads McMann the riot act later on in the show until McMann confides that he has a plan to pull the SEC out of its tailspin.

The Dork Dynasty invoke the rematch clause in their contract and will face new MVW Champions the Island of Misfit Wrestlers at MVWA 88.

Ultratron-Five issues an ultimatum that he will turn Dawn McGill into a ‘mindless slave’ if he is not handed full control of Missouri Valley Wrestling by the end of MVWA 88.

MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell comes out and says MVW needs someone like him to be their standard bearer and says fans are lying to themselves if they think for one second Ray McAvay will leave MVWA 88 as the champion.

Blackwell defeats A. Tom Bomb of Weapons of Mass Destruction in the main event with help from the SEC.

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new-mvw-logo

Missouri Valley Wrestling
Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday February 24th, 2019
Taped at MVW Television Studios
St. Louis, Missouri

Announcers:
Thunderbolt Smith
‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall

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Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall welcome everyone to Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Sunday Night Wrestling.

Thunderbolt Smith: This is the go home show before next week’s MVWA 88. We know ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell will defend his MVW Title against ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay. We know Tag Team Champions the Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis will meet the former champions the Dork Dynasty. Tonight, we will find out who will meet in the number one contender’s match for the Women’s title.

Rick Hall: That’s right Thunderbolt. We will have the match later on tonight that actually took place last night in Enid, Oklahoma. How did we get here? Last week, this happened…

VIDEO: Last week’s Sunday Night Wrestling

During the match between ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot, after Carrigan tosses Harlot to the outside Lisa Barbosa-Stevens hits the ring and attacks her. Yosemite Samantha and the Hanson Sisters then attack all three women and chaos ensues.

Rick Hall: So after the Sheline Carrigan-Lani Harlot match broke down with the run-ins from Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and Yosemite Samantha, MVW CEO Jill Berg came to the ring and this is what she said…

VIDEO: Last week’s Sunday Night Wrestling

Berg paces back and forth.

Jill Berg: I’ve got a plan. Next Saturday night at the Chisholm Trail Coliseum in Enid, Oklahoma…the main event will be a special tag team match with the winning team facing each other at MVWA 88. Now, who should be on what team?

Berg chooses the teams. She says since Harlot and Yosemite Samantha are upset that Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens are ‘jumping the line’, they will be a team and Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens will make up the other team. The winners meet at MVWA 88. The winner of that match will face Christa Carmondy for the Women’s title on March 16th at the Missouri Valley Wrestling house show in Jamestown, South Dakota.

Thunderbolt Smith: So tonight’s main event will be last night’s match between Yosemite Samantha and ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot versus ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens. The winning team will then face each other next week at MVWA 88 with the winner getting MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy two weeks later.

Rick Hall: The team that can find a way to work together will probably win the match.

Thunderbolt runs through tonight’s show:
-Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy, who does not wrestle at MVWA 88, will be in action tonight.
-Ultratron-Five’s ultimatum is answered
-MVW Champion ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell and ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay are here.
-MVW Tag Team Champions The Island of Misfit Wrestlers and their MVWA 88 opponents The Dork Dynasty are also here.

MATCH #1/NON-TITLE MATCH: Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy © vs. Maxie Perry
Maxie Perry is already in the ring.

*“Hey You”- Bachman Turner Overdrive*

Thunderbolt Smith: And speaking of Christa Carmondy…

The MVW Women’s champion walks out holding up her title belt.   Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring to introduce Carmondy.

Christa Carmondy
AGE: 27 / HT: 5′ 9″ WT: 150 / HOME: St. Louis, MO
FIN: Mean Girl Crush

Rick Hall: Christa Carmondy is sitting in the catbird seat as her rivals have completely taken turns destroying each other over the past couple weeks. She’s going to have a ringside seat next week at MVWA 88 at the war that will commence as the new number one contender and her opponent March 16th is determined.

Thunderbolt Smith: Referee Ron Martin in the ring and he calls for the bell.

*DING-DING*

Carmondy and Perry circle. Perry lunges. Carmondy slides to the side. Irish whip by the women’s champion, Christa drop toeholds Perry and brings her down. Christa wrenches a hammerlock and then lets Perry back to her feet. Carmondy shifts to a facelock. Perry reverses but Carmondy sweeps her off her feet. Cover. One…Two…Perry kicks out. Carmondy rear mounts but Perry slips out and gets an armlock. Christa gets her arm free and pulls Perry into another hammerlock. She gets the free arm and brings Perry over. Cover, one…two…Perry gets the shoulder up. Carmondy gets up and gets a headlock. Perry tries but can’t power out. But Perry reverses…Carmondy fights out with body shots. Perry powers out but Carmondy runs her over.

