MVW Sunday Night Wrestling- August 27th

(MVWA 76 – MVW Men’s Title Match / Final Two: Charlie Blackwell and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay)
[…in the middle of the ring, Blackwell has McAvay in a half nelson with one arm and his neck with the other while his legs body scissored around McAvay.]

‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall: HE’S GOT HIM!

Thunderbolt Smith: Blackwell has the Katahajime on McAvay…Blackwell has the Katahajime on McAvay!

[McAvay tries to roll back and forth but Blackwell has the hold locked in tight. After a few second, he taps.]

Thunderbolt Smith: THAT’S IT! HE’S TAPPING OUT!

[McAvay is tapping out. But for some reason the referee hasn’t called for the bell.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAvay’s tapping but-

Rick Hall: Look!

[The crowd pops big when McAvay’s West Texas Adult Entertainment Legend friends Dark and Stormy climb up onto the ring apron. Dark, the one with jet black hair, and Stormy, the one with red hair, both start to suggestively unbutton their official MVW Ray McAvay ‘Show Up…Punch In…Shut Up…Get to Work’ baseball jerseys and have referee Davey Keels full attention.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Dark and Stormy have distracted referee Davey Keels and he doesn’t see McAvay tapping out.

[Blackwell finally realizes that Keels isn’t watching the action and releases the hold. He jumps back to his feet and sees Keels watching the impromptu striptease in the McAvay corner.]

Rick Hall: Blackwell sees what’s going on and he does not look pleased.

Thunderbolt Smith: He had the match won, Rick. I can’t blame him.

[Slipping around the side of the ring is McAvay’s consigliore, Bert the Janitor.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Hold on! It’s Bert the Janitor.

[Bert slides a Big Bertha driver into the ring.]

Rick Hall: Blackwell is going over to Davey Keels. He doesn’t see what’s going on behind him.

[McAvay grabs the golf club and gets back to his feet.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAvay’s got the Big Bertha!

[Before Blackwell can get to Keels, McAvay swings and whaps him in the back of the head with the club.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAvay cuts down Blackwell with the Big Bertha driver.

[Blackwell drops like a shot and the crowd pops again. McAvay immediately slings the club under the bottom rope and makes the cover.]

Thunderbolt Smith: McAvay for the win…

[Dark starts buttoning up her shirt and points Keels towards the ring. Keels sees the cover. He immediately drops to the mat and counts…one…two…three.]

Thunderbolt Smith: …he does it! Ray McAvay has just won the Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s title!

MVW Sunday Night Wrestling
Sunday August 27th, 2017
MVW Television Studio
St. Louis, MO
Host: Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall

[Close up on Thunderbolt Smith and ‘Long Haul’ Rick Hall at the MVW broadcast desk.]

Thunderbolt Smith: At MVWA 76, Ray McAvay outsmarted Charlie Blackwell and he is now the new, and first, Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s Champion.

Rick Hall: Thunderbolt, Ray McAvay won gold in the big show on the big stage at High Octane Wrestling last year at HOW biggest show- War Games and he did it with his Les Miserables in his corner…West Texas Adult Entertainment Legend’s Dark and Stormy and the ever present Bert the Janitor. It’s no surprise that he’s come to Missouri Valley Wrestling and outlasted nine other men to become MVW’s first men’s champion.

Thunderbolt Smith: No surprise at all. But-

[Charlie Blackwell storms onto the set dressed in a nice suit.]

Thunderbolt Smith: …here comes Charlie Blackwell.

Rick Hall: I’m sure Charlie has a different spin on what went down.

Charlie Blackwell: Thunderbolt, I walked into the ring at MVWA 76 with one thing in mind- winning the MVW title. And dammit, Ray McAvay tapped out and I won the match. Me. Charlie Wrestling.

Thunderbolt Smith: Charlie, unfortunately referee Davey Keels did NOT see Ray McAvay tap out-

Charlie Blackwell: Of course, Keels didn’t see McAvay tap out.

[Blackwell glances at the imaginary watch on his right wrist.]

Charlie Blackwell: Because at the time that Keels was supposed to be refereeing a wrestling match, he had already moved on to the post-show because he was too busy gawking at a pair of Texas strippers in the corner when he should have been paying attention.

Rick Hall: Charlie, with all due respect. You were a part of the Les Miserables. You knew McAvay’s modus operandi going into the match.

Charlie Blackwell: Of course I know McAvay’s game plan. It’s the same game plan every match. Wrestle. Wrestle. Fall behind.  Get his ass kicked. The strippers do their thing. Bert throws him the Big Bertha. McAvay wins. I know the whole stinkin’ routine!

Rick Hall: Then why didn’t you take that into consideration-

Charlie Blackwell: I shouldn’t have to take that into consideration, Rick. I don’t need a three ring circus at ringside to win matches. Charlie Wrestling doesn’t need to do that crap. Why? Because I’m Charlie Wrestling. Ray McAvay may technically be the MVW Men’s champion but that belt rightfully belongs to me- Charlie Wrestling. And Charlie Wrestling demands a title match against Ray McAvay.

Thunderbolt Smith: Besides the match at MVWA 76, what is your issue with Ray McAvay?

Charlie Blackwell: Again Thunderbolt, it comes down to this. My cousin Dawn McGill put every cent she had…or tried to put every cent she had into keeping PCW alive. Ray and a few other PCW dead enders were upset because she finally did the right thing and shut the damn down because not doing so was going to bankrupt her. McAvay has other business interests that provide income. Dawn McGill does not. Someone had to step forward and take care of McGill and as her certified financial planner that’s what I did and what I’m doing going forward.

