MVW Sunday Night Wrestling- September 17th

Challenger ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson (standing) on the warpath.  Will he win the MVW Television Title from ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler tonight?

Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann’s Office

Tessa Martin, P.M.C. Banks, Charlie Blackwell, Regina McGill, Mr. McMann

[McMann, SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, Charlie Blackwell, P.M.C. Banks, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, and Regina McGill all sit around a table. McMann glances down occasionally at a binder containing his notes and talking points.]

[The SEC watches the latest episode of ‘Krampin’ Up with the Kardoucheians.]

(Krampin’ Up with the Kardoucheians)
[Filmed at last week’s MVW Sunday Night Wrestling show. The Kardoucheians invade the Island of Misfit Wrestlers/Rough Justice match.]

Khris (voiceover): Finally, after weeks of being disrespected by Missouri Valley Wrestling…and especially Dawn McGill…it was time to show the world that you don’t *BLEEP* with the Kardoucheians.

[Ruff cranks the arm away from Halitosis, and pressures the shoulder joint. When the referee becomes distracted, Ruff tasers Halitosis.]

[Justice tasers Rah when he tries to get into the ring to help Halitosis.]

[Dawn McGill then gets on the ring apron. Ken and Koley Kardoucheian cut through the ring and hit a stereo dropkick to McGill, sending her flying off the ring apron and landing hard on the floor.]

[Khourtney and Khris also climb into the ring.   Khris goes up to Connor Justice and hands him an envelope. Justice opens it up and there’s a wad of cash inside.]

[The Kardoucheian’s film crew gets a close up of the dazed McGill as Ken and Koley drag her up.]


Koley Kardoucheian: YEAH!

[Ken and Koley set up on each side of McGill- who’s still out of it.]

Koley Kardoucheian: WATCH THIS!

[They drive McGill face first to the floor and knock her out.]

Ken Kardoucheian: YEAH!

[Ken and Koley high five over Dawn as she lays face first on the floor.]


[The camera do a close up on Dawn while she’s now handcuffed to the middle rope. Legs buckling, she hangs off the ropes held up by the handcuffs.]

[Khris gloats off to the side and points at her.]

Khris Kardoucheian: McGill, I’ve dedicated my life and my children’s lives to this business. And you and your ilk aren’t going to do anything to take it away. Let me tell you something else, Miss McGill. Regardless if these people like me or whatever they all may think of me, you, Dawn McGill, have no chance against me. I’m a star. That’s right, I’m a star and I’m going to do everything I have to do to keep you or anyone else from taking our spotlight.

[Khris reaches out and grabs Dawn by the face.]

Khris Kardoucheian: I’m a star, Dawn McGill, and I’m going to do everything in my power to destroy you.

[Khris then mashes his mouth against Dawn’s- mocking her penchant for making out with referee Davey Keels and random fans. When he’s done, Dawn’s head flops down again.]

Mr. McMann: So with that, I have come to the conclusion that we need to adjust our plan to entice Dawn McGill to join the SEC. In order to achieve our corporate objective, I believe we should now let the Kardoucheians do the heavy lifting from the wrestling side. It’s clear that the Kardoucheians will be useful in that endeavor. However, I still believe we can assert pressure on her from a more ‘personal’ angle. So with that in mind…

[McMann turns to Blackwell.]

Mr. McMann: Charlie. You’re Dawn’s certified financial planner. She trusts you implicitly with her money.

Charlie Blackwell: She does.

Mr. McMann: I need you to capitalize on her trust and find some way to cut off her cash flow.

Charlie Blackwell: Cut off her cash flow?

Mr. McMann: Yes. Squeeze her on money. Come up with some scheme that she’s still recovering from her massive overinvestment in trying to keep PCW alive and money is tight. We can use that to leverage the fact if she joined the SEC she would have a near unlimited source of cash.

[Blackwell seems a little uneasy at the request. He jots down some notes.]

Mr. McMann: And I now believe that turning Dawn’s best friend and sister against her as run its course as a way to coerce her to join the SEC.

[That gets Tessa and Regina’s attention.]

Mr. McMann: Let’s go to agenda item number two.

[McMann clicks on a remote to change the video on the screen to a photo of new MVW signee Lisa Barbosa-Stevens.]

Mr. McMann: Lisa Barbosa-Stevens.

[Both Tessa and Regina shake their heads.]

Mr. McMann: For some reason, MVW CEO Jill Berg decided to bring her back in without consulting me. Personally, I don’t understand why. The women’s division on balance is pretty stacked from top to bottom.

Tessa Martin: Lisa is one more obstacle we’ll have to clear to reach our objective.

Mr. McMann: Yes. But not an insurmountable one. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens washed out of the SEC.

Regina McGill: If I remember right, she used the SEC for her own personal gain and then walked out.

[SEC mouthpiece Phil Finebaum pipes out.]

Phil Finebaum: Rubbish. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens couldn’t cut it in the SEC. The SEC is the premier sports entertainment faction in pro wrestling. She needs us more than we need her.

Mr. McMann: We will have ample opportunity to deal with Barbosa-Stevens during the Women’s title Number One Contender tournament.

[McMann turns the page on his binder.]

Mr. McMann: Okay…now, we need to have a talk about personnel.

[This gets everyone’s attention.]

Mr. McMann: Now, I know that I said before that we were going with two men, two women wrestlers. But circumstances have forced me to make an adjustment to that plan.

{He glances at Charlie Blackwell.]

Mr. McMann: Charlie. I’ve decided that you need to focus on the Men’s title so we’re going to need to pick up a tag team partner for P.M.C. Banks.

[Blackwell and Banks both nod.]

Mr. McMann: Unfortunately, since the SEC is capped at four wrestlers, this means that we’re going to have to cut one of the ladies loose.

[Tessa and Regina look pensive.]

Mr. McMann: Tess and Regina, you both have been loyal and faithful members of the SEC. But this is the cold, harsh reality of how the corporate world works. So, tonight on Sunday Night Wrestling, both of you will wrestle for your spot in the SEC. Remember ladies, winners get to play…losers…have to pay.

MVW Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday September 17th, 2017
MVW Television Studio
St. Louis, MO
Hosts: Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall

***Ten Bell Tribute to Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan**

[Opening shot- Camera pans around the ring. There’s just over a hundred people inside the MVW Television studio.]

[Crowd applause]

[Cut to Thunderbolt Smith and Rick Hall inside the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Hello and welcome to MVW Sunday Night Wrestling…brought to you by Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky and Fred Sr.’s Burger Cash Cow!

[More applause.]

Thunderbolt Smith: I am Thunderbolt Smith. He is ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.

[Hall waves.]

Rick Hall: Yo.

Thunderbolt Smith: Tonight, Television Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler puts his title on the line against the three hundred thirty pound Southern brawler ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson in the main event.

Rick Hall: Two weeks ago, Butler and Dickinson had at it. Butler hit the Tombstone piledriver and the Cowboy came away with the TV belt.

Thunderbolt Smith: Also on the card…as you heard earlier…we’re going to have a SEC women’s elimination match between ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Regina McGill.   The loser of the match is kicked out of the SEC.

Rick Hall: It was a shock to everyone when both Tessa Martin and Regina McGill joined up with ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and his Sports Entertainment Corporation. McMann hoped to use both Tess and Regina to get at Dawn McGill. Obviously, that plan didn’t work out to Mr. McMann’s specs. And now after tonight, one of them will be expelled from the SEC.

Thunderbolt Smith: And speaking of the Women’s division, we’re also going to show highlights from this past Wednesday night’s MVW House show in Effingham, Illinois featuring three matches in the Women’s Number One Contender tournament. The three winners and the Tessa/Regina victor will then wrestle next weekend during Friday night’s MVW House show in Fort Wayne, Indiana with the winner meeting for the number one contender spot Saturday night in Valparaiso, Indiana.