Carmondy slingshot DDTs Perry! Cover, One…Two…Perry kicks out. Carmondy drags Perry and throw right hands that stagger Perry again and again. Carmondy with a clothesline. She rushes in but Perry catches Carmondy with a fireman’s carry. The champion slips out…steps back…nails Perry with a superkick. But that’s not all. Carmondy pulls Perry up…sets her…and plants her with the Mean Girl Crush. Cover. One…two…THREE!

*DING-DING-DING*

Kimber Marshall in the ring.

WINNER: Christa Carmondy @ 3:08

Thunderbolt Smith: And Christa Carmondy gets the victory here on Sunday Night Wrestling.

Rick Hall: That was a nice little workout and tune-in for the Women’s Champion.

Thunderbolt Smith: Blair Moise in the ring to talk with Christa.

CHRISTA CARMONDY INTERVIEW
Blair asks her what she’s going to be doing next weekend since she’s not on the card.

Christa Carmondy: Well, I’ll tell you what I’m doing tonight. I’m going to sit in the front row, grab some popcorn and pop, and sit and watch Carrigan, Barbosa-Stevens, Yosemite Samantha, and Lani Harlot tear each other apart. And then at MVWA 88, I’m going to sit in the front row, eat popcorn, drink pop, and watch the winners tonight tear each other apart.

Carmondy tells Blair she doesn’t care who makes it out. Christa says she’s focused on what’s really important and that’s being ready for any eventuality.

Christa Carmondy: Look. Any of the four women wrestling tonight are going to each present a unique challenge. They’re good and they wouldn’t be here if they weren’t good.

Blair thanks Christa and sends it back to Thunderbolt and Hall.

Cut back to the broadcast desk:

Thunderbolt Smith: We’ll be back right after these messages.

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**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

*BLEEP*-ing with McGill

A package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a campground. There’s a truck with a camper in the bed parked in a forest area with plenty of trees.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky presents *BLEEP*-ing with McGill.

Three men sit around a campfire. The one on the left is crouched down on the ground munching on a piece of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. The other two are drinking coffee from a mug.

There’s a rustling by an old barn where four trash cans are located. All four are overflowing over the top. All three look over and see Dawn McGill with an empty water bottle in her hand. She’s wearing shorts and a tank top as she’s out for a run.

Dawn McGill: Hey guys. Do you know if there’s any other trash receptacles nearby?

The crouching guy snacking on the beef jerky gets an idea. He reaches into his rucksack and pulls out one of those trick cans that sprays out plastic snakes when you open it up.

Guy #1: Hey guys.

He shows the can to the others.

Dawn McGill: Um. You do know that I can hear you, right?

The other two snicker at the idea. The man on the far right who’s wearing a plaid lumberjack jacket points to a rock in front of Dawn and the other guy ‘sneaks’ over there with the can.

Dawn McGill: Okay. You do know that I can see you sneaking up here.

The other two watch as the guy places the can on the rock, with Dawn observing him, and then ‘sneaks’ back to the campfire.

Dawn looks down at the can.

Dawn McGill: All right. I know what’s inside the can. I’m going to open it up. These plastic thingys are going to come flying out. And then I’m going to have to do something really bad to you guys.

The three campers simply stare at her.

Dawn sighs.

Dawn McGill: Okay…fine.

She opens the can. Two plastic snakes fly out and the campers begin to laugh. Dawn gives out a ‘look’ that said ‘seriously?’ She exhales, turns, and runs into the woods.

The three campers scurry towards their camper just as Dawn comes back out with a rather ominous looking weapon in hand.

Guy #2 (panicked shout): OH *BLEEP*, SHE’S GOT AN RPG!

Guy #1: AN RPG?

Guy #3 (even more panicked): RUN!

As the campers veer off into the woods, Dawn smiles…aims…and fires the Rocket Propelled Gernade into the camper and blows it up.

Final scene: a package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky superimposed over the burning truck and the debris field around it.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. Feed your irrationally foolish side.

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MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING ON THE ROAD:
March 1st – Genesis Convention Center / Gary, IN
March 2nd – MVWA 88 @ Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN

-MAIN EVENT/MVW TITLE MATCH: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Ray McAvay
-WOMEN’S TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH: TBD
-TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Island of Misfit Wrestlers © vs. The Dork Dynasty
March 8th – United Wireless Center / Dodge City, KS
March 9th – Tony’s Pizza Events Center / Salina, KS
March 10th – Hartman Arena / Park City, KS
March 16th – Jamestown Civic Center / Jamestown, SD
March 22nd – Silverstein Eye Centers Arena / Independence, MO
March 23rd – Qwest Center Omaha / Omaha, NE
March 24th – Sanford Pentagon / Sioux Falls, SD
March 30th – Mayo Civic Center / Rochester, MN

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DORK DYNASTY PROMO
Leonard and Sheldon Robertson are backstage. Leonard has a bushy long beard and green and black military khakis on. Sheldon has a neatly trimmed long beard with green and black military khakis.

Leonard tells Sheldon that this is where they ‘cut a promo’ in wrestling parlance and talk about their upcoming match with the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. Sheldon refuses.

