2/17/19-Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents: Sunday Night Wrestling

-The Southern Boys (‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson/’Dastardly’ Dave Miller/’Dangerous’ Dan Williams) destroy the SEC last night in Lincoln, Nebraska.
-Average Joe faces Billy Zaine in singles action.
-Mr. McMann talks with Blair Moise about the SEC’s troubles.
-‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan faces ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
-Ultratron-Five appears
-Main Event: MVW Champion ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell in action against A. Tom Bomb

The Southern Boys (‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson/’Dastardly’ Dave Miller/’Dangerous’ Dan Williams) defeated Georgia-Florida State Line and Mr. Wrestling XXXIV- after the match, Dickinson confirms he’s shooting for the MVW title and Miller/Williams have their sights set on the tag belts.

Mr. McMann gets rough treatment during an interview with…CSPN? Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris fire pointed questions at McMann about the flagging SEC forces.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens defeated Elaine Brazier. Afterwards, Barbosa-Stevens says she came back to MVW because she missed competition, fans, and most of all- the MVW Women’s title. She gets blindsided by rival ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and eats a Canadian Destroyer.

Yosemite Samantha stops by to make it clear that Barbosa-Stevens and Carrigan are cutting in line and she’s not going anywhere.

‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay defeated ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-Five who’s managed coincidentally managed by McAvay’s ex-wife Dawn McGill.

Post-match, McAvay calls out Charlie Blackwell and proposes a steel cage match for their MVWA 88 match. Blackwell accepts. MVW CEO Jill Berg makes it so.

With Barbosa-Stevens, Carrigan, and Yosemite Samantha fighting amongst themselves to become the next #1 contender, MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy says she’s in a nice place.

SNAFU defeated Average Joe to become the new Heartland champion.



Inside the ring: the full contingent of the Sports Entertainment Corporation. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. ‘Mouthpiece of the SEC’ Phil Finebaum. MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell. Kirk Walstreit. P.M.C. Banks. Plus, Miley Vyrus and ‘Pop Songstress’ Taylor Switt.

Blackwell gets on the microphone and says it’s time for the SEC to flex their muscles again. He puts out an open challenge for any team in the dressing room to come out and face them in a six man tag team match.

*“White Trash” – Chris Janson*

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson “The 330 Pound Southern Brawler” (Southern Boys)
AGE: 37 / HT: 6′ 1″  WT: 330 / HOME: Troy, AL

FIN: High Crossbody into a Powerbomb

Dickinson makes his way towards the ring.

*“Everlong” – Foo Fighters*

‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller (Southern Boys)
AGE: 28 / HT: 6’ 0” WT: 240 / HOME: Columbus, GA

FIN: Southern Cross

Miller walks to the ring.

*“Screw You, We’re From Texas”- Ray Wylie Hubbard*

‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams (Southern Boys)
AGE: 42 / HT: 6’ 2” WT: 252 / HOME: Wemberly, TX

FIN: Devil’s Triangle (Triangle Choke)

Williams walks down and joins Dickinson and Miller in the ring.

The SEC’s Blackwell, Walstreit, and Banks take fighting stances. The Southern Boys high-five each other and crash the ring.

Various film clips of Dickinson, Miller, Williams annihilating the SEC.

Dickinson powerbombs Blackwell. Miller takes out Walstreit. Williams chokes out Banks with the Devil’s Triangle.

Mr. McMann shouts at the Southern Boys and then pleads with referee Brent Payson to stop the match. Finebaum is laying on the floor after getting taken out by Miller several minutes before.

Taylor Switt and her loaded guitar inexplicatively jumps into the ring- her guitar leaving a trail of white power because it’s been overfilled…………………again. Dickinson turns and meets her. He swipes the guitar. Switt runs for the hills. Dickinson turns and potatoes Blackwell with the guitar- white powder explodes all over the ring.



Missouri Valley Wrestling
Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday February 17th, 2019
Taped at MVW Television Studios
St. Louis, Missouri

Thunderbolt Smith
‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall


Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall welcome everyone to Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Sunday Night Wrestling.

Thunderbolt Smith: So as you saw at the outset. What’s been a miserable few weeks for the SEC got even worse last night when they were obliterated by the Southern Boys.

Rick Hall: The SEC is in crisis Thunderbolt. Lots of messages were sent last night. The biggest one was the one ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson sent one ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell aka…the MVW Champion. Dickinson put a marker down that once Blackwell is finished with Ray McAvay that he intends to be the next one in line.

Thunderbolt agrees and then does a quick rundown of the show.

