1/27/19-Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents Sunday Night Wrestling

-Island of Misfit Wrestlers vs. Bobby Starr and Willie Idol
-Women’s Title #1 Contender Match: Yosemite Samantha vs. ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
-MVW Champion in action
-The Dork Dynasty vs. WMD in tag team action
-MVWA 87 card revealed.



Missouri Valley Wrestling
Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday January 27th, 2019
MVW Television Studios
St. Louis, Missouri

Thunderbolt Smith
‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall


Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall welcome everyone to Sunday Night Wrestling.

MVW CEO Jill Berg comes out and makes it clear she expects both MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell and the challenger for his title Ray McAvay to stay clear of each other until MVWA 87 on February 2nd.

Christa Carmondy talks about Yosemite Samantha after she was attacked by her last week. Carmondy sets up a #1 contenders match between her an ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin to determine her opponent at MVWA 87.

Yosemite Samantha squashes Tori Thomas. Post-match, Carmondy attacks her as payback for the week before.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann fails in yet another attempt to coerce Dawn McGill to work for the SEC.

The Dork Dynasty discuss their MVWA 87 opponents the Island of Misfit Wrestlers.

Charlie Blackwell defeats Average Joe in a non-title match.

Unable to convince ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin or Christa Carmondy to return to the SEC, Mr. McMann tries to convince CSPN CEO Mark Splitter to give him cash to bring in another female wrestler. Splitter declines and suggests he push Miley Vyrus instead.

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson successfully defends the Heartland title over Average Joe.


Thunderbolt Smith: Lots of wrestling on tap tonight on the go-home show before next week’s MVWA 87 show. We will have the Women’s number one contender’s match that was taped last night in Kalamazoo, Michigan between ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and the up and coming Yosemite Samantha.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, this is going to be a dynamite match. Tessa still feels she’s got some gas left in the tank but Yosemite Samantha has made a lot of noise in the past few weeks. Tonight, we’ll find out it Yosemite Samantha is ready to take the next step into the women’s title picture.

Thunderbolt Smith: Our main event tonight is going to be a non-title match between the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team champions The Dork Dynasty and the always explosive Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Rick Hall: The Dorks are true students of scientific wrestling principles and they’ve been on a good run with the title. However, there’s teams lining up behind them who I believe are ready to challenge them. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers…Rah and Halitosis…are former tag team champions. The Sports Entertainment Corporation…Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks…they are a very good tag team. As hard as it’s going to be to actually earn a title shot, it’s going to become harder for the Dorks to fend off the teams nipping on their heels.

Thunderbolt Smith: As I said, lots of wrestling on tap tonight and let’s go to Kimber Marshall in the ring.

MATCH #1 – Island of Misfit Wrestlers vs. Bobby Starr and Willie Idol
Kimber raises the microphone to her mouth and gets the evening started.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our first match tonight is one fall…

The crowd responds: ‘ONE FALL!’

Kimber Marshall: …with a fifteen minute time limit.

Kimber does a quickie intro for Bobby Starr and ‘My idol…your idol…Willie Idol who are both already in the ring.

And then…

Regina McGill leads her charge down towards the ring.

Next, a lucha wrestler walks out on the ramp.  He is dressed in all black with a giant ‘H’ on the front of his shirt.  He also has a strange greenish haze emitting from his mouth.

‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
AGE: 30 HT: 6’ 0” WT: 195 / HOME: Chattanooga, TN
FIN: Imploding Senton Bomb
MGR: Regina McGill

Halitosis pumps his first in the air and then starts down the ramp towards the ring.  He slap people’s hands along the way and then says hello to a young fan in the front row- the fan promptly collapses when he get a whiff of his breath.

Halitosis then moves on to the next one.  He says hello.  The fan gets a blast of his breath and falls to the ground.

He continues on to greet the fans along the way- oblivious to the carnage he leaves behind.

Halitosis reaches the ring area and continues to greet people around the front row.  Again, they all pass out once they get downwind of his breath and soon, the scene looks like a set of dominos falling over as she goes around the perimeter.  He climbs up on the ring apron and leaps over the top rope into the ring.

He goes to shake Kimber’s hand but the ring announcer bolts for the other side of the ring and tries to keep a safe distance away.  Shrugging his shoulders, Halitosis looks out over the ropes and raises his arms in the air.