Sheldon Robertson: It’s pandering to the lowest common denominator.

Leonard tries to explain that a promo is done to give the wrestling fans a window into their mind and thoughts before a big match. Sheldon says he doesn’t need to give lessor minds a window into his and will prefer to do his talking in the ring.

They bicker for a few more seconds. Leonard tries one more time to get Sheldon to do a promo.

Sheldon Robertson: And I’m telling you it’s pandering…undignified…and bite me.

Leonard throws up his hands and blows into a duck call.

Cut to:

RAY McAVAY INTERVIEW
Blair Moise has ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay with her.

Blair Moise: Ray, we’ve been here before.

Ray agrees. McAvay tells Blair she know what fans expect from him? Show up. Punch in. Shut Up. Get to work. McAvay’s not afraid to work hard, work out even harder, and then eat up a big plate of red meat and do a few shots at Mullet John’s Strip Club and Beer, Bait, and Ammo Store. Then he talks about his opponent, MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell.

Ray McAvay: Charlie? We’ve been down this road before. MVWA 88. Steel cage match. No interference. No weapons. Just you and me. This is the way to finish this…once and for all.

Blair asks if win or lose, will Ray remain in MVW? Ray says yes.

Ray McAvay: Look. I know time isn’t on my side. The past four years have been a blessing. As long as I’m having fun and I can still go, I’ll be here. I’m not planning on going anywhere.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Thunderbolt Smith: Interesting about Ray. He’s had quite the late career revival after being a journeyman wrestler for several years.

Rick Hall: Yeah, Ray was almost out of pro wrestling until Dawn McGill rescued him from the scrap heap in 2015 and took him to High Octane Wrestling. With McGill’s help…and McAvay will be the first one to shout to the world just how much Dawn made him into the wrestler he is today, Ray turned into a very good wrestler and at the end of HOW’s run won the World Title at War Games in the summer of 2017.

Thunderbolt Smith: Ironically, Charlie Blackwell kicked off his career with Dawn McGill’s help in Dream Wrestling Federation back in 2009. He’s slowly built his career over the years. Found his footing in PCW in the mid-2010’s and came into his own over the past couple years. Charlie’s backstage with a very busy Blair Moise right now.

Cut to:

CHARLIE BLACKWELL INTERVIEW
Blair has Charlie Blackwell in the back.

Blair Moise: Charlie, you heard what Ray McAvay just said. How do you respond?

Blackwell agrees that Ray works hard and has done more with less than most ordinary, average wrestlers do in their career. Charlie says he’s not ordinary or average. He has talent. He has ability. He has it.

Charlie Blackwell: I am ‘Charlie Wrestling.’ Ray McAvay is the past. He is the embodiment of days gone by. I am the alpha and omega and the future of Missouri Valley Wrestling. Ray’s had his day. He’s had a great career. But at MVWA 88, I am going to prove to the world that I am the best wrestler in MVW bar none.

Blair slips in a question about the ongoing problems with the Sports Entertainment Corporation. Charlie blows the question off.

Charlie Blackwell: I am focused on one thing and one thing only- defeating Ray McAvay at MVWA 88.

Cut back to the broadcast desk:

Thunderbolt Smith: Charlie Blackwell is focused.

Rick Hall: Blackwell and McAvay in a steel cage. Hold on to your hats.

Thunderbolt then sends it to the ring because Ultratron-Five and Dawn McGill are there. Why?

VIDEO: Last week’s Sunday Night Wrestling

Inside Ultratron-Five’s lair, Dawn McGill’s strapped down to a long board with a three quart stainless steel strainer (purchased from a local grocery store) plopped down on the top of her head with the ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-Five menacingly hovering above her.

‘Wires’ extend from the stainless steel strainer to an obviously fake computer board that Ultratron-Five has McGill ‘attached’ to.

Ultratron-Five (cold, metallic voice): Seven weeks ago, I made you into my valet in order to facilitate the takeover of Missouri Valley Wrestling. Seven weeks later, I am no closer to reaching my destiny.

McGill stares straight ahead.

Ultratron-Five: Hear me now, Jill Berg. Ruler of this pathetic company. If Ultratron-Five is not handed full control of Missouri Valley Wrestling by the end of MVWA 88…

Dawn rolls her eyes and glances over at Ultratron-Five as he pulls down on the lever. The ‘machine’ starts (think uber-cheesy electronic sound effects you probably haven’t heard since the 1980’s) and Dawn…after missing a couple beats…stiffens up as if something is actually happening to her.

Ultratron-Five: … I will turn Dawn McGill into a mindless slave! Ha. Ha-ha. Bwha-ha-ha. Ha. Ha-ha.

Dawn even adds some rudimentary convulsing to make it look good.

Ultratron-Five has a microphone and demands that Missouri Valley Wrestling CEO Jill Berg come to the ring right now.