-We will hear from ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann.
-Average Joe in action tonight.
-‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot and Sheline Carrigan in action
-MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell in the main event against A. Tom Bomb of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Thunderbolt Smith: Let’s go to Kimber Marshall in the ring.

MATCH #1 – Average Joe vs. Billy Zaine
Kimber is in the ring and ready to roll.

Kimber Marshall: Our first match tonight is one fall…

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: Representing Truckin’ Average Company…

Valet/Manager Tequila Sheila comes out next to her theme music.

‘Tequila Sheila’- Bobby Bare

‘Pour me another…tequila…

Sheila twirls around as the crowd shouts out: ‘SHEILA!”

Brad Company and Ken Worth-American Trucker appear first.

Average Joe
HT: 6′ 2″ WT: 220 / HOME: Defiance, OH
FIN: Average Slam

All three men shake hands and walk down to the ring.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…

Billy Zaine
HT: 5’10” WT: 175 / HOME: Pittsburgh, PA

Zaine starts down to the ring dressed like the character Caladon Hockley in the movie ‘Titanic’- a stylish 1910’s vintage tuxedo with a white bow tie.

Rick Hall: He’s well-dressed, well-cultured.  What the hell is he doing in Missouri Valley Wrestling?

Zaine reaches halfway down and suddenly veers over to the barricade. Suave wonders what he’s doing. He’d find out fast enough when Zaine plucks a young child from the crowd, holds him up in the air, and calls out…

Billy Zaine: I HAVE A CHILD!

With said child…that he has, Zaine takes off towards the ring.

Billy Zaine: I HAVE A CHILD!

Rick Hall: Is he saying what I think he’s saying?

Johnny Suave: He has a child!

Rick Hall: That’s what I thought.

Thunderbolt Smith: The parents don’t look too happy.

The parents jump the barricade and run after him. Zaine hits the ring and shows the child to the referee.

Billy Zaine: I HAVE A CHILD!

The referee just tells him to get in the ring already. He does. The child stays at ringside until his bewildered parents take him back to his seat.

Rick Hall: All right, this Titanic struggle is under way.

We hear a groan from Thunderbolt.


Zaine taunts Average Joe that “I HAVE A CHILD!” Average Joe attacks and they brawl in the ring.   Average Joe throws forearms and uppercuts, then boots Zaine down! He drags Zaine right back up and boots him back down. Zaine tackles Average Joe and they roll around in the ring. Back to their feet, Average Joe dropkicks Zaine’s legs out. Average Joe has Zaine set for the Average Slam. Zaine reverses into a small package. One…tw- easy kickout for Average Joe! Zaine shouts “I HAVE A CHILD!” again. Average Joe fires up the fans, runs the ropes and returns with BIG lariat! Cover, one…two…Zaine kicks out.

Rick Hall: Billy Zaine started off fast early on but now it appears he’s hit an iceberg and he’s starting to tread water.

Thunderbolt Smith: Huh?

Rick Hall: I just have a sinking feeling this isn’t going to end well for Zaine.

Thunderbolt Smith: Ooof.

Pumphandle slam by Average Joe and an Irish whip into the corner. Average Joe charges forward. Zaine grabs the ref and throws him in the way. Ref down. Zaine fights Average Joe off but charges right into a superkick! Cover…one…two…Zaine gets the shoulder up at 2.7.

Rick Hall: Zaine is seriously listing now.

Thunderbolt Smith: You’re making references to the Titanic, aren’t you.

Rick Hall: Yep.

Average Joe drags Zaine up and plants him with the Average Slam. Cover…one…two…THREE!


WINNER: Average Joe @ 3:02

Thunderbolt Smith: Average Joe gets the win here on MVW’s Sunday Night Wrestling.

Rick Hall: That Average Slam literally broke Zaine in half and he floundered on the surface before his hopes sunk to the depths of the ocean.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s oddly profound coming from you.

Rick Hall: That is true.

Post-match, Ken Worth and Brad Company hit the ring to celebrate with Average Joe. The child runs into the ring and kicks Zaine in the balls.

Referee Ron Martin spots something on the mat. He walks over and picks it up.

Close up- It’s a sparkly (and large) Heart of the Ocean necklace. He looks around and slips it in his pocket.


MVW backstage interviewer Blair Moise is usually a whirling dervish of activity at this time…chasing down interviews…trying to confirm backstage rumors…whatever needs to be done. Tonight, she’s outside a dressing room waiting for someone to come out.

Mr. McMann’s voice: Blair Moise. There you are!

Blair does a doubletake when Mr. McMann walks up to her and asks her to interview him. Why? Part of the SEC deal with Corporate Sports-entertainment Programming Nation…or CSPN…is that the SEC exclusively talks to CSPN and CSPN only.