Kimber Marshall: And his partner, from-

Rah!: The Sunshine God (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
AGE: 36 / HT: 6’ 8” WT: 295 HOME: San Diego, CA

She’s interrupted by a man dressed in an expensive suit and bow-tie who’s just climbed into the ring.  He elbows Kimber out of the way and gestures for her to take a temporary powder because he’s the one who’s been given the honor and privilege of introducing a living deity.

Announcer Guy: Hit it!

Over the loudspeaker, a buzzing synth sound blares and the announcer guy raises the microphone to his mouth.

Announcer Guy (in a voice not unlike Michael Buffer): Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the sun gods of all creation. He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day. He is the great, fiery globe in the sky, a welcome, nurturing presence to honor the season. He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the 1950s. And just for your reference, he is, for 33 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego‘s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends. But that’s not important.

He pauses and looks out at the crowd as the lights turn off.  A small spotlight illuminates the ramp where the BeachBronze Suntan Bikini Girls are standing.

The bikini girls pose on the ramp.  Then two large, hulking men carry out a golden sedan chair holding a six foot eight inch, two hundred and eighty pound man dressed in long flowing robes inside.

Announcer Guy: Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight. I give to you…the reason the Earth doesn‘t float away in the vastness of space…the reason it’s eighty degrees outside and not minus four hundred and fifty-nine point six seven…and the reason Brian Wilson wrote all those great songs…ladies and gentlemen…bow down before the Sunshine God…

Rah’s friend and middle-aged folk singer Happy Mango follows strumming a guitar.


The procession stops at the ring steps. Rah climbs out of his golden sedan chair and prepares to climb into the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: We were just talking about Rah and Halitosis…former MVW Tag Team champions.

Rick Hall: This will be a tune up to their challenge to the Dork Dynasty for the tag team belts at MVWA 87.

MATCH #1- Island of Misfit Wrestlers vs. Bobby Starr and Willie Idol
Halitosis and Starr to start. Starr pulls an Andy Kaufman and stalls at the start. Every time Halitosis makes a move, Starr sticks his foot in the ropes. This lasts for about a minute. Idol tags in. Halitosis finally gets his hands on someone and immediately goes for the breath of death. But Idol rolls out and skips out of the ring. Halitosis leaps over the top rope out of the ring and tackles Idol. Both men back in. Rah tags and stomps then kicks Idol down in the corner. Right hand to the face by Rah. Whip by Rah reversed but Idol then runs right into a clothesline. Snapmare and an elbow to the shoulder by Rah. Again Rah whips Idol into the ropes and Idol gets a face full of Halitosis’s lethal bad breath. Staggering back across the ring, Rah takes Idol down with a drop toehold. Now he gets the Eye of Rahhhhhhh (jackknife powerbomb) and Rah makes the cover for the win.

WINNER: Island of Misfit Wrestlers @ 3:01

Thunderbolt Smith: Easy win for the Island of Misfit Wrestlers here tonight.

Rick Hall: And Halitosis didn’t take out as many people in the front row as he usually does.

Thunderbolt Smith: Bonus!



February 1st – Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL
February 2nd – MVWA 87 @ Peoria Civic Center / Peoria, IL
-MVW Title: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Ray McAvay, Christa Carmondy defends Women’s title, Dork Dynasty defends tag title.
February 3rdDavid S. Palmer Arena / Danville, IL
February 9th – Eastern Kentucky Expo Center / Pikeville, KY
-‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson defends Heartland title
February 15th – Vilaero Event Center / Kearney, NE
February 16th – Pershing Center / Lincoln, NE
February 17th – Eihusen Arena / Grand Island, NE
February 23rd – Chisholm Trail Coliseum / Enid, OK
March 1st – Genesis Convention Center / Gary, IN
March 2nd – MVWA 88 @ Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN


Ray McAvay does his MVWA 87 promo from the front porch of his home in Fort Stockton, Texas.

McAvay gives MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell his due. He’s on top of the world and has turned his career around with the Sports Entertainment Corporation. McAvay says Blackwell and him used to be like brothers in Les Miserables so when it was time for him to go out on his own…Ray admits that he was a little hurt…at first. But after Blackwell’s attack on him in Oshkosh two weeks ago, McAvay’s no longer hurt. He’s pissed.

