MVW Sunday Night Wrestling- September 10th

Rah (left), Dawn McGill, D.B. Ruff with Halitosis in the air, Connor Justice in the main event

Last Week on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling

[‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, Charlie Blackwell, P.M.C. Banks, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, and Regina McGill all sit around a table in McMann’s office. There is an empty seat next to McMann.]

Mr. McMann: However, it also means there’s opportunity as well. Corporate objective number one- bringing the MVW Women’s belt to the SEC…

[Regina and Tess each exchange glances. Blackwell and Banks listen intently.]

—cut—

Mr. McMann: Good. Corporate objective number two.

[McMann turns to Blackwell and Banks.]

Mr. McMann: There’s two top titles on the table…tag belts and the Men’s title. I don’t care which one you get. But I expect you two to hit the ground running from the get-go and push our corporate agenda forward.

—cut—

Mr. McMann: Good. That brings us to corporate objective number three.   The empty chair. You’ll notice that, with the exception of Mr. Banks, each and every one of you have one thing in common…you all had or have a relationship with one Dawn McGill.

—cut—

Mr. McMann: Dawn McGill is and continues to be the sole reason why neither PCW nor MVW has ever accepted my vision of sports entertainment. For the past two years, I have tried to influence and manipulate events to unsettle and push her towards the sports entertainment world.

—cut—

Mr. McMann: I could care less what Miss McGill’s feelings are…or anyone else’s for that matter. I want her in the SEC. This is a corporate objective. You’re all being paid good money to achieve results and that comes with the explicit expectation that ALL the corporate objectives to be reached.

—cut—

[Close up on Jill Berg sitting behind her desk. Her personal assistant Jerry is standing in front of her.]

Jill Berg: I brought him in because I need someone who can handle the book. I didn’t bring him in to continue his personal vendettas. Especially the one he’s got against Dawn McGill. He’s putting the SEC back together with the intention of monopolizing the top belts. That’s fine…for now. But if he thinks for a moment that he’s going to get McGill to do something she clearly does not want to do…he’s insane.

—cut—

Jill Berg: …I can smooth over McMann’s booking excesses. But if McMann’s booking starts to circle in on his pursuit of Dawn McGill, I may have to put my foot down and remind Mr. McMann who’s really in charge here.

—cut—

[‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson stands in front of a wall backstage. He’s dressed in plain black wrestling tights. He’s mostly bald with a little bit of hair over the ears. And he’s big. Three hundred and thirty pounds of…well, a lot of it is fat…but Dickinson is strong as an ox.]

‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson: Tonight, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson gets a little respect…when he becomes the Television champion.

—cut—

[‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler stands next to a wall in his black wrestling tights with a matching black vest and cowboy hat. He’s got a bottle of Shiner Bock beer in his right hand.]

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler ain’t messing around tonight. Dickinson? I know you’re going to bring the fight tonight. SNAFU? Don’t know much about you. You’ve got Flack in your corner but once that bell rings, son, Flack ain’t going to be in the ring wrasslin’- you are. There ain’t enough ECW DVD’s out there to prepare you for what I’m about to bring your way tonight. When that bells rings…when I pull trigger, son, it’s going to be me versus world…me versus Dickinson and SNAFU…and it’s going to be a gunfight. And there’s only one man in that match who’s going to win a gunfight.

—cut—

[SNAFU joins the shot and shakes hands with E.J. Flack.]

E.J. Flack: Now, SNAFU. Tonight, we go for gold. Tonight, you will…Narfle the Garthok!

Crowd: NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

E.J. Flack: You have learned how to eat difficult situations. You have learned not to back down from a task that seems to be impossible. You have learned how to find a way to out-care, out-give, and out-how everyone else here in Missouri Valley Wrestling. What are you going to do tonight?

[Quick close up on SNAFU.]

SNAFU: We sure as hell ain’t rowing no damn boat!

–cut–

(TV TITLE MATCH: ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson vs. ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler vs. SNAFU)
[Butler hooks the legs. One…two…SNAFU gets the shoulder up. Butler immediately pulls SNAFU up and whips him into the ropes. He winds up and Texas Lariats SNAFU to the mat. Butler covers him right away. One…Two…THREE.]

Kimber Marshall: SNAFU has been eliminated from the match.

—cut—

[Butler can’t believe he didn’t pin him. He again drags Dickinson back up and turns him upside-down. Butler then drops to a kneeling position.]

Thunderbolt Smith: TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Butler hit it.

Rick Hall: I think that’s going to do it.

[Dickinson flops to the mat. Butler hooks the leg. Martin makes the count and the crowd joins in…One…Two…]

Crowd: THREE!

[Martin calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: HE DID IT! ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler pinned ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson and he is your MVW Television Champion!

MVW Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday September 10th, 2017
MVW Television Studio
St. Louis, MO
Hosts: Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall

[Opening shot- Camera pans around the ring. There’s just over a hundred people inside the MVW Television studio.]

[Crowd applause]

[Cut to Thunderbolt Smith and Rick Hall inside the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Hello and welcome to MVW Sunday Night Wrestling!

[More applause.]

Thunderbolt Smith: I am Thunderbolt Smith. He is ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall.

[Hall waves.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Tonight, in just a couple moments, the #1 contender’s match for the MVW Tag Team Title that was taped last weekend in Springfield, Missouri. Also tonight, we’ve got the MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy in action, the MVW Tag Team Champions Rah and Halitosis return to Missouri Valley Wrestling, and MVW Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay is also in the building.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, last week ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler won the Television Title in a wild, action packed three way dance against ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson and SNAFU. Now, I can announce to you that on next week’s edition of MVW Sunday Night Wrestling…it will be the champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler facing ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson one on one for the MVW Television title.

Thunderbolt Smith: Butler versus Dickinson next week. Let’s now go back to last weekend and all the action in a Tag Team Title #1 contender’s match at the JHQ Arena in Springfield, Missouri.

(Taped: Last Week’s MVW House Show- Springfield, Missouri)
[MVW Tag Team Champions the Island of Misfit Wrestlers (Rah and Halitosis with ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill) have their hand raised in victory by referee Ron Martin after defeating Jobber D’Hut and obnoxious French sports talk host Dan LeBasterd]

Halitosis, Rah, and Dawn McGill

[The crowd’s cheers turn to boos when the Kardoucheian Empire (Ken, Koley, Khourtney, and Khris) walk out to ringside. Also with them are a crew that’s filming their reality show ‘Krampin’ Up with the Kardoucheians.]

Khourtney, Ken, Koley, and Khris Kardoucheian

[All four Kardoucheians mock clap.]

Khris Kardoucheian: Oh well done. Well done. Well, at least you won a match.

[More boos. McGill shoots daggers through Khris while trying to keep Rah’s minion Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy at bay. Halitosis wants to breathe on him. As for Rah, he’s already exited the ring and mingling with the BronzeBeach Suntan Bikini Team along with his minion Happy Mango and his Announcer Guy.]

