MVW Sunday Night Wrestling – September 24th


In tonight’s main event, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (left) locks up with Lisa Barbosa-Stevens in the Women’s Title #1 Contender’s match.

==

Last week on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling:

(Mr. McMann changes the Sports Entertainment Corporation plan re: Dawn McGill)

[McMann, SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, Charlie Blackwell, P.M.C. Banks, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, and Regina McGill all sit around a table. McMann glances down occasionally at a binder containing his notes and talking points.]

Mr. McMann: So with that, I have come to the conclusion that we need to adjust our plan to entice Dawn McGill to join the SEC. In order to achieve our corporate objective, I believe we should now let the Kardoucheians do the heavy lifting from the wrestling side. It’s clear that the Kardoucheians will be useful in that endeavor. However, I still believe we can assert pressure on her from a more ‘personal’ angle. So with that in mind…

[McMann turns to Blackwell.]

Mr. McMann: Charlie. You’re Dawn’s certified financial planner. She trusts you implicitly with her money.

Charlie Blackwell: She does.

Mr. McMann: I need you to capitalize on her trust and find some way to cut off her cash flow.

Charlie Blackwell: Cut off her cash flow?

Mr. McMann: Yes. Squeeze her on money. Come up with some scheme that she’s still recovering from her massive overinvestment in trying to keep PCW alive and money is tight.   We can use that to leverage the fact if she joined the SEC she would have a near unlimited source of cash.

–cut–

(Jill Berg lays down the law with ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann)

[Jill glances up as Mr. McMann strides into her office.]

Mr. McMann: Do you mind explaining to me why you didn’t consult with me about bringing Lisa Barbosa-Stevens back?

Jill Berg: Because, the bottom line is I can.

–cut–

Jill Berg: I said I would let you book the talent. I didn’t realize you were going to bring back your Sports Entertainment Corporation to push specific talent. Which is fine. But that doesn’t keep me from doing what I think needs to be done to enhance our product. Bringing back Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and bringing in Bo Stevens as a wrestler enhances our product. Do you know what does NOT enhance our product? Your obsession with Dawn McGill.

–cut–

Jill Berg: I am willing to throw you a little bone.

[Berg leans into McMann’s ear and whispers something.]

[McMann’s eyes light up. Whatever she’s saying, he definitely approves.]

–cut–

(The SEC downsizes when ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin faces Regina McGill- loser is out.)

[…Tess crawls to the corner. Regina sets up on the opposite side. She sprints across and launches herself in the air- driving a pair of knees to Tessa’s back. Regina hops over the rope…runs up the ring apron and booted Tess in the face. Tess falls flat on her back.   Regina dives through the ropes and hooks the leg.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Regina for the win!

[One.]

[Two.]

[Thr-NO! Tess gets her foot on the bottom rope.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Rick Hall: Unbelievable! How did Regina find her second wind? How did Tessa find the bottom rope?

[Regina pulls Tess back in the middle of the ring. She pulls her up. Tess boots her in the gut. Turns. Grabs the back of the neck. Drops. Drives Regina to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: PIZZA CUTTER!

Rick Hall: Where did that come from!

[Tess hooks the legs and rolls them up. Payson down to make the count.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[THREE. Payson calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

–cut—

(Jill Berg makes an announcement about MVWA 77)

Jill Berg: The MVWA 77 Main Event will be…MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay defending the title against ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell.

Thunderbolt Smith (voiceover): I don’t think this is that much of a surprise.

Rick Hall (voiceover): Nope. Really the logical choice. No one else has stepped out. Blackwell and McAvay makes sense.

Jill Berg: I will leave it to Mr. McMann to determine who P.M.C. Banks’s tag team partner will be. However, I do insist that Mr. McMann announce Banks’s partner no later than the end of the first match next week on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

–cut—

(And speaking of…Ray McAvay has some words for Charlie Blackwell)

[Blair Moise sits in the front row of the Les Miserables section with the MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay.]

Ray McAvay: Charlie. Where the hell were you? You half-assed going to the ring to help Dawn. You hardly did anything to help your cousin. And then you attacked me after I came down and chased the Kardoucheians away. Charlie, I don’t know how you can look at yourself in the mirror. So okay.   It’s going to be you and me at MVWA 77. And you know, that’s fine. If Charlie Blackwell is happy with his choice to join the SEC- good for him. But is he doing this for the right reasons? Was it for fame and glory and all that other bullshit? I would never do that. I would never do become something I didn’t want to and compromise everything I’ve tried to be since 2015…

–cut–

Ray McAvay: I’m not going to sell my soul, compromise my principles, and I’m sure as hell not going to sell out- all in the name of winning titles.

[McAvay pats the MVW Men’s title belt over his shoulder.]

Ray McAvay: I don’t have to do that.

–cut—

(Dawn McGill gets a little payback on The Kardoucheians)

[Ruff rolls into the ring and joins Justice in laying the boots to McAvay.]

Rick Hall: Two on one attack on McAvay now. Who’s going to-

[The video screen comes to life.]

Dawn McGill’s voice: HEY ROUGH JUSTICE!

[Backstage, McGill stands over Ken Kardoucheian. Ken’s out. Bloodied…presumably at the hand of the de-chromed trailer hitch with blood on it in McGill’s hand.]

Dawn McGill: You might want to come back here. Your employers might be in a little trouble here.

–cut—

[Khris Kardoucheian and Kourtney Kardoucheian arrive on scene.]

Khris Kardoucheian: RUFF!  JUSTICE!  GET YOUR ASSES BACK-

[McGill turns and gives Khris a trailer hitch facial. He’s out before he hits the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: OH!

–cut–

(TV Title Match gets cut short- ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson is not happy at the match being cut to just five minutes)

[Dickinson screams at Butler to get back in the ring. Butler laughs and flips him off.]

[Keels up to four.]

Rick Hall: I don’t think he’s going to get back in.

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson’s running out of time.

[Butler climbs up on the ring apron. Dickinson again shouts at him to get back in the ring. The champion demurs. The challenger finally snaps and charges after him. Butler jumps down and takes off around the ring. Dickinson chases and the Cowboy breaks it off and runs to the back with Dickinson in hot pursuit.]

MVW Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday September 24th, 2017
MVW Television Studio
St. Louis, MO
Hosts: Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall

[Opening shot- Camera pans around the ring. There’s over a hundred people inside the MVW Television studio.]

[Crowd applause]

[Cut to Thunderbolt Smith and Rick Hall inside the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Hello and welcome to MVW Sunday Night Wrestling…brought to you by Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky and Fred Sr.’s Burger Cash Cow!

[More applause.]

Thunderbolt Smith: I am Thunderbolt Smith. He is ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.

[Hall waves.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We are less than one week away from MVWA 77. Rick, a lot of things went down last week. Jill Berg’s office was a busy place after last week’s show. ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson was simply incensed over the Television Title match being cut short.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, Dickinson felt he was screwed over when the match last week was cut short due to television time constraints has been on a path of rage ever since. Dickinson attacked Television Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler Friday night in Mount Vernon, Illinois. Dickinson went after Butler again Saturday night in Evansville, Indiana.