Ray McAvay: Charlie, you pissed me off once before and I gave you the wrestling lesson of your life. It was fifteen months ago in St. Louis. You better have Mr. McMann at ringside again at MVWA 87 because when I’m done with you, he’s going to have to throw the towel in for you again. This isn’t about the title. This is personal, Charlie. This is personal.


Thunderbolt Smith: Yes, I remember that match. Ray McAvay was all business that night and gave Charlie Blackwell a good beating.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, Ray hit Blackwell with four…FOUR McGill Bombs that night. If I’m Charlie Blackwell, I would give this pause. McAvay is capable of going to a zone of reference where he becomes extremely dangerous in this frame of mind.

MVW backstage interviewer Blair Moise has Yosemite Samantha with her.

Blair asks her about her big match. Yosemite Samantha says she’s focused on the prize.

Yosemite Samantha: Blair, I’ve been kicking around the independents for ten years now. This is my opportunity. I can promise you, I will not let it slip through my fingers. Tessa Martin. You’re a great wrestler and you’re going to be tough opponent. But you are the next step to get to Christa Carmondy.

She heads to the ring for the match.


Thunderbolt Smith: This was taped last night at MVW’s house show in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Let’s go there now.

MATCH #2 – Yosemite Samantha vs. ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
Kimber Marshall is in the middle of the ring to introduce the next match.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match tonight is one fall…

The crowd responds: ‘ONE FALL!’

Kimber Marshall: …with a thirty minute time limit.

*’Moth to a Flame’- Metallica*

Yosemite Samantha “The roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest cowgirl who ever crossed the Rio Grande”
AGE: 30 / HT: 5’1″ WT: 105 / HOME: Dodge City, KS
FIN: Shotgun Knee/Cannonball Combo

Yosemite Samantha, sporting a big ten gallon cowboy hat and a holster complete with gun, walks out onto the stage and gives the audience the ol’ stinkeye.

With an intense look on her face, Yosemite Samantha marches down to the ring.

She leaps onto the ring apron and takes aim at her opponent.

Samantha removes her cowboy hat and gun holster and leaves them in the corner.

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…

*’Dig In’- Lenny Kravitz*

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
AGE: 32 / HT: 5′ 8″ WT: 125 / HOME: Bowling Green, OH
FIN: Pizza Cutter

The spotlight illuminates the stage. The challenger ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin walks out carrying her trademark oversized pizza box of doom. She wears a white shirt that says ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ on the front.

Thunderbolt Smith: Winner gets Christa Carmondy at MVWA 87.

Rick Hall: Both are extremely motivated. This will be a good one.


1st Minute:
Quick start-both women exchange moves on each other. Tessa Russian Leg sweeps Yosemite Samantha. Samantha back up and pokes Tess in the eyes. Running bulldog by Yosemite Samantha. She stands up and hits a body slam on Tess followed by a split leg drop into a pin.



Kick out by Tess. Yosemite Samantha tosses Tessa out of the ring. Samantha leans up against the ropes and shouts down at Tess.

Rick Hall: Yosemite Samantha’s got that look.

Thunderbolt Smith: Tessa’s going to take a little walk around the ring and regroup.

2nd Minute:
The action slows down as the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ takes her time coming back into the ring. She snaps off a Superkick to Yosemite Samantha. Tessa drives the point of her bony elbow into the back of Yosemite Samantha and keeps on the offensive. Samantha backs up, still reeling from the onslaught. This allows Tess to hit a low clothesline. Leg drop from Tess and a cover…



Kickout by Samantha.

Thunderbolt Smith: The walk helped.

Rick Hall: Tess knows the best way to defeat Yosemite Samantha is to try to frustrate her. I sense that’s her game plan tonight.

3rd Minute:
Tess whips Samantha, it’s reversed, Tessa slides and lands on the apron. Kick to Samantha. Samantha returns the favor. Samantha boots Tess off the apron to the floor. She goes to the outside and pulls Tess right back in. Cover…



Shoulder up. Dropkick to Tessa. Second dropkick. Top rope plancha by Samantha. Armdrag takedown to Tess followed by a roll up.



Kick out. Yosemite Samantha drives a double ax handle to the back.

Rick Hall: Yosemite Samantha is two moves ahead of Tessa Martin at the moment.