Khris Kardoucheian: Okay…so. Now that you’re back from embarrassing yourselves on world-wide television, it time for you to surrender your belts to a superior team. It’s time for the Island of Misfit Wrestlers to go back to the island and stay there. Here’s the difference between the two teams.

[He points to his sons.]

Khris Kardoucheian: Ken, Koley, and Khourtney are stars.

[He points at Halitosis and McGill in the ring.]

Khris Kardoucheian: You are nothing more than a comedy team pretending to be pro wrestlers. I mean, did you see Dawn McGill running around the ring like a headless chicken trying to get away from that psychopath Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy…again?

[McGill glares down at Bob Nye who’s kneeling down in front of her and licking her foot.]

[Khris turns to the film crew filming the Kardoucheian’s reality show to make a big point.]

Khris Kardoucheian: So…it’s time. It’s time for you to put the titles up against the number one contender’s for the belts…the Kardoucheian Em-

Man’s voice: Hold on a second.

Tessa Martin, P.M.C. Banks, Charlie Blackwell, Regina McGill, Mr. McMann

[‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and the SEC (Charlie Blackwell, P.M.C. Banks, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, and Regina McGill with SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum) appear on stage.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Yeah, I was wondering if Mr. McMann was going to have something to say about that.

Mr. McMann: Funny. The last time I remember, Khris Kardoucheian doesn’t book the matches at MVW…I do.

[Khris mutters something unpleasant under his breath. The film crews gets in close. Khris waves them back.]

Mr. McMann: However, you are correct that Missouri Valley Wrestling does not currently have a number one contender for the tag team belts. And while it would be within my power and authority to arbitrarily name Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks the number one contender and name them as the Island of Misfit Wrestler’s opponents in their first title defense at MVWA 77…

[Khris Kardoucheian immediately points an angry finger at Mr. McMann.]

[McGill doesn’t look impressed either. Of course, she’s also intermittently tries to shake Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy off her leg. Halitosis shrugs. Rah is busy chatting with the bikini girls.]

Mr. McMann: …calm down…calm down, Khris. I’m not going to do that. Because…well…since Ray McAvay’s not here tonight, we don’t have a main event for tonight’s show.

[Mr. McMann thinks it over.]

Mr. McMann: So how about we do this. Let’s book the SEC…Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks…versus…the Kardoucheian Empire…Ken and Koley Kardoucheian. Tag Team #1 contender. Right here and now.

[Khris Kardoucheian seems okay with Mr. McMann’s decision. The crowd cheers. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers depart. Referee Davey Keels comes out.]

=======================

MATCH ONE / MVW TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH
(Taped at MVW House Show- Springfield, MO)

Charlie Blackwell aka…’Charlie Wrestling’
STRENGTH-6 SPEED-6 INTELLIGENCE-8 CHARISMA-5 ENDURANCE-8 EXECUTION-9
P.M.C. Banks
STRENGTH-6 SPEED-6 INTELLIGENCE-8 CHARISMA-8 ENDURANCE-6 EXECUTION-7
vs.
Ken Kardoucheian
STRENGTH-6 SPEED-6 INTELLIGENCE-5 CHARISMA-9 ENDURANCE-6 EXECUTION-7
Koley Kardoucheian
STRENGTH-7 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-6 CHARISMA-7 ENDURANCE-6 EXECUTION-7

========================

[Ken Kardoucheian and Charlie Blackwell to start.]

*DING-DING*

[Collar and elbow tie up…Ken rakes the eyes immediately and drives Blackwell to the ropes.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Winner becomes the number one contender.

Rick Hall: The SEC’s number two corporate objective…the men’s title or the tag belts is on the line here. Blackwell and Banks can get a step closer to achieving that goal with a win here tonight. The Kardoucheians want to get their hands on Rah and Halitosis…

Thunderbolt Smith: And don’t forget Dawn McGill.

Rick Hall: …and Dawn McGill in the worst way possible.

[Ken sends Blackwell across the ring into the ropes.   He hopes to hit him with a right hand on the return but Blackwell grabs the top rope and stays there. They circle. Collar and elbow tie up…again Ken rakes the eyes. Side headlock by Ken…right hand fist hidden from the referee sends Blackwell to the mat. Ken whips Blackwell to the ropes…raises his boot…Blackwell catches it…spins Ken around and nails him with a right hand. Ken falls back to the mat. He crawls over and tags Koley in. Blackwell tags Banks in. Side headlock by Koley. Banks pushes Koley into the ropes and sends him across the ring. Koley shoulder blocks Banks and the return. Koley runs the ropes. Banks drops to the mat. Koley leaps over and hits the ropes on the other side. Banks takes Koley down with an armdrag takedown.]

[Khris Kardoucheian, ever the stage mother…er…father, jumps on the ring apron and complains to Davey Keels that Banks pulled on the tights. Koley goes over to Keels and complains.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Rick? What’d you think?

Rick Hall: Mind games. Banks wasn’t even close to tugging on the tights.

[Koley and Banks circle slowly. Collar and elbow tie. Koley goes to lift Banks up but Banks blocks. Banks then scoops Koley up and slams him to the mat.   Koley immediately starts chirping to Keels again.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Koley Kardoucheian is once again complaining about pulling of the tights.

Rick Hall: Khris is no dummy. He knows that talent wise, his sons are outgunned here. He’s trying to play mind games to get Blackwell and Banks out of their rhythm.

Thunderbolt Smith: Koley tags Ken Kardoucheian back in.

[Ken walks towards Banks. Collar and elbow tie up.   Ken with a right hand. Boot to the midsection. Banks stuck in a corner. Ken with another right. And another right. Keels steps in to admonish Ken for a closed fist. That gets Khris back up on the ring apron to shout at the referee. Banks whips Ken across the ring to the opposite corner. Ken staggers back out…Banks back body drops him.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Ken got major air time on that one.

Rick Hall: The Kardoucheians are going to have a hard time keeping up with the wrestling skill of Blackwell and Banks.

Thunderbolt Smith: Khris Kardoucheian continues to complain to referee Davey Keels about the SEC’s tactics.

[Ken holds his back while Khris chats away at the referee. Banks turns and tags Blackwell back in. Ken reaches out and tags Koley. Koley and Blackwell exchange words with Keels in between them.   Finally…quick collar and elbow right into flailing rights and lefts by Blackwell and Koley. Blackwell gets the upper hand. Ken jumps in and distracts Blackwell. Koley takes advantage and hits a knee lift to Blackwell. Banks in the ring to go after Ken. Right hand by Blackwell. Boot to the gut by Koley. Meanwhile, Banks drives Ken back to the opposite corner. Keels tries to get Banks and Ken out of the ring while Blackwell and Koley throw bombs back and forth.]

