Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents: Missouri Valley Wrestling Madness 2016


Missouri Valley Wrestling Madness 2016
Chaifetz Arena
St. Louis, MO
Saturday April 2nd, 2016
Announcer: Johnny Suave

SHOW OPEN: Montage

[Lani Harlot bends both of Amy Mason legs up and tucks her ankles against her armpits and sits down. She then reaches over and grabs Amy’s chin and pulls back…aka The White Trash Compactor.

Carrieanne McDermott grabs Terry Sargent by the head and head butts her in the nose.

Ninja Kitty hits a 450 splash off the top turnbuckle.

‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan hits the Canadian Destroyer on Chondra Wells and flips Chondra over landing in a seated position and driving Wells’s head down to the mat between her thighs.

Former host of ‘Shot at Scoring with a Skanky Video Channel Reality Star’ Mia Margarita is tied up in the tree of woe. Regina McGill goes to the opposite corner…takes off running and hits a flying drop kick. Mia’s feet come off the corner and she slides to the mat.

Harley Davisson has Wendi Bayless of the SEC in a front facelock. Carrieanne McDermott has Brandi Bayless in the Indian Deathlock. Kari Ferguson runs down to the ring with a make up kit and throws powder in McDermott’s eyes, blinding her.

Jill Berg Enterprises (Angels of Death, Mia Margarita, and Hallie Burton) file their way to the ring. ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris, seeing the JBE reinforcements, goes to the top turnbuckle and bowls into all four of them with a wild suicide dive.

‘Queen Cool Leah Iris slowly gets up. Jill Berg snaps off a spinning heel kick…bingo! Leah falls forward to her knees. Jill launches herself forward and buries her shoulder into Leah’s stomach. The crowd rises. Jill pulls Leah up and sets her up over her shoulder…and slams her to the mat.

Penny backs into Kathryn Randall Collins. KRC takes her to the mat and holds her legs high against Penny’s upper back. She then slips one foot in front of Penny’s head under her chin, locks hands behind her head, and chokes her out.

Penny props herself up with the ropes in the corner. Christa races across and goes for a splash. Penny slides right at the last possible second. Christa collides with the turnbuckle and bounces back, standing woozily straight up. Penny slams her back into the turnbuckle and…kisses her?

The crowd stands and roars.

She’s not just kissing her, drops of green escape from both sides of Penny and Christa’s locked lips before the GWO member finally steps back. Christa’s face is covered in green liquid and she coughs out some green stuff as well.]


Suave and Shania

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out Shania

[CLOSE UP camera shot of the cheering crowd. Some of them hold up signs supporting their favorite wrestler. Some of them have signs cheering on their favorite factions.  Eighty percent of the arena’s 10,600 seats are filled.]

Suave (v/o): Welcome to MVW’s first pay per view show since our return- MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING MADNESS!

[CLOSE UP-Johnny Suave at the broadcast desk.]

Suave: On a night where Dawn McGill officially takes over the reins of Missouri Valley Wrestling as the Executive Director, we are live from a rocking Chaifetz Arena tonight in front of over eight thousand people from the hometown of MVW- downtown St. Louis, Missouri. I am Johnny Suave…this is my color person, a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain and tonight, our main event features the third match of a three match trilogy that started at MVWA 69 between MVW Champion ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and former champion Kathryn Randall Collins.

(Replay- MVWA 69 Main Event MVW Title Match: Kathryn Randall Collins © vs. ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan)
[Carrigan uses every ounce of strength she has to pull her arms forward and push up from the mat.]


[The Canadian Cyborg back kicks Collins in the groin and that releases the hold. But she’s exhausted and drops down to all fours. Collins slides in and wraps her right leg around Carrigan’s neck. She puts her arms around her neck and pulls Carrigan’s throat down across her left leg.]


[Carrigan desperately rocks back and forth.]


[Collins fights Carrigan’s attempt to escape. Carrigan tries to wriggle out.]

Suave (v/o): THIS COULD BE IT AND-

[The Artist known as Prisoner # 034291 runs in and smashes KRC in the back.]


[Keels calls for the bell immediately. Carrigan lays face down on the mat and Collins is wondering what truck just ran into her. As ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, Bo Stevens, Timothy Allen Tebow, and the Lingerie Girls hit the ring, Prisoner # 034291 mounts KRC and drops some heavy artillery on her.]