Thunderbolt Smith: It looks like it.

4th Minute:
Yosemite Samantha throws Tess down face first to the mat. Running bulldog by Samantha. Russian Leg sweep. Yosemite Samantha goes top rope and takes out Tess. Cover…



Thunderbolt Smith: Tess just gets the shoulder up.

Rick Hall: Tess needs to change the momentum because Yosemite Samantha has an answer for everything she’s trying to do.

Samantha sits down on Tess and takes an armbar. She wrenches on the arm and Tess is in a lot of pain. Then she takes the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’s face and slams it twice to the mat.

5th Minute:
Samantha up top…hits a top rope senton. She hooks Tess’s leg.



Thunderbolt Smith: And again, Tess gets the shoulder up.

Rick Hall: Yosemite Samantha is on the warpath. She’s getting a good head of steam going and that’s not good news for the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl.’

She decks Tess with a right hand. Another right hand. Lariat to Tess. A second lariat and then Tess gets tossed over the top rope. YS places Tess on a chair and runs all the away around the world before hitting the Cannonball. Tess gets driven back into the steel barricade.

6th Minute:
Tessa plays possum on the outside for as long as possible before she gets back into the ring.

Thunderbolt Smith: Again, smart move on Tessa’s part.

Rick Hall: She’s got to frustrate her Thunderbolt or she’s going to get steamrolled.

As if Tess hears Rick’s counsel, she plays matador to Yosemite Samantha’s bull and eludes the hard-charging cowgirl. The more she eluded the hot-tempered red head, the more angrier she becomes. YS finally corners Tess. Tess grabs the rope necessitating a break- which was called by the referee. Samantha points to something- the referee looks- and she pops Tess with a right hand. Tess staggers and falls.

Thunderbolt Smith: Tess probably shouldn’t have fallen for that.

Rick Hall: Yep.




Tess again kicks out.

7th Minute:
Yosemite Samantha pulls Tess to the middle of the ring and locks on the Cobra Clutch.

Thunderbolt Smith: Yosemite Samantha is going to try to wear Tessa down and wear her out.

Rick Hall: This is very smart on Samantha’s part. Tess needs to get to the ropes and fast.

8th Minute:
Action slows way down. Tess tries to power her way to the ropes. Samantha whaps her in the back of the head and pulls her back to the middle. Tess begins to fade.   But somewhere, she gets a second wind and puts everything she has into getting to the ropes. Finally, she succeeds and the referee makes Samantha break the hold.

Thunderbolt Smith: Rick, Tess is in trouble.

Rick Hall: Big trouble.

9th Minute:
Samantha grabs Tess’s arm and goes walking on the top rope. She leaps and hits a headscissors takedown on Tess. Armdrag takedown by Samantha. Cover…



Tess again kicks out. Enraged, YS grabs Tess by the throat and tosses her across the ring. Cover.



Tess grabs the bottom rope.

Armdrag takedown by Yosemite Samantha. Slingshot Springboard Crossbody by Yosemite Samantha. Cover…



Kick out by Tess. Tess suddenly drops Yosemite Samantha with a surprise Belly to Back Suplex. She covers.


Two- Yosemite Samantha kicks out. Tessa goes up top and comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick. Cover.



Samantha again powers out.

Thunderbolt Smith: Back and forth they battle!

Rick Hall: I thought she was done, Thunderbolt. But Tessa Martin dipped into her reserve and she’s got Yosemite Samantha on the ropes.

Thunderbolt Smith: And she’s going to take a time out.

10th Minute:
Yosemite Samantha rolls out of the ring to the floor. Tess takes her oversized pizza box of doom and places it in the corner. Then she rests against the ropes.   Yosemite Samantha on the top rope. She flies. Tess ducks and YS lands hard on the mat. Tess drives a double ax handle to the head. Yosemite Samantha tumbles to the mat. Tess grabs Samantha and sends her face-first into the pizza box in the corner hard. Cover.



Th-NO! She just got the shoulder up.

Thunderbolt Smith: I don’t know how she got the shoulder up.

Rick Hall: She’s tough. Tessa put everything she had driving her face-first into the pizza box.

Tessa spins Yosemite Samantha around. She goes for a Pizza Cutter.

Thunderbolt Smith: PIZZA CUTTER-


Samantha ducks out. Backslide. Cover.





