Earlier tonight at the beginning of the taping for the next two weeks of Missouri Valley Wrestling television programming, Men’s Champion Ray McAvay, Women’s Champion Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, Tag Team Champions P.M.C. Banks and Justin Beaver, and Television Champion ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson led the MVW roster out to the floor to observe a moment of silence followed by a ten bell tribute to PWX and Redefine Pro Wrestling’s John Pariah.
Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Taping
MVW Television Studio
St. Louis, Missouri
(10 Bell Salute to John Pariah)
[Muted lighting. The MVW roster gathers around the empty ring. Hands folded in front. Heads bowed. Also standing with them, MVW announcers Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.]
[Fade to black.]
Ray McAvay talks about John Pariah
I remember wrestling John in November 2015 in High Octane Wrestling. It was the same year he had three incredible matches with Jon Kellar…twice in Redefine and once at New Japan Fighting Championship. Pariah was in the middle of a short run as the General Manager of HOW and I tagged with Rah against him and Ryan McKenna.
I remember before the match, Pariah said: “…Yes, I can brawl with the best of them. I can scrap, I can claw-and when I need to-I can take a beating just as well as I can dish it out. I can also outlast you. I can also out wrestle you. So trust me when I say this Ray: Don’t expect one thing from me-because I’ll hand you the opposite.”
And…he was right. We got the win that night and we were fortunate. John wasn’t at his best form during his run at HOW, but I will say this much…he is probably one of the toughest son of a bitches I’ve ever faced in the ring.
Here is the match McAvay was referring to…
‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay and Rah vs. John Pariah and Ryan McKenna
High Octane Wrestling
Friday Night Chaos
Friday November 20th, 2015
Announcers: Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen as we dive into our co-main event of the evening as our General Manager, John Pariah, teams up with his business partner, Ryan McKenna to take on Ray McAvay and…….
Benny Newell: RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The lights fade to dark blue in the arena as “IDONTGIVEAFUCK” by Rabbit Junk starts. A few bars after the music kicks in, Ryan emerges from the curtain and walks out onto the stage in a #BLU97 hoodie. He takes a knee at the top of the entrance ramp, his arms outstretched and his head bowed, until the music comes alive.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna has been rusty since returning to the ring as he has spent the majority of this year in New Orleans getting Cajun City Wrestling ready.
Benny Newell: Fuck this traitor! He loses to the Penguin and now he’s best buddies with him?!?!?!? Tim Shipley and I are going to play cards next week at James Varga’s house.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, hailing New Orleans, Louisiana by way of Glasgow, Scotland, and weighing in at one hundred and ninety-six pounds, he is.….RYAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN MCKENNAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
The lights go up, and he flicks the hood down, appealing to the crowd as he walks down to the ring. He jumps up onto the apron, climbing a turnbuckle from the outside and holding his arms outstretched towards the crowd before dismounting into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna looks primed and ready here tonight.
Benny Newell: If they win I‘m sure Cobblepot will book himself in a tag title match against Mario if they happen to win tonight.
As his music fades, the arena lights go completely black.
“We will not take this anymore
These words will never be ignored
You want a battle…”
“HERE’S A WAR!!”
Strobe lights engulf the arena as Bullet For My Valentine’s “You Want A Battle (Here’s A War)” hits the PA system and the crowd erupts as the word “PARIAH” appears on the torn-mixed with footage of Pariah in the ring. He appears on stage-with his arms outstretched and back to the crowd.
Bryan McVay: And his partner, from Chicago, Illinois, he weighs in at 219 pounds, he is….JOHN PAAAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAH!!!
He turns around as pyro shoots up behind him. The crowd roars as he heads down the ramp-shaking hands with fans and delivering Too Sweets to the crowd at ringside. He climbs into the ring and sticks his head and upper body between the top and middle ropes, throwing his elbow up-glaring into the hard camera as the streamers fly in, and the music fades out as he awaits the bell.
Joe Hoffman: Our HOW General Manager looks primed and ready to go tonight. McKenna took him the distance last week in an incredible match.
Benny Newell: The fat fuck needs to lay off the Big Macs.