Thunderbolt Smith: This is starting to get out of control.

Rick Hall: No surprise there. There’s a lot riding on the match, Thunderbolt.

Thunderbolt Smith: Yeah but there won’t be a number one contender if both teams get disqualified. Wait…Khris Kardoucheian is on the ring apron!

[Khris shouts something at Blackwell. Blackwell pulls away from Koley and goes over to confront the patriarch of the Kardoucheians.]

Rick Hall: That’s a mistake.

[A short-lived mistake. Koley tries to jump Blackwell but Charlie Wrestling hammers him back with right hands. Khris is still trying to get involved. Banks and Ken continue to brawl on the other side and Keels is still trying to get them out of the ring. Blackwell nails Khris with a forearm shot sending him flying off the ring apron. Right hand by Blackwell to Koley. Koley rakes the eyes and grabs Blackwell by the neck and throws him through the ropes to the floor. Khris gets back in the ring and kicks Banks in the balls. Banks doubles over. Keels pushes Khris back to the ropes and gets into another heated argument with him.]

[Koley goes to the floor and stomps away at Blackwell. ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin runs over. Spins Koley around…kick to the gut…she turns around…clasps her hands on the back of his neck…and drops to the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: TESSA MARTIN JUST HIT THE PIZZA CUTTER ON KOLEY KARDOUCHEIAN!

[Regina McGill jumps up on the ring apron with a steel chair. She sneaks in behind Ken and nails him with the chair.]

Thunderbolt Smith: REGINA McGILL WITH A CHAIRSHOT TO KEN KARDOUCHEIAN!

[Blackwell pulls Koley back up and rolls him back into the ring. Khris is now gone ballistic seeing two of his sons knocked out. Keels turns and sees Blackwell covering Koley. Keels slides right in and makes the count.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Khourtney Kardoucheian dives into the ring and boots Blackwell in the back to break up the pinfall.]

Rick Hall: Khourtney Kardoucheian makes the save!

[Tessa jumps in. She books Khourtney to the gut. Spins. Clasps her hands behind his neck. Drops.

Thunderbolt Smith: PIZZA CUTTER TO KHOURTNEY KARDOUCHEIAN!

[Khourtney down on the mat.   Khris now climbs into the ring. Banks takes off across the ring and launches himself at him…driving his shoulder into the Kardoucheian’s stomach and out of the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: P.M.C. BANKS JUST SPEARED KHRIS KARDOUCHEIAN THROUGH THE ROPES!

[Banks and Khris tumble to the floor. Keels tells Tess to get out of the ring.]

[Blackwell wraps his legs around Koley’s torso and his arms around his neck. He pulls back as hard as he can.]

Thunderbolt Smith: KATAHAJIME!

Rick Hall: The Kardoucheians are laid out and there’s no one left to help Koley Kardoucheian.

Thunderbolt Smith: Blackwell has it cinched in.

[Keels over to check. Koley furiously slams his hand on the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: BLACKWELL AND BANKS WIN!

[Blackwell rolls over and pumps his fist in the air.]

Rick Hall: A team effort by the SEC and Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks are the new Tag Team number one contenders.

===

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Messing with McGill


‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill

A package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a golf course fairway on a perfect summer afternoon.

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky presents- Messing with McGill.

[A heavy set man prepares to hit his approach shot to the green while his friend waits for him inside a golf cart.]

Heavy Set Man: Five feet from the hole, right here.

[He begins his backswing and sees a bunny hopping along and Dawn McGill running along the edge of the woods off the fairway. He stops his swing and turns to gawk at Dawn. The man in the golf cart gets out as well. He’s munching on a piece of beef jerky.

Dawn stops to rest for a second.

Both look at each other. The man hands the bag of beef jerky to the heavy set gentleman and goes back to the golf cart. He pulls a beer out of the cooler and then begins to vigorously shake it up.]

Dawn McGill: Okay. Newsflash. I can see what you’re doing.

[The man approaches Dawn slowly.]

Driver of Golf Cart: Hey big fella.

[Dawn glares back at him.]

Dawn McGill (annoyed): Big fella?

Driver of Golf Cart: Do you want a cold one?

Dawn McGill: Okay. Again, I know what you did to the can of beer.

Driver of Golf Cart: You know you want a cold one.

[She rolls her eyes.]

Dawn McGill: (she sighs) Fine.

[Dawn snatches the beer can out of his hand.]

Driver of Golf Cart: Okay…you can do it.

[She shoots him a ‘look.’ Dawn rolls her eyes and opens the can causing the beer to spray out all over her.

The two men bust out laughing and jump right back into their golf cart.

Her face and hair soaked with beer, Dawn whips out a taser and fires it at the driver just as he hits the accelerator.]

Driver of Golf Cart: ARRRGHARRRGHGHARRRRGHGHARRRGHGHGH!

[The cart veers sharply into a tree and tips over.

Final scene: a package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky superimposed over the turned over golf cart and the convulsing driver still suffering the effects of being tased.]

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky. Feed your wild side.

===

Thunderbolt Smith: We are less than three weeks away from Missouri Valley Wrestling’s first big show in several months…MVWA 77…to be held at Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois. Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s Champion Ray McAvay will be putting his title on the line. MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy will be defending her belt and the Island of Misfit Wrestlers will put their tag belts on the line as well. Missouri Valley Wrestling also hits the road this week. Wednesday September 13th, MVW rolls into the heart of Illinois for a weeknight show at the Effingham Performance Center in Effingham, Illinois.  Scheduled to be there: Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, the debut of Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, and the Kardoucheian Empire.

Rick Hall: Then on Friday September 15th, MVW returns to Fort Wayne, Indiana for a Friday night show at the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum.  Television Champion ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler will be there along with Tag Team Champions The Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah, Halitosis, and Dawn McGill, Charlie Blackwell, Kathryn Randall Collins among others.

Thunderbolt Smith: MVW travels west down I-80 for a big Saturday night September 16th show in Valparaiso, Indiana.  Men’s Champion ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay will be on hand, Christa Carmondy, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, SNAFU, and Charlie Blackwell also.

Rick Hall: And finally…Missouri Valley Wrestling finishes the weekend by heading down to Kokomo…Indiana for a Sunday afternoon matinee show. Wrestlers scheduled to appear include: “Cowboy’ Dan Butler, Bo Stevens, Yosemite Samantha, and The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja.

Here are some other upcoming MVW shows…

September 13th – Effingham, IL
September 15th – Fort Wayne, IN
September 16th – Valparaiso, IN
September 17th – Kokomo, IN
September 22nd – Mt. Vernon, IL
September 23rd – Evansville, IN
September 24th – Richmond, IN
September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Allstate Arena / Chicago, IL

===

LOBBY

[The foyer resembles a wrestling flea market with several of the MVW wrestlers holding court and selling merchandise, posing for photos, and signing autographs.]


‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay

[Pan in on MVW Men’s champion Ray McAvay’s booth. Actually, his booth is really nothing more than a simple table fronting a small sized hot tub with West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy…sporting white Ray McAvay ‘Show Up…Punch In…Shut Up…Get to Work’ t-shirts…cavorting inside. Bert the Janitor is also on hand with his trusty mop to clean up any messes and keep the floor dry.]

[McAvay signs a picture for a young fan and then poses for a selfie. The young fan also wants Dark and Stomry in the picture.   McAvay, Dark and Stormy oblige and the picture is taken.]

Woman’s voice: Well, well, well. I guess some things never change.


Lisa Barbosa-Stevens and Bo Stevens

[McAvay looks over. Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, wife of 4 Corners Wrestling and Wrestle UTA (and former High Octane Wrestling with McAvay) wrestler Scott Stevens stands in front of the line. With her is Scott Stevens’s younger brother Bo and Ted Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost, Black Sheep Brother No Knew He Ever Had.]

Ray McAvay: Lisa!

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Well, I’m glad to see that some things never change. Still with the strippers-

Dark and Stormy: ADULT ENTERTAINERS!

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Sorry, adult entertainers.

Ray McAvay: What can I say. It’s never wise to mess with a good thing.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Hey. Whatever works, Ray.

Ray McAvay: I saw Scott’s win over Jeff Andrews at the recent Wrestle UTA show and just heard the news that Scott’s going to the big time. Congratulations.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Thank you. I will pass on your congratulations to him.

Ray McAvay: Well, I know how hard he’s worked and how long he’s been hoping to get a chance to wrestle at the highest level. And where he’s headed is as big as it gets. Scott and I may have had our issues in the past but I’m genuinely happy for him…and for you too.

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Thank you.

Ray McAvay: So, what brings you down here to the minor leagues of pro wrestling?

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Unfinished business.

Ray McAvay: Unfinished business?

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: Yes. Twice, I’ve been on the verge of becoming the MVW Women’s champion. Twice, because the company was going through some sort of issue and shut down temporarily or whatever, I’ve failed to do so. So, I’m here to talk with Jill Berg about signing with MVW one more time to try and win the title.

Ray McAvay: Oh. I know she’s somewhere backstage.

[Lisa checks her watch.]

Lisa Barbosa-Stevens: I’m supposed to meet her in a few minutes. Good talking to you. Congratulations on winning the Men’s title.

Ray McAvay: Thank you. Good luck.

===

[Cut back to the broadcast table.]

Thunderbolt Smith: The return of Lisa Barbosa-Stevens to Missouri Valley Wreslting bolsters what is already a pretty strong women’s division.

Rick Hall: You are correct Thunderbolt. Lisa will be a formidable threat to Christa Carmondy’s title reign. She’s been close. She nearly defeated former champion Sheline Carrigan at MVWA 75 back in April. I have no doubt that once she gets back in prime wrestling shape she’ll be knocking on the door once again.

Thunderbolt Smith: And speaking of challengers for Christa’s MVW Women’s title, we’re about to see another wrestler with designs on the belt right now. Let’s take it back to Kimber Marshall.

[Cut to Kimber Marshall in the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Already in the ring, from Lawton, Oklahoma…ADRIENNE BANKS!


Adrienne Banks

[Banks, a five foot nine inch brunette, raises her right hand as the audience claps.]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…

*’Queen of My Doublewide Trailer’- Sammy Kershaw*

Kimber Marshall: From Magnolia, Arkansas…she is accompanied by the White Trash Posse.

[The White Trash Posse (Shayne and Jaxon) walk out followed by Harlot.]

Well I met her out at Murphy’s restaurant
She said she was fresh from the farm
I remember thinkin’ for a country girl
She went pretty well armed
We sat there talkin’ by the lobster tank
I ordered her a sloe gin fizz
And when them chicken fried steaks arrived
She said “I like livin’ like this”.
So I made her?

Kimber Marshall: She is the Queen of the Trailer Park…LANI…HARLOT!

The queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Sometimes she runs off and I’ve gotta trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck

[Shayne and Jaxon lead Harlot to the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Lani Harlot has improved dramatically inside the ring over the past year.

Rick Hall: Lani was an all-out brawler when she broke into MVW. But she’s really worked on some of the more technical aspects of her wrestling and now she is a legit contender.

Thunderbolt Smith: Ron Martin will be the referee and we are about ready to start.

===============

MATCH TWO

Lani Harlot
STRENGTH-8 SPEED-6 INTELLIGENCE-7 CHARISMA-8 ENDURANCE-6 EXECUTION-6
vs.
Adrienne Banks
STRENGTH-5 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-7 CHARISMA-4 ENDURANCE-6 EXECUTION-7

===============

{…Harlot with a boot to the midsection. She turns around and drives Banks face first to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Running Bulldog by Harlot. She’s setting Banks up for her closer.

Rick Hall: Lani has dominated this match from the opening bell. Harlot looks dead serious about going for the title.

[Harlot grabs Banks by the legs and lifts her horizonally into the air.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Great strength being shown by Lani Harlot.

[While holding Banks’s legs, Harlot brings her up to a vertical position. Then she slams her face first again to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Implant Buster. And that should do it.

[Harlot bends Banks’s legs and grabs her arms. She leans back and forces Banks’s torso to bow towards her. Harlot reaches forward and clasps her hands at Banks’s chin and pulls back.]

Thunderbolt Smith: WHITE TRASH COMPACTOR!

Rick Hall: Adrienne is tapping right away.

[Referee Martin sees Banks tapping out and calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

[Harlot releases the hold and stands up. Banks lays out on the mat. ]

Kimber Marshall: Your winner by submission at two minutes and twenty-seven seconds…The Queen of the Trailer Park- LANI HARLOT!

Thunderbolt Smith: That is a painful looking submission move. An impressive performance from the Queen of the Trailer Park, Rick.

Rick Hall: Lani Harlot continues to impress.

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, speaking of the women’s champion…Christa Carmondy is next, right here on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

===

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Carl’s Jr. Commercial
Announcer Guy: It’s a Carl’s Junior commercial and you know what that means.

[The spot starts as Dark and Stormy, valets for Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s Champion Ray McAvay and wearing McAvay’s official ‘Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work.’ T-shirts (in white) and Daisy Duke Shorts, exit a Carl’s Junior restaurant.  The ladies walk in slow motion towards a pick-up truck hauling a trailer with a hot tub on it…each carrying a bag full of Carl’s Junior food.]

[They climb up onto the trailer and sit on the edge. Feet dangling from the trailer, Dark and Stormy each pull out a Carl’s Jr’s half pound Western Bacon Thickburger and begin to eat in a most sensuous stimulating way.]

[Cut to inside the store, a mother and her two teenage sons are dining. One of the son’s turns and stares at Dark and Stormy. Stormy, her brown hair ruffling in the artificially produced wind thanks to a huge off screen fan, sees the boy and waves.]