Kimber slides in the ring.


Thunderbolt Smith: Yosemite Samantha ducked out of a Pizza Cutter and wins with a simple backslide.

Rick Hall: That move caught Tessa completely by surprise.   She was off-balance to begin with and Yosemite Samantha took advantage of it.

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh, oh.

Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy comes down to ringside holding up the women’s title belt. She and Yosemite Samantha have a stare-off. Christa points at the belt…then points to herself.

Thunderbolt sends it to a commercial break.



Men’s Champion: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (SEC)

#1 –
‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay
#2 – P.M.C. Banks (SEC)
#3 – ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit (SEC)
#4 – Rah

Women’s Champion: Christa Carmondy
#1 –
Yosemite Samantha
#2 – ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
#3 – ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot
#4 – ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris

Tag Team Champions: The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson
#1 –
Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis
#2 –
Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb
#3 –
Sports Entertainment Corporation: Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks
#4 –
Perfectly Average Company: Average Joe and Brad Company
#5 – Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja: Hank and Tiny

Heartland Champion: ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson
#1 –
Jack Fraiser
#2 –
#3 –
‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler
#4 –
‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller
#5 –
Average Joe


Blair Moise corrals Charlie Blackwell before his upcoming match.

Blair asks Blackwell about Ray McAvay’s earlier comments. Blackwell says he could talk about the fact that he ruined Dawn McGill’s life when he left her for a stripper…Blackwell immediately adds that he doesn’t care what Dark aka Stacee Perry says- she’s a stripper and probably worse for all we know.

Charlie Blackwell: But it doesn’t matter. There’s a huge difference between the Charlie Blackwell who got schooled by McAvay in October of 2017 and the Charlie Blackwell who’s the king of Missouri Valley Wrestling now. There’s a big difference between Ray McAvay before his surgery and after. He’s not the wrestler he once was. He’s going to rely on parlor tricks and Bert the Janitor slipping the Big Bertha to him at the right moment. It’s not going to matter. I am the best wrestler in Missouri Valley Wrestling, period…end of story.

Blackwell leaves for his upcoming match. Blair sends it back to Thunderbolt.

MATCH #3 – ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell vs. Mr. Wrestling XIVIII
Thunderbolt sends it right to the ring and announcer Kimber Marshall.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match tonight is one fall…

The crowd responds: ‘ONE FALL!’

Kimber Marshall: …with a twenty minute time limit.

Kimber introduces Mr. Wrestling XIVIII who’s already in the ring. Then…

‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (Sports Entertainment Corporation)
AGE: 29 / HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 224 / HOME: Dallas, TX
FIN: Katahajime

The arena lets loose with a loud round of boos when Charlie Blackwell pops out on stage.

Blackwell is followed by ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, SEC mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, P.M.C. Banks, Kirk Walstreit, ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver.

Blackwell turns his back and shows off his robe which also says ‘Charlie Wrestling’ on the back. He also shows off the MVW Title belt around his waist. He turns to McMann and nods. Then the SEC begin their walk to the ring.

Lock up in the center of the ring. Blackwell whips Mr. Wrestling XIVIII to the ropes and it’s reversed. SNAFU ducks the clothesline. Spin around…hurricanrana and cover 1…2…NO!!! Enziguri from Blackwell. He hits the ropes hits Mr. Wrestling XIVIII with a hard spinning elbow! Another pinfall…1..2..NO!!!

Thunderbolt Smith: Blackwell quick out the chute and he’s taking it right to him.

Snowflake Suzie complains to the referee when Flack tosses in a chair. She complains even more when Blackwell waffles him with said chair and then skateboards the chair into Mr. Wrestling XIVIII’s face. Cover…1…2…last second kick out.

Mr. Wrestling XIVIII gets a couple moves in. He goes top turnbuckle. Blackwell crotches him over the top rope and hits a top rope neckbreaker. Katahajime. Mr. Wrestling XIVIII taps out

WINNER: Charlie Blackwell @ 2:55

Thunderbolt Smith: Charlie Blackwell with a dominant tune-up win tonight on Sunday Night Wrestling.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is in Corporate Sports-entertainment Programming Nation CEO Mark Splitter’s office…again along with the ‘Mouthpiece of the SEC’ Phil Finebaum. McMann is still trying to talk Splitter into splashing the cash for a new female wrestler.