A man dressed in an expensive suit and bow-tie walks to the ring and climbs in. he motions for Bryan McVay to take a temporary powder while he’s been given the honor and privilege of introducing a living deity
Announcer Guy (in a voice not unlike Michael Buffer): Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the sun gods of all creation. He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day. He is the great, fiery globe in the sky, a welcome, nurturing presence to honor the season. He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the 1950s. And just for your reference, he is, for 32 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego‘s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends. But that’s not important.
The lights turn off and a small spotlight illuminates the stage. The Arizona State sorority sisters flown in to be Rah’s followers enter, still taking copious amounts of selfies as they walk towards the ring. Two men follow carrying a golden sedan chair holding a six foot seven inch, two hundred and eighty pound man dressed in long flowing robes to the ring.
Annnoucer Guy: Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight. I give to you…the Sunshine God…RAAAAAAAAH!
The procession stops at the ring steps. Rah climbs out of his golden sedan chair, and makes his way inside of the ring.
“Down Again” by Charlie Robison begins to play throughout the arena as the tune brings out the entourage of “Tin Cup” Ray McAvay.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, weighing in at 190lbs, he hails from Salome, TX, He is “Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ray McAvay walks out onto the stage and he’s followed closely by his valets Dark and Stormy. They pose on the stage, smile, bat their eyes and showed off their new edition, HOW Ray McAvay “Show up. Punch In. Shut up. Get to Work” button down baseball jerseys
Benny Newell: I wonder if they are topless under those jerseys?
McAvay and company begin marching to the ring and bringing up the end is McAvay’s trainer and manager ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido with the familiar Big Bertha Driver in his hands. Slowly following far behind the entourage of Tin Cup is Bert the Janitor pushing the mop bucket using the Big Bertha Driver of McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay has had a string of misfortunes lately.
Benny Newell: How so? He beat Black last week.
Joe Hoffman: This is true, but David Black went on and beat Max Kael for the LSD title the very next week.
The entourage of slowly makes their way around the ring as Ray climbs up the ring steps and gets into the ring. Ray begins to stretch out on the ropes as he awaits the bell.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay earlier let the world know what his priorities in life at the moment are when he was confronted by Stevens.
Benny Newell: Lets be frank Hoffman, a pregnant Dawn McGill is more of a bad ass than Stevens.
Boettcher calls for the bell.
Joe Hoffman: And here we go….
The teams converse in their corners about who is going to start the match first.
Joe Hoffman: Looks like it’s going to be McKenna and……
Benny Newell: RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: Very good Benny.
Benny Newell: You think it was going to be he who shall not be named?!?!?!?!? Fat fuck would gas out by stepping through the ropes.
Rah points and laughs at the much smaller McKenna.
Joe Hoffman: Rah seemingly not taking McKenna seriously.
Benny Newell: If you were a living deity would you?
Rah goes to lock up with McKenna, but the Scotsman ducks under the attempt and rocks the glitter off of the Sunshine God with a jumping enzuigiri.
Joe Hoffman: That got his attention.
Benny Newell: He’s about to feel a God’s wrath Hoffman.
Rah’s face begins to turn red either from anger or his solar energy that generates his immortality as he lunges forward in an attempt to grab the former LSD champion, but McKenna uses his speed and quickness to avoid. As Rah turns around to face McKenna, the Scot begins to kick the leg of the bigger opponent.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna trying to take the big man down.
McKenna staggers Rah with a standing drop kick.
Benny Newell: Come on RAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McKenna builds up a head of steam by running the ropes and as he nears his corner the ref slaps his hands together and McKenna ducks under a big boot from Rah, and builds up more momentum as he hits the ropes and clips the leg of the Prince of the Solstice.
Benny Newell: Watch out RAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Before Rah can gain his bearings, Pariah drills him with a seated drop kick to the face.
Joe Hoffman: Rah is reeling after that surprise attack.
Pariah seeing the downed God hits the ropes and jumps into the air when he reaches Rah.
Joe Hoffman: Running senton from Pariah.