Blair Moise: Um…sure!

Blair asks the obvious question- what the hell happened last night?

McMann says it’s not just last night. It’s been going on for awhile and he’s just about had enough of it.

Mr. McMann: There’s a lot of people in the SEC locker room being paid good money who are producing sub-standard performances in the ring. I’m tired of it and I’m going to do something about it.

CUT TO: CSPN’s area.

CSPN CEO Mark Splitter is spitting nails watching Blair interview McMann on the in house monitor. Anderson and Morris are also pissed.

Reese Anderson: He’s only supposed to talk with us!

CUT BACK: Blair and McMann.

Blair asks why he’s come out to speak with her tonight.

Mr. McMann: After last week, I decided if I’m going to get roasted over the coals by the in-house media I might as well come out and let you ask me questions, too.

CUT BACK: Thunderbolt and Hall

Thunderbolt calls the SEC a dysfunctional mess. Hall agrees.



Regressive Insurance Commercial

[Shot in black and white, the commercial starts out in an old fashioned kitchen right out of the 1950’s. Dawn McGill, wearing an arch-typical 1950’s red dress with white ruffles and sporting a 1950’s bouffant hair style, sits at the kitchen table with an antique adding machine to her right. She looks the part of the stereotypical happy suburban housewife, complete with big, pearly smile, as she sifts through the monthly bills.]

Announcer: The secret to a happy home in these modern times is a housewife who’s in control of the finances.

[McGill glances up and looks straight at the camera.]

Dawn McGill (in an extremely pleasant voice): Actually, any wife, husband, or human person could use Regressive Insurance’s ‘Set Your Own Price’ magic marker…

[Dawn holds up the giant, prop-like magic marker aka the ‘Set Your Own Price’ tool.]

Dawn McGill: …to take control of their budget.

[Dawn slightly tilts her face and smiles.]

Announcer: And while the men do the hard work of making money…

[Close up on McGill as her facial expression changes. She looks slightly annoyed now.]

Announcer: …she can get all the car insurance options her little heart desires.

[No check that. She looks a little pissed off.]

Dawn McGill: Men do the hard work of making money? Really?

[Cut to the announcer guy- a walking, talking relic from the 1950’s.]

Announcer (smiling and scoffing): Women don’t have jobs making money.

[Cut back to Dawn. She looks at the ‘Set Your Own Price’ tool. Then she looks at the announcer guy like a tiger eyeing its prey.

[Cut to the announcer guy.]

Announcer: Modernizing car insurance the-*WHACK*

[McGill cracks the announcer guy with the ‘Set Your Own Price’ tool.]

Announcer: Owww. You hit me.

[Then Dawn takes a headlock and gauges the announcer’s forehead with the ‘Set Your Own Price’ tool. Blood begins to flow from over his right eye.]

Announcer: Where’s your husband?”

Dawn McGill: Where’s my husband? I’ll show you where my husband is.

[Dawn takes announcer guy by the arm and flings him into the kitchen table. Then she goes to the cupboard and pulls out a skillet. No, not the newfangled skillets of lighter materials but the old fashioned iron skillet. McGill lifts the skillet and…]


[…brains the hell out of announcer guy with it.]

[The director of the commercial runs out.]

Director: Hey! You can’t-


[Fade to black.]


February 23rd – Chisholm Trail Coliseum / Enid, OK
March 1st – Genesis Convention Center / Gary, IN
March 2nd – MVWA 88 @ Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN

-Main Event: MVW TITLE MATCH: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Ray McAvay
March 8th – United Wireless Center / Dodge City, KS
March 9th – Tony’s Pizza Events Center / Salina, KS
March 10th – Hartman Arena / Park City, KS
March 16th – Jamestown Civic Center / Jamestown, SD
March 22nd – Silverstein Eye Centers Arena / Independence, MO
March 23rd – Qwest Center Omaha / Omaha, NE
March 24th – Sanford Pentagon / Sioux Falls, SD


BACK TO: Thunderbolt and Hall at the broadcast desk.

Thunderbolt send it back to Blair Moise who’s with the former MVW tag team champions.

Blair is with the Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson. Leonard has a bushy long beard and green and black military khakis on. Sheldon has a neatly trimmed long beard with green and black military khakis.

Sheldon holds a massive book that’s so heavy and bulky that he needs two hands to hold it.

Blair asks him what he’s holding. Sheldon says this is the contract agreement they signed for their title match against the Island of Misfit Wrestlers at MVWA 87. He informs Blair that the contract does contain a rematch clause and he wishes to let MVW CEO Jill Berg officially know that he is invoking said rematch clause at MVWA 88.