Thunderbolt Smith: ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill was in Jill’s office demanding to know who the Island of Misfit Wrestlers…Rah and ‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis…are going to wrestle next Saturday night now that Charlie Blackwell is facing ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay for the MVW Men’s title.

Rick Hall: After what she did to the Kardoucheians last week, I think I’d give her whatever she wants.

Thunderbolt Smith: We will find that out tonight. And speaking of the Kardoucheians, they were in Jill’s office to complain about McGill.

Rick Hall: Yeah, Jill didn’t have a lot of sympathy for them.

Thunderbolt Smith: Or their hired goons, Rough Justice. Tonight’s main event will be the Women’s Title Number One Contender match between ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin with the SEC and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens that was taped last night in Evansville, Indiana.

Rick Hall: The winner faces Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy next Saturday for the title. Either one of these two- Tessa or Lisa, will be a formidable opponent for the Women’s champion.

Thunderbolt Smith: I completely agree. We’ll also have highlights of the semi-final matches that took place Friday night in Mount Vernon. But now, let’s go to the ring and the lovely Kimber Marshall to kick off the wrestling action.


Kimber Marshall

[Cut to Kimber Marshall in the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our first match of the night is a one fall, ten minute time limit. Introducing first, from Michigan City, Indiana…he is the BIGGGGGG HUNNNN-GRY…COUCH POTATO!


The Couch Potato

[The audience applauds as the three hundred pound plus Couch Potato ambles down to the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Couch Potato making his way to the ring.

[The MVW fans throw their semi-traditional shower of Twinkies into the ring- like the Ring of Honor tradition of throwing streamers into the ring before a match.]

[MVW ring technicians quickly swoop in to clear the ring and end up fighting Couch Potato for the Twinkies.]

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He is the Monongahelian Stomper!

[The Stomper appears and flexes both arms.]

Thunderbolt Smith: This will be our first look at the Monongahelian Stomper here on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

[He starts to head towards the ring but the three hundred and thirty pound Southern brawler ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson runs out and clobbers him from behind.]


‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, that didn’t take long.

[Dickinson whips the Stomper into the wall and fires off right hands at will.]

Rick Hall: Nope. After what Dickinson did over the weekend, this does not surprise me.

Thunderbolt Smith: If you had ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson doing a run in the first minute of the show, you just won.

[The Stomper wilts and falls on the floor. That allows Dickinson to switch tacks and start laying in the boots.]

Thunderbolt Smith: The Monongahelian Stomper is defenseless and-


‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler

Rick Hall: IT’S THE TV CHAMPION!

[MVW Television Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler flies in and levels Dickinson with a forearm shot. Butler hovers over Dickinson and flips him off. Then he starts laying in the boots and angrily stomps the hell out of Dickinson.]

Thunderbolt Smith: BUTLER IS KICKING THE CRAP OUT OF HIM!

Rick Hall: Well, Dickinson did beat the crap out of Butler twice this weekend.

[Referees Davey Keels and Ron Martin run out to try to separate the two. Butler pushes Keels back and then propels his head into Dickinson’s midsection, driving him backwards and hitting the wall with an audiable ‘SMACK’.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler doing some chiropractic work on Dickinson’s back.

[Butler takes Dickinson by the head and goes to bash it against the wall- but the video screen comes to life.]

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

Thunderbolt Smith: HOLD ON!

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[The door to Jill Berg’s office opens a few seconds later. Sixteen large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes.]

Thunderbolt Smith: CEO of Missouri Valley Wrestling- Jill Berg has seen enough.

Rick Hall: She’s got to come out here and address this situation NOW or else it’s going to be long night.

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. Jerry has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.]

JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as Jill walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.]

JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[The group continues towards the ring.]

JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

Kimber Marshall: From the financial district of New York City. She is the corporate predator, the CEO of MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING! She is the phenomenon known as JIIIIIIILLLL- BERRRRRRRG!

[Jill is helped into the ring by her escorts. Kimber hands her the microphone.]

Jill Berg: ENOUGH!

[Security finally gets in between Butler and Dickinson and pulls them apart.]

Jill Berg: All right. First off, Bill? All right. We screwed up last week, okay? The *BLEEP*-ing show went long and there’s nothing I could have done to change it. What we should have done was push the match back to this week.

[Dickinson nods affirmatively.]

Jill Berg: However Bill, that does not justify you storming into my office and swearing up a storm with me last week. It does not justify what went down over the weekend either where you declared war on Butler. Got it. You’re pissed. Butler did everything in his power to run out the five minutes.   Here’s how we’re going to fix this and give our fans a good match. Davey!

[Berg motions to Referee Davey Keels to come to the ring.]

Jill Berg: You will referee. One fall. NO time limit. NO *BLEEP*-ING DISQUALIFICATION. Television Title on the line. NOW!

*DING-DING*

====================

MATCH ONE / MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING TELEVISION TITLE:

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler ©

vs.

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson

REFEREE: Davey Keels

====================

[Immediately, Dickinson piefaces Butler. He throws the champion on a chair and backs up. Dickinson rushes forward. Butler spins out of the way. Dickinson takes out the chair. The 330 pound Southern brawler gets right up and pulls Butler’s legs out from under him. Dickinson rams Butler’s head into the chair. Butler staggers back up. Dickinson clotheslines him back to the floor. Butler again drags himself up and stumbles backward over the guardrail back to ringside. Dickinson somehow climbs up the guardrail]

Thunderbolt Smith: I don’t believe he’s trying to do this.

[Dickinson leaps and lands a flying elbow. Someone hands Dickinson a steel folding chair.]

*WHAP*

[Dickinson winds up again but Butler kicks the chair into his face. Now the TV champ with a chair.]

*WHAP*

[Dickinson spins like a slow moving top. Chair on the ground. Butler maneuvers Dickinson over.]

Thunderbolt Smith: DDT ON THE CHAIR! DICKINSON’S BUSTED WIDE OPEN.

[Butler drags Dickinson to the ring and heaves him in. Then he climbs up to the top turnbuckle.

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler flies.

[Dickinson gets his boot up and Butler’s balls run right into it.]

Thunderbolt Smith: DICKINSON GOT HIS FOOT UP AND BUTLER JUST GOT A BOOT TO THE BALLS!

Rick Hall: Yeah, that’s gotta hurt.

[Butler bent over at an angle. Dickinson hits a knee lift and Butler is now bleeding.

Thunderbolt Smith: BUTLER’S BUSTED OPEN NOW!

[Dickinson reaches into his trunks and pulls out a fork.]

Thunderbolt Smith: A FORK? DICKINSON’S GOT A FORK?”

[Dickinson jabs the fork into Butler’s forehead and blood flows freely.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler pounds the floor in agony!

[Butler is yanked off the floor and set up for a piledriver.]

Thunderbolt Smith: DICKINSON’S GOING FOR A PILEDRIVER!

[Dickinson tries to gets Butler but the champion blocks.  Dickinson loses his balance and both men fall backwards landing awkwardly. The challenger takes the brunt of the fall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: AN INCREDIBLE START TO THE MATCH!

Rick Hall: I was surprised that Jill made it no DQ. Dickinson is pulling out all the stops here.