Ultratron-Five: Puny insect. Come. Come prostrate yourself before the power of Ultratron-FIve.

Dawn stands expressionless, staring straight ahead, next to him.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Pop. Big…big pop.

Thunderbolt Smith (voiceover): And we all know what that means.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd erupts when the video screen shows the door to a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

Thunderbolt Smith (v/o): And here she comes.

The door opens and eight male bodyguards walk out of the dressing room encircling a petite 95 pound woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman, dressed in a smart, dark business suit and heels, is busy talking on her cell phone.   The man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

A huge roar greets the procession as it emerges from the back onto the stage and starts their way down the ramp.

The crowd is rocking and a chant of “JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG! JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG!” fills the bar.

Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as Jill walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.

Berg marches right to the ring. She climbs in and kicks off her high heels. She walks right up to Ultratron-Five. She spins around and snaps off a spinning heel kick that catches Ultratron-Five flush on the jaw.

He drops as if a giant anvil has fallen on him.

Berg turns and grabs her heels, climbs out of the ring, and strides to the back.

Dawn looks down at the fallen Ultratron-Five and shakes her head. She tries not to burst into laughter and attempts to stay in character.

Thunderbolt Smith: And so much for that.

Rick Hall: Jill’s still got it!

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MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING RANKINGS
Men’s Champion: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (SEC)

Contenders
#1 –
‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay
#2 – ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson
#3 – Rah

Women’s Champion: Christa Carmondy
Contenders
#1 –
Yosemite Samantha
#2 – ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
#3 – Sheline Carrigan/ Lisa Barbosa-Stevens

Tag Team Champions: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis
Contenders
#1 –
The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson
#2 –
Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb
#3 – Sports Entertainment Corporation: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks
#4 –
Truckin’ Average Company: Average Joe and Brad Company

Heartland Champion: SNAFU
Contenders
#1 –
Jack Fraiser
#2 –
‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler
#3 –
Average Joe
#4 – ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver

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MEANWHILE, BACK IN JILL BERG’S OFFICE
Jill’s back at her desk after her encounter with Ultratron-Five just in time for ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann to enter.

McMann’s first question?

Mr. McMann: Now that you’ve dealt with this Ultratron-Five farce, does this mean I have a chance to get Dawn McGill back into the SEC?

Jill just looks at him with that ‘tsk…tsk’ disapproving tone.

Mr. McMann: What! The SEC is in a bad rut right now and I need someone like Dawn to change our fortunes. I need her.

Jill Berg: You…have an extremely unhealthy obsession towards Dawn McGill and you…need to let that go.

McMann disputes that he has an unhealthy obsession towards Dawn. Berg says McMann most certainly does have an extremely unhealthy obsession towards her.

Mr. McMann: In what way?

Jill Berg: What about that creepy dream about her you once told me about in excruciating detail?

Mr. McMann: What creepy dream?

DREAM SEQUENCE…aka…McMann’s Creepy Dream

Close up on Dawn McGill. She’s sitting in her chair at her desk watching a slideshow of pictures on her laptop.

Closes up on the photos cycling through on her computer. They are of Dawn in Mr. McMann’s hotel room the night before. She’s in various stages of undress.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann enters her office and puts his hands on her shoulders.

Dawn suddenly stands up from her chair. She turns around and launches her mouth towards Mr. McMann, giving him a most passionate kiss.

Dawn McGill: I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time.

Following an extended liplock complete with Dawn rubbing up suggestively against McMann, she comes up for air.

Mr. McMann: Go on, Miss McGill. Tell them.

Leering down at her v-neck top that shows a boatload of cleavage, McMann slides the straps off her shoulders and massages them with his hands.

Mr. McMann: Tell them what happened last night. Tell them what I did to you.

Dawn gives him a smoldering seductive gaze and turns to the camera with a naughty sparkle in her eye.

Dawn McGill: Mr. McMann-

Jill Berg: OKAY…OKAY! STOP! I don’t need to hear it again.

Berg shudders just thinking about it.

Jill Berg: Just no.

Mr. McMann: Yeah, you’re right. That was kind of creepy.

Jill gives McMann some advice. She says that if things aren’t working with the SEC at the moment with the personnel on hand, perhaps what McMann needs to do is to just clean house and start all over again.

Mr. McMann: Start over again?

Jill Berg: Food for thought.

McMann nods.

Mr. McMann: You may be on to something.

Jill Berg: Good. And don’t ever tell me that dream ever again.

Mr. McMann: Gotcha.

Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.

Thunderbolt Smith: Okay. That was really creepy.

Rick Hall: I’m going to go take a cold shower.

While Hall gets hosed down, Thunderbolt introduces a segment from Halitosis- one half of the MVW Tag Team Champions.

HALITOSIS GOES SHOPPING
Pushing a cart in the fresh produce section of the Costco, Halitosis, still wearing the mask but dressed down for the occasion wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, stops to talk to the camera.