Pariah quickly hooks a leg.
Rah powers out.
Pariah quickly mounts the deity and begins to lay into his beautiful face with a flurry of elbows.
Benny Newell: Those twelve to six elbows are illegal Bitcher! Disqualify him!
Joe Hoffman: This isn’t MMA Benny.
Benny Newell: Fuck you Hoffman!
Pariah delivers a stiff elbow to the face of Rah before transitioning over and delivering a pair of knees the side of Rah’s face.
Joe Hoffman: Pariah keeping the big man grounded and off of his feet.
Pariah goes for a cover.
Rah powers out once again.
Benny Newell: You’re fighting the embodiment of the sun fat fuck!
Pariah bends down to pick up the man who the Greek false God Apollo ripped off, and has a large hand grab him by the throat.
Benny Newell: What now fucker!
Rah begins to choke the life out of the HOW General Manager as he slowly makes his way back up to his feet and points to the sky.
Joe Hoffman: Choke Slam coming up.
Benny Newell: It’s the Solstice Slam! Get the shit right!
Rah lifts him up but Pariah is able to get loose.
Benny Newell: Watch out!
Rah turns around and gets hit with a shoulder tackle that barely moves the Sunshine God. Rah brushes the attack off and laughs at the general manager. Pariah charges at Rah, but gets sent to the canvas from a big boot.
Benny Newell: KICK OF FLARE! DRINK!
Rah drops into a cover.
Pariah gets the shoulder up.
Rah grabs Pariah and drags him closer to his corner and tags in Tin Cup.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay with the tag and the Texan is stomping away on Pariah.
McAvay makes sure Pariah is grounded as he stomps his entire bottom before jumping into the air to deliver a knee drop.
Pariah kicks out again.
McAvay quickly slaps a reverse chin lock.
Benny Newell: Tap bitch! TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
Boettcher checks to see if Pariah wants to submit, but the general manager says no. McAvay begins to rear back on the submission and Pariah’s legs begin to flail about.
Benny Newell: Look at him flail around like a fish out of water Hoffman.
Pariah reaches up and rakes the eyes of McAvay.
Joe Hoffman: Desperation move by Pariah.
Pariah begins to crawl towards his corner.
Benny Newell: Someone stop him!
Pariah inches closer and closer to his corner and McKenna extend his arm to be tagged, but before Pariah can make the tag, McAvay flies in from out of nowhere and prevents it.
Benny Newell: That’s what I’m talking about!
McAvay picks up Pariah and delivers forearm shivers to him as he backs him up against the ropes before whipping him across the ring. McAvay ready to deliver a clothesline as he rolls his arm and whiffs.
Benny Newell: Look out!
As soon as Tin Cup turns around he’s blasted with a lariat from Pariah.
Joe Hoffman: Lariat O’Doom!
Benny Newell: Yeah well, I have the Boner O’Doom in my pants.
Crowd: THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME!
As the crowd shows their appreciation for the action inside the squared circle, McKenna begins to pace rapidly on the ring apron as he yells at Pariah to hurry up.
Joe Hoffman: Tag!
McKenna sprints into the ring and hits a sliding baseball slide dropkick to McAvay and follows up the momentum with a standing moonsault.
Benny Newell: Kick out!
Rah with the save.
Boettcher immediately gets into the face of the Sunshine God and Pariah and McKenna begin to stomp away on the Texan. Rah tries to move forward but the referee prevents him from helping his partner.
Benny Newell: Fucking Bitcher and his cheating ways!
Rah seeing enough lifts up Boettcher and places him down on the opposite side so he can run over and nail McKenna with the Kick of Flare before planting Pariah into the canvas with the Solstice Slam.
Boettcher seeing McKenna and McAvay down begins his mandatory ten count.
Both men begin to stir.
Both men get to all fours.
McAvay is on his feet.
McKenna is up in time.
Joe Hoffman: That was a close one for McKenna.
Benny Newell: Fucking slow count.
McKenna and McAvay begin to trade punches in the center of the ring and has McAvay goes for a wild right hand the Scot avoids it and jumps up looking to finish Tin Cup off.