Rick Hall: The winner will take on Women’s champion Christa Carmondy opponent at MVWA 77, September 30th at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois.

Thunderbolt Smith: And also, MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay and Canadian Jack Fraiser…

Rick Hall: And his Oootlander Blaire Rendell.

Thunderbolt Smith: …and his Oootlander will be tagging here tonight against ‘My idol…your Idol’ Willie Idol and Bobby Starr

Rick Hall: Given what went down last week between McAvay and Charlie Blackwell, we’ll see if the Men’s champion has any comment about what happened.

Thunderbolt Smith: I believe Blair Moise will get Ray McAvay’s thoughts about the Kardoucheian’s attack on his ex-wife last week later on. We’ll hear from the Television Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler and his opponent ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson before their match. But right now, let’s go to the ring where we’re going to get our first look at Bo Stevens. Kimber Marshall is our ring announcer and she’s ready to go.

Kimber Marshall

[Cut to Kimber in the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our first match of the night is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Already in the ring and accompanied by his wife, Mrs. Wrestling Thirty-Four. Please welcome…MISTER WRESTLING THIRTY-FOUR!

[The masked wrestler, Mr. Wrestling XXXIV, raises his arms and the crowd politely applauds.]

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…from Houston, Texas…making his Missouri Valley Wrestling in ring debut tonight.

[Bo Stevens, accompanied by manager Ted Tebow (Tim Tebow’s Long Lost, Black Sheep Borther No Knew He Ever Had) walk deliberately towards the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: …he is a member of the esteemed Stevens wrestling family. BO! STEEEEE-VENS!

Bo Stevens

[Bo hits the ring with Tebow and goes right over and climbs up a ringpost. He raises his arms as the audience respectfully claps.]



Bo Stevens with Ted Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost, Black Sheep Brother No Knew He Ever Had
Mr. Wrestling XXXIV w/Mrs. Wrestling XXXIV

Referee: Ron Martin


[The audience shouts as Stevens confers with Tebow one more time.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We’ve got a vocal group here tonight as Bo Stevens takes on Mr. Wrestling XXXIV here on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

Rick Hall: They are really, really ready for this opening bout.

[Referee Ron Martin calls for the bell.]


Thunderbolt Smith: And here we go.

[Both men circle. Stevens moves in quickly and drives his knee into Mr. Wrestling XXXIV’s midsection. Looping right hand to the back of the neck sends Mr. Wrestling XXXIV to one knee. Another right. Then a third right hand from Stevens. He scoops Mr. Wrestling XXXIV up and slams him to the mat.   Stevens lays the boots to his downed opponent and then pulls him back up to his feet. He looks over at Tebow. Tebow puts his boot up on the second rope. Stevens slams Mr. Wrestling XXXIV’s head into the boot.]

Ted Tebow: YEAH!

[Stevens lifts Mr. Wrestling XXXIV up and drops him neck first over the top rope. Referee Ron Martin admonishes Stevens. Mr. Wrestling XXXIV gets up and swings a wild right hand. Stevens ducks and connects with a heart punch…that does nothing.]

[Mr. Wrestling XXXIV shrugs. Stevens boots him in the midsection bending Mr. Wrestling over. The Texan runs the ropes and comes off hitting a big boot that screws Mr. Wrestling XXXIV into the mat. Stevens covers and referee Martin slides in for the count.]



[Th-…Mr. Wrestling XXXIV kicks out.]


[Mr. Wrestling XXXIV back to his feet. Stevens takes a front facelock and lifts and suspends him in the air upside down. Stevens falls backwards and slams Mr. Wrestling XXXIV to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Nice Suplex by Stevens.

Rick Hall: He calls it a Bo-Plex

[Stevens back up and drops the knee on Mr. Wrestling XXXIV. He drops a second knee and makes a grand spectacle of it. He drives a third knee onto Mr. Wrestling XXXIV and leaps into the air to celebrate. Stevens goes over and fist bumps Tebow.

Thunderbolt Smith: You maybe shouldn’t give a wily veteran like Mr. Wrestling Thirty-Four time to regroup. You never know when…

Mr. Wrestling XXXIV stumbles back to his feet. Stevens runs by…takes him by the back of the head…jumps up on the corner ringpost…pushes off and swings his feet over Mr. Wrestling XXXIV’s head and drives the head to the mat.]


Rick Hall: Drove Mr. Wrestling Thirty-Four to the mat.

[Stevens covers.]




[Martin calls for the bell.]


Thunderbolt Smith: And Bo Stevens wins.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner…BO! STEEEEEEEEE-VENS!

Ted Tebow: BO DID IT! BO DID IT!

[Tebow jumps into the ring and high fives Stevens.]

Ted Tebow: BO DID IT! BO DID IT!

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, Ted Tebow is excited about Bo Stevens winning his first MVW match.

Rick Hall: Okay…okay, Ted, simmer down there. Bo just won his first match with a nice Bo-Dog…a running bulldog out of the corner to take the rest of the fight out of the veteran Mr. Wrestling Thirty-Four.

Thunderbolt Smith: All right, an impressive debut for Bo Stevens. We heard from the Kardoucheian Empire earlier in the show. We’re going to hear now from the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions- The Island of Misfits Wrestlers.



[Cut to Blair Moise]

Blair Moise

Blair Moise: Blair Moise backstage with the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions- The Island of Misfit Wrestlers.

‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis, Rah- The Sunshine God, and ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill

[Moise motions as Rah- the Sunshine God, ‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis, and ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill step into the shot. Rah’s followers fall in behind them: folk singer Happy Mango, Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy, and the ten members of the BronzeBeach Suntan Bikini Team.]

[McGill lets out a giggle- playing up the fact that she’s acting like Sports Entertainment Barbie. She’s wearing metallic silver lipstick tonight and holds a de-chromed trailer hitch in her hand (hint- see the scene with Jenny McCarthy in Baseketball).]

[Rah adjusts his sunglasses and tries to act cool.]

Blair Moise: Last week, you were viciously attacked by the Kardoucheian Empire.

[Halitosis steps forward to answer the question. Blair puts up the stop sign.]

Blair Moise: Not too close.

Halitosis: Right.

[Halitosis sprays some breath freshener into his mouth.]

Halitosis: Um, that’s correct, Ms. Moise. The Kardoucheians really kicked our butt.

[Blair waits for more…then she continues.]

Blair Moise: So, how do you respond to that?

Halitosis: What the Kardoucheians did last week was…not a very nice thing to do…to us. I guess they’ve been upset with us.

Blair Moise: Yes, they are upset with you ever since Jill Berg chose the Island of Misfit Wrestlers to represent MVW at the 4CW tag team tournament.

Halitosis: Right. That’s my understanding too.

[Blair again waits for him to elaborate. He doesn’t.]

[McGill looks a little annoyed at Halitosis but continues to play the blonde Barbie and smiles while playing with the trailer hitch.]

[Moise tries to lead the conversation.]

Blair Moise: But it seemed as if the focus of the attack was on your valet, ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill.

Halitosis: Um…yes. I thought that was a little uncalled for.

[Again, Blair waits for him to elaborate. Her left hand makes the little circle motion to signal Halitosis to keep going. McGill’s eyes follow Blair’s hand and she waits for Halitosis to go on.]

Halitosis: Really uncalled for.

[Blair sighs.]

Blair Moise (mildly irritated voice): Okay. So what are you going to do about it?

Halitosis: I’m going to have to up my game. My breath was bad before. I’m going to have to make it even worse.

[McGill glares impatiently at Halitosis.]

Halitosis: I’m going to have to take my bad breath to the next level, Blair. Because victory is just a breath away.

[Blair goes to Rah and sticks the microphone in his face.]

Blair Moise: Okay. Rah. The Kardoucheians tasered you and Halitosis last week and attacked Dawn McGill. Thoughts.

[Rah peers over his sunglasses.]

Rah: That was not a cool thing to do.

[And again, Blair waits for an elaboration.]