[Dark, her black hair also fluttering in the breeze, takes a huge bite from the sandwich and a massive glob of barbeque sauce that’s slathered onto the sandwich falls and stains her pearly white t-shirt. Of course, she’s horrified at the development. She slips off her pumps and climbs into the hot tub. While keeping the Thickburger high and dry, Dark then dunks herself into the water and rises back up. Her hair now wet…and the t-shirt too but thanks to strategic camera placing and shots, we don’t see any more of her than we really need to for mainstream television purposes.]

[The patrons in the restaurant?]

[Cut to the store. A crowd of people flood to the window.]

[Stormy takes a sizable bite of her Thickburger and, shocking, a major glob of barbeque sauce spills onto her white t-shirt. So she kicks off her shoes too and climbs in.]

[More people crowd up against the window.]

[Stormy drops into the water and comes back up. Again, strategic camera position protects America’s prying eyes from seeing more than they should.]

[The mother inside the store with the two teenage boys notices that they are missing. Where did they go?]

[The boys have their faces pressed up against the window and watch.]

[Back to the trailer, a strange man wearing a janitor’s uniform climbs up onto the trailer and hands Dark a supersized bottle of barbeque sauce. She slowly opens up the bottle and proceeds to pour it all over the burger, all over Stormy’s burger, and then all over herself. Being the helpful person she is, Stormy tries to clean up the massive mess her friend just made by licking the sauce off Dark’s shirt…and then her neck…and then her arms.]

[At that point, the crowd that used to be inside the store suddenly stream outside.]

Announcer Guy: Two for the price of one.

[Stormy pours some of the barbeque sauce on herself and Dark begins to lick it off her.]

Announcer Guy: Carl’s Junior’s Half Pound Western Thickburger

[Dark then begins to raise up Stormy’s shirt as the commercial ends.]

===

(Replay: MVWA 76 – MVW Women’s Title Match)
[During the ovation, KRC relaxes for just a split second. Christa sees that and sprints across the ring and drives her shoulder into Collins’s mid-section, nearly breaking KRC in half.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Spear by Christa Carmondy!

[Carmondy sets her up in a side headlock. She then drops stomach first to the mat causing KRC to hit face first.]

Thunderbolt Smith: MEAN GIRL CRUSH!

Rick Hall: Is this the moment?

[Carmondy rolls KRC over and rolls her legs up. Martin again with the count and the crowd counts along…]

Crowd: ONE. TWO. THREE!

Thunderbolt Smith: SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT!

Rick Hall: After all these years.

[Christa drops to a seat in the ring. Eyes well up. She takes a huge breath and covers her eyes.]

Thunderbolt Smith: CHRISTA CARMONDY IS THE MVW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

[Cut to the broadcast desk.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Women’s champion Christa Carmondy is in action next. Let’s go to Kimber Marshall.

[Cut to Kimber in the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall, twenty minute time limit. It is a NON-title match. First, already in the ring. Mrs. Wrestling XXXIV!

[The masked Mrs. Wrestling XXXIV raises her hand to acknowledge the fans applause.]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…

*’Everybody Lay Down’- Pat Benatar*

Kimber Marshall: She is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Women’s champion.

Everybody go ’round, go ’round, go ’round
Everybody lay down, lay down, lay down
Don’t nobody make a sound
Everybody lay down

Kimber Marshall: From St. Louis, Missouri…

Everybody give up, give up, give up
Nobody hang tough, hang tough, hang tough
Life a little too rough
Everybody lay down

Kimber Marshall: CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS-TAH…CARMONDY!

[Christa walks out holding up the MVW Women’s title belt.]

Everybody say hey,
don’t nobody say no
Everybody say wait,
don’t nobody say go
Everybody lay down

Thunderbolt Smith: Christa Carmondy takes on Mrs. Wrestling Thirty Nine

===============

MATCH THREE

Christa Carmondy
STRENGTH-7 SPEED-7 INTELLIGENCE-7 CHARISMA-8 ENDURANCE-8 EXECUTION-8
vs.
Mrs. Wrestling XXXIV
STRENGTH-5 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-6 CHARISMA-4 ENDURANCE-5 EXECUTION-5

===============

[…Mrs. Wrestling comes off the ropes. Christa goes for a clothesline. Mrs. Wrestling ducks and hits the ropes on the other side. Coming back, Mrs. Wrestling surprises everyone when she connects with a knee lift and sends Christa flailing to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: That’s her big move! Christa’s down.

Rick Hall: We’ve got a cover!

[Referee Ron Martin makes the count.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Christa kicks out.]

Thunderbolt Smith: That was close.

[Mrs. Wrestling runs the ropes again. She goes for a second knee lift but Christa evades. Carmondy takes a side headlock. Once set, she drops stomach first to the mat causing Mrs. Wrestling XXXIV to hit face first.]

Thunderbolt Smith: MEAN GIRL CRUSH!

[Carmondy rolls Mrs. Wrestling over and hooks the leg. Martin with the count.]

[One.]

[Two.]

[Three. Martin calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Kimber Marshall: Your winner…Missouri Valley Wrestling Women’s Champion…CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSS-TAH CARMONDY!

Thunderbolt Smith: Christa Carmondy with the victory here on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

[MVW’s backstage interviewer Blair Moise steps into the ring.]


Blair Moise

Thunderbolt Smith: And it looks like Blair Moise is going to get a few words with Christa. Blair?

Blair Moise: Blair Moise here with the Missouri Valley Wrestling Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy.

[Blair puts her arm around Christa.]

Blair Moise: Christa, have you settled in being the champion yet?

Christa Carmondy: No. I haven’t. I’ve wanted this for so long. I went about it the wrong way for so long. And that I’ve got the belt…it still feels a little weird. Like a dream. I just want to thank everyone for the support they’ve given me. I never was a true ‘face’ wrestler so to hear the crowd cheer for me when I won the belt was…well, it was overwhelming.

[The audience applauds.]

Blair Moise: Christa, of course now the business at hand is retaining the title and there’s a line of women jockeying for position for a title shot at MVWA 77.

Christa Carmondy: Yep. Obviously, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens coming back means she’ll be a definite threat. I’m glad to see Lisa here and I’m looking forward to more big battles with her in the future. We saw ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot earlier tonight. Lani’s become a factor. Kathryn Randall Collins is always someone that I have to keep a close eye on. ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris. The Sports Entertainment Corporation. MVW’s women’s division is chock full of talent and every night you have to be on your best form or else.

Blair Moise: Do you have a preference on who you meet on September 30th at MVWA 77?

Christa Carmondy: No, not really. Whether it’s Lisa, Lani, KRC, or Queen Cool, I can’t wait to get to Chicago and put it all on the line at the Allstate Arena.

Blair Moise: I’m sure the Allstate Arena is looking forward to it.