[Butler moves first and takes an armbar on the left arm of the prone Dickinson.]

Thunderbolt Smith: But it’s the champion who reacts first. Armbar by Butler.

Rick Hall: He’s going to slow the pace down and try to keep Dickinson grounded.

Thunderbolt Smith: And rest, too. That was a frantic start to the match.

Rick Hall: That opening sequence took a lot out of both men.

[Butler yanks at the arm to deaden it and gets back to his feet. Dickinson also tries to stand but Butler keeps the pressure on the arm. Referee Keels asks Dickinson if he wants to give up.

Bill Dickinson: HELL NO!

Rick Hall: Dickinson ain’t about to give up. Davey can just forget that.

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler has the wrong arm. Dickinson’s right handed.

[Dickinson puts his right hand on Butler’s chest and powers back up to his feet. But the TV champion continues to work the arm until Dickinson rakes the eyes and forces him to break the hold. Elbow to the back of the neck by Dickinson. Irish Whip. Dickinson catches Butler on the return, put his arms around Butler’s waist and lifts him into a Bear Hug. Then he drops Butler crotch first over his knee.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Atomic Knee by Dickinson!

Rick Hall: That hurt him Thunderbolt.

[Butler is doubled up in pain on the mat…rolling back and forth. Dickinson calmly walks over and drops a knee. And another knee. And another. And another.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson going back to the power game.

[Dickinson lifts Butler up to a position parallel to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Power slam on the way!

[He slams the TV champion to the mat. Butler is slow to get up.]

Rick Hall: Dickinson is slowing the pace down even more- which may not be good news for Butler.

[Butler’s up. But Dickinson flicks a thumb to the throat and sends him flailing on the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Thumb by Dickinson. That would normally get a warning from referee Davey Keels but this is a no disqualification match.

Rick Hall: Dickinson is going the methodical route now.

[Pulling Butler up by the hair, Dickinson whips him to the ropes and slaps on a claw hold to the neck on the return. Butler drops to the mat and kicks his legs wildly.]

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s a blatant choke hold by Dickinson but it’s no DQ.

[Dickinson releases the hold. Butler grabs his throat and rocks back and forth. Dickinson yanks Butler back up by the hair again. Scoop by Dickinson and he slams the champion back first across his leg.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Backbreaker. Butler down. Dickinson covers.

[Dickinson lateral presses Butler. Keels slides in position.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Butler kicks out.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Dickinson questions the count. Keels shakes his head back. Butler back up to a knee. He head butts Dickinson to the midsection and causes him to take two steps back. That only slows him down for a moment. Dickinson rears back and nails Butler with a right hand. Butler folds backwards and lands on the mat. Dickinson covers.

Thunderbolt Smith: Lateral Press by Dickinson.

[One.]

[Two.]

[Butler shoots the shoulder up.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOO!

Rick Hall: That was close!

Thunderbolt Smith: He barely escaped. Butler just lucky to get that right shoulder up.

[Dickinson now sends Butler for a ride. He leaps up and swings his right elbow catching Butler in the jaw. Butler right to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Look at that!

Rick Hall: You could hear that all through the building.

[Dickinson again covers.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Butler kicks out.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOO!

Thunderbolt Smith: NO! Butler just kicked out again.

[Dickinson goes to Keels and claps three times fast.]

Rick Hall: Bill Dickinson having words with Davey Keels about the count after he blitzed ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler right off his feet with that elbow.

Thunderbolt Smith: Man, oh man.

[Dickinson scoops Butler up and slams him hard to the mat. Cover.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Butler again kicks out.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOO!

[Dickinson back up like a shot in Keels’s face about the ‘slow’ count. He claps three times very quick. Keels claps twice in normal cadence. Butler up. He spins Dickinson and hits a right hand.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler back up and gets Dickinson with a right hand!

[Boot to the gut by Butler doubles Dickinson over. Right hand by Butler sends the challenger walking back to the ropes. Irish whip sends Dickinson across the ring. Butler bends over for the back body drop- Dickinson stops and kicks him in the mid-section. Butler back down.]

Rick Hall: Butler was finally getting some offense in but he telegraphed the back body drop and Dickinson took advantage.

[Dickinson grabs the hair. He winds up and unloads a right hand on Butler.   The Cowboy staggers back to a corner and fall against the ropes. But he lashes out with a boot to the gut and stops Dickinson’s advance. Butler winds up and smacks him in the face with a knife-edged chop that snaps Dickinson’s face back.

Thunderbolt Smith: Now it’s Butler on the attack.

Rick Hall: Dickinson’s head snapped back, Thunderbolt. I don’t think he knows where he’s at right now.

[Dickinson walks around in a half circle and right into a Butler right hand.   Butler walks him to the ropes and drills him with another right that sends Dickinson to a knee…and to the mat. Butler rolls Dickinson over and rakes his shoelaces across his face. He drops a right hand and Dickinson lies flat on his back. Butler drops a knee. He covers.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Dickinson kicks out.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOO!

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler needs to keep this up-

[From his knees, Dickinson rifles a couple right hands that bend Butler over. Thumb to the throat sends Butler right on his back and Dickinson covers.

[One.]

[Two.]

[Butler puts his boot on the bottom rope.]

Audience: TWOOOOOOOO!

Thunderbolt Smith: ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler was this close to losing the belt!

[Butler back up. Dickinson unloads another right hand. Then he sends the TV champion up and over the top rope. Dickinson turns his back on him and tries to catch his breath. He doesn’t see Butler roll right back into the ring. He taps Dickinson on the shoulder and blasts him with a right hand. Another right hand. Dickinson fires back with a right. He puts Butler’s head between his legs.]

Thunderbolt Smith: What is he doing?

Rick Hall: Piledriver.

[But Butler blocks and back body drops Dickinson up and over the top rope.]

Thunderbolt Smith: BUTLER REVERSES AND SENDS TO THE FLOOR!

[Butler falls to a knee and tries to catch his breath. Dickinson goes for a walk around the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Who wants it more?

[Dickinson crawls up to the ring apron. Butler slides his head under his arm and grabs the tights. He lifts him up and back in the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler suplexes Dickinson back into the ring!

[Butler immediately covers.]

Thunderbolt Smith: For the win!

[One.]

[Two.]

[Dickinson rolls him over into a small package.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[THREE!]

[Keels calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: HE DID IT!

The audience cheers as Davey Keels hands Dickinson the TV belt.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner…and NEW…TELEVISION CHAMPION! ‘REDNECK’ BILL DICKINSON!

Thunderbolt Smith: ‘REDNECK’ BILL DICKINSON IS THE NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!

Rick Hall: Dickinson delivered a lot of punishment but wins the belt by catching Butler asleep.

[Butler has to be kept back by Davey Keels.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler’s furious. But you’re right, Rick. Dickinson caught him napping and a simple roll up wins him the Television title.

[Dickinson taunts Butler with the title belt.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We’re going to take a commercial break. When we return, ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann will announce who will team up with P.M.C. Banks against the tag team champions the Island of Misfit Wrestlers at MVWA 77. We’ll be right back.

===

COMMERCIAL BREAK

A package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a campground. There’s a truck with a camper in the bed parked in a forest area with plenty of trees.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky presents *BLEEP*-ing with McGill.