Blair Moise: And…why was that not a cool thing for them to do?

Rah: I think it’s pretty obvious, Blair. Rah is about doing good stuff. What the Kardoucheians did was really bad. And tasers really, really hurt-

[Finally, McGill can’t take it anymore. She snaps out of Sports Entertainment Barbie mode and rips the microphone out of Blair’s hand.]

Dawn McGill: All right. You want something Blair, I’ll give you something.

[She turns to the camera.]

Dawn McGill: Hey Khris Kardoucheian. It’s pretty sad that the only way you can get a woman to kiss you is by knocking her out and then handcuffing her so she can’t get away. The only reason your son Ken Kardoucheian is even remotely considered to be a star is because you had to pay some ring rat to do it with him and then leaked a sex tape of it just to get attention. Well done…

[McGill mock claps.]

Dawn McGill: You know what’s going on here. You’re jealous. That’s right. You’re jealous, Khris. You’re *BLEEP*-ing jealous. This summer, your boys didn’t do jack to put themselves in a position where Jill Berg trusted them to represent Missouri Valley Wrestling at the 4CW Tag Team tournament. Rah and Halitosis did. They worked their asses off to earn that opportunity to participate in the 4CW tag team tournament and while we didn’t do as well as we hoped we would, the fact remains that the team that we lost to would have kicked your asses all over the ring. These two are in the best shape of their lives. Why? Because I busted their asses for over two months to get them into shape. I’m tired of listening to you and your pathetic sons bitch and moan about being disrespected. You expect Jill Berg to hand everything to you on a silver platter.   You really thought you could also walk right into a title shot against Rah and Halitosis. Well, guess what? You have to earn that spot and when that time came last week, Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks completely outclassed your boys. You’ve heard the term ‘paper champions?’ The Kardoucheian Empire are ‘paper contenders.’ The moral of the story is never send boys to do a man’s job.

[McGill moves forward and glares into the camera in a very un-Sports Entertainment Barbie way.]

Dawn McGill: Khris, I know you’re really pissed off that your boys weren’t chosen and I know you’re blaming me for all of this. You’ve made this personal and before you get too carried away here, you better take a long, hard look in the mirror and think about this. The only reason I’m here in MVW to help Rah and Halitosis. Period. That’s all I want to do. That’s it. You got one over on me last week. Congratulations.

[Dawn mock claps again.]

Dawn McGill: But if you keep this up, I’m going to forget all about being Sports Entertainment Barbie. I’m going to forget that I’m supposed to be retired from pro wrestling and raising my children.   I’m going to forget all that and beat you up like the dog you are. I don’t need Rah or Halitosis to protect me. I don’t need Ray McAvay to protect me. I don’t need anyone to protect me. I promise you this, Khris Kardoucheian. If you don’t stand down and try to do the best you can with what little your sons offer as pro wrestlers, the next time you try to lay a hand on me will be the last time you ever try to lay a hand on me.

[Blair stares at her.]

Dawn McGill: WHAT?

[Blair points down lower. Sometime during McGill’s rant, Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy removed her shoe and is now kissing her foot.]

Dawn McGill: Oh.

[She takes the de-chromed trailer hitch and bonks Bob Nye over the head with it.]

Bob Nye: Ow.

[She ‘resets’ back into Sports Entertainment Barbie persona and giggles in the irritating high-pitched, squeaky voice.]

Dawn McGill: Oopsie.

{Then she hands Blair the microphone and mutters something under her breath towards Bob Nye.]

Blair Moise: Dawn McGill. And the Island of Misfit Wrestlers. Back to you Thunderbolt.


[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Thank you Blair. I just get the feeling that this thing between Dawn McGill, The Island of Misfit Wrestlers, and the Kardoucheians is going to escalate even further.

Rick Hall: Well, Thunderbolt. We all know Dawn’s a stubborn person…a lot of pride…and as she said earlier, the Kardoucheians got one over on her last week. What I’m wondering is why Dawn’s cousin Charlie Blackwell didn’t try to help her last week? I mean, Dawn’s ex-husband ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay ran down to her aid…I mean, know Ray and Dawn are on generally good terms with each other post-divorce and all…but Charlie’s flesh and blood and he didn’t do a thing to rescue her.

Thunderbolt Smith: We’ll see how this develops. But first, let’s take a commercial break and we’ll be back with action from the Women’s division.



A package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a supermarket checkout line.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky presents *BLEEP*-ing with McGill.

Dawn McGill is pushing a shopping cart towards the express register for 10 items and under. Her five year old daughter Eva is riding inside the cart. Just as she’s about to reach the cashier, some guy barges through with a full shopping cart and literally pushes the other customers out of his way. He bangs into Dawn’s cart and cuts in front of her.

Eva McGill: Ow, Mommy! That man ran into us!

Dawn McGill: It’s okay, dear.   I’m sure it was just an accident-

The guy then turns to Dawn and sneers.

Jerk Man: Hey, do you mind keeping your kid quiet. I’m in a hurry here.

Dawn begins to fume as the man turns back around and starts loading up the express lane with his groceries. Of course, the express lane register isn’t built for people with an overabundance of groceries so he quickly runs out of space to put his stuff.

The guy then turns on the poor girl running the register.

Jerk Man: Come on, let’s go! I don’t have all day.

Finally, Dawn taps the man on the back of his shoulder.  

He whips around.

Jerk Man (nearly shouting): WHAT-oooooooooof…

Dawn knees him in the groin. Then she takes a side headlock and DDT’s the jerk on the hard grocery store floor.

The surrounding customers waiting in line break out in applause.

Final scene: a package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky superimposed over the man unconscious on the ground with blood coming out of his forehead.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. Feed your wild side.


[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We are less than two weeks away from MVWA 77 at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois. On the card, Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s Champion Ray McAvay will be putting his title on the line. MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy will be defending her belt and the Island of Misfit Wrestlers will put their tag belts on the line as they face the Sports Entertainment Corporation’s P.M.C. Banks and a wrestler to be named later. Missouri Valley Wrestling also hits the road this week. This Friday September 22nd, MVW rolls into the Mount Vernon Township High School Gym in Mount Vernon, Illinois for some good time wrestling action.  Scheduled on the card…the semi-finals of the Women’s #1 Contender’s Tournament…MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy…TV Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler…The Kardoucheian Empire…Charlie Blackwell and Bo Stevens will be on hand.

Rick Hall: Then on September 23rd, MVW returns to Evansville, Indiana for a Saturday night show at Roberts Stadium. MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay headlines. The Women’s #1 Contender’s match. The Tag Champions- Island of Misfit Wrestlers…Rah, Halitosis, and ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill…The SEC…and Lisa Barbosa-Stevens will be in Evansville this Saturday night.

Thunderbolt Smith: And finally…Missouri Valley Wrestling finishes the weekend in Richmond, Indiana for a Sunday afternoon matinee show at the Richmond High School Gym. Wrestlers scheduled to appear include: Bo Stevens, Yosemite Samantha, The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja, Ray McAvay, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin among others will be in Richmond this Sunday.

Here are some other upcoming MVW shows…

September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Allstate Arena / Chicago, IL
October 7th – Jacksonville, IL
October 8th – Peoria, IL
October 9th – Keokuk, IA
October 12th – Grinnell, IA
October 14th – Fort Dodge, IA
October 15th – Omaha, NE
October 16th – Kearney, NE



[Jill sits behind her desk and works on her laptop computer.]

Mr. McMann’s voice: Jill?

[Jill glances up as Mr. McMann strides into her office.]

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann

Mr. McMann: Do you mind explaining to me why you didn’t consult with me about bringing Lisa Barbosa-Stevens back?

Jill Berg: Because, the bottom line is I can.

Mr. McMann: But you told me you’d let sort out the talent.