[Turns and looks right into the camera.]

Charlie Blackwell: Ray, the past is in the past. I’m coming for that title. Missouri Valley Wrestling. Make it happen.

[Blackwell storms off.]

Thunderbolt Smith: A very unhappy Charlie Blackwell.

Rick Hall: I completely understand why he’s frustrated. But I ask again, should Blackwell have known that Dark and Stormy and Bert the Janitor might get involved in the match? I say, yes.

Thunderbolt Smith: Also on tonight’s card, the semi-finals of the tag team title tournament, MVW CEO Jill Berg will make an announcement about the Television Title, and both the Men’s and Women’s champion will be here tonight on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling. Let’s go to the ring for our first match.

[Ring announcer Kimber Marshall raises the microphone and kicks off the evening’s action.]

Kimber Marshall: Our first match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Already in the ring, from Chesterfield, Missouri…GWENNNNN…VARNEY!

[Gwen Varney, a 32 year old brunette with medium length hair and generic ring attire raises her hand to acknowledge the crowd’s polite applause.]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent.

“Ninja Cat Theme Song”

Kimber Marshall: From Rio Rancho, New Mexico. Please welcome…NEEEEEEN-JAH…KITTY!

[Dressed in all black, Ninja Kitty bounds out and sprints to the ring. She leaps forward and slides underneath the ropes on her stomach. Then she springs to her feet and does a few ninja-like moves for the crowd.]

Kimber Marshall: Davey Keels is the man in charge of the match.

========================

MATCH ONE:

Ninja Kitty
STRENGTH-3 SPEED-10 INTELLIGENCE-7 CHARISMA-4 ENDURANCE-6 EXECUTION-7
vs.
Gwen Varney
STRENGTH-4 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-5 CHARISMA-3 ENDURANCE-4 EXECUTION-5

========================

Thunderbolt Smith: Long time MVW fan favorite Ninja Kitty takes on long time MVW veteran Gwen Varney.

Rick Hall: Gwen’s a serviceable wrestler. But Ninja Kitty has simply a whole different gear. She is so fast and so difficult to catch. When she’s on, her opponents are Wile E. Coyote trying to track down the Road Runner.

*DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: And here we go.

[Ninja Kitty darts forward at the bell kicks Varney in the face. She leaps over Varney and rolls her up but Varney kicks out at two. Ninja Kitty kips up. She jumps to the middle rope and springs off hitting a high crossbody on Varney. Ninja Kitty with the schoolgirl roll up. Varney gets the shoulder up at two.]

Rick Hall: Ninja Kitty is not wasting any time here. Varney’s a capable wrestler but she can’t handle her extreme quickness

[Varney gets a couple shots in. She sents Ninja Kitty for the ride into the ropes. Ninja Kitty ducks the clothesline on the return and she runs the ropes. Varney turns and ducks her head for a back body drop. Ninja Kitty stops and front kicks her in the face. Varney staggers. Standing drop kick by Ninja Kitty sends Varney into the ropes. Ninja Kitty then drops to the mat and brings Varney down with a drop toehold. She scampers right to the top rope in the corner. She pauses and waits as Varney drags herself back up.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Varney back to her feet. But what does Ninja Kitty have in mind?

[Ninja Kitty backflips and comes down on Varney bending her forward…then she plants her with a DDT.]

Thunderbolt Smith: SHOOTING STAR DDT!

[Ninja Kitty rolls over and hooks the leg. Referee Davey Keels slides in to make the count. One. Two. Three. Keels calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Thunderbolt Smith: It was just a matter of time. Your winner- Ninja Kitty.

Rick Hall: She was just too fast for Gwen Varney, Thunderbolt. Way too fast.

Thunderbolt Smith: Missouri Valley Wrestling hits the road again this week. On August 30th, MVW will be in Memphis…no, not THAT Memphis…Memphis, Missouri, for a Wednesday night show at the Scotland County High School Gymnasium. MVW Men’s Champion Ray McAvay, Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy, The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja, and many of the top MVW stars will be on hand. Seven thirty bell time.

Rick Hall: Then on Friday September 1st, MVW returns to the MST Gym in Rolla, Missouri for a big show. Charlie Blackwell, PMC Banks, Weapons of Mass Destruction and Regina McGill are scheduled to be on hand for a fun night of wrestling.

Thunderbolt Smith: And on Saturday September 2nd, MVW has a big show at the JHQ Arena in Springfield, Missouri. Rah and Halitosis with ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill will make their first appearance back in MVW after their participation in this Wednesday night’s 4CW Bad Company pay per view show. Also scheduled on the card, Ray McAvay, Christa Carmondy, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, and Charlie Blackwell.   Here are some other upcoming MVW shows as we head towards MVWA 77 at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois on Saturday September 30th

August 30th – Memphis, MO
September 1st – Rolla, MO
September 2nd – Springfield, MO
September 3rd – Poplar Bluff, MO
September 8th – Sioux City, IA
September 9th – Des Moines, IA
September 10th – Lincoln, NE
September 13th – Effingham, NE
September 15th – Fort Wayne, IN
September 16th – Valparaiso, IN
September 17th – Kokomo, IN
September 22nd – Mt. Vernon, IL
September 23rd – Evansville, IN
September 24th – Richmond, IN
September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Allstate Arena / Chicago, IL

(MVWA 76 – MVW Women’s Title Match / Final Three: Christa Carmondy, Kathryn Randall Collins, ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan )
[The ‘Masked Marauder’ places ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin’s head between her legs. She springs forward, leaping over Tessa, and lands on her butt. Tessa then flips backwards and gets spiked on the mat. The crowd pops.]