Three men sit around a campfire. The one on the left is crouched down on the ground munching on a piece of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. The other two are drinking coffee from a mug.  

There’s a rustling by an old barn where four trash cans are located. All four are overflowing over the top. All three look over and see Dawn McGill with an empty water bottle in her hand. She’s wearing shorts and a tank top as she’s out for a run.

Dawn McGill: Hey guys. Do you know if there’s any other trash receptacles nearby?

The crouching guy snacking on the beef jerky gets an idea. He reaches into his rucksack and pulls out one of those trick cans that sprays out plastic snakes when you open it up.

Guy #1: Hey guys.

He shows the can to the others.

Dawn McGill: Um. You do know that I can hear you, right?

The other two snicker at the idea. The man on the far right who’s wearing a plaid lumberjack jacket points to a rock in front of Dawn and the other guy ‘sneaks’ over there with the can.

Dawn McGill: Okay. You do know that I can see you sneaking up here.

The other two watch as the guy places the can on the rock, with Dawn observing him, and then ‘sneaks’ back to the campfire.

Dawn looks down at the can.

Dawn McGill: All right. I know what’s inside the can. I’m going to open it up. These plastic thingys are going to come flying out. And then I’m going to have to do something really bad to you guys.

The three campers simply stare at her.

Dawn sighs.

Dawn McGill: Okay…fine.

She opens the can. Two plastic snakes fly out and the campers begin to laugh. Dawn gives out a ‘look’ that says ‘seriously?’ She exhales, turns, and runs into the woods.

The three campers scurry towards their camper just as Dawn comes back out with a rather ominous looking weapon in hand.

Guy #2 (panicked shout): OH *BLEEP*, SHE’S GOT AN RPG!

Guy #3 (even more panicked): RUN!

As the campers veer off into the woods, Dawn smiles…aims…and fires the Rocket Propelled Gernade into the camper and blows it up.

Final scene: a package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky superimposed over the burning truck and the debris field around it.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. Feed your irrationally foolish side.

===

[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: MVWA 77 is this Saturday night at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois. Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s Champion Ray McAvay will be putting his title on the line against challenger and former friend Charlie Blackwell. MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy will be defending her belt against the winner of the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin / Lisa Barbosa-Stevens match later tonght. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers will put their tag belts on the line against the Sports Entertainment Corporation’s P.M.C. Banks and a wrestler to be named in just a few minutes. MVW CEO Jill Berg announce the full card later on tonight.

Rick Hall: Missouri Valley Wrestling also hits the road for one show this week. Wednesday September 27th, MVW rolls into Mason City, Iowa for some good time wrestling action.  Scheduled on the card… TV Champion ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson takes on ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler in a non-title match…The Kardoucheian Empire…and Bo Stevens will be on hand.

UPCOMING MVW SHOWS:

September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Joseph J. Gentile Arena / Chicago, IL
October 7th – Jacksonville, IL
October 8th – Peoria, IL
October 9th – Keokuk, IA
October 12th – Grinnell, IA
October 14th – Fort Dodge, IA
October 15th – Omaha, NE
October 16th – Kearney, NE
October 21st – Columbus, IN
October 22nd – Terre Haute, IN
October 23rd – Michigan City, IN
October 26th – Hannibal, MO
October 30th – MVWA 78
– St. Louis Convention Center / St. Louis, MO

===

[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Okay. If you’re just joining us, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson just defeated ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler to become the new MVW Television champion.

Rick Hall: And again, if you’re in Mason City, Iowa this Wednesday night, Dickinson and Butler will go at it again. You’ll want to check that out.

Thunderbolt Smith: All right. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is in the ring and we are about to find out just who will be teaming up with P.M.C. Banks this Saturday against the Island of Misfit Wrestlers for the tag team title.

Tessa Martin, P.M.C. Banks, Charlie Blackwell, Regina McGill, Mr. McMann

[Cut to the ring. McMann, SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, Charlie Blackwell, P.M.C. Banks, and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin are in the ring. Also there, Mark Splitter of the Corporate Sports (Entertainment) Programming Nation. Also at ringside and watching with great interest are ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill is outside the ring with her arms folded with the Island of Misfit Wrestlers Rah and ‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis.]

‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis, Rah, and ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill

Thunderbolt Smith: The last time McMann, Splitter, and McGill were in the same building?

(PCW Political War on P-SPAN – May 5th, 2017)

[PCW Owner Dawn McGill, on crutches due to the attack on her knee the week before at a Missouri Valley Wrestling show, walked out on stage accompanied by her friend – who also just happened to be Russian – Svetlana Kovaleski…]

[McGill confronts Mr. McMann.]

Dawn McGill: …you don’t get it. …  PCW is not here for you. PCW is not here for Mark Splitter. PCW is not here for the Sports Entertainment Corporation. PCW is not here for the American Patriots. PCW is not here for the Progressive Alliance. PCW is here for…the fans.

[McGill pauses for the resulting ovation.]

Dawn McGill: That’s right. From the beginning, when we stopped the practice of liberally giving out free tickets to a PCW shows and opened up the front sections of seats to ordinary folks instead to VIP’s and political friends- PCW has been about the people. Do you know who’s not for the people?

[McGill points at McMann and Splitter.]

Dawn McGill: You aren’t…

[McGill turns and points to the back.]

Dawn McGill: …the American Patriots aren’t and neither are the Progressive Alliance. You aren’t turning PCW into your own personal BCS and excluding wrestlers from title contention. No. That’s not happening on my watch.

[McMann then got in McGill’s face.]

Mr. McMann: You need to be careful and stay in your lane. There’s a lot of money riding on Loose Cannons Unleashed and I’m not going to allow you to-

*THWACK*

*THWACK…THWACK…THWACK*

[McGill bent the steel crutch with three shots to the top of McMann’s head. Splitter reached out to grab McGill…]

*THWACK*

[McGill nails him with the crutch (now bent at a ninety degree angle) and sends Splitter spinning to the floor.]

[Close up on McGill. Pensive. Checks her nails. She leans over and whispers something to Rah- who’s also at ringside with his minions. Happy Mango is next to him. Halitosis is right behind them. No BronzeBeach Suntan Bikini Team though tonight.]

Thunderbolt Smith: I wonder what’s going through her mind right now.

Rick Hall: Get him the *BLEEP* away from my feet.

Thunderbolt Smith: Huh?

[Close up on Rah’s minion, Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy. He’s on all fours in front of Dawn and admiring her feet from an uncomfortably close range.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh.

[Mr. McMann has the microphone.]

Mr. McMann: And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. But first, before we bring out the wrestler who will help bring the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team title to the SEC at MVWA 77 next week in Chicago, Illinois, I’d like to turn the floor over to the official mouthpiece of the SEC- Phil Finebaum.

[Finebaum takes the microphone.]

Phil Finebaum: Thank you Mr. McMann.

[Finebaum points to the audience.]

Phil Finebaum: MY FACTION IS BETTER THAN YOUR FACTION!

[The audience boos in response.]