Jill Berg: I said I would let you book the talent. I didn’t realize you were going to bring back your Sports Entertainment Corporation to push specific talent. Which is fine. But that doesn’t keep me from doing what I think needs to be done to enhance our product. Bringing back Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and bringing in Bo Stevens as a wrestler enhances our product. Do you know what does NOT enhance our product? Your obsession with Dawn McGill.

Mr. McMann: I don’t have an obsession with Dawn McGill.

Jill Berg: Oh yes you do. I know damn well that one of your ‘corporate objectives’ is getting her into the SEC. I know you’re pissed off that she’s playing a ditzy, anti-McGill like character…even though if you really look at it, she’s conveniently snaps back when she needs to. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you forced her hand on the contract. I’m glad she’s here. But this has got to stop.

[Berg moves her chair back and stands up.]

Jill Berg: Listen. We’re off to a pretty good start. The crowd size at the house shows have been a little better than I projected. It’s going to take a while for us to get MVW back to where it once was. You want your little SEC stable. Fine. Have your SEC stable. But I need you to keep your eye on the prize. We can bring this place back. However…

[Jill comes around the desk.]

Jill Berg: I am willing to throw you a little bone.

[Berg leans into McMann’s ear and whispers something.]

[McMann’s eyes light up. Whatever she’s saying, he definitely approves.]


[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Welcome back. We are in the middle of a mini-tournament to determine Christa Carmondy’s opponent at MVWA 77. Wednesday night in Effingham. Illnois, there were three quarterfinal matches and let’s take a quick look at the highlights.

*Wednesday Night MVW House Show- Effingham, IL*

(Yosemite Samantha vs. ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot)
Harlot and Samantha have a wild one.

Samantha goes for her Cannonball finisher. Misses. And careens off the ring post. Harlot swoops in. Locks in the legs. Grabs the arms. And slaps on the White Trash Compactor.

Samantha fights the hold with every fiber of her being. She finally all but passes out and referee Davey Keels calls for the bell.

(Ninja Kitty vs. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens)
Ninja Kitty uses her speed to try to keep Barbosa-Stevens off balance. But the taller Barbosa-Stevens slowly imparts her will on the match.

Barbosa-Stevens whips an exhausted Ninja Kitty into the ropes. Boot to the gut by Lisa. Turn. Grab the back of the neck. Toxic Sting.

Lisa makes the cover and she advances on.

(Kathryn Randall Collins vs. ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris)
Iris and KRC tear down the house. KRC uses her wiles and experience against Leah’s high energy offense.

Iris sets up for the Pittsburgh Plunge. Collins escapes.

Later on, KRC wears Iris down and hooks in the Gogoplata. Iris is stuck in the middle of the ring and has no choice but to tap out.

[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: So, ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, and Kathryn Randall Collins advanced on for a shot at the Women’s title. We will find out shortly who will be the fourth and final woman. Kimber Marshall is in the ring.

[Cut to Kimber Marshall.]

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match is a one fall, thirty minute time limit…and a quarterfinal match in the Women’s title number one contender’s tournament. Introducing first…

*’Shakin’- Eddie Money*

Kimber Marshall: …and representing the Sports Entertainment Corporation. She is from Kalamazoo, Michigan…REEEE-GINA MCGILL!

Regina McGill

[Regina comes out and walks to the ring.]

Rosanna’s daddy had a car she loved to drive
Stole the keys one night and took me for a ride
Turned up the music just as loud as it could go
Blew out the speakers in her daddy’s radio

Thunderbolt Smith: Dawn McGill’s younger sister…

Rick Hall: Estranged sister.

Thunderbolt Smith: …sorry, estranged sister…coming to the ring with a lot of things on her mind.

She was shakin’ (oh oh ooh oh)
Snappin’ her fingers (oh oh ooh oh)
She was movin’ round and round (oh oh ooh oh)
That girl was shakin’ (oh oh ooh oh)

Rick Hall: That’s right. She took a huge leap of faith when she turned on her sister in April at MVWA 75.

April 30th, 2017 – MVWA 75- Post match Regina McGill vs. Tessa Martin
[Tessa, clearly fuming, glared at referee Ron Martin and then at Dawn McGIll. Dawn and Mr. McMann were shouting at each other from across the ring. Regina stood on the top turnbuckle and held up the Heartland title belt.]

[Finally, she climbs down and walks over to Tessa- who’s still not happy. Regina surprises everyone by extending her hand. Tessa amazes everyone by actually shaking Regina’s hand. Then Regina stuns the crowd. She turns and blasts Dawn in the face with the Heartland title belt.]

[Tess pulls a dazed Dawn up, kick to the mid-section, Pizza Cutter. Mr. McMann claps his hands excitedly. Regina drags Dawn over to the corner and wraps her sister’s right leg (Dawn’s good leg as her other knee had reconstructive knee surgery two years ago) around the ringpost and locks it in a figure four leglock hanging upside down off the ring apron.]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…also representing the Sports Entertainment Corporation…

[A driving drum beat plays over the loudspeaker.]

*’Dig In’- Lenny Kravitz*

Kimber Marshall: She is the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’…from Bowling Green, Ohio..

Its time to face it come on in and join the party
Life has been waiting for you to care
Don’t try to fake it jump on in and get it started
There’s so much lovin for you to share


‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

There is nowhere to run
There is no way to hide
Don’t let it beat you
Say ” nice to meet you” and “bye

[Tess walks out with her hands raised high in the air.]

And once you dig in
You’ll find it coming out the other side
And once you dig in
You’ll find you’ll have yourself a good time

[‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell, and P.M.C. Banks also come down to ringside.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, there’s a lot of times where we break out the old chestnut…’this match has a lot riding on it.’ Well, folks. This match has a lot riding on it. Both Tessa Martin and Regina Martin tool huge risks in joining up with their arch-enemy, Mr. McMann. However, now they both fight for survival within the SEC.

Rick Hall: Plus, Thunderbolt. The winner will join Kathryn Randall Collins, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot in the semi-finals of the #1 Contender’s tournament with a chance at a potential shot at the MVW Women’s title at MVWA 77.


MATCH TWO – Loser Leaves the SEC

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
Regina McGill

REFEREE: Brent Payson


Rick Hall: They really aren’t too different style wise. Both will scrap and fight. Tess is always dangerous because she can hit the Pizza Cutter in just about any situation you can imagine. And Regina will keep coming forward.

Thunderbolt Smith: Mr. McMann and the SEC are ringside as well. Do you think McMann has a preference here?

Rick Hall: Yeah, Tessa. He moved heaven and earth to convince Tessa to come to the SEC.

Thunderbolt Smith: Brent Payson could have his hands full here. He calls for the bell…


Thunderbolt Smith: …and the match is underway. The loser leaves the Sports Entertainment Corporation.

[Both women step forward into a collar and elbow tie up. Tess pushs Regina back. Tess circles. Collar and elbow tie up. Tess shoves Regina away again. Tess circles…collar and elbow…Tess pushes Regina face first to the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Tess’s experience is going to be key here.

Rick Hall: Regina doesn’t have Tessa’s experience. But she’s fearless. And she’ll keep coming no matter what.

Thunderbolt Smith: They’re both wrestling for their spot in the SEC.

[Tess charges. Regina sidesteps and wraps her arms around Tess’s waist. Tess reverses into her own waistlock. Regina with an elbow. That separates her from Tess. Regina to the ropes. Tess rushes forward…misses a clothesline. Regina to the other side. Tess wants a back body drop but Regina raises the knee and pops her in the gut. Regina takes the arm and wrings it out. Step over and a backhanded slap to Tess’s face.]

Rick Hall: OOOOH!

Thunderbolt Smith: Regina is not going to back down.

[Enraged, Tess runs forward and right into an armdrag takedown. Tess pops right up and goes again…armdrag takedown.   Again Tess up…armdrag takedown. Tess rolls under the bottom rope and outside. She slams her hands on the ring apron.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Regina McGill getting the best of that exchange.