Thunderbolt Smith: CANADIAN DESTROYER!

Rick Hall: Hold on a second, Thunderbolt.  There’s only one woman wrestler I know who can pull that move off.

[The Masked Marauder presses down on Tess. Referee Ron Martin makes the count. One. Two. Three.]

Thunderbolt Smith: And ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin has been eliminated-

Rick Hall: She’s taking off the mask.

[The Masked Marauder removes the mask. Bright red hair appears. Then the face. Everyone knows who it is.]

Thunderbolt Smith: It’s the last Missouri Valley Wrestling champion Sheline Carrigan!

Rick Hall: The Canadian Cyborg is BACK!

… … …

[Collins’s legs are held very high against Carrigan’s upper back. KRC slips one foot in front of Carrigan’s head and under her chin, locks her hands behind the head, and presses her shin or instep against the trachea.]

Thunderbolt Smith: GOGOPLATA!

Rick Hall: Carrigan’s stuck!

Thunderbolt Smith: I don’t think she’s getting out of this!

[Carrigan fights but after ten, fifteen more seconds, she finally taps out.]

Thunderbolt Smith: We will have a new Missouri Valley Wrestling Women’s champion! Sheline Carrigan has just been eliminated.

[The crowd stands up and gives Carrigan a standing ovation. Carrigan pulls herself up and acknowledges the crowd.]

Thunderbolt Smith: A huge sign of respect for Sheline Carrigan and…CHRISTA!

[During the ovation, KRC relaxes for just a split second. Christa sees that and sprints across the ring and drives her shoulder into Collins’s mid-section, nearly breaking KRC in half.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Spear by Christa Carmondy!

[Carmondy sets her up in a side headlock. She then drops stomach first to the mat causing KRC to hit face first.]

Thunderbolt Smith: MEAN GIRL CRUSH!

Rick Hall: Is this the moment?

[Carmondy rolls KRC over and rolls her legs up. Martin again with the count and the crowd counts along…]

Crowd: ONE. TWO. THREE!

Thunderbolt Smith: SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT!

Rick Hall: After all these years.

[Christa drops to a seat in the ring. Eyes well up. She takes a huge breath and covers her eyes.]

Thunderbolt Smith: CHRISTA CARMONDY IS THE MVW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

[Cut back live.  Christa walks out with the MVW Women’s title to a warm round of applause. She joins Thunderbolt and Hall at the broadcast desk.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Christa, you’ve been so close before. What was going through your mind at MVWA 76?

Christa Carmondy: Honestly? I saw Kathryn Randall Collins switch off for that split second after Sheline tapped out and knew what I had to do. It was just a gut reaction on my part. The rest of it is just a blur. All I remember was sitting in that ring and realizing what I’d just done.

Rick Hall: Christa, you’ve knocked on that door so many times in the past only to be denied by wrestlers such as Miss USA, Valora Salinas, and even Sheline Carrigan.

Christa Carmondy: Um…let’s face it. I was immature back then and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to become a champion. I think I learned the most from Valora Salinas, God bless here wherever she is now. Valora held herself here in MVW the way a true champion should hold herself. She took on all comers and never left anything in the ring. One hundred percent effort night in and night out. I almost got there last year but again, take nothing away from Sheline Carrigan. She is a great wrestler and I wish her the best in her future.

Thunderbolt Smith: So now that you’re champion, where do you go from here.

Christa Carmondy: Well first, I want to thank a few people. First, the fans. Yes, I incurred your wrath on more than one occasion in my younger days. But wherever and whenever Missouri Valley Wrestling has showed up, you guys still come out and support us. Thank you. Second, my older brother Jason Carmondy. You never let me take a shortcut for anything. You never just let me have my way. You made me earn everything and for that, I am greatly appreciative. Third, my mother Dame Judith Carmondy. You didn’t want me to get into wrestling. But once I started down the dark side you did everything in your power to make sure I had every chance to succeed. Thank you Mother.

[Christa raises up the MVW Women’s belt.]

Christa Carmondy: I will never be the stereotypical ‘face’ wrestler. That’s just not in my makeup. But I promise you all this. I will do everything in my power to bring honor to this belt. Thank you.

[The crowd stands and applauds.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Missouri Valley Wrestling Women’s champion Christa Carmondy everyone.

[Cut to backstage.]

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW

[Missouri Valley Wrestling’s blonde backstage interviewer gets ready to talk.]

Blair Moise: Blair Moise backstage with the CEO of Missouri Valley Wrestling. The corporate predator and the phenomenon known as JILLLL-BERG!

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[The door to Jill Berg’s office opens a few seconds later. Sixteen large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes.]

[The procession stops at Blair’s location.]

Blair Moise: Jill, you have some news about the MVW Tag Team Titles.

Jill Berg: Yes I do, Blair. Over the weekend, we crowned a new Missouri Valley Wrestling tag team champion. Four teams met in a pair of elimination matches Friday night in Fort Scott, Kansas.

(Fort Scott, KS House Show: The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja- Hank and Tiny w/April O’Neale vs. Weapons of Mass Destruction- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb)
Match highlights.  The match features a clash of styles between the martial arts based offense of the BBSPN and the powerhouse smash, crush, and destroy style of A-Bomb and H-Bomb, the WMD controlled the action early on, slowing the match down and utilizing their raw power.