The Sports Entertainment Corporation is Missouri Valley Wrestling’s premier faction. The SEC has a rabid fan base and sports entertainers who will be wearing gold sooner than later. The reason you’re here today is because of the SEC’s importance to MVW. Mr. McMann decided that we needed to partner with a large corporate entity who will help us get the word out. With us is our long time broadcast partner- Mark Splitter- the CEO from CSPN- the worldwide corporate forerunner in sports entertainment. This partnership will not only underscore the position of the SEC to MVW, it will magnify it. Mark?

[Splitter takes the microphone.]

Mark Splitter: Thank you Phil. Your undying passion for the SEC is truly inspirational. On behalf of CSPN, THE worldwide corporate forerunner in sports entertainment…

Thunderbolt Smith (v/o): Gotta get the corporate motto in there.

Mark Splitter: …we are thrilled to partner up again with Mr. McMann and the SEC in this venture. Sports entertainment in is our DNA. It’s hard not to figure out why CSPN would want to be associated with the SEC- given the quality of programming that Mr. McMann has produced. We are looking forward to helping the SEC gain its rightful spot at the top of Missouri Valley Wrestling.

[Splitter pulls an envelope out from his coat lapel. He hands it to a beaming Mr. McMann. McMann takes the microphone.]

Mr. McMann: Thank you Mark and especially thank you for the generous check you’ve given the SEC in support of Sports Entertainment and all the wonderful things it brings the pro wrestling world. It’s because of Mr. Splitter’s foresight that I am able to make the announcement we are making tonight. To bring in quality, you have to pay for it. Sometimes, you have to speculate to accumulate. It took a lot of money to bring this wrestler in to help us reach our corporate objective at MVWA 77.

Thunderbolt Smith (v/o): Who do you think it is?

Rick Hall (v/o): My money’s on Yamamoto Tanaka- the five time PCW champion who has a solid relationship with McMann.

Thunderbolt Smith (v/o): I was thinking the same thing.

Mr. McMann: I am excited to be in this ring. I am looking forward to MVWA 77. And ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce the wrestler who will represent the Sports Entertainment Corporation at MVWA 77 and tag with P.M.C. Banks…

The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area as the angelic voice of Lauryn Hill serenades the live crowd.

Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and take it slowly
Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and make you want me”

Thunderbolt Smith (v/o): Is THAT who I think it is?

The video screen lights up and a Texas flag flashes across the screen with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred. Texas Forever” branded into the flag. The crowd reaction is mixed as “Ready or Not” by Fugees plays throughout the PA system. As the chorus begins to fade there is one final image that is displayed across the screen and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters…..S-C-O-T-T S-T-E-V-E-N-S as “Hellraiser” by Motorhead begins to play.

Rick Hall (v/o): Son of a bitch. It is.

The boos and cheers intensify as the chorus hits the speakers, drawing out the man from Texas.

Thunderbolt Smith: IT’S ‘THE SCORPION’ SCOTT STEVENS!

Walking down the aisle, Stevens fists bumps some of his fans while raising a fist at a few of the more vocal bashers. As he finally gets to the ring, Stevens stares down Dawn McGill as he climbs the nearest turnbuckle.

Rick Hall: But why? He just signed a deal in New Orleans with arguably the best wrestling company in the world. He’s a part of a huge invasion angle! Why is he showing up at a minor, minor league wrestling event?

Stevens meets Mr. McMann in the middle of the ring. McMann slips him the envelope that Mark Splitter just gave him a few minutes before.

Rick Hall: Oh. That’s why.

Thunderbolt Smith: There was a big stare down between Stevens and McGill as he came out. They’ve not been on the best of terms since Stevens turned on her ex-husband Ray McAvay at the next to last ever High Octane Wrestling show last year and really did a number on his neck.

Rick Hall: He put McAvay out of action for a good six months.

[Mr. McMann back on the microphone.]

Mr. McMann: So now, the SEC is lock and loaded for MVWA 77. And we’re coming for your belts, Dawn.

[McGill ignores McMann and files her nails while trying to shoo Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy away from her feet.]

Mr. McMann: Oh, I see. Playing the Sports Entertainment Bimbo again. Well, Dawn? I give you full credit for getting the best out of what little talent you have to work with. But at MVWA 77, Rah and Halitosis will be no match for Scott Stevens and P.M.C. Banks.

[Paying no attention whatsoever to McMann, McGill signals to Rah and Halitosis that it’s time to bounce. That irks Mr. McMann.]

Mr. McMann: Let me make the clear, McGIll. *I* am the Sports Entertainment Genius. *I* put together a first class tag team with the help of CSPN’s Mark Splitter that the Missouri Valley Wrestling fans will want to see. You can’t run away and hide anymore.

*’Rough Justice’- Rolling Stones*

D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

[The crowd boos as D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired because of their extreme method of law enforcement, race out wearing police uniforms and dark sunglasses.]

One time you were my baby chicken
Now you’ve grown into a fox
And once upon a time I was your little rooster
Am I just one of your cocks?

Thunderbolt Smith: WHAT! IT’S ROUGH JUSTICE!

It’s rough justice, oh yeah!
You’re gonna have to trust me
It’s rough justice
But you know I never break your heart

[Ruff and Justice jump Rah and Halitosis. Ruff jams a taser into the side of Halitosis and zaps him.]

Thunderbolt Smith: TASER TO HALITOSIS!

[Justice tries to do the same thing. Rah knocks the taser out of his hand and they brawl. Justice lands a left hand. Rah comes back with a right.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Justice and Rah are throwing heavy punches back and forth.   No one is getting a clear advantage…SCOTT STEVENS IS UP ON THE TURNBUCKLE.

[Scott Stevens up on the corner turnbuckle. While Justice keeps Rah occupied, Stevens launches himself off the turnbuckle and spears Rah.]

Thunderbolt Smith: SPEAR FROM THE TOP ROPE! DOWN GOES RAH!

[Stevens pulls Rah back up. Boot to the gut. Spin. Grab back of neck. Drop.]

Thunderbolt Smith: TOXIC STING!

[Rah flops back after taking the Toxic Sting and splays out on the floor. Stevens goes over to a barely stirring Halitosis. Steven yanks him up from the floor. Boot to the gut. Spin. Grab back of neck. Drop.]

Thunderbolt Smith: TOXIC STING ON HALITOSIS!

[Halitosis lands on his back and his legs go up and over, flipping him over on his stomach.]

Rick Hall: What’s McGill doing?

[McGill rips off both her heel shoes and throws them to the ground.]

Thunderbolt Smith: She’s not going to take on all three of them, is she?

Rick Hall: Mr. McMann wanted the ‘real’ Dawn McGill. He just might get his wish.

[Stevens tells Ruff and Justice to back off.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Stevens waves Ruff and Justice off.

Rick Hall: These two have tangled before in HOW.

Thunderbolt Smith: And the PCW Reunion show.

[Stevens flips off McGill. But Charlie Blackwell jumps in and starts a conversation with her.]

Thunderbolt Smith: What is Charlie doing?

Rick Hall: He’s her cousin but I don’t think this is the best time for a family reunion.

[McGill and Blackwell do-se-do. Now McGill is in between Charlie and Scott Stevens.]

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s not a good place for her to be either.