Suave (v/o): The crowd’s pissed and I don’t blame them. That was a great match until Mr. McMann’s creations decided to ruin it.

[Prisoner #034291 drags Collins up by the hair. She wraps both hands around her throat, lifts Collins into the air, and slams her to the mat.]

[Back live…]

Johnny Suave: At MVWA 70, Carrigan finally reached the pinnacle as she faced KRC again in the main event.

(Replay-MVWA 70 Main Event MVW Title Match: Kathryn Randall Collins © vs. ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan)
[Again, Carrigan places KRC’s head between her legs and grabs around her midsection. Carrigan pushes off the mat with her legs and flips her over landing in a seated position while driving Collins’s head to the mat.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): CANADIAN DESTROYER!

[Collins lays unconscious on the mat.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): THIS COULD BE IT! COVER.

[Carrigan rolls her up.]





[Carrigan throws herself on her back and covers her eyes.]


[Back live…]

Johnny Suave: Also on tonight’s card: Ninja Kitty will face newcomer Lt. Katrina Atcheson of the Kansas Highway Patrol in our opening match.

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin versus another newcomer Eva Perrin with John Perrin.

We’ll have a Heartland Title match between the champion, Major Svetlana Kovaleski, and Kari Ferguson with the Disco Loving, Jet Setting International Playboy from the East Sheik Yorbouti in her corner. Kovaleski has been extremely harsh on the younger MVW wrestlers- not deeming them up to her standards. Ferguson stepped up and pushed back against the Russian Major with the support of Sheik Yorbouti.

‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris defends her MVW Television Title against Scotland’s own Carrieanne McDermott. McDermott has been pushing for this all month long and tonight we’ll see if she can finally regain the TV title…Carrieanne held the title back in 2012.

Then we’ll have the third match of a series between the Green World Order’s Poison Penny and Christa Carmondy of Main Street USA. There has not been a clean finish yet in their matches. Christa Carmondy won at MVWA 69 when Penny objected to the Bra and Panties match stipulation ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann added to their match and walked out giving Carmondy the count-out win. Then this happened last month at MVWA 70 during the rematch…

(Replay-MVWA 70 Christa Carmondy vs. Poison Penny)
[Now Penny pulls Christa up and sets her up for a Fisherman’s Suplex. Christa blocks and lands a couple right hands. She takes Penny down and rolls her up]



[Christa kicks her legs back and uses the ropes for extra leverage.]


[Martin calls for the bell.]


[Code Pink, Emily S. List, and Soccer Mom invade the ring and attack Christa. Penny can’t believe the referee’s decision.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): And here we go! The GWO are pissed…and to be fair, they have a reason to be…as Christa went old school Christa Carmondy to get the win here tonight.


[Tessa Martin, Regina McGill, C.J. Lewis, and Kirsten Canfield all attack the GWO.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Christa Carmondy gets the win here tonight and the Green World Order are furious. Let’s listen to Kimber Marshall as she announces the winner.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner…as a result of a disqualification for using the ropes to leverage the pin…

Johnny Suave (v/o): WHAT? HOLY CRAP!

[Both Main Street USA and the GWO cease their attacks and stare at the referee. Christa’s eyes open wide.]


[Penny’s jaw drops. Then she’s mobbed by her Green World Order teammates.]


[Suave can’t believe it- Christa can’t believe it either. She sits on the mat and shakes her head.]

[Back live…]

Johnny Suave: So tonight, can we have a definitive, clean finish between these two? We’re going to find out.

And then last but not least, the MVW Tag Team Champions Brandi and Wendi Bayless from the SEC put former four time tag team champions Angels of Death, Angel Scott and Angel Casey, through a four week series of grueling gauntlet matches to earn a shot at becoming FIVE time MVW Tag Team Champions. The AoD did and tonight they have a chance to make history. The Bayless Twins look to extend their title run with a win here tonight. Also note, Dawn McGill made the stipulation last week in Tulsa, Oklahoma that the SEC were not allowed to be at ringside unless they were directly involved in the match. How will this shake out tonight?

Johnny Suave: We’ll find out but first, it looks like the Executive Director of Missouri Valley Wrestling Dawn McGill is going to come out and address the fans.

[The crowd gives McGill a roaring ovation and she walks out to the stage.]