Then Tiny hot tagged in and started throwing A-Bomb and H-Bomb all over the ring. Daisy Cutter-Bomb tried to get involved and was thrown over the top rope to the floor. But once Tiny tired, Hank tagged back in and the WMD went to work.

A-Bomb finished the match with an Atomic PowerBomb to Hank. Tiny tried to make the save but H-Bomb intercepted him and, much to the crowd’s amazement, hit a Hydrogen PowerBomb on the big guy. April O’Neale then hit the ring and Daisy Cutter-Bomb took her out with a Daisy Cutter PowerBomb.

WMD advance.

(Fort Scott, KS House Show: The Dork Dynasty- Leonard and Sheldon Robertson w/Penny and Amy vs. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers- Rah and Halitosis w/’Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill)
Match highlights show the Kardoucheian Empire, who have HUGE heat with Rah and Halitosis because they were chosen to represent Missouri Valley Wrestling in 4CW’s Bad Company tag team tournament, coming out with their ever present film crew (filming their reality show ‘Krampin’ Up with the Kardoucheians) to interfere in the match. MVW CEO Jill Berg quickly put a stop to that.

Jill Berg: I don’t care what issue you have with Rah, Halitosis, and Dawn McGill. I made the decision I made based on what was best for business. If you lay a finger on any of them prior to 4CW’s Bad Company pay per view show on August 30th, I will fire all of you on the spot.

The Dork Dynasty used their immense scientific wrestling knowledge to keep Rah and Halitosis off balance. Sheldon had Halitosis in an old fashioned sleeper hold but referee Davey Keels was otherwise preoccupied (again) by ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill. McGill grabbed Keels and locked lips with him again. Sheldon because irate and walked over to Keels and demanded to be made the winner of the match.

Leonard: Um, what about me?

Halitosis recovered. Spun Sheldon around. And breathed on him. Sheldon dropped to the mat. Halitosis went top rope and hit an Imploding Senton Bomb. He then hot tagged Rah in. Rah hit the Solstice Slam (chokeslam) on Sheldon. Then Rah looked at the fans at ringside and signaled it time to sacrifice Sheldon to the Temple of the Sunshine God. He placed Ken between his legs and looks towards the heavens with arms stretched out soaking in the praise and worship of the fans and hit the Eye of Rah (Jacknife Powerbomb).

Penny tried to use her ample bosom to get Keels attention. But alas, too late. Keels made the three count and the Island of Misfit Wrestlers advance.

… … …

Jill Berg: So, the Island of Misfit Wrestlers faced Weapons of Mass Destruction last night in Wichita, Kansas for the MVW Tag Team title. Who is the champion. You’ll find out at the end of tonight’s show.

[And with that, Berg snaps her fingers and the procession moves on to the next task on her list of things to do.]

Blair Moise: The CEO of Missouri Valley Wrestling Jill Berg. Now, next…

[Men’s champion Ray McAvay steps into the frame accompanied by his Les Miserables West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy and sanitation engineer Bert the Janitor.]

Blair Moise: I have the new Missouri Valley Wrestling Men’s champion Ray McAvay with me now. Ray, congratulations on winning the title.

Ray McAvay: Thank you Blair. Good to see you back in action.

Blair Moise: A girl has to work, Ray. First questions, you and Charlie Blackwell seemingly don’t see eye to eye anymore. What happened there?

Ray McAvay: You’ll have to ask Charlie. He’s invented this narrative about the end of PCW that me and the other workers were upset with Dawn for shutting it down. That’s simply not true. I, of all people, knew the financial strain she was under trying to keep PCW afloat and completely understood when Dawn finally said she couldn’t do it anymore.

Blair Moise: Then why is Charlie doing that?

Ray McAvay: Pretty simple, Blair. He wants her business.   Most of you don’t know that Charlie works as a certified financial planner when he’s not wrestling. He’s trying to spin this in a way that puts him in the best possible light. Nothing more. It’s none of my business how Dawn chooses to handle her money going forward and if she chooses to work with her cousin, that’s completely up to her.

Blair Moise: Now to the title. You won gold up at High Octane Wrestling. Now, you’ve won gold here at MVW.

Ray McAvay: HOW was obviously a much bigger stage. We aren’t wrestling in front of as many people here at MVW. But it’s still a special feeling to be the standard bearer for a wrestling company. I will echo what Christa Carmondy said a few minutes ago and promise to be the best champion that I can be. And I will take on all comers…yes, I’m looking right at you Charlie. If you’re looking for me, I assure you, I’m not that hard to find.

Blair Moise: Thanks Ray. Back to you Thunderbolt.

Thunderbolt Smith: And let’s take it right to the ring…

[Cut to the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Already in the ring. He is a legacy wrestler.   Please welcome…MISTER WRESTLING THIRTY-FOUR!

[The masked wrestler, Mr. Wrestling XXXIV, raises his arms and the crowd politely applauds.]

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…from the financial district of Dallas, Texas…

[The crowd boos as Charlie Blackwell walks deliberately towards the ring.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Not used to seeing Charlie Blackwell getting booed like this.

Rick Hall: You get cheered. Then you get booed. It’s a cyclical thing Thunderbolt.

Kimber Marshall: …he is CHARLIE WRESTLING! CHARRRRRR-LIE…BLACK-WELLLLLLLLL!

[Blackwell stops. Spins. And shows off his robe with ‘Charlie Wrestling’ spelled out in back.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Charlie Blackwell versus Mr. Wrestling XXXIV.