[The words turn heated between Blackwell and McGill. Suddenly, McGill shoves Blackwell and knocks him off balance. Blackwell’s face turns red. He storms right back and starts shaking his finger at her.   P.M.C. Banks jumps in and pushes McGill hard. She stumbles back and runs into Scott Stevens.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh, oh.

Rick Hall: She definitely doesn’t want to be there.

[Before McGill can react, Stevens puts her in an inverted facelock and drops down driving the best of her head to the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: SCORPION DEATH DROP!

[Staring down at her, he motions to Ruff and Justice and gives them a job. They nod in acknowledgement and immediately reach underneath the ring. Ruff and Justice pull out a table and set it up.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We’ll that’s not good.

Rick Hall: Why didn’t Charlie Blackwell stop him? Why isn’t Charlie Blackwell stopping him?

[Stevens pulls McGill up by the hair and takes her to the ring apron. He climbs up on the ring apron and Ruff lifts Dawn up to him.]

Thunderbolt Smith: I don’t know but she’s family and he’s not stepping in here.

[Mr. McMann goes to the ropes and gets in Dawn’s face.]

Mr. McMann: And Dawn McGill still refuses to admit that she was wrong all along and join the SEC? All because she has always been there…FOR THE PEOPLE? Here’s a newsflash…*BLEEP* the people. What do big corporations care about? Making money. Right now, I don’t see Missouri Valley Wrestling playing big city arenas that attract big money. I see MVW running crappy small town shacks that don’t attract the money. With my vision and genius for sports entertainment, MVW will be playing the big arenas…the big venues…in the BIG cities all over the country. They won’t be doing shows in Mason City, Iowa where the revenue stream just isn’t good enough. Look, do you see politicians hobnobbing with people who don’t contribute to their campaigns? Hell, no. Why should pro wrestling be any different? Dawn McGill…you’ve made big mistake after big mistake in your career and tonight you are about to pay the price.

{Mr. McMann slaps Stevens in the back.]

Mr. McMann: Put her through the *BLEEP*-ing table.

[Stevens nods. He throws McGill up in the air and drives her through the table.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McGILL BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!

Rick Hall: That almost seemed a little personal.

[Standing over an unconscious McGill in the middle of the ruins of the table, Stevens does a throat slash gesture.]

Thunderbolt Smith: MR. McMANN GOT HIS MONEY’S WORTH TONIGHT. SCOTT STEVENS HAS WREAKED HAVOC HERE AND SINGLEHANDEDLY TAKEN OUT THE ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS AND PUT DAWN McGILL THROUGH A TABLE…

[Thunderbolt hears a commotion.]

Thunderbolt Smith: …now what?

[Happy Mango and Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy run out and point towards the carnage.]

Rick Hall: McAvay.

Thunderbolt Smith: Happy Mango and Bob Nye went to the back and got Ray McAvay!

[MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay emerges with his ever present Big Bertha Driver in his right hand. He points over to the Les Miserables section and suddenly, twenty-five people stand up en masse and charge towards the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAVAY AND THE LES MISERABLES ARE HEADED TO THE RING.

[Stevens braces for fight. He wants to stay and take them all on. McMann and Splitter think otherwise. Blackwell and Banks talk Stevens into a retreat for now and in the end, the SEC exits stage right.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Halitosis is down! Rah is down! Dawn McGill is down.

[McAvay goes over to McGill and checks on her condition. The MVW medical staff also arrive at ringside and tend to Rah and Halitosis.]

Thunderbolt Smith: I’m getting something from Blair Moise backstage.

Rick Hall: What now?

[Thunderbolt listens to someone talk in his earpiece.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Let’s go backstage!

===

BACKSTAGE

[Cut to backstage.]

Khourtney, Ken, Koley, and Khris Kardoucheian

[All four members of the Kardoucheian Empire: Ken, Koley, Khourtney and their father and matriarch of the family Khris stand over an unconscious Regina McGill.]


Regina McGill

[Blair steps into the shot.]


Blair Moise

Blair Moise: Thunderbolt, the SEC just sent a major message to the Island of Misfit Wrestlers and Dawn McGIll. The Kardoucheians may have just sent one to them as well. Dawn’s younger sister Regina McGill was minding her business backstage and ran into the Kardoucheians. They attacked her. Ken and Koley hit a doubleteam Star-Crossed Stunner on her put her on the floor.

[Close up on Ken and Koley Kardoucheian. They hold up a picture of Dawn McGill and rip it in half.]

Ken Kardoucheian (shouting hysterically): WE WERE LOOKING FOR DAWN McGILL, BUT SHE WAS TOO BUSY GETTING HER ASS KICKED BY THE S-E-C. SO WE FOUND THE NEXT BEST THING!

[He points down at Regina.]

Ken Kardoucheian: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH STAR POWER! AND MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING HAD BETTER START TREATING THEIR STARS WITH THE RESPECT WE ARE ENTITLED TO AND DESERVE! OR ELSE!

[The Kardoucheians depart. Medical personnel arrive and check Regina out.]

Blair Moise: The medical staff are going to be busy here for a while. Back to you Thunderbolt.

[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Rick Hall: You can tell we’re coming up on a big show. Tensions are riding a bit high and unresolved issues have reappeared. There’s clearly some unresolved family issues between Charlie Blackwell and Dawn McGill.

Thunderbolt Smith: For certain, but most petty, interfamily issues aren’t resolved with Scott Stevens giving someone the Scorpion Death Drop.

Rick Hall: In most cases, I’d say you’re correct. But I’m sure there’s some…

Thunderbolt Smith: We’re going to cut to a commercial break here while the medical staff takes care of things. We’ll be back in a moment.

===

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Fred’s Sr. Commercial Announcer Guy: It’s a Fred’s Sr. Burger Cash Cow commercial and you know what that means.

[The spot starts as Dark and Stormy, valets for Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s Champion Ray McAvay and wearing McAvay’s official ‘Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work.’ T-shirts (in white) and Daisy Duke Shorts, exit a Fred’s Sr. Burger Cash Cow restaurant.  The ladies walk in slow motion towards a pick-up truck hauling a trailer with a hot tub on it…each carrying a bag full of Fred’s Sr. Burger Cash Cow food.]

[They climb up onto the trailer and sit on the edge. Feet dangling from the trailer, Dark and Stormy each pull out a Carl’s Jr’s half pound Western Bacon Thickburger and begin to eat in a most sensuous stimulating way.]

[Cut to inside the store, a mother and her two teenage sons are dining. One of the son’s turns and stares at Dark and Stormy. Stormy, her brown hair ruffling in the artificially produced wind thanks to a huge off screen fan, sees the boy and waves.]

[Dark, her black hair also fluttering in the breeze, takes a huge bite from the sandwich and a massive glob of barbeque sauce that’s slathered onto the sandwich falls and stains her pearly white t-shirt. Of course, she’s horrified at the development. She slips off her pumps and climbs into the hot tub. While keeping the Thickburger high and dry, Dark then dunks herself into the water and rises back up. Her hair now wet…and the t-shirt too but thanks to strategic camera placing and shots, we don’t see any more of her than we really need to for mainstream television purposes.]

[The patrons in the restaurant?]