Splitter resists citing the two million dollar Dawn McGill debacle at the end of 2017.

Mark Splitter: I spent two million dollars on Dawn McGill and all I have to show for it is watching her pretend she’s under the control of a maniacal wrestling robot.

Splitter repeats what he told McMann last week- push Miley Vyrus. As McMann turns to leave, Splitter adds a parting shot that he expects to start seeing results in the tag team division and the women’s division.

McMann’s disheartened. Finebaum isn’t hearing it.

Phil Finebaum: Everything is fine. We are the SEC.   We’re not Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh is no longer an elite college football coach. We are still the elite faction in Missouri Valley Wrestling. People care more about the SEC than they do politics. The SEC is the best faction in MVW. Period. End of story.

Blair Moise is with A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, and their kid sister Daisy Cutter-Bomb aka…Weapons of Mass Destruction right before their match against the MVW Tag Team Champions- The Dork Dynasty.

Blair asks about facing the Dorks. A-Bomb points to a wooden statue of General George S. Patton that Daisy pulls in a wagon. A harsh voice comes out of a speaker in the statue…

Voice of Statue: There used to be this *BLEEP* slung around that the Bomb Brothers couldn’t take the next step. Well, tonight that all changes.  Americans love to fight and love the sting and clash of battle.  We’re going to win this war tonight and win it by fighting and by showing each and every tag team in Missouri Valley Wrestling that we’ve got more guts than they have; or ever will have.  We’re not going to just pin the sons-of-bitches, we’re going to rip out their living *BLEEP-BLEEP* guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.

Blair Moise: Tanks?

Voice of Statue: Er…it’s just a metaphor.  Now, we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy’s balls…

Blair Moise: Say what?

Voice of Statue: Metaphor.  What I am trying to say is that we are going to twist their balls and kick the living *BLEEP* out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like *BLEEP* through a tin horn! The harder WE push, the more wins we will have.  Now, let’s go!

A-Bomb and H-Bomb shrug and exit. Daisy pulls the wagon with the talkative statue and follows.

Christa Carmondy sits in her dressing room. She knows that Yosemite Samantha will be a tough opponent when she meets her next week at MVWA 87. Carmondy says her opponent has a lot of skills but at the end of the day, Christa is the Women’s champion and Yosemite Samantha has to find a way to get the belt off her waist.

Christa Carmondy: Samantha, I will not give up this belt easily. You will have to pry this belt from around my waist. That’s a promise.


Rick Hall: Christa versus Yosemite Samantha will be a hard hitting affair and neither woman will give any quarter.

Thunderbolt sends it to the final commercial break of the night.



February 1st – Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL
February 2nd – MVWA 87 @ Peoria Civic Center / Peoria, IL
-MVW Title: Charlie Blackwell © vs. Ray McAvay
-Women’s Title Christa Carmondy © vs. Yosemite Samantha
-Tag Title: Dork Dynasty © vs. Island of Misfit Wrestlers
February 3rdDavid S. Palmer Arena / Danville, IL
February 9th – Eastern Kentucky Expo Center / Pikeville, KY
-‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson defends Heartland title
February 15th – Vilaero Event Center / Kearney, NE
February 16th – Pershing Center / Lincoln, NE
February 17th – Eihusen Arena / Grand Island, NE
February 23rd – Chisholm Trail Coliseum / Enid, OK
March 1st – Genesis Convention Center / Gary, IN
March 2nd – MVWA 88 @ Hulman Center / Terre Haute, IN


Thunderbolt turns it right over to Kimber Marshall for tonight’s main event.

MAIN EVENT/NON-TITLE MATCH: The Dork Dynasty © vs. Weapons of Mass Destruction
Kimber Marshall is in the middle of the ring for the introductions.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. This is our main event. This is a one fall…

The crowd responds: ‘ONE FALL!’

Kimber Marshall: …with a thirty minute time limit.

Air raid sirens start going off.

Kimber Marshall introduces the Advocates of the American Military Complex.