========================

MATCH TWO:

Charlie Blackwell
STRENGTH-6 SPEED-6 INTELLIGENCE-8 CHARISMA-5 ENDURANCE-8 EXECUTION-9
vs.
Mr. Wrestling XXXIV
STRENGTH-6 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-5 CHARISMA-5 ENDURANCE-5 EXECUTION-6

========================

Rick Hall: Charlie Blackwell is an excellent technical wrestler and has worked hard to become the master of the Katahajime. Mr. Wrestling XXXIV has pedigree but I don’t think he has enough to stay with Charlie Wrestling.

Thunderbolt Smith: Thank you Rick. Davey Keels is the referee and he’s about to call for the bell.

*DING-DING*

[Blackwell and Mr. Wrestling XXXIV meet in the middle of the ring…collar and elbow lock up. Blackwell with a side headlock and he wrenches the neck. Blackwell whips Mr. Wrestling XXXIV into the ropes. Clothesline on the return sends the masked wrestler hard to the mat. Leg drop by Blackwell. He pulls Mr. Wrestling XXXIV up by the hair and rams his head into the corner turnbuckle. Blackwell steps back and then clotheslines Mr. Wrestling XXXIV again.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Blackwell is all over Mr. Wrestling XXXIV.

Rick Hall: A much more aggressive Charlie Blackwell-

Charlie Blackwell: CHARLIE WRESTLING!

Rick Hall: …Charlie Wrestling, on display here on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling.

[Body slam by Blackwell and a cover. Keels gets to two…Mr. Wrestling XXXIV kicks out. Blackwell to a knee…he flips Mr. Wrestling XXXIV over and applies an arm bar. He stands and drops a leg on the exposed arm.   Mr. Wrestling XXXIV tries to roll away but Blackwell pulls him back and drops another leg on the arm. Blackwell rolls him up for another two count. Mr. Wrestling XXXIV then pokes the eyes and gets a much needed respite.   Blackwell pursues him around the ring and traps his opponent in the corner. He delivers several knee strikes in quick succession that take the wind out of Mr. Wrestling XXXIV. Blackwell whips him across the ring to the opposite corner…he then sprints forward and launches himself…splashing Mr. Wrestling XXXIV against the turnbuckle. Blackwell then shouts out something to Ray McAvay and then locks in the Katahajime. Mr. Wrestling XXXIV quickly taps and that’s all.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Kimber Marshall: Your winner…CHARLIE WRESTLING…CHARRRRR-LIE BLACK-WELLLLLLLL!

[The crowd boos. Blackwell rips the microphone from Kimber.]

Charlie Blackwell: DID YOU SEE THAT RAY? DID YOU SEE THAT?

[One person who definitely sees that is ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. He strolls out to the ring accompanied by the official mouthpiece of the Sports Entertainment Corporation Phil Finebaum, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, Regina McGill, and P.M.C. Banks. More boos from the crowd.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Mr. McMann and the S-E-C to the ring and they may have some business to do with Charlie Wrestling.

[McMann et al climb into the ring and go over to Blackwell. The boos continue.]

Mr. McMann: Before I address Charlie Wrestling, I just want to say something to the fans. You’re welcome. You’re welcome to thank me for the fact that we are here right now. You’re welcome to thank me for the fact that Missouri Valley Wrestling is back. And you’re most welcome to thank me for the fact I am imparting my sports entertainment genius on MVW for your enjoyment. You are welcome.

[More boos.]

Mr. McMann: No, no…you’re welcome. You’re welcome.

[McMann turns to Blackwell.]

Mr. McMann: Now…Charlie. Look, I’m glad you saw the light about PCW and realized that it was a lost cause. William Daniels Bryan finally saw the light. Yamamoto Tanaka saw the light. All the top PCW talents saw the light and joined me in PWWF. Even ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Dawn McGill’s younger sister Regina have joined the SEC. You did the right thing by talking Dawn McGill into putting an end to PCW. And now, it’s time for you to do something truly impactful…by joining the Sports Entertainment Corporation.

[Finebaum steps forward to address Charlie.]

Phil Finebaum: Charlie, my faction is better than every other faction here in MVW. There is only one true force in Missouri Valley Wrestling. The S-E-C. Standing with me is one P.M.C. Banks. The MVW Tag Team division is not deep. You and Banks united together would run right through the tag team division. It’s time for you to do the right thing again and join the premier wrestling faction in Missouri Valley Wrestling.

[Blackwell rubs his chin and thinks.]

Charlie Blackwell: From a business standpoint, joining the SEC makes good sense. But I have a condition. I’ll tag team with Banks but I am primarily a singles wrestler. I can beat Ray McAvay and his traveling band of White Trash. Will the SEC help me reach that goal?

Phil Finebaum: Absolutely.

[Blackwell extends his hand to Finebaum and then to Mr. McMann.]

Charlie Blackwell: Then Charlie Wrestling is on board.

Thunderbolt Smith: This is a day I never thought I’d see. Charlie Blackwell, who fought and fought and fought against sports entertainment, finally joins up with Mr. McMann.

Rick Hall: What’s the old saying? Every man has his price? McMann finally found Blackwell’s price.

Thunderbolt Smith: Yes he has. Let’s take it to the back again and Blair Moise.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW

Blair Moise: Blair Moise backstage with Manager E.J. Flack.

[Flack joins the shot.]

Blair Moise: E.J., Missouri Valley Wrestling’s new start ushers in a new beginning for you.