MVW Executive Director Dawn McGill

[McGill waves.]

Dawn McGill: Thank you…thank you.

[She waits for the crowd to settle down.]


[The crowd let’s loose a loud cheer again.]

Dawn McGill: I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited to be at a wrestling show as I am tonight. Four title matches. A hot grudge match. What more can you ask for?

[Dawn walks around the ring.]

Dawn McGill: I have to admit that I’m…yes…a little hungover tonight. Last night, we all got together after the house show in Rolla, Missouri…and I mean Mr. McMann…the GWO…everyone. We talked out our differences, we kind of even partied, and we had a great time.  I think everyone is on the same page about taking Missouri Valley Wrestling to the next level. I thought it was an extremely positive way to kick off the weekend leading up to what I believe will be a great show tonight.

[McGill pauses as the crowd applauds.]

Dawn McGill: So sit back and relax. And let’s get to it.



Monday Night Mayhem Card- Monday April 4th
Xander Hayes vs. Electra

John Ojeda/Gary Altus vs. Bobby Dean/Julliet Brooks

HANDICAP MATCH: The Best Alliance (John Sektor/HOW World Champion Brian Hollywood) vs. Jace Parker Davidson

MAIN EVENT: Darin Zion vs. Scott Stevens vs. David Black – winner faces Reggie Rivid to become the #1 Contender for the World Title


[Back live…]

Johnny Suave: As Dawn alluded to earlier, there has been a lot of tension between the Executive Director of MVW Dawn McGill and the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann over the direction of Missouri Valley Wrestling the past few weeks. But after MVW’s house show in Rolla, Missouri last night, both McMann and McGill put their differences aside at an impromptu get together at a Rolla hotel.

[Various photos of MVW staff attending the party then appear. Wrestlers. Backstage crew. They’re all at the bar. Johnny Suave is there. There’s even a couple photos of Dawn McGill sitting at the bar with a drink in hand with Mr. McMann and the MVW Supporter’s Trust’s Fan Representative to the board- Terry from Ada, Oklahoma clearly having a good time. There’s a couple more photos of McGill holding a shot glass with McMann and Terry also in the picture and the obligatory picture of Johnny Suave at the bar.]

Johnny Suave: That’s right. I was even there too. We definitely had a great time last night and we’re up and raring to go tonight. Let’s take it to the ring and Kimber Marshall for our first match of the night.


MATCH ONE- Ninja Kitty vs. Lt. Katrina Atcheson of the Kansas Highway Patrol

Ninja Kitty
AGE: 23 / HT: 5′ 2″ WT: 95 / HOME: Rio Rancho, NM / FIN: The Pounce

Lt. Katrina Atcheson
AGE: 29 / HT: 5’10 WT: 140 / HOME: Salina, KS / FIN: C4


Kimber Marshall

Kimber Marshall

[Kimber Marshall is in the ring and ready to go.]

Kimber Marshall: Welcome to MISSOURI…VALLEY…WRESTLING…MADNESS! Tonight’s first match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first…

Kimber Marshall: …from the hills of Rio Rancho, New Mexico. Weighing at ninety five, lightning quick pounds. Please welcome MVW’s fan favorite…NEEEEEEN-JAH KITTY!

[The crowd lets out a roar as the black masked Ninja Kitty strolls out on stage. Ninja Kitty raises her arms and runs down to the ring. She launches herself under the bottom rope and rolls, pushing back up to a standing position. Then she does a series of martial arts exercises in the ring to warm up.]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…

[Lt. Katrina Atcheson, resplendent in her Kansas Highway Patrol uniform- complete with dark sunglasses and hat, walks out on stage.]

Kimber Marshall: She is a member of the Kansas Highway Patrol. Weighing in tonight at one hundred and forty pounds…from Salina, Kansas…Lieutenant Katrina Atcheson!

[Atcheson holds up both arms. Then she strides down to the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Davey Keels is your referee.

Johnny Suave (v/o): It’ll be the ultra-fast skills that Ninja Kitty possesses against the grit, determination, and discipline from Lt. Katrina Atcheson.

