MVW House Show Report
Black River Coliseum
Poplar Bluff, MO
Sunday January 6th, 2019
The final stop of the weekend saw Missouri Valley Wrestling invade the Black River Coliseum for an eight match show Sunday night.
As she did the past two nights, MVW CEO Jill Berg came out to welcome the crowd to the show and promote the return of Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Sunday Night Wrestling. Berg said that most of the show will be culled from last night’s house show in Topeka but don’t be surprised if a few things show up from tonight.
MATCH #1- Missouri Valley Fight Club (Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott) defeated Housewives of Chaos (Svetlana Kovaleski and Dr. Annabel ‘From Hannibal’ Lecker
-Nice little brawl to start the show. McDermott KO’d Kovaleski with the Glasgow Handshake for the win.
Couch Potato came to the ring and got the usual Ring of Honor-type greeting with one small change- instead of streamers being thrown into the ring the fans throw Hostess Twinkies.
MATCH #2- Couch Potato and ‘The World’s Most Uninteresting Man’ Tom Smith vs. The French Connection (Jobber D’Hutt and ‘Obnoxious Sports Talk Show Host’ Dan LeBasterd
–D’Hutt nearly got Smith for an early pinfall in the first thirty seconds. But then he tired five seconds later and it was all downhill from there. The match was thrown out when ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams made his debut and took out all four wrestlers. Williams shakes his head and takes all of Couch Potato’s Twinkies.
MATCH #3- ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler defeated Professional Men (Rick Beam- Country Club Pro w/Pool Boy Pete and Jack from State Barn Insurance)
-Extended squash match that saw Miller and Butler dominate from the opening bell.
MATCH #4- Yosemite Samantha defeated ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris
-Samantha continued her assault through MVW on her way to what she hopes is a women’s title match opportunity.
At intermission, Corporate SportsEntertainment Programming Nation CEO Mark Splitter introduces the two reporters who will be the only media who will get to talk with any of the Sports Entertainment Corporation’s wrestlers: CSPN’s Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris.
Anderson and Morris interview MVW Champion ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell. Blackwell brags about his ‘breakthrough’ win versus the ‘aging, over the hill’ Ray McAvay at MVW’s New Beginnings. He says he knows that McAvay is not in the building tonight because he needs to rest up because he needs more sleep these days because he’s ‘old.’ Blackwell throws out an open challenge to anyone in the back for a title shot tonight.
NARFLE THE GARTHOK!
The crowd pops when SNAFU walks out with his coach E.J. Flack.
SNAFU: Challenge accepted!
MATCH #5- HEARTLAND TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH: Jack Fraiser with his Oootlander defeated Average Joe with Tequila Sheila
-Good back and forth match. Fraiser books a ticket to another Heartland Title shot against Champion ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson with the win.
Post match, Dickinson hits the ring and lays out Fraiser and his Oootlander Blaire Rendell as a ‘precursor’ to their upcoming match.
SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum comes out before the next match and tells everyone that Alabama is going to defeat Clemson Monday night for the College Football National Championship. Why? Because they’re in the SEC and they’re winners…just like P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit are winners because they’re in the SEC.
MATCH #6- Sports Entertainment Corporation (P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit with the SEC) defeated Rough Justice (D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme method of law enforcement)
-Banks and Walstreit avoid the extracurricular activity Rough Justice usually engages in and get the win via Walstreit’s Stock Market Plunge on Ruff.
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann comes out and again complains about Dawn McGill. McMann says it’s a waste for her to valet for a third rate robot wannabe when she could be the face of the SEC. McMann next talks about bringing in a ‘big name talent’ to challenge MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy and the #1 contender for the belt ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin.
MATCH #7- TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Dork Dynasty (Leonard and Sheldon Robertson with Penny and Amy) © defeated Weapons of Mass Destruction (A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb with Daisy Cutter-Bomb)
-The Dorks continue their run of wins using their scientific wrestling prowess to outsmart the bigger and brawnier A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb.
MAIN EVENT- MVW TITLE MATCH: Charlie Blackwell with the SEC defeated SNAFU with Coach E.J. Flack to retain the title.
-Blackwell resorted to outside shenanigans to get over in a wild match. SEC members Kirk Walstreit, P.M.C. Banks, Miley Vyrus, and ‘Country…er…Pop Songstress’ Taylor Switt all got involved. ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-Five and Dawn McGill came down to the ring and joined the fray. McGill switched off character long enough to cane the crap out of Walstreit and Banks and then a twerking Vyrus. McGill and Ultratron-Five then chased Vyrus and Switt to the back. Blackwell would get the win with the Katahajime.
Post-match, Jill Berg came out one more time to remind everyone about Sunday Night Wrestling this weekend on the Wrasslin’ World Channel.