E.J. Flack: Yes it does, Blair. Ladies and gentlemen. My name is E.J. Flack and I am not here to change traditions. I am not here to pursue an agenda. I am here in Missouri Valley Wrestling because it is a challenge.   And I eat challenges for breakfast. That’s why I’m here. Forget about ‘rowing the boat,’ sometimes in life, you have to face the big monster thingy. Sometimes in life, you have to take on something that’s bigger than you even if its huge tusks can shred you to bits in seconds…even if its jagged teeth can tear through you like a hot knife through warm butter. Sometimes when you’re climbing life’s mountain and come up against insurmountable odds, you have to…

Flack points to the Garthok insignia on his jacket.

E.J. Flack: …‘Narfle the Garthok!’

Blair Moise: And what exactly does that entail?

E.J. Flack: Narfle the Garthok?   Because a garthok eats an oar for a snack. He uses an oar as frickin’ toothpick. A garthok runs into a fight, not away. A garthok eats difficult conversations, and people, like fat people chew through a breakfast burrito at the local McDonald’s. I can promise you this, folks, I am here in Missouri Valley Wrestling to bring this message- the man I am managing will to find a way to out-care everyone else, out-give everybody else, and out-how everybody else. The man I am managing will somehow find a way to- NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

Blair Moise: And just who would that be?

[SNAFU walks into the frame.]

E.J. Flack: That’s right, Blair. SNAFU. A former PCW Television champion. Do you want to know what I love about SNAFU? He learned how to wrestle by watching old ECW tapes and DVD’s of SABU and copied down his style. SNAFU understands that when the going gets tough, sometimes you just have to ‘Narfle the Garthok!

[Blair turns to SNAFU.]

Blair Moise: Do you have anything to add?

[SNAFU shakes his head no.]

Blair Moise: Okay, then. E.J. Flack and his new wrestler, SNAFU.

[Flack leads SNAFU towards the ring.]

[Cut back to the broadcast table.]

Thunderbolt Smith: So E.J. Flack has found a new protégée to lead and it’s former PCW Television champion SNAFU. We are about to see SNAFU in action here. Let’s go to the ring and Kimber Marshall.

[Kimber Marshall begins her introductions.]

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match is a one fall, twenty minute time limit. Already in the ring, accompanied by the Millennial Girl…please welcome the Millennial Man!

[The crowd boos as the Millennial Man raises his arms.]

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by E.J. Flack. SNAAAA-FUUUUUUUUUUU!

[Flack appears followed by SNAFU.]

Thunderbolt Smith: Here comes SNAFU…but it looks like the Millennial Girl has something to get off her chest.

Millennial Girl: Shut up…SHUT UP! You people are pathetic. A bunch of male patriarchists. The Millennial Man is being denied his rightful shot at the Men’s title and it’s not fair. He’s entitled to that title shot and we’re just going to stand here until we get what we want-

[SNAFU jumps off the top rope and hits a Missile dropkick on the Millennial Man. He turns to the Millennial Girl and sends her through the ropes to the outside. Referee Ron Martin calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING*

========================

MATCH THREE:

SNAFU
STRENGTH-6 SPEED-7 INTELLIGENCE-7 CHARISMA-6 ENDURANCE-7 EXECUTION-7
vs.
The Millennial Man
STRENGTH-4 SPEED-5 INTELLIGENCE-5 CHARISMA-5 ENDURANCE-4 EXECUTION-5

========================

Thunderbolt Smith: Referee Ron Martin calls for the bell and we are off and running.

Rick Hall: SNAFU indeed has learned everything he knows about wrestling from watching ECW DVDs featuring Sabu. He is a prime contender for the MVW Television title.  That should be enough to get him past the Millennial Man. MM is still finding his way but he’s not going to get any shot at a title until he puts the work in.

[Millennial Man rolls back in and charges SNAFU- who’s getting instructions from Flack on the outside. He grabs SNAFU and lifts him up and back drops him. Millennial Man goes for the shock win. SNAFU kicks out at two. SNAFU gets back up to a seated position. MM lays in the kicks to his back and tries to keep the pressure on. Flack shouts instructions and then turns to the crowd who respond back to him…]

Crowd: NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

[Again, Millennial Man hooks the legs. Again, SNAFU kicks out at two. Millennial Girl shouts at the referee to count faster. Millennial Man goes to pull SNAFU up…SNAFU low bridges him. Then he takes MM’s legs out from under him. Flack slides a chair in. SNAFU takes the chair, places it below him, and sits down on Millennial Man’s face. SNAFU drags Millennial Man up to the top rope. He leaps, scissors around MM’s neck, and hurricanranas him off the top rope. SNAFU back to the top rope. He leaps, whirls and clocks Millennial Man with his leg.]

Rick Hall: He’s definitely going through the book of Sabu’s best moves. Springboard leg lariat, there.

Thunderbolt Smith: At least the Millennial Man showed up with a little offense. I said…little.

[SNAFU whips Millennial Man into the corner. The Millennial Girl storms into the ring and pushes SNAFU from behind. SNAFU shakes his head and whips MG into the corner as well. He sets the chair up and backs up to the opposite corner…takes off…and hits Air SNAFU on both. Flack pulls Millennial Girl out of the ring. SNAFU makes the cover. Martin down…one…two…NO!]

Thunderbolt Smith: Got to give him credit there. Didn’t think he kick out of that one.

[SNAFU grabs the chair…leaps in the air…and surfboards the chair on Millennial Man’s face. Cover…one…two…THREE!   Martin calls for the bell.]

*DING-DING-DING*

Kimber Marshall: Your winner- SNAFU!