Rick Hall: That’s what she does best. She counters.

Thunderbolt Smith: Like a boxer is a good counterpuncher.

Rick Hall: Right.

[Tess tentatively steps back in. Regina’s right on her. Kneelift sends Tess to the mat and Regina goes for the cover. Payson in for the count.]




[Tess kicks out and crawls to the corner. Regina grabs her arm and tries to whip her across the ring. Tess holds the rope with her right hand and doesn’t let go. Finally, Tess steps right and pushes Regina face first into the middle turnbuckle. Regina to the floor. Tess brings her back to her feet and slams her head into the top turnbuckle.]

[Referee Brent Payson tells Tess to knock if off. Tess rolls her eyes and nails Regina with a right hand. Then an elbow to the chest. Then Tess drives back into Regina crushing her into the turnbuckle. Then a forearm smash. Regina staggers forward. Tess turns. Grabs the back of Regina’s neck…but Regina ducks out and rolls away.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Tessa tried to hit the Pizza Cutter.

Rick Hall: Excellent counter by Regina McGill. Tess set her up but Regina had the presence of mind to escape in time.

[Tess hooks the legs. Payson to the mat.]



[Regina gets the shoulder up.]


Thunderbolt Smith: Veteran move by Tess. Didn’t hit the finisher. Went for the cover anyways. Nearly caught Regina sleeping.

[Cut to ringside for a brief moment. Mr. McMann watches with interest. He seems to be pleased with what he’s seen so far.]

[Regina tries to reach the ropes. Tess is right on top of her. She presses Regina’s neck across the middle rope. Referee Payson is right there to start a five count. At four, Tess backs up. Regina stumbles to the corner. Tess presses but Regina delivers a two hand shove back. Tess right back with a forearm shot to the chest. She grabs the hand and feigns an Irish whip, turning Regina around and slamming her back into the corner turnbuckle. Tess does it again…fakes sending Regina across the ring and whipping back into the corner. And she does it a third time.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Is it me, or has Tessa Martin developed a more ‘nastier’ side of her since she joined the dark side?

Rick Hall: It’s not you. Yes.

[Tess pulls Regina up from a seated position on the lower turnbuckle. Snap mare takedown and a knee strike to the back.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Tessa is not letting up.

Rick Hall: She’s not letting Regina have any space to work any of her offensive moves.

[Tess draps Regina’s arms over the top rope. She races back to the opposite ropes…races forward…and hits a dropkick on Regina. Regina is hung up over the bottom rope. Tess drops a leg across the back of her neck and flips her into the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Guillotine leg drop by Tessa Martin.

[Tess grabs both legs and pulls up. Payson slides in.]



[Regina pushes Tess off of her.]


[Tess pulls Regina up. Kick to the gut. Spin. Grabs the back of her neck. Regina uses her legs to push Tess away.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Again, Tess looked to put it away and Regina made the block.

[Tess takes a side headlock. Regina drives a pair of elbows into her gut and stands her up. Then Regina drops and drives Tess’s head onto her shoulder]

Thunderbolt Smith: Jawbreaker by Regina.

Rick Hall: She’s still in it.

[Regina pulls Tess up and whips her into the ropes. She dips down for a back body drop and flips Tess through the air. Tess right back up. Regina grabs her neck and hits a swinging neckbreaker. She pulls Tess back up and throws her in the corner. Regina winds up and nails her with a forehand chop…]


Audience: WOOOO!

[…and another chop…]


Audience: WOOOO!

[Regina shushes the audience. She winds up again and…]


Audience: WOOOO!

[After collecting herself, Tess charges forward. Regina ducks the clotheslne.   Tess turns around and comes again. Regina ducks. Kicks out with her left foot and swings the right foot connecting with Tess’s jaw.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Enzuigiri by Regina McGill and now it’s Tess in a little trouble.

[Tess spins to the mat.]

Rick Hall: They’re fighting for their lives Thunderbolt.

[Tess crawls to the corner. Regina sets up on the opposite side. She sprints across and launches herself in the air- driving a pair of knees to Tessa’s back. Regina hops over the rope…runs up the ring apron and booted Tess in the face. Tess falls flat on her back.   Regina dives through the ropes and hooks the leg.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Regina for the win!



[Thr-NO! Tess gets her foot on the bottom rope.]


Rick Hall: Unbelievable! How did Regina find her second wind? How did Tessa find the bottom rope?

[Regina pulls Tess back in the middle of the ring. She pulls her up. Tess boots her in the gut. Turns. Grabs the back of the neck. Drops. Drives Regina to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: PIZZA CUTTER!

Rick Hall: Where did that come from!

[Tess hooks the legs and rolls them up. Payson down to make the count.]



[THREE. Payson calls for the bell.]


Thunderbolt Smith: WOW! Tess hit that out of nowhere.

[Tess pops up and throws a fist in the air.]

Kimber Marshall: Your winner and continuing on in the Number One contender’s tournament…’Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSSSSSSSSS-AH…MARRRRRRRRRR-TIN!

[The audience boos Tessa as she rolls out of the ring and celebrates with the rest of the SEC.]

Thunderbolt Smith: So not only does Tessa remain a part of the Sports Entertainment Corporation…she is now in the semi-finals of the Number One contender’s tournament.

Rick Hall: I don’t know where Regina McGill goes from here.

[Mr. McMann climbs into the ring with the rest of the SEC as Regina stirs and gets back to a sitting position.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Uh, oh. Now what is he going to do?

[There’s a squeal in the audience.]

Thunderbolt Smith: What?

‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill

[‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill briskly walks down to the ring still holding the de-chromed trailer hitch in her hand.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh…this could get interesting.

[Dawn climbs into the ring and stares down Mr. McMann. Tess slides behind Charlie Blackwell. Mindful of his earlier conversation with Jill Berg, McMann motions to the SEC to stay back.]

[McMann and Regina lock eyes. McMann reaches into his pocket and pulls an envelope out. He tosses it down to her…turns…and leaves. The SEC follow.]

Rick Hall: I believe the appropriate term to use is ‘he’s just given Regina her walking papers.’

[The SEC head to the back leaving Regina in the ring. Dawn goes over to her and tries to help her up. Regina swats her hand away.]

Regina McGill: No! I don’t need your help!

[Regina rolls out of the ring and heads to the back.]

Thunderbolt Smith: More MVW Sunday Night Wrestling after this.



A package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of the picture with a shot of a lake surrounded by trees in the background.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky presents *BLEEP*-ing with McGill.

Scene: Four college students- two male, two female are enjoying a day at the lake. They’ve just come out of the water and are toweling off.

Boy #1: The water’s great, bro.

Girl #1: It was so fun.”

Boy #2: It was awesome.

They see a figure wander in and it gets everyone’s attention.

It’s Dawn McGill out for a morning run. Dressed in running shorts and a tank top, she stops at the lake’s edge to splash some water on her face.

The four college students watch. A girl with reddish hair snacks on some Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. She suddenly gets an idea and devilishly grins. She looks at the yellow towel on the tall boy standing next to her and gives him the ‘look.’

The boy gets the gist of it and puts his finger to his lips to shush the others. Then he sneaks down and rolls up the wet towel. The other three titter and snicker while waiting in great anticipation as he sneaks up behind Dawn. The boy pauses, sets himself, and snaps her in the ass with the wet towel.

Dawn McGill (laconically): Seriously?

The boy turns back to the others and they all get a big laugh out of it. Well, at least until McGill stands up and kicks him the groin from behind.

Girl #1: Oh?

Then McGill spins him around, puts his head between her legs, lifts, and McGill-Bombs him to the ground.

The other three students look on in shock and McGill stares right at them and simply says…

Dawn McGill: Boo.

*Mass screaming and hysteria*

The three students trip all over themselves trying to run away.

Final scene: a package of Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky superimposed over the college student writhing in pain on the ground after being McGill-Bombed.