Halitosis: I’ve come to Costco because at MVWA 88 I’m going to have to up my game. My breath was bad before. I’m going to make it even worse. That’s right, I’m taking my bad breath to the next level and to do that, I need some groceries.

Halitosis take a bag of onions from the stall and slides it underneath the basket of the shopping cart.

Halitosis: Finding food conducive to bad breath isn’t hard to find. Start with onions. Then add in your basic garlic and spicy foods and add a little hot spice…

Halitosis throws into the cart a bag of garlic, jalapenos, green peppers, banana peppers, and curry powder. Then Halitosis pushes the shopping cart towards the canned food section.

Halitosis: Next, tuna and fish. Not only are tuna and fish high in protein, they also make your breath reek.

He scoops up several tins of tuna and adds them with the other items inside the cart.

Next stop, the deli counter.

Halitosis steers the shopping cart towards the expansive deli area. Arriving at the counter, he looks in the open glass showcase for the especially stenchy cheese products.

Halitosis: Now we get to the really good stuff. As they say, if you want to go French, expect a stench. In France, stink is considered a sign of a delicious aged cheese.

He bends down and surveys the myriad of different cheese choices behind the glass.

Halitosis: First, we’ll get some Brie, Roquefort, and Epoisses cheese. Oh, and some bleu cheese and Stilton too. Did you know cheeses that are marbled or have blue or green veins shot through tend to smell pungent? Of course, then there’s cheese that straight out spell out that they give your breath a nasty air to it.

He points down to another type of cheese inside the glass case.

Halitosis: That’s Stinking Bishop cheese- an English delicacy. The odor comes from the rind and can be charitably described as smelling like a pile of sweaty gym clothes. And then there’s the granddaddy of stinky cheese. Limburger. The smelliest cheese from Germany. Did you know that limburger is made using Brevibacterium linens? It’s the same bacterium that gives your feet and armpits their natural air.

Halitosis lifts his arm and smells his armpits. Then he shrugs and moves along.

A few minutes later, Halitosis pushes the cart with all his groceries through the exit door and walks down the sidewalk leading to the parking lot.

Halitosis: …so what I’ll do is mix this all together into a blender and turn this into a radioactive nuclear concoction that’ll give me all the extra paint peeling, eye-watering, mind blowing fragrance of rotting reekiness I’ll need when Rah and I face the Dork Dynasty at MVWA 88. Dorks? All I can say is this. I’m looking forward to getting real close to you on August 9th. Why?

He points down to the lead lined metal container full of cheese, the onions, and all the spicy foods bagged up in the shopping cart.

Halitosis: Because victory is just a breath away.

RUN UP TO BIG TAG MATCH
Thunderbolt and a refreshed Rick Hall return to set up the big match that took place last night.

Thunderbolt Smith: Four women with one singular goal. They want to earn a shot at the Women’s title.

Rick Hall: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, Sheline Carrigan…

VIDEO: Kearney, NE House Show
Post-match: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens vs. Svetlana Kovaleski

Barbosa-Stevens acknowledges the crowd after her win. She doesn’t see Carrigan coming from behind. Carrigan barrels into her and they tumble under the bottom ropes and out of the ring.

Both women start throwing haymakers at each other until security comes down to get them separated.

Rick Hall: ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot…

VIDEO: Kearney, NE House Show
Post-match: ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. the SEC’s Miley Vyrus

‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot, fresh from defeating Vyrus, gets on the mic. She wants to remind people that, hey, she’s still here.

Lani Harlot: All I’ve heard for the past couple weeks since MVWA 87 is Sheline Carrigan this, Sheline Carrigan that…Lisa Barbosa-Stevens this…Lisa Barbosa-Stevens that. I’M STILL HERE!

Rick Hall: And Yosemite Samantha.

VIDEO: Last week’s Sunday Night Wrestling

The crowd roars when Yosemite Samantha races to the ring followed by Andrea, Melissa, and Charissa Hanson aka…The Hanson Sisters. The Hansons are all dressed in Charlestown Chiefs hockey jerseys (ala ‘Slapshot’, wear black thick-rimmed glasses, and wield hockey sticks.

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh here we go now!

Yosemite Samantha throws herself into the ring and hits a basement dropkick on the helpless Barbosa-Stevens (still locked in the White Trash Compactor).

Melissa Hanson whacks Harlot over the head with her hockey stick and breaks it clean in half.

Charissa and Andrea Hanson focus on Carrigan, who’s just managed to pull herself up. The Hanson sprint across and double clothesline Carrigan over the top rope to the floor.

Jaxson and Shayne again try to run in and help Harlot. And like earlier in the match, they pay a heavy price. Yosemite Samantha punts Jaxson in the balls. Melissa checks Shayne into the corner. Charissa and Andrea ‘crash the boards’ and leave Shayne the fetal position in the corner.

Rick Hall: Before the match, here’s what all four had to say.