Christa Carmondy: That’s right, Blair. You know, when MVW shut down temporarily back in May, I really thought that I’d never win the MVW Women’s title. For the next couple of months, I travelled all across the country trying to get my head straightened out and biding my time for the next big opportunity. When MVW reopened, I was ready for this. And I took the opportunity that was presented to me.

Blair Moise: Yes you did.

Christa Carmondy: So, whomever I face at MVWA 77, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens…Kathryn Randall Collins…’Queen Cool’ Leah Iris…’Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot…Tess or Regina…I’m determined not to let any of them take this belt away from me. In Chicago, Illinois, Christa Carmondy will show everyone just why she is the MVW Women’s champion.

Blair Moise: Thank you Christa.

Christa Carmondy: Thanks Blair.

Blair Moise: MVW Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy.

===

BACKSTAGE

[Halitosis mixes up a bunch of food- the world’s most stenchiest cheeses, onions, garlic, jalapenos, green peppers, banana peppers, and curry powder- and crams it all into an industrial sized blender.]

[‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill makes a sour face.]

Dawn McGill: Okay. Just how old is that cheese?

Halitosis: Three weeks old.

Dawn McGill: Wait a minute. You bought that in Australia?

Halitosis: Yeah. Still had a little bit left. Why?

Halitosis looks at the cheese. It has a green streak right through the heart of it and fuzzy things growing.

Halitosis shrugs and jams it into the blender. He turns it on.

Dawn covers her mouth and runs towards the bathroom

===

UPCOMING MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING SHOWS

September 13th – Effingham, IL
September 15th – Fort Wayne, IN
September 16th – Valparaiso, IN
September 17th – Kokomo, IN
September 22nd – Mt. Vernon, IL
September 23rd – Evansville, IN
September 24th – Richmond, IN
September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Allstate Arena / Chicago, IL

===

*’Rough Justice’- Rolling Stones*

[The crowd boos as D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice come out. Both Ruff and Justice wear police uniforms and dark sunglasses as they walk to the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Well, Rough Justice is on the way to the ring as we are about ready for tonight’s feature match.

[Kimber Marshall is in the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our feature match is a non-title match, one fall twenty minute limit. From Dawson, Georgia…D.B. Ruff. And from Abbeville, Georgia…Connor Justice. They are two former police officers fired because of their extreme method of law enforcement- ROUGH! JUSTICE!

D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

One time you were my baby chicken
Now you’ve grown into a fox
And once upon a time I was your little rooster
Am I just one of your cocks?

It’s rough justice, oh yeah!
You’re gonna have to trust me
It’s rough justice
But you know I never break your heart

[Ruff and Justice climb into the ring]

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents, they are the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions!

Halitosis, Rah, and ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill

“I’m sinfully delicious!”

[Dawn McGill’s high-pitched, squeaky tone (done in annoyingly brainless blonde bombshell sing-song tone to the tune of the tag from the Lucky Charm’s cereal commercial) heralds the arrival of the once Six Foot Tall Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt now turned sports entertainment eye candy.]

[Slinking out onto the stage in a gold one piece strapless dress that just barely covered her breasts and went down to mid-thigh, gold high heel shoes, copious makeup on her face, teased platinum hair right out of the 1980’s, and bright red lipstick on her lips, McGill rolls her eyes at the sound of her high pitched voice over the loudspeaker and then snaps back into her sports entertainment Barbie character.]

Kimber Marshall: First, led to the ring by his valet- ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill…

[McGill struts her way down the ramp and stops intermittently to pose for the fans. Three quarters of the way down, someone in the crowd holds up a bouquet of flowers that catches her attention. She points to the fan with the sign and motions him to come to the guardrail. The fan, who appears to be college stude7nt age, goes over to meet her. Dawn smiles at the kid, grabs the side of his face with both hands, and plants a full mouth, no holds barred kiss on the surprised student.]

[In the heat of the moment, the student finds his hand gravitating towards McGill’s breasts. Instinctively, Dawn slaps the hand away.]

Dawn McGill: Don’t touch those.

Lucky Student: Sorry.

[Once the kiss ends, McGill- lipstick slightly smeared on her face, giggles as she backs away from the college student- his face also smeared with red lipstick, and continues on towards the ring.]

[Next, a lucha wrestler walks out on the ramp.  He is dressed in all black with a giant ‘H’ on the front of his shirt.  He also has a strange greenish-purple haze emitting from his mouth and he doesn’t look like he’s feeling good.]

Kimber Marshall: …hailing from the Island of Misfit Wrestlers and weighing in tonight at one hundred seventy pounds.  He is the ‘Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene.’  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you- HALITOSIS!

[The masked wrestler appears on the stage with a grocery bag. Halitosis half-heartedly pumps his first in the air and then starts down the ramp towards the ring.  He goes to slap someone’s hands along the way but then he stops and vomits into the grocery bag in front of a young fan in the front row.]

Thunderbolt Smith: He looks green as hell.

Rick Hall: He shouldn’t have eaten the mold infested cheese, Thunderbolt Smith.

[Halitosis, looking a little woozy, continues on and reaches the ring area.  He climbs up on the ring apron and leaps over the top rope into the ring catching his foot on the rope and stumbling into the ring.]

[Shrugging his shoulders, Halitosis looks out over the ropes and raises his arms in the air.]

Kimber Marshall: And his partner, from-

[Kimber is interrupted by a man dressed in an expensive suit and bow-tie who’s just climbed into the ring.  He elbows Powers out of the way and gestures for her to take a temporary powder once again because he’s the one who’s been given the honor and privilege of introducing a living deity.]

Announcer Guy: Hit it!

[Over the loudspeaker, a buzzing synth sound blares and the announcer guy raises the microphone to his mouth.]

Announcer Guy (in a voice not unlike Michael Buffer): Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the sun gods of all creation. He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day. He is the great, fiery globe in the sky, a welcome, nurturing presence to honor the season. He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the 1950s. And just for your reference, he is, for 33 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego‘s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends. But that’s not important.

[He pauses and looks out at the crowd as the lights turn off.  A small spotlight illuminates the ramp where the BeachBronze Suntan Bikini Girls are standing.]

[The bikini girls pose on the ramp.  Then two large, hulking men carry out a golden sedan chair holding a six foot eight inch, two hundred and eighty pound man dressed in long flowing robes inside.]

Announcer Guy: Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight. I give to you…the reason the Earth doesn‘t float away in the vastness of space…the reason it’s eighty degrees outside and not minus four hundred and fifty-nine point six seven…and the reason Brian Wilson wrote all those great songs…ladies and gentlemen…bow down before the Sunshine God…

[Rah’s friend and middle-aged folk singer Happy Mango follows strumming a guitar with Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy.]

Announcer Guy: …RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[The procession stops at the ring steps. Rah climbs out of his golden sedan chair and prepares to climb into the ring.]