Announcer: Skank Mitchell’s Awesome Beef Jerky. Feed your wild side.


Here are some other upcoming MVW shows…

September 22nd – Mt. Vernon, IL
September 23rd – Evansville, IN
September 24th – Richmond, IN
September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Allstate Arena / Chicago, IL
October 7th – Jacksonville, IL
October 8th – Peoria, IL
October 9th – Keokuk, IA
October 12th – Grinnell, IA
October 14th – Fort Dodge, IA
October 15th – Omaha, NE
October 16th – Kearney, NE


‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler

[‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler stands next to a wall. He’s got a bottle of Shiner Bock beer in his right hand and the MVW Television Title belt over his shoulder.]

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: What did I tell y’all. Two weeks ago, I said ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler was going to leave the win with this here title belt and that’s what I did. I told y’all I wasn’t messing around. When that bell rang, when the gunfight began, I pulled the trigger and took care of business.

[Butler points to the title belt.]

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: So now tonight, it’s ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson again. The 330 pound Southern brawler. My view ain’t changed a bit. Dickinson. I know you’re tough. I know you’re rough. You want respect. You have my respect. You also want my title belt and Dickinson…well that ain’t going to happen.   I said it once and I’ll say it again. It’s going to be a gunfight. And there’s only one man in that match who’s going to win a gunfight.

[Butler points to himself, guzzles down the rest of the Shiner Bock, and exits.]


[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: All right, MVW Television Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler with his thoughts before his match tonight with ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson. Now, a few minutes ago ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin defeated Regina McGill. With the loss, Regina is no longer in the SEC. But after the match this happened…

(Few minutes ago)
[‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill briskly walks down to the ring still holding the de-chromed trailer hitch in her hand…]

[…Dawn climbs into the ring and stares down Mr. McMann. Tess slides behind Charlie Blackwell. Mindful of his earlier conversation with Jill Berg, McMann motions to the SEC to stay back.]

[McMann and Regina lock eyes. McMann reaches into his pocket and pulls an envelope out. He tosses it down to her…turns…and leaves. The SEC follow…]

[…The SEC head to the back leaving Regina in the ring. Dawn goes over to her and tries to help her up. Regina swats her hand away.]

Regina McGill: No! I don’t need your help!

Thunderbolt Smith: Even though they haven’t spoken since MVWA 75, Dawn still came down to the ring to help her sister. Unfortunately, Regina is still not in a mood to accept her help.

Rick Hall: Yeah, there’s some issues between Dawn and Regina that still are going to need to be worked out.

Thunderbolt Smith: So, the next question is…who is going to replace Regina in the SEC. Because I don’t think Charlie Blackwell is wrestling with P.M.C. Banks in the tag title match.

[The video screen comes to life.]



[The door to Jill Berg’s office opens a few seconds later. Sixteen large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes.]

Thunderbolt Smith: And it looks like the CEO of Missouri Valley Wrestling is about to come to the ring. I’m told it is to make an announcement about a match at MVWA 77 in less than two weeks.


[The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. Jerry has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.]



[Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as Jill walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.]



[The group continues towards the ring.]



Kimber Marshall: From the financial district of New York City. She is the corporate predator, the CEO of MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING! She is the phenomenon known as JIIIIIIILLLL- BERRRRRRRG!

[Jill is helped into the ring by her escorts. Kimber hands her the microphone.]

Jill Berg: Thank you. Thank you all. With MVWA 77 coming up fast, I decided to come out here tonight to make an announcement about the Men’s Title Match.

[Jill makes sure she makes eye contact with all four sides around the ring.]

Jill Berg: I conferred with ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann to get his input and sat down to plan out the card for MVWA 77. Obviously, we’ve confirmed the Island of Misfit Wrestlers…Rah…Halitosis…with ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill…defending their tag team title against the Sports Entertainment Corporation…P.M.C. Banks…and ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell. However, since it has come to my attention that Charlie would prefer to wrestle in singles competition…and the fact that we do have a planned Men’s Title match featuring the champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay…I’ve decided to book the following match.

[She moves forward towards the side of the ring where the camera is.]

Jill Berg: The MVWA 77 Main Event will be…MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay defending the title against ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell.

Thunderbolt Smith (voiceover): I don’t think this is that much of a surprise.

Rick Hall (voiceover): Nope. Really the logical choice. No one else has stepped out. Blackwell and McAvay makes sense.

Jill Berg: I will leave it to Mr. McMann to determine who P.M.C. Banks’s tag team partner will be. However, I do insist that Mr. McMann announce Banks’s partner no later than the end of the first match next week on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

[Jill hands the microphone back to Kimber Marshall.]

[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Thoughts?

Rick Hall: Again. Makes perfect sense. With Blackwell versus McAvay, you have the added juice with Charlie being Dawn McGill’s cousin and McAvay being Dawn’s ex-husband.

Thunderbolt Smith: Speaking of the Men’s champion, Blair Moise is with him in the Les Miserables’s section. Blair?



[Panning over to the secton, General DeBauchery, sporting an authentic captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar, grinning obnoxiously, is shown collecting every beer and liquor label he can get his hands on with Al Cahall, doing curls with a six pack of beer, and Nic Koteen, who smokes a cigarette and shreds several city anti-smoking ordinances in the process.]

[At the back, there appears to be a disco ball now hanging up next to a stripper pole. The disco ball spins around giving a strobe light effect illuminating the area around it. McAvay’s adult entertainment friends Dark and Stormy dance underneath the disco ball with the infamous Sheik Yorbouti.]

[Blair Moise sits in the front row with the MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay.]

‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay

Blair Moise: Ray. First off, any comment on what happened last week when the Kardoucheians attacked your ex-wife Dawn McGill?

Ray McAvay: Look. I get it. When you’re trying to build a career. When you’re trying to make a name for yourself. You do things to get noticed. Khris Kardoucheian leaked a sex tape of his son with a female. Fine. Not what I would have done. But…I mean…who am I to talk?

[McAvay points at Dark and Stormy working the stripper pole while Sheik Yorbouti dances around them.]

Blair Moise: Well, yeah.

Ray McAvay: As Dawn pointed out, she doesn’t need me to stick up for her. She’s more than capable of defending herself. And her record speaks for herself. She turned me into a halfway decent wrestler. She’s taken Rah and Halitosis and turned them into Tag Team champions and got them into a big time 4CW pay per view show. But I guess that Khris Kardoucheian is so desperate for female interaction and the only way to do it is to attack Dawn McGill four on one…knock her out…handcuff her to the ring ropes…and then kiss her. Okay. Whatever. I’m not going to judge. But I will note that the Kardoucheians are the poster children for insufferable entitlement- hence their constant whining about the whole 4CW thing. But my real issue isn’t with a bunch of Hollywood poseurs. My real issue with is Charlie Blackwell.

[McAvay’s mood turns dark.]

Ray McAvay: Charlie. Where the hell were you? You half-assed going to the ring to help Dawn. You hardly did anything to help your cousin. And then you attacked me after I came down and chased the Kardoucheians away. Charlie, I don’t know how you can look at yourself in the mirror. So okay.   It’s going to be you and me at MVWA 77. And you know, that’s fine. If Charlie Blackwell is happy with his choice to join the SEC- good for him. But is he doing this for the right reasons? Was it for fame and glory and all that other bullshit? I would never do that. I would never do become something I didn’t want to and compromise everything I’ve tried to be since 2015. I’ve had offers. And when push came to shove, I decided I wasn’t going to allow myself to be seduced by the dark side.

Blair Moise: Hey a Star Wars reference.

Ray McAvay: I’m not going to sell my soul, compromise my principles, and I’m sure as hell not going to sell out- all in the name of winning titles.

[McAvay pats the MVW Men’s title belt over his shoulder.]

Ray McAvay: I don’t have to do that.

Blair Moise: Ray McAvay. Back to you Thunderbolt.