[Cut to the store. A crowd of people flood to the window.]

[Stormy takes a sizable bite of her Thickburger and, shocking, a major glob of barbeque sauce spills onto her white t-shirt. So she kicks off her shoes too and climbs in.]

[More people crowd up against the window.]

[Stormy drops into the water and comes back up. Again, strategic camera position protects America’s prying eyes from seeing more than they should.]

[The mother inside the store with the two teenage boys notices that they are missing. Where did they go?]

[The boys have their faces pressed up against the window and watch.]

[Back to the trailer, a strange man wearing a janitor’s uniform climbs up onto the trailer and hands Dark a supersized bottle of barbeque sauce. She slowly opens up the bottle and proceeds to pour it all over the burger, all over Stormy’s burger, and then all over herself. Being the helpful person she is, Stormy tries to clean up the massive mess her friend just made by licking the sauce off Dark’s shirt…and then her neck…and then her arms.]

[At that point, the crowd that used to be inside the store suddenly stream outside.]

Announcer Guy: Two for the price of one.

[Stormy pours some of the barbeque sauce on herself and Dark begins to lick it off her.]

Announcer Guy: Fred’s Sr. Burger Cash Cow’s Half Pound Western Thickburger

[Dark then begins to raise up Stormy’s shirt as the commercial ends.]

===

COMMERCIAL BREAK:

A package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky is superimposed on the front seat of the car Dawn McGill is driving. Eva McGill is seated in a child’s car seat in the back.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Beef Jerky presents *BLEEP*-ing with McGill.

Dawn is driving down the highway in a safe and legal manner when a BMW suddenly appears in the background. The car approaches Dawn at a high rate of speed and within seconds it right on her tailgate.

She checks her rearview mirror. The man in the BMW flashes his lights several times and continues to ride her rear bumper. He suddenly swerves left and passes Dawn, flipping her off as he passes. Then the man swerves right causing Dawn to hit the brakes to avoid a collision. The BMW then takes off.

Dawn turns to check on Eva.

Dawn McGill: Are you okay?

Eva McGill: Yes, Mommy.

Dawn McGill: Okay.

Dawn grits her teeth and hits a button on the console of the car. Suddenly, a digital display pops up on the dashboard and a cruise missile launcher rises up from the hood of her car.

She punches in a few numbers into the computer.

Dawn McGill: Take this…

She hits the ‘fire’ button.

The cruise missile takes off and flies towards its target.

The a-hole in the BMW glances at his rearview mirror and is horrified to see a cruise missile bearing down on him.

A-Hole: Oh shhhhh-

Dawn watches the car explode in a spectacular blast that sends car parts in all directions for several hundred feet.

Final scene: a package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky superimposed over what’s left of the car which burns in the middle of the highway surrounded by various parts and pieces of the shattered body of the car.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Beef Jerky. Feed your irrationally foolish side.

===

UPCOMING MVW SHOWS:

September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Joseph J. Gentile Arena / Chicago, IL
October 7th – Jacksonville, IL
October 8th – Peoria, IL
October 9th – Keokuk, IA
October 12th – Grinnell, IA
October 14th – Fort Dodge, IA
October 15th – Omaha, NE
October 16th – Kearney, NE
October 21st – Columbus, IN
October 22nd – Terre Haute, IN
October 23rd – Michigan City, IN
October 26th – Hannibal, MO
October 30th – MVWA 78
– St. Louis Convention Center / St. Louis, MO

===

[Cut to Blair Moise backstage with Charlie Blackwell.]


Charlie Blackwell

Blair Moise: Blair Moise here and I’ve just caught up with ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell of the SEC. Charlie? What happened out there a few minutes ago and why didn’t you come to your cousin Dawn’s aid?

Charlie Blackwell: Blair, the real issue here is why is ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay coming to the aid of Dawn McGill? Hey Ray! You left Dawn. You divorced her. You have no business running to the ring like a knight in shining armor for her. You don’t get to stand up for her anymore.

[Blackwell angrily points at himself.]

Charlie Blackwell: I’M family. I’M the one who stuck with her through thick and thin. I’M the one who’s trying to unravel the mess you left her. You and your basket of deplorables can keep your nose out of Dawn’s business from now on.

Blair Moise: Then why didn’t you stop Scott Stevens from McGill Bombing her through the table?

Charlie Blackwell: Blair, sometimes you have to show tough love to someone you care for in your family.   I’m sorry it happened. But Dawn is on the wrong side here.

[Blackwell points at the camera.]

Charlie Blackwell: McAVAY! You stay away from her. You get it?

[Blackwell whips around and exits.]

Blair Moise: Okay then. I also have a MVW newcomer with me who is also related to Scott Stevens- who was involved in the SEC-Island of Misfit Wrestlers fight a few minutes ago. He debuted last week on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling…Bo Stevens.


Bo Stevens

[Bo Stevens and Ted Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost black sheep brother no one ever knew existed edge into the frame.]

Blair Moise: Bo, welcome to Missouri Valley Wrestling.

Bo Stevens: Thank you Blair.

Blair Moise: What was your impression on what happened earlier?

Bo Stevens: You know what, Blair? I know there’s been a lot of bad blood between my cousin Scott and Dawn McGill…I know there’s been a lot of problems between Mr. McMann and Dawn McGill. I was kind of part of it last year. It’s crazy.

Blair Moise: I remember that. But now you’re back and this time, you’re back as a singles wrestler.

Bo Stevens: I debuted last week. I got a win so that’s good. I’ve been working on the house show circuit. I’m just trying to go out there with a little BO-lief…

[Tebow drops to one knee and bows his head while placing his balled left fist against his forehead (aka…‘Tebows’) when Bo says BO-lief.]

Bo Stevens: …trying to look good…trying to impress so I might have a match next week. I’m putting my wares out on the shop window and hoping to get a match at MVWA 77. It’s all about having BO-lief.

[Tebow ‘Tebows’ again.]

Blair Moise: BO-lief?

[Tebow ‘Tebows’ again.]

Bo Stevens: Yes. BO-lief.

[Tebow ‘Tebows’ again. Blair gives him a crooked eye.]

Blair Moise: Well, Bo-

[Tebow ‘Tebows’ again.]

Blair Moise: Um…I wasn’t going to say BO-lief.

[Tebow ‘Tebows’ again.]

Blair Moise: Oh…never mind. We all know the Stevens family is legendary in the Texas wrestling world. What will Bo Stevens add to their legacy?

Bo Stevens: Yes. The Stevens Dynasty dates back to Scott’s father Cary who was huge in Texas back in the territory days. Scott and his brothers George and Ricky have all done their part to further the legacy and I’ve been training for the past few years and I’m ready to take my shot.

Blair Moise: How daunting is it to have to live up to those type of expectations?

Bo Stevens: Blair, I try not to think about it. I’m working hard and going out there and doing my part. I know it’s going to be a long road. I appreciate the fact that Missouri Valley Wrestling is giving me a chance. When I step into the ring, I just have to have a little-

Blair Moise: Let me guess…BO-lief.

[Tebow ‘Tebows’ again.]

Bo Stevens: Exactly.

Blair Moise: Back to you Thunderbolt.