Thunderbolt Smith: The Millennial Man tried to put up a fight. But it was too much-

Rick Hall: We’ve got activity!

[The activity is ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler and the 330 pound Southern brawler ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson rolling into the ring and attacking SNAFU. Butler tosses Flack out of the ring. Dickinson starts throwing heavy right hands and sends SNAFU to the mat.]

Thunderbolt Smith: SNAFU was a prime contender to become the first MVW Television champion. ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler and ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson are giving everyone a reminder that they, too, want a piece of that title.

[Finally…THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[The door to Jill Berg’s office opens a few seconds later. Sixteen large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes.]

[The procession reaches the stage and stops. Berg has a microphone. She soon gets Butler and Dickinson’s attention.]

Jill Berg: All right, guys. I suppose I need to address the MVW Television title situation.

[Butler and Dickinson watch. Flack watches from the outside of the ring.]

Jill Berg: I know you two want a shot at it. I know SNAFU wants a chance at the belt. So here’s what we’re going to do. Next week on MVW Sunday Night Wrestling…our main event will be a three way dance for the Television title. ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler versus ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson versus SNAFU.

Thunderbolt Smith: Next Sunday. A three way dance for the MVW Television Title.

Rick Hall: Well, you can’t say that Jill isn’t being decisive here. She’s trying to nip this one before it blows up into a real problem.

Thunderbolt Smith: All right folks, Missouri Valley Wrestling hits the road again this week. On August 30th, MVW will be in Memphis…no, not THAT Memphis…Memphis, Missouri, for a Wednesday night show at the Scotland County High School Gymnasium. MVW Men’s Champion Ray McAvay, Women’s Champion Christa Carmondy, The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja, and many of the top MVW stars will be on hand. Seven thirty bell time.

Rick Hall: Then on Friday September 1st, MVW returns to the MST Gym in Rolla, Missouri for a big show. Charlie Blackwell, PMC Banks, Weapons of Mass Destruction and Regina McGill are scheduled to be on hand for a fun night of wrestling.

Thunderbolt Smith: And on Saturday September 2nd, MVW has a big show at the JHQ Arena in Springfield, Missouri. Rah and Halitosis with ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill will make their first appearance back in MVW after their participation in this Wednesday night’s 4CW Bad Company pay per view show. Also scheduled on the card, Ray McAvay, Christa Carmondy, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, and Charlie Blackwell.   Here are some other upcoming MVW shows as we head towards MVWA 77 at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois on Saturday September 30th

August 30th – Memphis, MO
September 1st – Rolla, MO
September 2nd – Springfield, MO
September 3rd – Poplar Bluff, MO
September 8th – Sioux City, IA
September 9th – Des Moines, IA
September 10th – Lincoln, NE
September 13th – Effingham, NE
September 15th – Fort Wayne, IN
September 16th – Valparaiso, IN
September 17th – Kokomo, IN
September 22nd – Mt. Vernon, IL
September 23rd – Evansville, IN
September 24th – Richmond, IN
September 27th – Mason City, IA
September 30th – MVWA 77
-Allstate Arena / Chicago, IL

(Taped In-Ring Segment in Wichita, KS)
[Blair Moise stands in the ring at the Charles Koch Arena. There’s about 4,500 people in the stands- the arena seats just over 10,000.]

Blair Moise: Blair Moise in Wichita, Kansas, just moments away from the MVW Tag Team title match between the Island of Misfit Wrestlers and Weapons of Mass Destruction. Following tonight’s match, Rah, Halitosis, and ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill will be transported to Wichita’s Dwight D. Eisenhower National Airport and board a plane to begin the trip to Tokyo, Japan to get ready for this Wednesday night’s 4CW Bad Company pay per view show. Rah and Halitosis face Cosmo Cooper and Max Cavanaugh in the first round. If they win, they will take on the winner of From Detroit to New Jersey and Purple Haze. All three had comments about their upcoming appearance at the 4CW pay per view show.

(Courtesy of 4CW)
[Halitosis leans up against a desk.]

Halitosis: …We are who we are.  That’s right.  We are who we are.  We are small time.  Cosmo talks about winning a million dollars.  Missouri Valley Wrestling’s talent budget doesn’t even come near one million dollars.  We are the underdogs.  We are the minnows.  We’re mutts.  We don’t have half the talent of three quarters of the teams in the Bad Company tag team tournament.  Hell, Dawn…we have no business being here.  No one thought we had a chance in hell to defeate Killswitch and Vila at Adrenaline 71.  No one!  And look what happened.  Killswitch and Vila took us lightly.  Killswitch and Vila thought they’d show up…climb through the ropes…and get the win without working up a sweat.  Killswitch and Vila thought they had an automatic win…an automatic bye…to Bad Company and the final sixteen.  And WE…PROVED…THEM…WRONG…now, we move on to Bad Company.  We are in the same position.  No one thinks we have a sliver of a chance against Cooper and Max.  We are the longshots of longshots.  But you know what I think?

[Halitosis goes over and opens up a refrigerator.  He pulls out a bunch of food- the world’s most stenchiest cheeses, onions, garlic, jalapenos, green peppers, banana peppers, and curry powder- and crams it all into an industrial sized blender.]

Halitosis: Just like the food that’s been thrown into this mixer, Rah and Halitosis are going to be in the same ring with Cooper and Cavanaugh.  And once the mixer starts, you have no idea just how it’s going to turn out.  All I can tell you is this…anything can happen in a one match scenario.  We might lose to Cooper and Cavanaugh nine times out of ten.  But all it takes is one time.  One chance.  One opportunity.  And if Cooper and Cavanaugh aren’t careful…one mistake to turn a match in our favor.