[Cut back to Thunderbolt and Hall.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Right to the ring and Kimber Marshall for our next match.

[Cut to Kimber Marshall in the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a tag team match with one fall and a fifteen minute time limit. Already in the ring…from Chesterfield, Missouri…BOB-BEEEE STARRRRRRRR!

[Bobby Starr, sporting red, white, and blue wrestling tights with stars, raises his hand to acknowledge the audience’s applause.]

Kimber Marshall: And his partner, from St. Charles, Missouri…MY Idol…YOUR Idol…WILLIE IDOL!

[Idol raises his arms. He has platinum blonde hair and wears white wrestling trunks with Idol written in the back.]

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…

[The video screens fires up and the lights go down.]

It’s 1946 in the Scottish Highlands.

On the hill of Craigh na Dun, British nurse Blaire Rendell hears the tell-tale buzzing sound as she approaches the standing stones. This makes her very happy.

Blaire Rendell (Scottish accent): Soon, I’ll be back with my true love Jamie and I will be truly happy once again in eighteen century Scotland.

Blaire goes to the standing stones where the buzzing sound gets louder and louder. Soon she faints and falls to the ground. When she wakes up…

Blaire Rendell: JAMIE! JAMIE? JAM-AHHGH!

Voice (Canadian dialect): It’s about time you got here, eh?

…Blaire becomes aware that she’s on stage with Jack Fraiser.

Blaire Rendell: Son of a bitch! Not again.

Blaire sighs and looks generally disgusted by the whole situation.

Blaire Rendell: Oh…whatever. I need something to drink.

Fraiser reaches into his bag and hands her a Molson. Blaire rips the can out of his hand, opens it up, and chugs it.

Kimber Marshall: Accompanied by his Ooot-lander Blaire Rendell. From Saskatoon, Sasketchewan. The Man with a Molson…JACK…FRAYYYYYYY-ZERRRRRRR!

[Fraiser and Blaire walk to the ring. Jack seems happy. Blaire’s arms are folded and she appears a little grumpy.]

Kimber Marshall: And his tag team partner tonight…

*Do You Hear the People Sing?- Les Miserables*

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of angry men
It is the music of the people.
Who will not be slaves again!”

[The camera pans up to the Les Miserables section. Ray McAvay stands up.]

Kimber Marshall: He is the MVW Men’s Champion.

When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes

Kimber Marshall: From Fort Stockton, Texas. He is ‘Tin Cup’ RAY…MAC-A-VAYYYYYYYYYY!

[The camera spots West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy, both sporting the new Missouri Valley Wrestling/Ray McAvay “Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work” baseball jersey, marching along with McAvay and the procession heads down to the ring.]



Bobby Starr and Willie Idol
MVW Men’s Champion Ray McAvay w/West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy, Bert the Janitor and Jack Fraiser with his Oootlander Blaire Rendell

REFEREE: Ron Martin


Thunderbolt Smith: Ray McAvay and Jack Fraiser takes on Bobby Starr and Willie Idol.

Rick Hall: And it’s good to see Blaire’s smiling face back here on MVW.

[Close up on Blaire Rendell. Arms folded. Pissed off look on her face. Wishing she was with her Scottish Highlander instead of…]

[Cut to Jack Fraiser smashing a Canadian Molson beer can with his forehead a la the Sandman.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh yeah. She’s glad to be here.

[Martin calls for the bell.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAvay and Starr to start.

[McAvay and Starr come out from their respective corners. They circle. Collar and elbow tie and-]

*’Rough Justice’- Rolling Stones*

Thunderbolt Smith: Hold on…

D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

One time you were my baby chicken
Now you’ve grown into a fox
And once upon a time I was your little rooster
Am I just one of your cocks?

[The crowd boos as D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice run out.]

It’s rough justice, oh yeah!
You’re gonna have to trust me
It’s rough justice
But you know I never break your heart

Thunderbolt Smith: Here comes Rough Justice headed towards the ring!

[Starr stops and sees Justice slide into the ring. McAvay turns around just as Justice presses a taser against him and drops him on the spot.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAVAY’S BEEN TASERED!

[Ruff pushes Rendell down and yanks Fraiser off the ring apron. Then he tasers Fraiser on the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: FRAISER JUST GOT IT TOO.

[Justice glares at Starr. Starr holds up his hands as if to say I’ve got no issue with you’ and exits stage left. Justice stomps McAvay repeatedly.]

[Ruff pulls Fraiser up and whips him into the steel barricade leaving the Canadian hanging over the barricade.]

[The audience boos.]

[Ruff rolls into the ring and joins Justice in laying the boots to McAvay.]

Rick Hall: Two on one attack on McAvay now. Who’s going to-

[The video screen comes to life.]

Dawn McGill’s voice: HEY ROUGH JUSTICE!

[Backstage, McGill stands over Ken Kardoucheian. Ken’s out. Bloodied…presumably at the hand of the de-chromed trailer hitch with blood on it in McGill’s hand.]

Khourtney, Ken, Koley, and Khris Kardoucheian

Dawn McGill: You might want to come back here. Your employers might be in a little trouble here.

[Panning right, ‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis has Koley Kardoucheian…also with a major cut over his eye…held up by his shirt lapel. He breathes in…moves in closer to Koley’s face…and then breathes out.]

Thunderbolt Smith: BREATH OF DEATH!

[Halitosis releases him. Koley grabs his throat and drops to the floor just as Khris Kardoucheian and Kourtney Kardoucheian arrive on scene.]


[McGill turns and gives Khris a trailer hitch facial. He’s out before he hits the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: OH!

Rick Hall: The Kardoucheians may have made a huge mistake in forcing the six foot demolition machine in a short skirt to reappear in Dawn McGill again.

[Kourtney tries to grab McGill. She pushes him back. He’s grabbed from behind by Rah!]

Rick Hall: Hey. It’s Rah without the five minute entrance!

Thunderbolt Smith: It happens once in a while.

[Rah spins Kourtney around and drives a right hand to his gut. Kourtney bends over. Rah puts his head between his legs…lifts him up…and slams him through a table.]


[Back in the ring, Rough Justice leave McAvay in a heap and take off for the back.]

Thunderbolt Smith: The match has been thrown out. Both McAvay and Fraiser are down. The Kardoucheians are down. Rough Justice is headed to the back. And while they sort all this out, we’ll be back in just a moment.



Fred Sr.’s Burger Cash Cow Commercial

Announcer Guy: It’s a Fred Sr.’s Burger Cash Cow commercial and you know what that means.

[The spot starts as the valets of Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Ray McAvay, Dark and Stormy, wearing the official MVW/Ray McAvay ‘Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work.’ t-shirts (in white) and Daisy Duke Shorts, stand in his corner during a match.]

[Former High Octane Wrestling Hall of Fame announcers Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell sit at the broadcast table and are commentating on the match as both ladies pull out a Fred Sr’s half pound double decker Barbeque Bacon Burger loaded with every condiment you could imagine and begin to eat in a most sensuous stimulating way.]

Joe Hoffman: McAvay with the sidewalk slam.  What a move…right Benny?  Benny?

[Hoffman notices that Benny is otherwise occupied at the moment.]

Joe Hoffman: Benny?

[Why? Because Benny’s not watching the action inside the ring.  He’s watching the action outside the ring.  The house lights inside the Best Arena turn low and a spotlight shines on Stormy, her brown hair ruffling in the artificially produced wind- thanks to a huge off screen fan.  Stormy sees Benny staring at her and waves as she slowly, tantalizingly takes a huge bite from the Fred Sr’s half pound double decker Barbeque Bacon Burger sandwich.]

Benny Newell: It’s only a matter of time, Hoffhole.

Joe Hoffman: What?

Benny Newell: It’s only a matter of time until one of them spills barbeque sauce on their shirt and then we’ll have a real strip show here.