Atcheson tried to take control of the match early on by keeping Ninja Kitty grounded. However, she failed miserably as Ninja Kitty used her agility to escape and then unloaded chops on the Kansas State Highway patrolwoman. Atcheson managed to trip up Ninja Kitty and get her to the mat. Once there, she relied on slow strikes and chinlocks to try and wear her opponent down. Ninja Kitty got to her feet and hit a leaping Thrust Kick and connected with Atcheson in the face. They did some back and forth, Atcheson stalked Ninja Kitty all over the ring but couldn’t catch up with her or cut the ring off.

But the momentum swung at the four minute mark when Ninja Kitty whiffed on a missile dropkick and Atcheson hit a Michinoku driver on her for a near fall. Ninja Kitty started to connect with kicks, but a proper head butt to the throat cut that off. At the end, Ninja Kitty hit a Dragonrana that Atcheson somehow turned into a crucifix. Ninja Kitty managed to get her foot on the ropes for the break. Then she finished Atcheson off with the Pounce and pinned her for the victory.

WINNER: Ninja Kitty @ 6:33

[Cut back to Suave live at the broadcast desk.]

Johnny Suave: Ninja Kitty gets the win here on Missouri Valley Wrestling Madness and gets a nice round of applause from the fans on hand.

[The camera pans around to finds a couple pro-Ninja Kitty signs in the crowd. Then back to Ninja Kitty in the ring who waves back to her fans and then exits the ring.]

Johnny Suave: One down. Six to go. We’ll be right back.



Adrenaline 42 Card- Wednesday April 6th
Jace Savage VS. Jason Cashe

Parker Van Peters VS. Seamus O’Connor

Richard Dweck VS. Jett Wilder

LADIES OVER THE TOP ROPE ELIMINATION RUMBLE: Christy Chaos VS. Alexis Terry VS. Lyza Reyes VS. Kat Jones VS. Rorie Steele

Luke Jones VS. Brian Hollywood

EXTREME RULES: XTV Champion Bryan Laughlin vs. Nirvana- non-title

The Unstable (CJ O’Donnell/Chris Madison) VS. Erron Wilder & Cyrus Riddle



[Cut to backstage…]

[Inside the Angels of Death’s locker room. Angel Casey backed by the much taller Angel Scott cuts a promo on the MVW Tag Team champions.]

Angel Casey: History is here to be made tonight. Angels of Death. The most preeminent tag team that Missouri Valley Wrestling has ever produced. Tonight, we go for a fifth tag team title when we face the scrubs known as The Bayless Twins for the belts tonight.

Angel Scott: Scrubs.

Angel Casey: For four weeks, the Bayless Twins put us through hell. Four gauntlet matches in four weeks. Three different teams in each gauntlet match. Twelve different opportunity to lose and not even get to the tag team title match. The final match against the actual tag team champions. And what did we do?

Angel Scott: We won.

Angel Casey: Damn straight we won. But that’s what we do. Win. Four time tag team champions looking to make it five. And we’re going to do it the right way. We’re not going to have a crew of people at ringside to make sure we win the match. Nope. That hasn’t been the AoD way. Even when we were affiliated with Jill Berg Enterprises, we still did things OUR way. Not the corporate way. The AoD way. So McMann, tell your boys to stay out of our way and keep your ladies on a leash. Bayless Twins? Get ready. Gird yourself for war…cause it’s a-coming. The Angels of Death are coming for you.

Angel Scott: We’re coming for YOU!

Angel Casey: We’re coming for what’s ours- the MVW Tag Team titles.

[Cut to outside Dawn McGill’s office.]

[And speaking of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, he arrives smiling in front of Dawn McGill’s office with his hired guns: Bo Stevens from the great Stevens wrestling family and Timothy Allen Tebow- (HINT: …not THAT one.) …former SMU quarterback who’s trying overcome his name to find his own success…aka T-BO, MVW Tag Team Champions The Bayless Twins, Prisoner #034291, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): And there’s Mr. McMann with the tag team champions The Bayless Twins paying Dawn McGill a visit.

[McMann directs Stevens and Tebow to stand watch outside and NOT let anyone in- period. Then McMann goes into Dawn’s office with the rest. The door slams behind them and Stevens and Tebow take up their positions.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Odd. We’ll check back on this later. In the meantime, let’s send it back to Kimber Marshall for our second match of the night.


MATCH TWO- ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. Eva Perrin with John Perrin

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
AGE: 29 / HT: 5′ 8″ WT: 125 / HOME: Bowling Green, OH / FIN: Pizza Cutter STABLE: Main Street USA

Eva Perrin
AGE: 23 / HT: 5’10” WT: 111 / HOME: Argenta, IL / FIN:


[Cut to the ring.]