… … …

[Dawn McGill is talking to Halitosis who’s laughing uproariously and rolling on the floor.]

Dawn McGill: …you and Rah are going to hit that ring going about two hundred miles an hour.  You two will step into that ring at Bad Company while Cosmo is bitching and moaning about us making every single easy joke to make in wrestling, and both of you will wrestle circles around him.  He wants ‘serious.’  Oh yeah.  We’ll give him serious.  We’re not going to Tokyo to wrestle for money.  We’re not going to Tokyo to wrestle for fame.  We’re going to Tokyo to wrestle for all the small time, independent wrestling companies out there and all the independent wrestlers out there who would kill for just a chance to be in this tournament.

… … …

[Rah stands out in a field in rural Southern Illinois speaking before six people.]

Rah: …and at 4CW’s Bad Company, Rah will harness the energy of the sun and funnel it into Rah’s very being. And when Rah steps into the ring to face Cosmo Cooper and…whoever his partner is…in the first round, Rah will focus all of that awesome power and incredible strength into leaving Cooper and whats-his-face lying in the carbonized ashes of their ignominious defeat when Halitosis and Rah leave the ring.

… …

Rah: …Dawn McGill texted me some Bryan Laughlin comments about revolving around a ‘sun.’ Laughlin says that the wrestlers in this tournament can be stars or planets but none can be the ‘sun’- clearly meaning Laughlin and his partner. Laughlin is correct to say that no one, I repeat, no one, can touch the sun. Except he most certainly is not the embodiment of the life giving, fiery orb that rises up from the East and sets in the West- Rah is. Bryan Laughlin is not the personification of the celestial star that rains down its rays upon the good earth and bathes it in its warmth each and every day- Rah is. Laughlin is not the incarnation of the light that banishes the darkness every day- Rah is. There is only one Sunshine God who will be at Bad Company- Rah. In nine days, it’ll be Rah who rises like the dawn of a new day and burns through any tag team that dares to try and eclipse him.

[Cut back to the broadcast table.]

Thunderbolt Smith: So, as of this broadcast, Rah, Halitosis, and Dawn McGill are getting settled in Tokyo. But last night in Wichita, the Island of Misfit Wrestlers challenged for the MVW Tag Team belts. Let’s go back to last night and see how it all turned out.

========================

MAIN EVENT / MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – Taped last night in Wichita, KS:

The Island of Misfit Wrestlers- Rah and Halitosis with ‘Sinfully Delicious’ Dawn McGill
vs.
Weapons of Mass Destruction- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb with Daisy Cutter-Bomb

========================

Match highlights. The WMD come out on fire to start. A-Bomb and H-Bomb isolate Rah early on. They keep him trapped in their corner and alternate throwing right hands that rock the Sunshine God repeatedly early on. Even Daisy Cutter-Bomb gets a couple shots in while A-Bomb and H-Bomb occupy referee Davey Keels.

In the middle of the match, it’s still all WMD. Rah finally gets away from the corner and tags in Halitosis. But he gets steamrolled by the much bigger A-Bomb and then Hydrogen Power Bombed by H-Bomb. A-Bomb goes to cover but Dawn McGill desperately latches on to A-Bomb’s leg and prevents him from doing so. This causes Daisy to whip around the ring like a cruise missile looking for a target and she tackles McGill on the floor. Things get a little chaotic. Halitosis unleashes his lethal breath on H-Bomb and the big man drops to the mat. A-Bomb goes over and hits the Atomic Power Bomb on Halitosis. He goes for the pin but Rah makes the last ditch save.

Then at the end, A-Bomb is lobbing right hand bombs to Rah and the Sunshine God looks about done. A-Bomb lifts him up for an Atomic Power Bomb but McGill slides in and low blows him from behind. H-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb immediately attack McGill who gets mowed over by H-Bomb and then Daisy Cutter Power Bombed for good measure. Referee Keels tries to restore order but in the chaos, Halitosis sneaks in and hits A-Bomb with the full force of his putridly, noxious breath. A-Bomb drops to his knees and grabs his neck. Halitosis hits a spinning kick that takes A-Bomb down. Rah crawls over to make the cover. Keels sees it. One. Two. Three.

The crowd pops. WMD are pissed. H-Bomb grabs Halitosis by the scruff of his neck…

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.]

[The door to Jill Berg’s office opens a few seconds later. Sixteen large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire and her male assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes.]

[Berg reaches the stage.]

Jill Berg: Oh no you don’t. No one lays a hand on Rah or Halitosis until they return from Japan.

[A-Bomb and H-Bomb are furious. But they do not attack.]

Jill Berg: Davey, hand the Island of Misfit Wrestlers their title belt. And let’s all wish them the best of luck representing Missouri Valley Wrestling this Wednesday night at 4CW’s Bad Company pay per view.

[Cut back live to the broadcast table.]

Thunderbolt Smith: So there you have it. Rah and Halitosis are your new MVW Tag Team champions.

Rick Hall: Once again, credit should go to Dawn McGill for once again identifying a couple diamonds in the rough and finding a way to polish them into good wrestlers. She’ll have a tall order in Tokyo but if anyone can engineer an upset win, it’s McGill.

Thunderbolt Smith: Next Sunday night, we will find out just who will become the MVW Television champion. Thanks for joining us. We’ll see you next week.

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About Art Nouveaux

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