’Hit Me Like a Bomb’- Third Day

Weapons of Mass Destruction
MGR: Daisy Cutter-Bomb
A. Tom Bomb
HT: 6’3” WT: 330 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM
FIN: Atomic Power Bomb
Hy Drogen Bomb
HT: 6’3” WT: 325 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM
FIN: Hydrogen Power Bomb

Daisy comes out first pulling a wagon carrying a life size wooden statue of General George S. Patton carved out a hickory tree. Then A-Bomb and H-Bomb follow.

A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and Daisy arrive at ringside. A-Bomb and H-Bomb roll in and circle the ring shouting at the top of their lungs.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…

*’Big Bang Theory Theme’- Barenaked Ladies*

Kimber brings out the nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. Penny and Amy come out first. Next, Leonard and Sheldon Robertson appear.

Dork Dynasty
Sheldon Robertson
HT: 6’ 5” WT: 190 / HOME: Pasadena, CA / FIN: Big Bang Theory
MUSIC: “Theme from Big Bang Theory”- Barenaked Ladies
Valet: Amy
Leonard Robertson
HT: 5’ 9” WT: 185 / HOME: Pasadena, CA / FIN: Big Bang Theory
MUSIC: “Theme from Big Bang Theory”- Barenaked Ladies
Valet: Penny

Penny and Amy lead the way as Leonard and Sheldon walk towards the ring. Penny is dressed in heels and a black overcoat. Amy has a frumpy flowery dress on.

Rick Hall: It’s going to be a classic clash of styles. The Dork Dynasty are known for their scientific wrestling principles. Weapons of Mass Destruction utilizes strength and power. This will be a good one.

MAIN EVENT/NON-TITLE MATCH: The Dork Dynasty © vs. Weapons of Mass Destruction

The Bomb Brothers hit the ring and attack.  H-Bomb and Leonard roll out of the ring and brawl on the floor. A-Bomb isn’t messing around either. He jerk Sheldon by the hair down to the mat to start off, Sheldon retaliates by hooking his leg and dropping him to the mat. Sheldon pokes him in the eye and leaves the ring. He shouts over to Leonard that they are ‘scientific wrestlers’ and knock off the hardcore hippy-dippy. The problem there is H-Bomb is ramming Leonard into the steel barricade. H-Bomb then literally throws Leonard over the barricade into the fans.

Thunderbolt Smith: This is just chaos! A wild, wild start to this title match. The Dorks are trying to survive the onslaught.

Rick Hall: They’re not letting the Dorks do anything they like to do.

The referee tries to restore order. H-Bomb drags Leonard all over the arena. Sheldon keeps eluding A-Bomb by running around the ring until A-Bomb finally gets a grip on him. Wristlock. Whip to the ring apron. A-Bomb rolls him back in. Sheldon runs into a hiptoss but he lands on his feet. Sheldon with an armbar. A-Bomb powers his way to the corner and grabs the ropes.

H-Bomb and Leonard finally make their way back towards the ring. A-Bomb mows Sheldon down with a shoulder block. Sheldon misses a clothesline and A-Bomb hits a big boot. Cover…



Sheldon gets the shoulder up. Now H-Bomb and Leonard back in the ring and another pier six brawl breaks out. Sheldon’s appalled again at the extreme violence and castigates Leonard for participating in the brawl as H-Bomb lands right after right on him. Fuming, Sheldon leaves the ring leaving his partner to a two versus one situation. Leonard goes for a flying headscissors, but A-Bomb gets a hold of his head and snaps it over the top rope. H-Bomb uses a handful of tights to heave Leonard out to the floor.

Thunderbolt Smith: Again, WMD have taken the Dork Dynasty completely out of their game.

Rick Hall: It’s not helping that Sheldon is being petulant about the style of match…WAIT! Leonard’s not done yet.

Leonard slingshots himself back in with a sunset flip and makes the cover- except he’s not the legal man in the ring. A-Bomb tags out while in the pinning predicament and H-Bomb comes in and attacks. He covers Leonard but again- he’s not the legal man in the ring. Abdominal stretch by H-Bomb, with a leverage assist from A-Bomb, and they stretch the hell out of Leonard.

Leonard Robertson: SHELDON!

H-Bomb hits a spinebuster and he covers but AGAIN, Leonard’s not the legal man in the ring. H-Bomb engages in a debate with the referee. That allows Leonard to roll out of harm’s way and make the hot tag to Sheldon- except the tag means Leonard is the legal man in the ring- which he realizes after making the hot tag.