Blair Moise: So, a second match has been booked for MVWA 88. It will be a rematch for the Missouri Valley Wrestling tag team title between the new champions Island of Misfit Wrestlers and the former champions the Dork Dynasty.

Sheldon Robertson: Um…I just said that.

Blair Moise: Do you have anything to say to the champions?

*awkward silence*

Sheldon Robertson: No.

Blair sends it back to Thunderbolt.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s two matches set for MVWA 88.

Rick Hall: The Dork Dynasty will get a chance to regain the tag belts they lost at MVWA 87. And of course, the big rematch between Charlie Blackwell and Ray McAvay.

Thunderbolt Smith: That leaves the women’s division and that’s totally up in the air at the moment.

Rick Hall: That’s right. On Friday night, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens defeated Major Svetlana Kovaleski in singles action in Kearney, Nebraska. But as has been the norm the past couple weeks, Sheline Carrigan came out and attacked Barbosa-Stevens after the match.

VIDEO: Kearney, NE House Show
Post-match: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens vs. Svetlana Kovaleski

Barbosa-Stevens acknowledges the crowd after her win. She doesn’t see Carrigan coming from behind. Carrigan barrels into her and they tumble under the bottom ropes and out of the ring.

Both women start throwing haymakers at each other until security comes down to get them separated.

Hall notes that someone else spoke up Friday about the MVW Women’s title and her name was not Carrigan, Barbosa-Stevens, or Yosemite Samantha.

VIDEO: Kearney, NE House Show
Post-match: ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. the SEC’s Miley Vyrus

‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot, fresh from defeating Vyrus, gets on the mic. She wants to remind people that, hey, she’s still here.

Lani Harlot: All I’ve heard for the past couple weeks since MVWA 87 is Sheline Carrigan this, Sheline Carrigan that…Lisa Barbosa-Stevens this…Lisa Barbosa-Stevens that. I’M STILL HERE!

Harlot takes offense at being ‘excluded’ and demands a match with Carrigan or Barbosa-Stevens or ANYONE!

MATCH #2- ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. ‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is one fall…

Crowd: ONE fall!

*“Queen of My Double-Wide Trailer”- Sammy Kershaw*

Thunderbolt Smith: Well? Here comes the Queen of the Trailer Park.

Lani Harlot walks out on stage.

‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
AGE: 33 / HT: 5′ 10″ WT: 118 / HOME: Magnolia, AR
FIN: White Trash Compactor
VALETS: The White Trash Posse (Shayne and Jaxson)

Harlot slinks to the ring, pausing to flirt with the good looking guys at ringside. Shayne and Jaxson attempt to flirt with the good looking females with little success.

Thunderbolt wonders who her opponent will be.

*“Roll the Bones”- Rush*

The crowd erupts.

Thunderbolt Smith: It’s going to be Sheline Carrigan!

Carrigan hits the stage and she stares a hole right through Harlot.

Kimber Marshall in the ring.

Sheline Carrigan ‘The Canadian Cyborg’
AGE: 21 / HT: 6’0″ WT: 145 / HOME:  Vilbank, SK
FIN: Canadian Destroyer

Carrigan marches towards the ring.

Rick Hall: Carrigan is a powerhouse, no doubt about it. But Harlot is tough. She won’t give in easy. And if she can get Carrigan in the White Trash Compactor, she can win this.

Thunderbolt Smith: The other question is whether or not we’ll see either Lisa Barbosa-Stevens or Yosemite Samantha try to interject themselves into the match.

Rick Hall: A true wild card Thunderbolt. Barbosa-Stevens and Carrigan have gone at it hot and heavy for the past couple weeks.

Ron Martin is the referee and he’s ready to go.


Carrigan rushes Harlot who dodges and circle away. Carrigan gives chase, but Harlot tries to keep her distance. The Canadian Cyborg charges. Harlot ducks down but Carrigan grabs her by her hair and pulls her closer! Heavy forearm by Carrigan drives Harlot to a knee. Carrigan drags Harlot up and tosses her into the corner. Shayne rushes in. Carrigan scoop powerslams him. Jaxson comes in. Scoop powerslam. Both roll out of the ring to lick their wounds.

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, that didn’t work.

Rick Hall: Whooo boy. Carrigan has been relentless in the opening minute of the match. Lani’s trying like hell to ride out the storm. And if nothing else, The White Trash Posse’s intervention may have bought Lani a couple extra seconds.

Carrigan runs in but Harlot dodges…spins around…and connects with a dropkick! Corner splash by Harlot and then she fires off kicks! Carrigan stays up. Harlot runs the ropes and charges in but Carrigan boots her right down. Carrigan lays in the boots…drags Harlot up…and tosses her to the ropes.