[As if on cue, Dark, her black hair also fluttering in the artificially created breeze, takes a huge bite of her sandwich and a massive glob of barbeque sauce slathered in between the buns slithers out and stains her pearly white t-shirt.]

Benny Newell: See?  I told you.

[Of course, Dark’s horrified at the development so she slips off her barbeque sauce stained t-shirt and reveals that she’s wearing a barbeque colored bikini top.]

Joe Hoffman: Well, the action seems to have shifted away from the ring.

[Ray McAvay and his unknown opponent have stopped wrestling and lean against the top rope to watch as Stormy takes a sizable bite of her Baconburger.  In a shocking development, a major glob of barbeque sauce spills onto her white t-shirt.]

Benny Newell: YES!  Thank you God!  Thank you!

[So Stormy also pulls off her barbeque stained white t-shirt off and- surprise, she too has a barbeque colored bikini top on.]

Benny Newell: Could this get any better?

[Bert the Janitor walks into the scene.  He picks up the two soiled white t-shirts and tosses them into his mop bucket.  He hands Dark a supersized bottle of barbeque sauce and then moves on. She slowly opens up the bottle and proceeds to pour it all over the burger, all over Stormy’s burger, and then ‘accidently’ spills it all over herself.]

Joe Hoffman: I don’t know Benny.  It sure looks like she did that on purpose-

Benny Newell: Shut up Hoffhole!  Accidents happen.  Now, what just happened in my pants, that was not an accident.

[Joe slowly turns his gaze towards Benny and shakes his head.]

[Being the helpful person she is, Stormy tries to clean up the massive mess her friend just made by licking the barbeque sauce off Dark’s chest- of which you can’t tell now if she’s wearing a bikini top or not.  In the process, the barbeque sauce ends up spilled all over her chest…and neck…and then her arms.]

Announcer Guy (v/o): Two for the price of one.

[Watching from the ring, McAvay’s eyes widen and he leans on the top rope to get a closer view.  Former HOW backstage announcer Blair Moise appears behind him.  She ‘Gibbs-slaps’ Ray in the back of the head.]

Ray McAvay (holding the back of his head): Ow!

Announcer Guy (v/o): Fred Sr’s half pound double decker Barbeque Bacon Burger …

[Dark begins to undo Stormy’s bikini top.]

Announcer Guy (v/o): Only at Fred Sr.’s Burger Cash Cow


[Fade to black.]

Benny Newell’s voice: AW, *BLEEP*-ING HELL!



‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson

[‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson stands in front of a wall backstage with Blair Moise.]

Blair Moise: Blair Moise here with the challenger, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson as he’s about to head to the ring for his match against ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Title. Bill? You wrestled Butler two weeks ago. How will it be different this time?

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson: Well Blair, let me correct you on one thing. I wrestled Butler and some guy named SNAFU who I didn’t know from a vanilla midget last time. The big difference this week is that I have ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler one on one for the TV belt. And in a one on one match, I like my chances.

Blair Moise: Now, you both have tagged together in the past which means you both know each other’s tendencies. In your view, who does that favor?

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson: Blair, it’s just wrestling. There’s no tendencies. ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson ain’t never backed down from a fight and he never will. I’ve taken on anyone and everyone. I’ve been in the ring with some great wrestlers. Won a few matches…lost a bunch. It’s about who wants it the most. I know ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler is damn good. ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson thinks he’s damn good too. I am the three hundred and thirty pound Southern brawler and once that ol’ bell goes off, we’re going to do a little dancing with the ‘Cowboy’ and I plan on walking out of that ring with the TV title.

[Dickinson does the ‘belt around the waist’ gesture and heads for the ring.]

Blair Moise: There you have it. Thunderbolt, back to you.


Thunderbolt Smith: All right. We’re running short on time so let’s go right to the ring and Kimber Marshall.

[Cut to the ring where Kimber Marshall awaits.]

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. This is our main event. One fall…five minute time limit…for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television title! Introducing first…

*’Buy Me a Boat’- Chris Janson*

[‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson comes out.]

I ain’t rich, but I damn sure wanna be
Working like a dog all day, ain’t working for me
I wish I had a rich uncle that’d kick the bucket
And that I was sitting on a pile like Warren Buffett
I know everybody says
Money can’t buy happiness

Kimber Marshall: …from Gallatin, Tennessee. He is ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson!

But it could buy me a boat, it could buy me a truck to pull it
It could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some silver bullets
Yeah, and I know what they say
Money can’t buy everything
Well, maybe so,
But it could buy me a boat

[Dickinson rolls into the ring and starts jumping up and down.]

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…

*’Country Boy Can Survive’- Hank Williams Jr.*

[Butler walks out. Cowboy hat. Wrestling tights with the Texas flag on the right thigh. Black vest.]

The preacher man says it’s the end of time
And the Mississippi River she’s a goin’ dry
The interest is up and the Stock Markets down
And you only get mugged
If you go downtown
I live back in the woods, you see
A woman and the kids, and the dogs and me
I got a shotgun rifle and a 4-wheel drive
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive

Kimber Marshall: he is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Champion. From Beaumont, Texas, ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler!

[Butler raises his arms in the air and starts his way down to the ring.]

Because you can’t starve us out
And you can’t makes us run
Cuz we’re them old boys raised on shotgun
And we say grace
and we say Ma’am
And if you ain’t into that
we don’t give a damn



‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler ©
‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson

REFEREE: Davey Keels


Thunderbolt Smith: Davey Keels will have his hands full with this one.

Rick Hall: Except Butler only has to last five minutes because that’s all the TV time that’s left. Dickinson doesn’t look happy about one bit.

Thunderbolt Smith: The show ran a little long tonight.

[Keels calls for the bell.]


Thunderbolt Smith: Here we go for the TV title.

[No collar and tie lock up. Dickinson comes out firing full guns. He throws right hands from every conceivable angle at the champion.]

Rick Hall: Whoa. Dickinson caught Butler with a whopper of a right hand.

[Butler staggers back and tries to grab the top rope. Dickinson wades right in and unloads more bombs on Butler. Butler tries to crawl out of the ring. Dickinson yanks him right back in and nails him with a forearm shot to the face. More rights rain down on the champion and Butler’s in la-la land.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson is going for a first round knockout.

Rick Hall: And he may get it.

[Dickinson whips Butler across the ring to the opposite corner and follows with a clothesline. Right hand by Dickinson. Dickinson drops a clubbing right forearm across Butler’s back. Dickinson lifts Butler up for a scoop slam but Butler escapes out the back door. Dickinson turns and Butler lands a boot to the midsection. Butler then rolls out of the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson starts fast and furious. Butler survived the onslaught and now he’s going to take his sweet time getting back in the ring.

[Dickinson fumes in the ring. He shouts at Butler to get back into the ring. Butler, understandingly, is not in any hurry to. Dickinson’s face turns red with anger.]

[Keels starts the count on the champion.]

[Dickinson screams at Butler to get back in the ring. Butler laughs and flips him off.]

[Keels up to four.]

Rick Hall: I don’t think he’s going to get back in.

Thunderbolt Smith: Dickinson’s running out of time.

[Butler climbs up on the ring apron. Dickinson again shouts at him to get back in the ring. The champion demurs. The challenger finally snaps and charges after him. Butler jumps down and takes off around the ring. Dickinson chases and the Cowboy breaks it off and runs to the back with Dickinson in hot pursuit.]

[Keels calls for the bell.]

Kimber Marshall: Referee Davey Keels calls it a time limit draw.

Thunderbolt Smith: Yeah, you know ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson isn’t going to take this sitting down.

Rick Hall: A lot of things went down tonight, Thunderbolt. Next week’s show is going to be very interesting.

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s right. The final show before MVWA 77. Next week. Right here. See you then.


About Art Nouveaux

This entry was posted in ewrestling and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to MVW Sunday Night Wrestling- September 17th

  1. Pingback: 9/17 Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Sunday Night Wrestling – The Zine

Comments are closed.