[Kimber Marshall raises the microphone to her mouth.]

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match is a one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first…

[On stage, a group of shirtless people aka descamisados pull a flatbed wagon out to the stage. On the wagon lying on a nice bed is Eva Perrin. She has rollers in her bright red hair and is wearing silk pajamas. Next to her is her husband, John Perrin. He wears a bright red robe that covers his silk pajamas. They trade off taking a puff from a cigarette as the flatbed wagon comes to a stop.]

Kimber Marshall: Hailing from Argenta, Illinois and currently on her Rainbow Tour of Missouri Valley Wrestling, weighing in at one hundred and eleven pounds…please welcome…EVA PERRIN!

[Eva jumps off the bed and raises her arms to the sky a la Evita. She walks to the ring with John Perrin following right behind her.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Wow. Well, Eva Perrin is a newcomer to Missouri Valley Wrestling. She featured in a couple matches last weekend where she faced and defeated her opponent tonight. Let’s go back to Kimber.

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…

[‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin walks out on the stage in a white t-shirt and shorts while holding her oversized pizza box of doom.]

Kimber Marshall: She is from Bowling Green, Ohio. Weighing in tonight at one hundred and twenty-five pounds. She is the EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL…TESSSSSS-SAAAA…MARTIN!

[Tess raises the pizza box in the air which causes the crowd, already cheering, to kick it up a couple more decibels. Then she makes her way down to the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Your referee for this match will be Ron Martin.

Johnny Suave (v/o): There was a little bit of controversy last week when these two met at the Tulsa, Oklahoma house show last week. It seems as if Mr. Perrin burned Tessa’s leg with a lit cigarette, distracting her enough where Eva slipped in and rolled her up. Tess asked Dawn McGill personally to put this match together for tonight right after the incident took place so here we are.

Tessa outwrestled Perrin early on. Eva got pissed and took a shortcut by poking the eyes and beating her down in the corner. Tess fought back. She hit a dropkick and sent Perrin tumbling to the floor. Tess went top rope and hit a dive. Eva’s husband came right over got a couple cheap shots in before Ron Martin started to count both women out. Tess scampered back to the ring. John assisted Eva back but Tess tripped up Eva on the apron and she landed roughly on the floor. Eva finally back in the ring. Tess took control and hit a couple flying forearms to send Perrin to the corner. Tess went for a big splash. John Perrin pulled his wife out of the way and the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl hit the corner turnbuckle hard.

Eva locked in a chinlock but Tess fought to her feet. She came off the ropes but ran into a powerslam. Now Perrin went to the corner and went high risk but she missed a top rope leg drop. She then missed a charge and posted herself in the corner. Tess hit a double set of knife edge chops followed by a dropkick. She hit a back body drop on Perrin and then had to fight off her husband before hitting a top rope suicide dive. Tess then went up top again and connected with a high crossbody for a near fall. John Perrin went to burn Tess with a lit cigarette again. Tess avoided him but ran right into a suplex by Eva for a near fall. As John tried to undo the turnbuckle in their corner, Eva placed Tess in an Arm Lock and stretched the hell out of her back. Referee Ron Martin started to count- Eva broke the hold.

Tess pulled herself up and charged Eva. Perrin ducked and then pushed Tess into the corner where she collided head first with the uncovered turnbuckle all but knocking her out. Perrin dragged her face first to the middle of the ring, crossed Tess’s feet, stepped in and pulled her arms back and body up in the air to lock in an inverted sharpshooter with a double chickenwing added- her variation of the White Trash Compactor. If Tess wasn’t out before, she was now and after checking on her referee Ron Martin finally called for the bell.

WINNER: Eva Perrin @ 12:41

[Martin tries to raise Eva’s arm in victory. She shoves him back and outstretches both arms into the air with her chin sticking straight up in the air and soaks in the adoration from her fans…all fourteen of them.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Eva Perrin with the win. However, I don’t think she’s high-flying adored quite yet. Nice victory though over the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl.

[Cut to backstage…]

[The MVW Tag Team Champions, The Bayless Twins Brandi and Wendi of the Sports Entertainment Consortium (SEC) stand just outside Dawn McGill’s office. Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow continue to stand sentry outside her door.]