VIDEO: Backstage in Enid, Oklahoma

Yosemite Samantha and Lani Harlot talking to Blair Moise.

Yosemite Samantha: Look, Lani and I may not like each other. But for one night, we will have a common purpose.

Lani Harlot: That’s right. We’ve been here. We’ve been scratching and clawing our way up the ladder to get to the Women’s title. We are united against Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens who think they can just show up and cut in front of us and take our spots.

Sheline Carrigan and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens with Blair.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Blair, Sheline and myself have had issues in the past…and certainly issues in the past couple weeks since we returned to Missouri Valley Wrestling. But the best of the best rise to the top. Carrigan and me will put our differences to the side so we can rise to the occasion tonight and then we’ll settle just who’s better at MVWA 88.

Sheline Carrigan: Blair, I agree with Lisa. Tonight is a means to an end. MVWA 88.

Thunderbolt Smith: All four women want to be the number one contender. Last night, two women took a step forward. Let’s go to Enid, Oklahoma and our main event.

MAIN EVENT: Yosemite Samantha and ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens
Kimber Marshall is in the ring and ready to rock. She brings out Yosemite Samantha first.

*”Moth to a Flame” – Metallica*

Yosemite Samantha
“The roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest cowgirl who ever crossed the Rio Grande”
AGE: 30 / HT: 5’1″ WT: 105 / HOME: Dodge City, KS
FIN: Shotgun Knee/Cannonball Combo

Yosemite Samantha, sporting a big ten gallon cowboy hat and a holster complete with gun, walks out onto the stage and gives the audience the ol’ stinkeye. With an intense look on her face, Yosemite Samantha marches down to the ring followed by the Hanson Sisters (Andrea, Melissa, and Charissa).

Yosemite Samantha leaps onto the ring apron and removes her cowboy hat and gun holster and leaves them in the corner.

Next, her partner for the evening. ‘The Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot.

*”Queen of My Doublewide Trailer”- Sammy Kershaw*

‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
AGE: 33 / HT: 5′ 10″ WT: 118 / HOME: Magnolia, AR
FIN: White Trash Compactor

Harlot, dressed in a halter top and Daisy Duke shorts, struts down to the ring with the White Trash Posse Shayne and Jaxson.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…

*”Roll the Bones”- Rush*

Sheline Carrigan ‘The Canadian Cyborg’
AGE: 21 / HT: 6’0″ WT: 145 / HOME:  Vilbank, SK
FIN: Canadian Destroyer

Carrigan, splendid in her all red outfit with the Canadian flag on the front, simply walks down to the ring with her eye on both Yosemite Samantha and Harlot.

*“What Have You Done Now?” – Within Temptation*

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens
HT 6’0″ WT: 130 / HOME: Houston, TX
FIN: Toxic Sting

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens makes her way to the ring. She keeps a close watch on all three participants.

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, this is going to be interesting.

Rick Hall: Somehow…someway…the teams have to find a way to work together. And with a possible Women’s title match as the prize, you’d think they’d put all mistrust aside and make it work.

Referee Davey Keels is satisfied that all is good and calls for the bell.

*DING-DING*

1st MINUTE
Lani and Samantha flip a coin to decide who starts. It’s Lani. Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens have a long drawn out debate. After a half minute, both Lani and Samantha charge and hit tandem shoulder blocks. Carrigan is ejected through the ropes. Barbosa-Stevens starts by default. Collar and elbow tie up. Barbosa-Stevens leverages Lani to the ropes. Harlot reverses. Barbosa-Stevens whips her across the ring. Harlot ducks the clotheslines and comes off the other ropes to shoulder block Barbosa-Stevens.

2nd MINUTE
Both women run the ropes and collide in the middle. No one’s giving an inch. Again to the ropes, this time, Carrigan slaps Barbosa-Stevens and tags herself in. Harlot’s distracted and Barbosa-Stevens steamrolls her…then exits after shooting Carrigan a nasty look. Snapmare take down by Carrigan. Harlot tries to sweep the legs. Carrigan jumps over and hits a basement drop kick. Cover. One…two…Harlot gets the shoulder up.

Thunderbolt Smith: Carrigan goes for the first fall and nearly gets the early pinfall.

Rick Hall: But Barbosa-Stevens did not like Sheline tagging herself in.

3rd MINUTE
Carrigan tries for a powerbomb. Harlot slips out the back door and tags Yosemite Samantha in. The cowgirl wastes no time going on attack. She throws lefts and rights. Carrigan deflects most but catches a couple of the punches. The Canadian shoves Samantha back and spears her to the mat. Hook of the legs. One…two…Samantha kicks out. Reverse roll up by Samantha. One…two…Carrigan powers out.

Thunderbolt Smith: She almost caught Carrigan napping on that one.

Rick Hall: Yosemite Samantha will do anything…try anything…to win this match.

