1-5-2019 Topeka, KS House Show Report

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MVW House Show Report
Landon Arena
Topeka, KS
Saturday January 5th, 2019

Night two of the Missouri Valley Wrestling roadshow through the heartland of America stopped off at the Landon Arena in Topeka, Kansas last night. A crowd of around 4,500 filled up the lower area of the facility for a nine match show.

MVW CEO Jill Berg came out to the ring and welcomed everyone to the show. She had one piece of business to share with the crowd and it was a huge announcement.

Jill Berg:
“Ladies and gentlemen. I am pleased to announce that after over fourteen months of exile from weekly television, Missouri Valley Wrestling has a home once again. Starting next week, Sunday Night Wrestling returns to the air on the Wrasslin’ World Channel.

Berg added that the first show will consist of taped matches from this weekend’s house shows. Starting in mid-January, MVW would begin to tape shows in St. Louis at the MVW Television Studios. The hosts of the show will continue to be ‘Thunderbolt’ Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.

Berg thanked everyone again and then, on with the show…

MATCH #1- Heartland Champion ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler, and ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller defeated Perfectly Average Company (Average Joe and Brad Company with valet Tequila Sheila) and ‘The World’s Most Uninteresting Man’ Tom Smith
-You throw together three of the roughest characters in Missouri Valley Wrestling and pit them against three of the most average wrestlers in the company and what do you get?  An entertaining opening match.

And yes, the look Dickinson, Butler, and Miller gave Smith when he rolled to the ring in a 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass with Barry Manilow’s “I Write the Songs” blaring from the car like he was out cruising the streets was priceless.

Dickinson, Butler, and Miller get the win.

MATCH #2- Ninja Kitty defeated Maxie Perry and Tori Thomas
-The always entertaining Ninja Kitty used her superior quickness and dexterity to drive Perry and Thomas crazy during the match. Perry eliminated Thomas. Then Ninja Kitty hit the Hurricanrana DDT on Perry to seal the win.

MATCH #3- The Missouri Valley Fight Club (Harley Davisson and Carrieanne McDermott) and ‘Queen of the Trailer Court’ Lani Harlot defeated Housewives of Chaos (Svetlana Kovaleski and Dr. Annabel ‘From Hannibal’ Lecker and Kathryn Randall Collins
-A match that showcased the always gritty, always ready to fight Missouri Valley Fight Club teaming up with the Queen of the Trailer Court to take on the ring veterans who make up the Housewives of Chaos and KRC. While the MVFC spent a good chunk of the match brawling on the outside, it was Lani Harlot who would get the submission win with the White Trash Compactor to KRC.

MATCH #4- Ultratron-Five with Dawn McGill vs. the Sports Entertainment Corporation’s ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver with Miley Vyrus and ‘Country…er…Pop Songstress’ Taylor Switt- no contest
-Let’s see, Ultratron-Five has the usual mechanical breakdown during the match- check. Taylor Switt using her guitar that perpetually leaks white powder from inside-check. The difference was the addition of Dawn McGill to the mix as Ultratron-Five’s companion in all wrestling matters.

McGill came out with Ultratron-Five and said her line…

Dawn McGill

Dawn McGill (cold, expressionless voice):
I must help Ultratron-Five take over Missouri Valley Wrestling.

…and only broke character once when Switt walloped Ultratron-Five with the guitar. McGill jumped Switt and cracked her over the head with a Singapore cane. Then she took out Miley Vyrus with a cane shot and quickly reverted back to character.

This brought out ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and he was not happy.

Mr. McMann:
“No. No-no-no. This is the same crap you did before Dawn. Last year, you played Sports Entertainment Barbie. This year, it’s…whatever you’re doing now. You play the character when it suits you and pop back into Demolition Machine mode when you need to kick some ass. This is crap and you should be doing it for the SEC instead of working with a cheap b-movie knock off.

McGill’s response?

Dawn McGill (cold, expressionless voice):
I must help Ultratron-Five take over Missouri Valley Wrestling.

McMann threw up his hands and both wrestlers were counted out. Oh, and he may have uttered ‘this sucks’ as he stomped his way to the back.

Yosemite Samantha Promo
-Yosemite Samantha aka…“The roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest cowgirl who ever crossed the Rio Grande”…came out and cut a promo on how she’s been working her ass off for the better part of eighteen months and she wants the Women’s title.

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Yosemite Samantha

Yosemite Samantha:
I’m done waiting for ‘my turn.’ Yeah, I got a chance in late 2017 but Lisa Barbosa-Stevens literally broke my ankle for the match and I ran on fifty percent. Yeah, I got my shot at the new champ at the end of 2018…roughed her up good for over twenty minutes…lost ‘cause I didn’t finish the job. I didn’t get the rematch at New Beginnings…and that’s fine. But now, I’m here to tell you that I will finish the job.

Yosemite Samantha warns Christa that her aim is to getting a title shot and winning the women’s belt. And she’ll do anything to win the belt…anything.

MATCH #5- Yosemite Samantha defeated Cheryl Parkman
-Quick two minute match. Yosemite Samantha went all around the world and hit her Cannonball Combo to score the win.

MATCH #6- The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja (Hank, Tiny, and Stan with April O’Neale) defeated SNAFU with Coach E.J. Flack, Ken Worth-American Trucker, and Jack Fraiser with his Oootlander Blaire Rendell.
-The BBSPN’s team cohesion is the difference in the match and they get the win in a fun match.

MATCH #7- Island of Misfit Wrestlers (Rah and Halitosis with Regina McGill) vs. The Sports Entertainment Corporation (Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks with Mr. McMann and the SEC)- twenty minute time limit draw.
-This match featuring two teams who’d like to get in line to challenge the MVW Tag Team Champions The Dork Dynasty for the tag belts would end with an inconclusive result.

Mr. McMann Promo
With the CSPN camera crew filming him, Mr. McMann reveals that regretfully the SEC was unable to come to terms on deals to bring ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin or the MVW Women’s champion Christa Carmondy back to the fold. McMann states ‘it’s their loss’ and promises to bring a new women’s wrestler that’s better than Tess and Carmondy.

Mr. McMann:
The track record of the wrestler I’m looking to bring into the SEC speaks for itself. The SEC will only look for the best. This wrestler was the best in Missouri Valley Wrestling before…and once she comes in, I’m quite confident she’ll be the best again. And speaking of the best…

McMann brings out the MVW Champion Charlie Blackwell for his non-title match with A. Tom Bomb of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

MATCH #8- NON-TITLE MATCH: ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell defeated A. Tom Bomb with Hy Drogen Bomb, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and General George S. Patton (Deceased).
-A battle between A-Bomb’s power moves and Blackwell’s technical ability. Blackwell played possum early and let A-Bomb tire himself out. Then Blackwell went to work and submitted A-Bomb with the Katahajime.

Charlie Blackwell Promo
Blackwell cut a short promo on ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay. He stated the script had flipped and now it’s Blackwell at the top and McAvay clawing and scratching his way back up.

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‘MVW Champion ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell

Charlie Blackwell:
I left the Les Miserables because I wanted to get paid. And now, I have the best of both worlds. I’m getting paid and I’ve got the MVW title belt.

MAIN EVENT-MVW WOMEN’S TITLE: Christa Carmondy © defeated ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
-Both women came out firing on all cylinders. Tess came close a couple times. Christa closed out the win with the Mean Girl Crush to retain the title.

Jill Berg came out again and thanked everyone for coming to the show and reminded them that Sunday Night Wrestling would be returning next week on the Wrasslin’ World channel.

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About Art Nouveaux

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