Leonard Robertson: Aw man. I can’t catch a break.

H-Bomb leaps over Leonard and knocks Sheldon off the apron. He tags A-Bomb in and both Bombs hit a double 3-Point Stance on Leonard. A-Bomb wins a one-sided chop war with Leonard and tags out to H-Bomb. A-Bomb with a Russian Legsweep and H-Bomb hits a senton off the second rope. Cover and the referee actually makes the count this time…



Sheldon makes the save. He yanks Leonard out of the ring and the Dorks take a time out.

Crowd: MVW!…MVW!…MVW!…

Rick Hall: The Bombs have not allowed their opponents any room to work their scientific wrestling skills.

Sheldon huddles with Leonard, Penny, and Amy until the referee starts to count them out. Leonard climbs back in the ring and immediately tags Sheldon.

Sheldon then takes the microphone.

Sheldon Robertson: I just want to point out once again that we are a scientific wrestling team.  We stand on the shoulders of great scientific wrestlers like Lou Thesz, Verne Gagne, Nick Bockwinkle…and I am head and shoulders better than any of them.

Sheldon tries channel his inner Lou Thesz anyways and use scientific wrestling to counter the Bomb’s tactics.  Sheldon goes for a front facelock. A-Bomb powers out and sends him to the ropes.  A-Bomb back body drops him.  He then pulls Sheldon up by the beard and sets up him for the Atomic Power Bomb. Leonard rushes at A-Bomb- he gets back body dropped.   Leonard runs and jumps on his back.  A-Bomb walks backward and slams him into the corner turnbuckle.

Rick Hall: The Dorks are giving everything they’ve got. But they can’t catch a break.

A-Bomb taunts Leonard in the corner.  Penny comes in and gets in A-Bomb’s face.  He pushes her.  Spiked heel stomp by Penny followed by spiked heel to the balls.

Thunderbolt Smith: Owwwww.

A-Bomb takes two steps back and face plants to the mat.  Daisy, pissed off, hits the ring and spears Penny right out of her heels. A-Bomb pulls himself up and moves towards Penny but Sheldon catches him by surprise with a swinging neckbreaker.  Daisy lifts Penny in the air and destroys her with a Daisy Cutter Power Bomb. She slings her through the ropes to the outside.

Thunderbolt Smith: And that should take care of Penny’s involvement in this match.

Rick Hall: If I’m Amy, I’d be retreating to the nearest bunker right now.

Daisy does takes a couple steps towards Amy in the Dork’s corner. Amy wisely retreats off the ring apron.  Back in the ring, Hurricanrana to A-Bomb by Sheldon. Sheldon then slaps on the Koji Clutch.

Thunderbolt Smith: Suddenly, it’s A-Bomb who needs to make the hot tag to his brother.

H-Bomb stomps on the floor and tries to urge A-Bomb on. A-Bomb uses his strength to turn Sheldon onto his back.



Sheldon breaks the hold and rolls out. A-Bomb makes the hot tag to H-Bomb. Sheldon also tries to tag Leonard back in but A-Bomb grabs him by the arm and the tag misses by inches. H-Bomb pulls Sheldon to the middle of the ring and sets him up for the Hydrogen Power Bomb. Amy jumps on the ring apron to get H-Bomb’s attention.

Thunderbolt Smith: What is she doing?

Amy whips off her shirt.

Rick Hall: That’s what we call a wardrobe malfunction!

Thunderbolt Smith: Intentional…wardrobe malfunction.

H-Bomb stares at Amy and shrugs.

Amy: Really?

Sheldon slides in from behind, schoolboy roll up.  Referee down to the mat.



Thunderbolt Smith: NO! H-BOMB ROLLS THROUGH!

…and hooks the legs





WINNER: Weapons of Mass Destruction @ 13:20 (10:00 for television) / The Dork Dynasty remain MVW Tag Team Champions

Thunderbolt Smith: That was impressive.

Rick Hall: The WMD serve notice to the Dork Dynasty that if they get by the Island of Misfit Wrestlers next week they’ll have to contend with A-Bomb and H-Bomb soon.

Thunderbolt reviews MVWA 87 next week…

‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell © vs. ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay

Christa Carmondy © vs. Yosemite Samantha

The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson © vs. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis

About Art Nouveaux

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