4th MINUTE
Carrigan reluctantly rolls over and tags Barbosa-Stevens back in with a loud *SLAP*. Barbosa-Stevens and Samantha trade forearm shots. Barbosa-Stevens knees low and then takes down her opponent with a snapmare. She lays in the boots. Cover. One…two- easy kick out. Simmering, Samantha tries to low bridge Barbosa-Stevens. Lisa slides away and takes the arm and wrenches it behind Samantha. With her free hand, Barbosa-Stevens slams Samantha’s face into the mat over and over.

Thunderbolt Smith: She’s trying to take the sting out of Yosemite Samantha.

Rick Hall: If Lisa can slow her down, I think both her and Carrigan can deal with Lani Harlot.

The Hanson Sisters edge closer to the ring.

Rick Hall: But watch out for the Hansons.

Thunderbolt Smith: Right. But the last thing Yosemite Samantha wants is for the Hansons to get them disqualified.

Thunderbolt then sends it to a commercial break.

=======================

MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING ON THE ROAD:
March 1st – Genesis Convention Center / Gary, IN
March 2nd – MVWA 88 @ Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN

-MAIN EVENT/MVW TITLE MATCH: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Ray McAvay
-WOMEN’S TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH: TBD
-TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Island of Misfit Wrestlers © vs. The Dork Dynasty
March 8th – United Wireless Center / Dodge City, KS
March 9th – Tony’s Pizza Events Center / Salina, KS
March 10th – Hartman Arena / Park City, KS
March 16th – Jamestown Civic Center / Jamestown, SD
March 22nd – Silverstein Eye Centers Arena / Independence, MO
March 23rd – Qwest Center Omaha / Omaha, NE
March 24th – Sanford Pentagon / Sioux Falls, SD
March 30th – Mayo Civic Center / Rochester, MN

=======================

MAIN EVENT (continued)
Carrigan back in. She has Harlot covered. One…two…Harlot gets the shoulder up late. Carrigan tags Barbosa-Stevens.

Thunderbolt Smith: After a slow start, Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens have worked a lot better in the past few minutes.

Rick Hall: They have. It was rough at the beginning but they seem to be trusting each other more as the match goes on. That’s not good news for Harlot and Yosemite.

9th MINUTE
Harlot tries to reach her corner to tag Samantha back in. But Barbosa-Stevens drags her back to their corner- presumably to tag Carrigan back in. Harlot rakes the eyes. Right hand to Carrigan sends her off the apron. Harlot rolls back to her corner and hot tags Yosemite Samantha. She shoots across the ring and slams into Barbosa-Stevens crushing her against the corner turnbuckle. Samantha stalks Barbosa-Stevens to another corner. Lisa tries to fight her way out. Samantha scoop slams her. Cover. One…two…Barbosa-Stevens kicks out and rolls out of the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: Carrigan took a hard fall off the ring apron after Harlot nailed her with that right hand.

Rick Hall: Yosemite Samantha’s not waiting! She’s gone up top.

10th MINUTE
Samantha springboards off the top rope and drives Barbosa-Stevens to the barricade. Rights from Samantha drives Barbosa-Stevens to the floor. But she doesn’t see Carrigan kip up behind her. Carrigan forearm smashes Samantha to the floor. Carrigan slams Yosemite Samantha into the barricade.

Thunderbolt Smith: They can’t stay out there forever. Referee Davey Keels is making the count.

Barbosa-Stevens clotheslines Samantha and dives back into the ring. Carrigan lays the boots into Yosemite Samantha until the Hanson Sisters come around.   Carrigan wisely steps back and allows Samantha to stagger back to the ring just in time.

11th MINUTE
Samantha tries to tag Harlot back in. Barbosa-Stevens grabs her from behind and rolls her up. One…two…Samantha reverse roll up. One…two…Barbosa-Stevens rings Samantha’s bell with her boots. She scrambles to her corner and goes to tag Carrigan in but misses. Carrigan is still engaged in conversation with the Hanson Sisters at ringside.

Rick Hall: Ooh. That’s not good.

Barbosa-Stevens yells at Carrigan and then gets smashed into the corner again. Roll up. One…two…Barbosa-Stevens just gets the shoulder up. Carrigan back on the ring apron and calls for the tag. Lisa tries to crawl to her. Samantha drags her back and slaps on the Figure Four Leg Lock.

Thunderbolt Smith: FIGURE FOUR!

Rick Hall: Yosemite Samantha is breaking out her entire repertoire tonight. She’s going for it right now.

The crowd rises to their feet.

12th MINUTE
Samantha tightens the hold. Referee Keels keeps a close watch on Lisa. No one sees Carrigan climbing up to the top turnbuckle. The Canadian Cyborg propels herself off and splashes onto Yosemite Samantha. Harlot immediately hits the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: All four women in!

Rick Hall: It’s a brawl!