Thunderbolt Smith: Harlot with some offense.

Rick Hall: Yeah. Lani got an extra couple seconds to collect herself…she got some offense in but Carrigan is just swatting her around like a cat playing with a mouse.

Carrigan puts Harlot in a full nelson, then lifts for a stretch!

Thunderbolt Smith: What strength by Carrigan.

Harlot tries to hang in there. Carrigan shifts to a waistlock and then hits a wheelbarrow facebuster! Cover…one…TWO! Somehow Harlot kicks out. Carrigan stretches Harlot back in a modified camel clutch that’s similar to Harlot’s White Trash Compactor submission hold. Harlot tries to hang on when Carrigan gets the full clutch on. Carrigan breaks the hold and clubs Harlot down. She lifts Harlot and snap suplexes her hard to the mat. Carrigan up and goes for a leg drop but misses. Harlot rolls under the ropes and takes five.

Thunderbolt Smith: Can the Queen of the Trailer Park find a way to get back into this match? We’re going to find out right after these commercial messages.


Men’s Champion: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (SEC)

#1 –
‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay
#2 – ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson
#3 – Rah

Women’s Champion: Christa Carmondy
#1 –
Yosemite Samantha
#2 – ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
#3 – C.J. Lewis

Tag Team Champions: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis
#1 –
The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson
#2 –
Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb
#3 – Sports Entertainment Corporation: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks
#4 –
Perfectly Average Company: Average Joe and Brad Company

Heartland Champion: SNAFU
#1 –
Jack Fraiser
#2 –
‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler
#3 –
Average Joe
#4 – ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver


MATCH #2- ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. ‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan (continued)
……all hell has broken loose in the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: While we were gone, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens ran down and hit Sheline Carrigan with a steel chair. Ron Martin immediately called for the disqualification and Carrigan will get the win.

Rick Hall: Lani Harlot’s still on the outside. She’s not going to be happy that Barbosa-Stevens just cost her a possible shot at the title.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens is in the ring and raining down right hands on Carrigan.

Harlot finally realizes she’s been disqualified. She becomes pissed and rolls back into the ring. She takes the chair Barbosa-Stevens used on Carrigan, goes up to her, and blasts Lisa in the back with it. Barbosa-Stevens falls face first to the mat.

Harlot pulls her by the legs to the middle of the ring and cinches up Barbosa-Stevens in a double chicken wing stretch. Then she pulls Barbosa-Stevens’s torso back towards her in an inverted body crunch aka…the White Trash Compacter.

The crowd roars when Yosemite Samantha races to the ring followed by Andrea, Melissa, and Charissa Hanson aka…The Hanson Sisters. The Hansons are all dressed in Charlestown Chiefs hockey jerseys (ala ‘Slapshot’, wear black thick-rimmed glasses, and wield hockey sticks.

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh here we go now!

Yosemite Samantha throws herself into the ring and hits a basement dropkick on the helpless Barbosa-Stevens (still locked in the White Trash Compactor).

Melissa Hanson whacks Harlot over the head with her hockey stick and breaks it clean in half.

Charissa and Andrea Hanson focus on Carrigan, who’s just managed to pull herself up. The Hanson sprint across and double clothesline Carrigan over the top rope to the floor.

Jaxson and Shayne again try to run in and help Harlot. And like earlier in the match, they pay a heavy price. Yosemite Samantha punts Jaxson in the balls. Melissa checks Shayne into the corner. Charissa and Andrea ‘crash the boards’ and leave Shayne the fetal position in the corner.

Female Voice: Okay, that’s enough.

It’s MVW CEO Jill Berg…sans big entrance tonight. Berg looks particularly vexed tonight.


The Hanson Sisters, who have Harlot hung up over the top rope, turn and see the unhappy CEO. They let go of Lani who proceeds to flip over the top rope and down to the floor.

Berg states she appreciates that the women’s division is loaded with several worthy candidates to be the next number one contender. But the constant run-in attacks over the past couple weeks is not acceptable. Berg says it stops now.

Jill Berg: Since C.J. Lewis sprained an ankle, this makes sorting this out a little easier.

Berg paces back and forth.

Jill Berg: I’ve got a plan. Next Saturday night at the Chisholm Trail Coliseum in Enid, Oklahoma…the main event will be a special tag team match with the winning team facing each other at MVWA 88. Now, who should be on what team?

Berg chooses the teams. She says since Harlot and Yosemite Samantha are upset that Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens are ‘jumping the line’, they will be a team and Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens will make up the other team. The winners meet at MVWA 88. The winner of that match will face Christa Carmondy for the Women’s title on March 16th at the Missouri Valley Wrestling house show in Jamestown, South Dakota.