Joe Hoffman: Scatter shhhhh……NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Benny Newell: MCGILL-BOMB!
Boettcher drops to make the count.
McKenna gets the shoulder up at the last second.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! (clap, clap, clap) THIS IS AWESOME! (clap, clap, clap) THIS IS AWESOME!
Ray seeing an opening grabs McKenna by the neck…Neckbreaker! Ray again grabs him by the back of the neck…Running Bulldog!
Joe Hoffman: Tin Cup with the Shaken and Stirred.
McAvay quickly goes for a cover.
McKenna gets the shoulder up.
Tin Cup holds up three fingers towards the referee but Boettcher says it was only a count of two.
Tin Cup looks over to his manager and taps his nose twice.
Joe Hoffman: McKenna looks to be in dire straits here.
Benny Newell: IT’S TITTY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!
Dark and Stormy crawl onto the ring apron and begin to unbutton their jerseys. Boettcher sees the breasts begin to protrude through the front of the unbutton jerseys sprints over to the girls and begins to button their jerseys back up.
Benny Newell: The fuck is wrong with Bitcher? Dude acts like he’s never seen tits before. Fucking drink.
While McAvay’s “friends” have the referee distracted, his manager ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido tosses in the Callaway.
Tin Cup catches the club and gives Chris a thumbs up for doing a good job.
Joe Hoffman: McAvay looking to Tee Off on McKenna here.
Unbeknownst to McAvay, McKenna is back to his feet and drills Ray in his face with a standing dropkick that sends the Texan to the canvas.
McKenna picks up the club and breaks it over his knee and tosses it out of the ring and goes for a cover, but sees Boettcher is still distracted by Dark and Stormy.
McKenna hits the ropes and sends McAvay’s valets to the floor.
Benny Newell: That fucking faggot! I knew all Scottish people were fucking flamers by wearing dresses and shit all the time.
Joe Hoffman: Maybe it was an accident.
Benny Newell: Accident my ass, this fucker can‘t get a girl so he has to beat them like Greg Hardy to make himself feel better.
McKenna grabs Boettcher and yells for him to count as he covers McAvay.
McKenna gets to his feet and slams his fist down on the mat waiting for Ray to get up. As McAvay slowly makes his way back up to his feet. As soon as he turns around, McKenna throws himself forward with a haymaker coming towards the Texan.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my! McAvay barely gets out of the way of McKenna’s Combo Breaker.
McAvay takes advantage of the missed Superman punch and drills McKenna with a belly to back suplex.
Joe Hoffman: Picture perfect suplex from McAvay.
Pariah reaches over the ropes and slaps McKenna on the arm while McAvay is regaining his bearings. As McAvay makes his way over to McKenna, he gets popped by a discuss elbow by Pariah.
Joe Hoffman: Pariah gave McAvay the Mirakuru.
Pariah sees Tin Cup vulnerable in the corner and rushes towards him and jumps up looking for a splash, but the Texan is pulled away from the corner by Rah, and the general manager eats the top turnbuckle for dinner.
Benny Newell: Pariah wishes he had some salt to make that turnbuckle taste better.
As Pariah staggers out of the corner he stumbles into the giant hand of Rah who slams him into the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Solstice Slam!
Benny Newell: What’s Rah doing?
Rah picks up McAvay and choke slams him on top of Pariah as Boettcher drops to begin his count as McKenna begins to stir.
McKenna breaks it up a split second too late.
Bryan McVay: And the winners of the match by pinfall…..“Tin Cup“ RAY! MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! And…..
Announcer Guy: I’ll take it from here minor leaguer.
The announcer clears his throat.
Announcer Guy: The God who single handedly showed that he can win the match without winning the match. The Soltan of Making the Ladies Sweat that rewarded his top follower after he names his twins Rah and RAAAAH! I give to you…the Sunshine God…RAAAAAAAAH!
Joe Hoffman: What a match!
Benny Newell: I have to admit it was a pretty good match.
Boettcher raises the hands of both McAvay and Rah as both entourages fill the ring to celebrate the victory.