Carrigan and Harlot hook up and throw some heavy haymakers at each other. Harlot ends up on the losing end and is sent through the ropes to the floor. Yosemite Samantha and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens battle it out. Barbosa-Stevens DDTs Samantha and covers. But Keels is busy ushering Carrigan back to her corner and doesn’t make the count right away. Once he does, Samantha makes the easy kick out.

Thunderbolt Smith: Lisa’s getting a little frustrated.

Rick Hall: She may have had Yosemite Samantha pinned if Keels would have been on the spot.

13th MINUTE
Both Samantha and Lisa make tags. In comes Carrigan and Harlot swinging away. Again, Carrigan’s power prevails. Belly to Belly Suplex sends Harlot crashing to the mat. Carrigan turns her over and slaps on the Cobra Clutch.

Thunderbolt Smith: Carrigan’s trying to use her strength to wear out Harlot.

Rick Hall: Harlot functions better in a brawling, scrapping atmosphere. Carrigan’s going to simply drain her energy and set her up for the Canadian Destroyer.

14th MINUTE
Harlot tries to make the ropes but Carrigan doesn’t let her get close. Yosemite Samantha takes a tentative step in but Keels immediately orders her right back out. White Trash Posse member Shayne tries to sneak in but Keels ain’t having it. He orders him to get back to the floor. That allows Carrigan to gain even more of a hold on Harlot.

Thunderbolt Smith: Carrigan is going to squeeze out every ounce of energy Lani Harlot has.

Rick Hall: She is. But it’s also giving her and Barbosa-Stevens a much needed rest.

17th MINUTE
Barbosa-Stevens knocks Harlot off the apron and knees Yosemite Samantha in the corner. Samantha elbows her way out of the Toxic Sting. Barbosa-Stevens goes sunset flip powerbomb and makes the cover. One…two…Harlot in to make the save. Keels again herds Harlot out of the ring. Barbosa-Stevens Slingshot DDTs Samantha and covers. Keels is a little late but makes the count. One…two…th-NO! Samantha just gets the shoulder up. Desperation rake to the eyes by Samantha and she tries to escape. She leaps but Harlot’s not there. She’s arguing with Keels.

Thunderbolt Smith: Yosemite Samantha tried to tag Lani back in but she’s not home.

Rick Hall: Lani’s distracting the referee. The Hanson Sisters have disappeared.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s not good.

18th MINUTE
No one sees Melissa Hanson sneaking over to the other side. Carrigan’s on the ring apron calling for a tag. Melissa cracks Carrigan in the back with her hockey stick and pulls her down to the floor.

Thunderbolt Smith: There’s Melissa!

Rick Hall: And Lisa doesn’t see Charissa or Andrea!

Charissa and Andrea Hanson sneak in behind Barbosa-Stevens. Swing and *CRRACK* Down goes Barbosa-Stevens. The Hansons disappear. Yosemite Samantha figures out what’s going on and rolls Lisa over. Lani points to them. Keels makes the count. One…two…NO!

Thunderbolt Smith: HOW! HOW DID SHE KICK OUT?

Rick Hall: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens took double hockey sticks to her back and somehow kicks out.

Samantha tags Lani in. Lani turns Lisa over. Hooks and bends the legs. Pulls back on the arms. Pulls back on her head.

Thunderbolt Smith: WHITE TRASH COMPACTOR!

19th MINUTE
Carrigan’s out. Referee Davey Keels asks the question and Lisa responds right away that she does NOT want to tap out.

Thunderbolt Smith: Lani has it cinched in tight.

Rick Hall: Lisa’s not giving up. The question is can Carrigan revive and make the save?

20th MINUTE
Again, Keels asks the question. Again, Lisa still refuses to tap out. But she does starts to fade. When Keels again ask, Lisa responds not as decisively.

Carrigan begins to stir.

Thunderbolt Smith: How long can she hold out?

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, Lisa’s strong. She’s a former champ. But she’s running out of time.

21st MINUTE
Harlot keeps the hold on. Referee Davey Keels asks again. This time, no response.

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh, oh.

Keels raises Barbosa-Stevens’s arm. It flops back down.

Carrigan gets back to a sitting position.

Keels raises the arm again. It flops back down again.

Carrigan pulls herself up to her feet. She sees Barbosa-Stevens’s predicament and climbs into the ring.

Keels raises the arm again and…

…it flops down. Keels calls for the bell just as Carrigan freight trains through and blows up Harlot.

*DING-DING-DING*

WINNERS: Lani Harlot and Yosemite Samantha @ 20:50 (Cut to 15:00 on television).

Thunderbolt has to rush through the end of the show. He runs down the MVWA 88 card:

MVW TITLE MATCH
‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell © vs. ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay

MVW WOMEN’S #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH
‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. Yosemite Samantha

MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Island of Misfit Wrestlers (Rah and Halitosis) © vs. The Dork Dynasty (Leonard and Sheldon Robertson)

 

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About Art Nouveaux

Hey.
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