Thunderbolt Smith: So to recap. Next Saturday night in Enid, Oklahoma. It’s Lani Harlot and Yosemite Samantha versus Sheline Carrigan and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens. The winner of that match will meet at MVWA 88 to determine the number one contender. The winner at MVWA 88 will face Christa Carmondy on March 16th in Jamestown, South Dakota for the Women’s title.

Rick Hall: Interesting how Jill Berg has decided to do this. This means Harlot and Yosemite Samantha…Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens…are going to have to find a way to work together. And with the heat that’s white hot at the moment between Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens, that’s going to take some doing.

Thunderbolt Smith: Harlot and Yosemite Samantha too.

Thunderbolt does a quick recap of the MVWA 88 card.

MVW TITLE/STEEL CAGE MATCH: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell © vs. ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay

MVW WOMEN’S TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH: The winning team from next week’s tag team match- either ‘The Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot and Yosemite Samantha or ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens will face each other for a chance at the MVW Women’s title.

MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis © vs. The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson


‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann enters CSPN CEO Mark Splitter’s office. Splitter’s face is red with anger.

Splitter demands to know what part of ‘exclusivity’ does McMann not understand. McMann wants to know what the hell was up with all the ‘pointed’ questions last week. Splitter says he was sending a message. McMann says message received- loud and clear.

Mark Splitter: I’ve spent lot of money on you and the SEC and with the exception of Charlie Blackwell winning the title, I have nothing to show for it.

McMann agrees.

Mr. McMann: I agree. The results aren’t acceptable.

Splitter wants to know what McMann intends to do. McMann responds that he has a plan. Splitter wants to know what the plan is.

Mr. McMann: I’ll tell you…but not with the cameras running.

Mark Splitter: I see.

Splitter then kicks the cameras out.

Inside Ultratron-Five’s lair, Dawn McGill’s strapped down to a long board with a three quart stainless steel strainer (purchased from a local grocery store) plopped down on the top of her head with the ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-Five menacingly hovering above her.

‘Wires’ extend from the stainless steel strainer to an obviously fake computer board that Ultratron-Five has McGill ‘attached’ to.

Ultratron-Five (cold, metallic voice): Seven weeks ago, I made you into my valet in order to facilitate the takeover of Missouri Valley Wrestling. Seven weeks later, I am no closer to reaching my destiny.

McGill stares straight ahead.

Dawn McGill (cold, emotionless voice): I must help Ultratron-Five take over Missouri Valley Wrestling.

Ultratron-Five looks straight at the camera.

Ultratron-Five: Sniveling, puny, human insects. I have evolved beyond any human capability.

McGill falls out of character for a moment.

Dawn McGill: Oh yeah. You’ve ‘evolved’ all right.

Ultratron-Five: WHAT WAS THAT!

She’s back into character.

Dawn McGill (cold, emotionless voice): I must help Ultratron-Five take over Missouri Valley Wrestling.

Ultratron-Five: Hear me now, pathetic worker ants of Missouri Valley Wrestling. The hand that slays you belongs to…Ultratron-Five-

Ultratron-Five’s metallic robot outfit gets jammed up and he’s unable to move.

Ultratron-Five: …*BLEEP*….Dammit!

McGill falls out of character.

Dawn McGill: Aw not again.

Ultratron-Five: WHAT!

McGill snaps right back in character.

Dawn McGill (cold, emotionless voice): I must help Ultratron-Five take over Missouri Valley Wrestling.

Ultratron-Five: Hear me now, Jill Berg. Ruler of this pathetic company. If Ultratron-Five is not handed full control of Missouri Valley Wrestling by the end of MVWA 88…

Dawn rolls her eyes and glances over at Ultratron-Five as he pulls down on the lever. The ‘machine’ starts (think uber-cheesy electronic sound effects you probably haven’t heard since the 1980’s) and Dawn…after missing a couple beats…stiffens up as if something is actually happening to her.

Ultratron-Five: … I will turn Dawn McGill into a mindless slave! Ha. Ha-ha. Bwha-ha-ha. Ha. Ha-ha.

Rick Hall: Cool. Love the robot cheesy laughing.

Dawn even adds some rudimentary convulsing to make it look good.

Thunderbolt adds a little pinch of drama.


The Oscar

Rick Hall: Congratulations!

Thunderbolt Smith: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you very much!



“Business never stops.”

Cut to: Men’s Room. Bathroom stall with the door closed. Pair of dress pants bunched up on the floor. The sound of someone busily typing on a laptop inside the stall.

Cut to: Women’s Room. The exact same thing.