=======================

FEATURE MATCH / NON-TITLE MATCH

Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions
Rah
STRENGTH-8 SPEED-4 INTELLIGENCE-5 CHARISMA-8 ENDURANCE-5 EXECUTION-5
Halitosis STRENGTH-4 SPEED-7 INTELLIGENCE-6 CHARISMA-6 ENDURANCE-8 EXECUTION-7
vs.
D.B. Ruff
STRENGTH-7 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-6 CHARISMA-4 ENDURANCE-5 EXECUTION-5
Conner Justice
STRENGTH-7 SPEED-4 INTELLIGENCE-5 CHARISMA-5 ENDURANCE-5 EXECUTION-5

========================

Thunderbolt Smith: We’re going to get our first look at Rough Justice.

Rick Hall: I imagine that Rough Justice will try to live up to their moniker here. They’ll try to turn this into a real scrap…a street fight.

Thunderbolt Smith: And the Island of Misfit Wrestlers have Dawn McGill in their corner and that’s always a plus.

Rick Hall: Absolutely, Thunderbolt. Rah and Halitosis were a thrown together tag team to participate in the 4CW Bad Company show. Somehow ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill guided them to the MVW Tag Team title.   They’re getting better…even if their performance at Bad Company didn’t exactly shine. But they need to keep improving because ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks of the SEC are on the horizon and you know that ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann will have them geared up and ready to challenge for those belts.

Thunderbolt Smith: And it hurts them that Halitosis is not at one hundred percent.

[Referee Davey Keels calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: Halitosis and Connor Justice to start.

[They circle. Collar and elbow tie up. Justice bulls Halitosis into the corner but keeps his face away from the Luchador with Insanely Bad Breath. Right hand by Justice to the gut. Right by Justice to the face. Another right by Justice. Rake to the eyes…Justice whips Halitosis across the ring into the opposite corner turnbuckle. Justice charges but Halitosis isn’t there. Arm drag takedown by Halitosis. Justice back up…arm drag takedown again by Halitosis. Standing drop kick sends Justice back to the mat. Justice tries to grab the ropes but Halitosis sends him for a ride to the ropes. Justice delivers an elbow to the back of the neck on the return and Halitosis is driven to his knees. Justice tags Ruff and gives Halitosis a sucker punch to the midsection as a parting gift.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Cheap shot by Connor Justice as D.B. Ruff tags in.

Rick Hall: That’s what they’re going to do, Thunderbolt. Every chance they get. Halitosis is sluggish and he’s not moving as well as he usually does.

[Ruff drives Halitosis to the ropes and hits a pair of clubbing blows to the back. Ruff grabs him by the back of the neck and by the tights and slams Halitosis into the corner turnbuckle. Another elbow to the back of the neck by Ruff and he tags Justice back in.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Rough Justice are as advertised, Rick.

Rick Hall: What they will try to do is isolate the weak link and then exploit it. They it’s Halitosis and that’s why they are not going to let him tag out if all else possible. McGill will have her hands full coming up with a strategy to overcome Rough Justice’s bully boy tactics.

[Cut to the outside, McGill poses for selfies with the crowd and generally isn’t paying attention to the match. Plus, Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy lurks nearby…always on the lookout to get a good view of her feet.]

Rick Hall: Really. She is thinking strategy there.

Thunderbolt Smith: I think she’s strategizing how to stay away from Bob Nye.

Rick Hall: Could be.

[Ruff briefly chokes Halitosis on the ropes as Justice climbs in. Halitosis is whipped across the ring to the ropes. Ruff drops to the mat. Halitosis hops over and runs right into a clothesline by Justice. Elbow drop. Justice lifts Halitosis up and drops him on the top rope. Justice lays the boots in.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Halitosis is getting mugged. He’s got to get over to his corner and get a tag to Rah.

Rick Hall: Yeah, they know he’s not well and they’re going to keep doing that until either Halitosis gives up or gets pinned. They really could use some help from McGill.

[Again, McGill appears indifferent to Halitosis’s plight. She’s sitting in a chair at ringside and filing her fingernails.]

Rick Hall: Really could use some help from McGill.

[Justice pulls Halitosis back up…Halitosis tries to fight back. Rake to the eyes by Justice and then he leads Halitosis over to the big boot of Ruff and drives his head into the boot. Right by Justice. Right by Justice. Halitosis ducks the third right hand and kicks Justice’s right leg…then the left leg. Justice misses another right hand. Halitosis tries to use his breath but Justice dives out of danger.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Justice misses and then dives out of the way before Halitosis breathes on him. Can Halitosis tag Rah in.

[Halitosis seizes the opening and does exactly that- he dives to tag Rah in.]

Thunderbolt Smith: YES! Halitosis tags Rah in and here we go!

[Rah decks Justice with a right hand.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Down goes Justice!

[Ruff climbs in. Rah decks him with a right hand.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Down goes D.B. Ruff!

[Justice back up- Rah sends him right back down with a right hand. Ruff back up. Rah kicks him in the balls and doubles him over. Then he sends Ruff through the ropes to the floor.]

Rick Hall: Rah is cleaning house, Thunderbolt!

Thunderbolt Smith: OH!

[Justice low blows Rah from behind. Justice hooks Rah’s head and leg and falls backwards to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Russian Leg Sweep by Justice and that stops Rah’s momentum.

Rick Hall: Rough Justice takes the shortcut but it’s effective.

[Justice then wraps his hands around Rah’s neck…blatant chokehold. Rah tries to fight back. Referee Davey Keels warns Justice.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Davey Keels just told Connor Justice to break the hold or else he was going to disqualify him.

[Justice clocks Rah with a right hand. And another. Keels warns Justice about the closed fist. Justice waves Keels away and hits Rah with a third right hand.]

Rick Hall: Justice is riding that line.

Thunderbolt Smith: He’s pushing his luck- that’s what he’s doing.

[Several boots to the midsection and then Justice tags Keels back in.

Rick Hall: Neither Rah or Halitosis have really been much in this match so far.

Thunderbolt Smith: And again, Dawn McGill is being distracted by Bob Nye.

[Cut briefly to McGill wagging her finger at Bob Nye and telling him to stay away from her.]

[Ruff with more stomps on Rah. He tugs on the Sunshine God and pulls him to his feet. Ruff pushes Rah back into his corner. Halitosis tags in. He goes top rope and propels himself in the air. Ruff sidesteps and drives Halitosis’s head down to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Rick, I agree. This has not been Rah and Halitosis’s best outing. And someone needs to put a leash on Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy.

[Ruff grabs Halitosis’s wrist on the same side and the opposite arm is put behind the opponent’s arm, grabs the other wrist and forming a figure-four. Ruff cranks the arm away from Halitosis, and pressures the shoulder joint.]

Thunderbolt Smith: KIMURA LOCK!