Brandi Bayless: This is the part where we’re supposed to cut a promo on our opponents tonight- Angels of Death. However, I have bad news. Dreams don’t always come true. And Angels of Death is not going to win the tag title tonight. So for those of you in the audience tonight who came here expecting the AoD to win the tag title for the fifth, sorry. If you want a refund, you need to get to the box office.

Wendi Bayless: In case you’re wondering where our leader, our visionary, the true Sports Entertainment Genius Mr. McMann is, he is inside right now taking care of corporate responsibilities. My question for Angels of Death is this? Do you not remember the beatings you both received over the past four weeks? If you do but yet you still want to go through with this match, I say it shows you both lack intellect for risking your health on a title match. Why would you do that instead of taking care of your health? Retaliation? Revenge? I think you’re being very short sighted. Tonight, Brandi and I are walking into OUR arena, wrestling in OUR ring, and we’re going to beat YOU and keep OUR title.

[Cut to another part of the backstage…]

[Prisoner #034291 of the SEC lifts Kari Ferguson high in the air with two hands and drives her through a table. Off to the side, the Disco Loving, Jet Setting International Playboy from the East, Sheik Yorbouti is unconscious on the floor.]


[Ferguson lies in the ruins of the table and she’s out too. Blood trickles from the back of her head as MVW emergency personnel rush onto the shot to attend to both her and Sheik Yorbouti.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): The SEC just perpetrated a brazen assault on Kari Ferguson…who just happens to be a FORMER member of the SEC.   What does this mean for the upcoming match? And what will Dawn McGill have to say about-…what?

[Suave listens closely to a voice in his earpiece.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Okay. Paige McGillicutty is standing by and may be able to shine a little light about what’s going on.

[Cut to another part of the backstage…]

[MVW backstage reporter Paige McGillicutty stands near the locker room in the backstage area.]

Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty: Johnny, this is what I know. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is going to come out in a moment to address what just happened with MVW’s Executive Director Dawn McGill- Mr. McMann. What that means, no one quite knows.

[There’s a murmur off the Paige’s left.]

Paige McGillicutty: Hold on. Here they come.

‘The Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and Dawn McGill walk over to Paige and stop. Behind them are Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow.

Paige McGillicutty: Dawn?

Mr. McMann: Due to the unfortunate incident involving Kari Ferguson and Prisoner #034291 just a few minutes ago, Ferguson will not be able to participate in her match tonight. So, after a conversation with our Executive Director Dawn McGill to determine the appropriate course of action, it was decided that Prisoner #034291 will take Ferguson’s place in the match.

[An audible gasp can be heard from the crowd in the arena.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): WHAT?

[Paige does a double take and isn’t quite sure that she heard what she thought she just heard.]

Paige McGillicutty: I’m sorry. Did you just say that the person who took Kari Ferguson out is also going to be the one who takes her place in the match?

Mr. McMann: Yes. Dawn asked me what my recommendation was. Right?

Dawn has a blank, almost stricken, expression. She nods.

Mr. McMann: I told her that Prisoner #034291 was already warmed up and ready to go. So the decision was made. It’ll be Prisoner #034291 taking on Major Svetlana Kovaleski for the Heartland Title.

[Boos ring down from the crowd. Clearly they are smelling a rat in this whole sordid affair.]

Mr. McMann: It makes perfect sense in a sports entertainment context.

Johnny Suave (v/o): This is a crock of you know what! McMann’s had it in for Kari Ferguson ever since he rushed her career and nearly ruined it. Why is Dawn going along with this?

[McMann rushes off. Stevens and Tebow force Dawn to go with them leaving an incredulous McGillicutty with her jaw dropped.]

[Cut back to EMT’s attending to Kari Ferguson.]

[One of the EMT’s places a neck brace and back board down on the floor next to Kari.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): This stinks. This totally stinks. I can’t believe Dawn has let Mr. McMann substitute his wrestler…the one who deliberately injured Kari Ferguson…into this match. We’ll be back right after this.