“Just because we’re doing our business doesn’t mean we stop doing yours.”

Corporate World Conglomerate Empire, Incorporated

Available 24 hour / 7 days a week!


February 23rd – Chisholm Trail Coliseum / Enid, OK
March 1st – Genesis Convention Center / Gary, IN
March 2nd – MVWA 88 @ Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN

-Main Event: MVW TITLE MATCH: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Ray McAvay
March 8th – United Wireless Center / Dodge City, KS
March 9th – Tony’s Pizza Events Center / Salina, KS
March 10th – Hartman Arena / Park City, KS
March 16th – Jamestown Civic Center / Jamestown, SD
March 22nd – Silverstein Eye Centers Arena / Independence, MO
March 23rd – Qwest Center Omaha / Omaha, NE
March 24th – Sanford Pentagon / Sioux Falls, SD



“Remember. If something bad happens to you- we’ll find someone to blame so you can get paid!”

Extreme Attorneys Felcher and Felcher
‘Seriously Bad Lawyers with Seriously Bad Combovers’


Mr. McMann leaves CSPN CEO Mark Splitter’s office…smiling.

Mark Splitter: If you can pull this off, you will have my full, one hundred and fifty percent support.

McMann and Splitter shake hands.   McMann then leaves.

Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.

Thunderbolt Smith: There’s a plan afoot.

Rick Hall: It’s about time.

Thunderbolt does a quick review of the show.

-The Southern Boys (‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson/’Dastardly’ Dave Miller/’Dangerous’ Dan Williams) destroy the SEC last night in Lincoln, Nebraska.

-Average Joe defeats Billy Zaine in singles action.

-Mr. McMann talks with Blair Moise about the SEC’s troubles. CSPN CEO Mark Splitter reads McMann the riot act about ‘exclusivity’. McMann says he has a ‘new plan’- Splitter is intrigued.

-The Dork Dynasty activate the rematch clause in their contract and will face new tag team champions The Island of Misfit Wrestlers at MVWA 88.

-‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan defeats ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot via DQ when Lisa Barbosa-Stevens attacks Carrigan. Yosemite Samantha and the Hanson Sisters then attack Barbosa-Stevens and take out both Carrigan and Harlot as well. This brings MVW CEO Jill Berg and she books a tag team match next Saturday night in Enid, Oklahoma: Carrigan and Barbosa-Stevens versus Harlot and Yosemite Samantha. The winning team then faces each other at MVWA 88 for a shot at the Women’s title.

-Ultratron-Five issues an ultimatum. If he is not handed full control of Missouri Valley Wrestling by the end of MVWA 88, Ultratron-Five will then turn Dawn McGill into a ‘mindless slave.’

Thunderbolt Smith: Now let’s go to Blair Moise who’s backstage with the MVW champion. Blair?

Blair has the MVW champion with her.

Blair asks about his match tonight. Blackwell only wants to talk Ray McAvay and MVWA 88.

Blackwell complains that the crowd is all for him losing his title at MVWA 88. He’s incredibly annoyed at that. Blackwell claims the fans are lying to themselves if they think for one second that Ray McAvay will leave MVWA 88 as the MVWA champion. He says MVW needs someone like him to be their standard bearer. The fans need him to show them how they can escape their pathetic lives by working hard and striving to be the very best. Charlie tells Blair he’s has to sacrifice and at MVWA 88 in two weeks, MVW will see the fruits of his labor when he destroys McAvay.

Blackwell leaves. Blair sends it back to Thunderbolt.

Thunderbolt sends it right to Kimber Marshall for the main event.

MAIN EVENT/NON-TITLE: MVW Champion ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell vs. A. Tom Bomb

Kimber Marshall: Our main event tonight is one fall…

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: …and is a non-title match.

Air raid sirens start going off.

Kimber Marshall: Accompanied by the ring by their kid sister Daisy Cutter-Bomb and a life size wooden statue of General George S. Patton carved out a hickory tree…weighing in at a combined weight of six hundred and thirty-five pounds…

Daisy comes out first pulling a wagon with the wooden statue of General Patton inside. Then A-Bomb and H-Bomb follow.

A. Tom Bomb (Weapons of Mass Destruction)
AGE: 37 / HT: 6′ 3″  WT: 315 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM
FIN: Atomic Powerbomb

’Hit Me Like a Bomb’- Third Day

Kimber then introduces the MVW champion.

‘As Is’- Van Halen

The arena lets loose with a loud round of boos when Charlie Blackwell pops out on stage. Blackwell is followed by ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, SEC mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, P.M.C. Banks, Kirk Walstreit, ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver.

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, the SEC is presenting a united front.

Rick Hall: At least for the moment.