Rick Hall: Submission move and Ruff is trying to tear Halitosis’s arm out of his socket. He is in big trouble here.

[Halitosis taps out right away.]

Thunderbolt Smith: He taps out. Halitosis is tapping out but the referee doesn’t see him!

Rick Hall: Guess what?

[Dawn McGill has referee Davey Keels full attention as she kisses him.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McGill makes the save again…

Rick Hall: WAIT A MINUTE!

[While Keels is preoccupied, Ruff pulls out a taser and takes out Halitosis with it.

Rick Hall: That’s a taser, Thunderbolt.

[Halitosis twitches on the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McGill doesn’t see it!

[Rah races into the ring.   Justice cuts him off and he tasers Rah.]

Thunderbolt Smith: JUSTICE TASERS RAH!

[Rah down and twitching. Ruff and Justice each start stomping away at the tag team champions.]

Rick Hall: It’s open season on the tag champs.

[McGill finally sees what’s went down and pulls away from Keels. Keels looks in the ring and sees Rah and Halitosis down…Ruff and Justice both stomping on them- each with taser in hand. Keels calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

[McGill goes to climb into the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Davey Keels is going to throw this out.

Rick Hall: WATCH OUT!

Khourtney, Ken, Koley, and Khris Kardoucheian

[Ken and Koley Kardoucheian cut through the ring and hit a stereo dropkick to McGill, sending her flying off the ring apron and landing hard on the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: IT’S THE KARDOUCHEIANS!

[The Kardoucheian’s film crew also follow them down to record what transpires. ]

*DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: IT’S PAYBACK TIME FOR THE KARDOUCHEIAN EMPIRE! THEY’VE ATTACKED DAWN McGILL AND SENT HER OUT OF THE RING.

[Khourtney and Khris also climb into the ring.   Khris goes up to Connor Justice and hands him an envelope. Justice opens it up and there’s a wad of cash inside.]

Thunderbolt Smith: This was all a set up. The Kardoucheians paid Rough Justice to tee up the MVW Tag Team champions for them.

[In the midst of the chaos, Rah’s associates Happy Mango and Bob Nye swiftly herd the BronzeBeach Suntan Bikini team to the back.]

Rick Hall: This has been building up, Thunderbolt. There’s been so much bad blood between the Kardoucheians, Rah, Halitosis, and Dawn McGill the past few weeks you knew at some point it was going to explode.

[Ken and Koley pull a woozy Dawn McGill up from the floor. The Kardoucheian’s film crew gets a close up of the dazed McGill. Ken and Koley shout something into the camera.]

Thunderbolt Smith: The Kardoucheians have McGill set up.

Rick Hall: This isn’t good.

[Both Ken and Koley drive her head to the floor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: WHOA!

*DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: DOUBLE STAR-CROSSED STUNNER TO DAWN McGILL ON THE FLOOR!

Rick Hall: She’s been knocked out, Thunderbolt.

[McGill lays face first on the floor. Ken and Koley celebrate and mug for the camera. They point down at the unconscious McGill.]

Thunderbolt Smith: And now Rah and Halitosis are being thrown out of the ring.

[Khourtney drags Halitosis up and tosses him through the ropes to the floor. Ruff and Justice pull Rah up and heaves him through the middle ropes out of the ring.]

*DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING*

[Ken and Koley each take an arm and pull Dawn off the floor. They place stand her up with her back against the side of the ring.  Khris rolls out of the ring and pulls out a pair of handcuffs.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Khris Kardoucheian is handcuffing Dawn McGill to the ring ropes.

[He handcuffs Dawn’s left wrist up to the middle rope…then the right wrist. Her head flops forward and her knees buckle causing her body to drop and her arms to extend out. Khris calls their film crew over.]

Rick Hall: The Kardoucheians have bided their time and waiting for this moment to get payback on the Island of Misfit Wrestlers…

Thunderbolt Smith: And particularly Dawn McGill.

Rick Hall: Especially Dawn McGill.

[With the film crew in close quarters, Khris mocks McGill who’s hung up on the ropes. With both hands, he grabs her face, says something unpleasant, and presses his lips against hers.]

Thunderbolt Smith: HE’S KISSING HER!

[Yes, the patriarch kisses the oblivious McGill…mocking her penchant for making out with referee Davey Keels and random fans. After he’s done, McGill’s head flops back down]

Thunderbolt Smith: Rah and Halitosis are out! McGill is strung up with no way to defend herself.

Rick Hall: Someone needs to run down there and stop this.

Thunderbolt Smith: Are you volunteering?

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, are you kidding? I’m retired.

[Ken and Koley also taunt McGill.   Ken slaps her across the face…twice. Then they talk to the camera filming this for their reality chair while Khris pulls a chair out from under the ring. He hands it to Koley.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Oh, no. She’s out. She’s defenseless.

Rick Hall: That’s not going to matter, Thunderbolt. She’s embarrassed them repeatedly and tonight they’re looking for a pound of flesh.

[Koley raises the chair.]

*CHARLIE WRESTLING!*


Charlie Blackwell

Thunderbolt Smith: HOLD ON A MINUTE! THAT’S CHARLIE BLACKWELL!

Rick Hall: He’s Dawn McGill’s younger cousin and the one who introduced him to pro wrestling. No surprise there.

[Blackwell races out. The Kardoucheians see him and aren’t sure what to do.]

*’Do You Hear the People Sing?’- Les Miserables*


‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!

Thunderbolt Smith: HERE COMES RAY McAVAY!

When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

[McAvay sprints to the ring holding a Big Bertha driver in his hand. The Kardoucheians see him and know it’s time to go.]

Thunderbolt Smith: AND THAT’S THE CUE FOR THE KARDOUCHEIANS TO MAKE THEIR EXIT!

[The Kardoucheians and their film crew high tail it out of there leaving McAvay and Blackwell.]

[Ray McAvay goes over to his ex-wife Dawn McGill to check on her. Blackwell looks on…shrugs…and then blasts him from behind.]

Thunderbolt Smith: AND NOW BLACKWELL ATTACKS McAVAY!

Rick Hall: Blackwell has his eyes set on the MVW Men’s title, Thunderbolt.

[The force of the impact sends the Big Bertha driver flying out of McAvay’s hand. McAvay whirls around and drills Blackwell with a right hand.]

Thunderbolt Smith: This is another situation that’s waiting to blow up!

Rick Hall: I think it already has, Thunderbolt.

[As McGill hangs helplessly handcuffed to the middle rope, the former friends turned rivals have a knock down brawl as the show comes to an end.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Yes he does. That’s going to do it for this week. MVWA 77 is three weeks away. Charlie Blackwell and P.M.C. Banks will face the Island of Misfit Wrestlers for the tag team title and Blackwell and Ray McAvay may also be on a collision course for the Men’s belt. We’ll see you next week.

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About Art Nouveaux

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