===

[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: All right. Friday night in Mount Vernon, Illinois…there was two semi-final matches in the Women’s number one contender’s tournament.

(Friday Night- ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. Kathryn Randall Collins / MVW House Show – Mount Vernon, IL)

Tess tries to beat KRC down. KRC nails her with a right hand. She whips Tess to the ropes and plants her with a spinebuster. KRC then sends Tess to the floor. Tess avoids the plancha and hits a shooting star press off the apron. Both back in and Tess misses the lariat and KRC trips her up. She goes for the Gogoplata but Tess escapes. KRC jumps up. Tess kicks her in the midsection, turn, Pizza Cutter. Tess covers- one…two…three.

(Friday Night- Lisa Barbosa-Stevens vs. ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot / MVW House Show- Mount Vernon, IL)

Stevens hit ta running knee strike and covers. Harlot kicks out at 2. Harlot up and walks right into a RANA into an arm bar. Harlot fights out of it and just barely makes the ropes. Stevens lays in a series of kicks. Harlot misses the lariat and Stevens finishes her off with the Toxic Sting for the win.

Thunderbolt Smith: So, it came down to ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens. They met last night in Evansville, Indiana for an opportunity to face MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy for the title. Let’s go back to last night and the match.

=====================

MAIN EVENT / WOMEN’S TITLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER’S MATCH (Taped at MVW House Show in Evansville, Indiana)


‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin with the SEC (‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, MVW Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, Charlie Blackwell, P.M.C. Banks and CSPN CEO Mark Splitter)

vs.


Lisa Barbosa-Stevens

======================

[Cut to Roberts Stadium in Evansville, Indiana. The lower bowl of the arena and floor is full. The Sports Entertainment Corporation talks to Tess and give her encouragement.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We are ready to go. Davey Keels is your referee.

[Keels calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING*

[Lisa charges forward and bumps into Tess.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Lisa’s going nose to nose with Tess right from the beginning.

[Tess takes exception and says a few unkind things. She goes for a clothesline. Lisa ducks under. Forearm by Lisa. And a second one. The third forearm drives Tess into the corner. And a fourth. Lisa takes Tess by the hair and walks her down to the other corner, slamming her head on the turnbuckle. Lisa goes for a third corner but Tess blocks. Elbow to the gut. Right hand by Tess. And then she slams Lisa headfirst into the turnbuckle.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Fast start.

Rick Hall: Both women want a shot at the MVW Women’s champion. You’ll won’t see any holding back.

[Tess whips Lisa all the way across the ring. Tess rushes in; Lisa gets the boot up and spins her around. Lisa sets Tess up and hits a knife-edged chop. Lisa with a second chop. And a third.   Lisa starts to go for another one…Tess steps in and blocks. Knee lift by the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl lifts Lisa off the ground. Right hand to the back of the neck by Tess. She runs the ropes and runs right into Lisa’s boot coming off.]

Rick Hall: Both ladies seem to have well scouted the other out.

Thunderbolt Smith: Tess has rolled out of the ring and confers with her SEC teammates.

[Lisa over to the ropes above them and yells at Tess to get back in the ring. Charlie Blackwell threatens to jump on the ring apron. Lisa runs and tries to get at her. Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks block her. Referee Keels quickly over to make sure the SEC doesn’t get involved. While Lisa chats with Keels, Tess sneaks in and shoves Lisa into the ringpost.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Lisa needs get back into the ring and away from the SEC.

[Tess whips Lisa into the steel barricade. Then Tess whips Lisa into the ringpost.   She goes to splash Lisa against the post…Lisa rolls away and Tess hits the post instead.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Tess hits the post shoulder first.

[Lisa back in the ring.]

Rick Hall: That’s where she needs to be. Too many numbers down there.

–cut—

[Tess lets out a scream as Lisa has her arm trapped in the Fujiwara Armbar.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Lisa’s got it cinched in but Tess is clawing for every inch she can to get to the ropes.

[With every ounce of strength she has, Tess maneuvers herself around to where she can reach out for the bottom rope.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Tess almost there.

[She grabs the rope and slips under. Tess rolls out of the ring and drags Lisa with her.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Both women outside.

[Keels checks on both Tess and Lisa. He starts the count.]

[One. The audience joins in.]

Audience: TWO!

[Both women rock back and forth trying to get back up.]

Audience: THREE!

Audience: FOUR!

Thunderbolt Smith: Could we have a double count-out?

Audience: FIVE!

[Finally, Lisa pulls herself up from the floor. She staggers over to Tess. The SEC wanders close by. Blackwell, Banks, Mr. McMann, and Finebaum. Tess gets up to all fours. Lisa extends her hand to…help her up?]

Thunderbolt Smith: Is she doing what I think she’s doing?

Rick Hall: It looks like Lisa is offering Tess a hand.

[Tessa hesitates…then reluctantly accepts her assistance. Lisa pulls Tess back to her feet.]

Thunderbolt Smith: An odd time for sportsmanship.

[Tess and Lisa lock eyes. Mutual respect. Well, at least for a couple seconds. Lisa suddenly kicks Tess in the gut…turn…grabs the back of her neck…drops.]

Thunderbolt Smith: TOXIC STING ON THE FLOOR!

Rick Hall: She double-crossed her, Thunderbolt!

Thunderbolt Smith: And the SEC are right there.

[Indeed, Blackwell, Banks et…al… watch with interest. But they do not take any action towards Lisa. In fact, Lisa nods at them when she passes right through them to go back to the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Lisa just walked past the SEC and back into the ring.

[Lisa back in the ring. Keels starts another count.]

[One.]

Audience: TWO!

Audience: THREE!

Audience: FOUR!

[Tess starts to stir.]

Audience: FIVE!

Audience: SIX!

Audience: SEVEN!

[Tess sits up. She tries to get up.]

Audience: EIGHT!

Audience: NINE!

Audience: TEN!

[Keels calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: LISA BARBOSA-STEVENS WINS!

[The SEC join her in the ring.]

Rick Hall: And the SEC has turned on Tessa Martin!

[Tess up and sees Lisa celebrating in the ring with the SEC. She’s incredulous.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens will face MVW Women’s champion Christa Carmondy next week at MVWA 77 for the title.

===

[Cut to a video of MVW CEO Jill Berg.]

Jill Berg: Okay folks. Here’s the card for MVWA 77.

OPENING MATCH:
Ninja Kitty vs. ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris

Bo Stevens vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido

The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja (Hank and Tiny with Stan and April O’Neale) and ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler vs. The Kardoucheians (Ken, Koley, and Khourtney with Khris) vs. Weapons of Mass Destruction (A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb with Daisy Cutter-Bomb) and ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson

3 WAY DANCE:
Yosemite Samantha vs. ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot vs. Kathryn Randall Collins

MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The Island of Misfit Wrestlers (Rah and Halitosis with Dawn McGill) © vs. The SEC (‘The Scorpion’ Scott Stevens and P.M.C. Banks)

MVW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Christa Carmondy © vs. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens with the SEC

MAIN EVENT / MVW MEN’S TITLE:
‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay © vs. ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell with the SEC

 

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About Art Nouveaux

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