MVW Champion ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (Sports Entertainment Corporation)
AGE: 29 / HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 224 / HOME: Dallas, TX
FIN: Katahajime

Thunderbolt Smith: Davey Keels is your referee and we are about ready to go.


Collar and elbow tie up. A-Bomb immediately grabs an arm wringer and whips Blackwell into the ropes. Blackwell drop toeholds A-Bomb and takes a Hammerlock. A-Bomb tries to elbow his way out until Blackwell delivers a forearm shiver to the back of his head. Now Blackwell works the arm into an armdrag takedown and then lays in some boots for good measure.

A-Bomb forces his way up and *SMACK* nails Blackwell with the knife-edged chop *SMACK* and a second one.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s going to leave a mark.

Rick Hall: A nice red one to be sure.

A-Bomb throws a forearm uppercut that snaps Blackwell’s head back.   He reaches between the legs and pulls the MVW champion’s left arm down. Then takes the right arm…lifts and slams Blackwell to the mat. Cover.



Blackwell kicks right out. A-Bomb with a headlock. He turns and snaps Blackwell to the mat but keeps the headlock on.

Thunderbolt Smith: Charlie’s going to have some issues with A-Bomb’s power game.

Rick Hall: He’ll need to rely on his technical advantage to overcome A-Bomb’s strength advantage.

Blackwell pokes the eyes and A-Bomb breaks. The champion takes a couple steps back, wraps his arms around A-Bomb from behind, and then lifts and takes him up and over.

Thunderbolt Smith: Nice German Suplex by Blackwell.

Blackwell immediately hooks the leg.



A-Bomb kicks out and fights his way back to his feet. Boot to the gut stuns the champion. A-Bomb follows with a lariat that sends Blackwell to the deck. Blackwell pops right back up and A-Bomb keeps the pressure on with a forearm shot to the back.

Blackwell back kicks A-Bomb in the groin stopping his progress. Blackwell takes the head and spins into neckbreaker. Both men right back up. Blackwell with a kick to the leg…and another kick…and another….another…another…buzzsaw kick sends A-Bomb timbering to the mat. Blackwell covers.



Th-No! A-Bomb powers out. A-Bomb stumbles back into an armdrag takedown. Blackwell takes the left arm and bends it behind A-Bomb’s head while taking a headlock with his other arm. He leans back and puts pressure on.

Thunderbolt Smith: ANACONDA VICE!

A-Bomb desperately grabs at and on the bottom rope and referee Davey Keels calls for the break. Blackwell gets back on his feet and waits. A-Bomb pulls himself up and turns to him. Blackwell launches a roundhouse kick and connects flush on the jaw. A-Bomb falls backward like a tree falling. Blackwell again makes the cover.



Again A-Bomb kicks out.

H-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb rush the ring and attack Blackwell. That causes Justin Beaver, Kirk Walstreit, P.M.C. Banks to hit the ring and a brawl breaks out.


Rick Hall: The SEC will have the numbers advantage if they’re all on the same page.

Thunderbolt Smith: Looks like they are at the moment.

Davey Keels tries to clear the ring. While he ushers H-Bomb and Daisy to the outside, A-Bomb gets a chair and brains Blackwell with it while Keels is distracted. The SEC slip out of the ring as well. Chairshot to the face and A-Bomb is down.

Thunderbolt Smith: A-BOMB WITH THE CHAIR!

Rick Hall: Davey’s losing this match.

A-Bomb pulls Blackwell up and goes to lift him into the vertical suplex position. But Walstreit grabs the chair and smacks A-Bomb in the back with it. Blackwell reverses and lifts A-Bomb up….and over.


Rick Hall: I don’t know where he found that one but that knocked the wind out of A-Bomb.

Blackwell laces his arms behind A-Bomb and then flips over.

Thunderbolt Smith: KATAHAJIME!

Rick Hall: Blackwell’s got him good Thunderbolt. I think he’s screw-

Thunderbolt Smith: A-BOMB TAPS! A-BOMB TAPS!

A-Bomb taps out. Keels calls for the bell and that’s all.


Kimber Marshall in the ring to make the announcement.

WINNER: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell @ 6:28

Blackwell raises his arms and gets immediately flattened by ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson.

Thunderbolt Smith: THEY’RE BACK!


‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams join in a brief three on one beatdown on the MVW champion until Walstreit, Banks, and Beaver hit the ring. The Southern Boys leave Blackwell in a crumpled heap and turn their sights on the other three SEC members.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s going to do it! We will be back next Sunday for the go home show before MVWA 88. For Rick Hall, I’m Thunderbolt Smith! See you next week!



About Art Nouveaux

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