Boardwalk Wrestling

Boardwalk Hype 115 Card- Sunday April 3rd
Shadow Dancer vs. Ryan James

Reginald Dampshaw III vs. Travis Nathaniel Andrews

Nate Lockhart vs. Archie Davis

Cameron Sanders vs. Jonny Cedrone

Allister Black vs. The Phoenix

MAIN EVENT: Bryan Williams vs. El Grande Malo

Boardwalk Live 116 Card- Tuesday April 5th
Kolic/Keegan Ryan vs. Cult of Daredevilz (Michael Maddox/Avery McCullen vs. Ryan McCollum/Zach Rizza

Myris vs. Terryl Flexxfield

Syxx Gibbler vs. Sativa Neveah

MAIN EVENT/ANARCHY TAG TEAM MATCH: The Untouchables (Keith Daniels/Shane Clemmens) vs. Mike Zybala/Claire Collins

Boardwalk Xtra 116 Card- Thursday April 7th
Brandon Young vs. Jan Van Der Roost vs. Noah Pierce

Noelle Shelley vs. Noah Hanson

Bryan Williams vs. Marisol Fuller

Aidan Carlisle vs. Synnum De La Cruz

MAIN EVENT: Brennan Devlin/Ramona Epps vs. The Rising Tide (John Pariah/JP Caliban)


[Back to Suave at the broadcast desk.]

Johnny Suave: All right, they’re still working on Kari Ferguson back stage. The good news is that it appeared that she was moving a bit now which is better than how it looked a couple minutes ago. I would love to hear an explanation from Dawn McGill about how this decision was made.   But in the meantime, let’s go to the ring and Kimber Marshall for our next match.


MATCH THREE/HEARTLAND TITLE MATCH- Major Svetlana Kovaleski © vs. Kari Ferguson…Prisoner #034291 of the Sports Entertainment Consortium

Major Svetlana Kovaleski
AGE: 32 / HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 155 / HOME: St. Petersburg, Russia/ FIN: Gory Special

Prisoner #034291 
AGE: 35 / HT: 6’3″ WT: 185 / HOME: Des Moines, IA  / FIN: Two-Handed Choke Slam STABLE: Sports Entertainment Consortium


[Cut to the ring…]

[Kimber is ready to roll.]

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match is a one fall, twenty minute time limit, and it is for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Heartland Title!

[Kimber rereads her card to make sure she’s reading it correct.]

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first. Hailing from St. Petersburg, Russia. She’s weighing in tonight at one hundred and fifty-five pounds. She is the MVW Heartland Champion…please welcome…SVET-LANA KOVALESKI!

[Kovaleski walks out slowly- as if she was caught by surprise. She has a beret on her head and wears pseudo-military style uniform out onto the stage.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Something tells me Svetlana wasn’t expecting to be announced first. She looks a little confused.

[But she is a professional and Kovaleski adjusts and makes her way to the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…from the Iowa Correctional system…

[Svetlana’s eyes open wide. She mouths ‘what?’]

Kimber Marshall: …accompanied by the Sports Entertainment Consortium and ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann…

Johnny Suave (v/o): Whoa-whoa-whoa. Dawn McGill told them last week the SEC were not to be at ringside tonight!

[Svetlana’s face says it all.   The expression of someone who knows she’s probably screwed.]

[Close up on McGill. Her eyes are red. Her expression is still blank. Stevens and Tebow almost appear to be wrangling her.]

Kimber Marshall: …weighing in tonight at one hundred eighty-five pounds… representing the Sports Entertainment Consortium…PRISONER #034291!

[The boos are deafening. Prisoner #034291 in her orange prison jumpsuit methodically walks to the ring and stares at Kovaleski with the same look a predator in the animal kingdom stares at dinner.]

Kimber Marshall: Ron Martin is your referee.

[Kimber slides out of the ring as Prisoner #034291 climbs in.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Ron Martin may have his hands full on this one.

MATCH SUMMARY Kovaleski attacked and landed a couple right hands. Prisoner #034291 fired back with two rights that staggered Kovaleski. Then she heaved the Russian over the top rope to the floor. The SEC then got involved. Plancha forearm by ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas. Ron Martin started the count on Kovaleski.   Daisy Cutter-Bomb hits a springboard forearm smash and then laid the boots to Kovaleski. DCB looked for a Daisy Cutter Powerbomb but the MVW Tag Team champions The Bayless Twins intervened and set Kovaleski up for the Total Makeover. Wendi went low; Brandi went high- and Kovaleski landed face first on the floor. She was rolled back into the ring for the obligatory pin except that Prisoner #03429 decided to add insult to injury with a two handed choke slam for the icing on the cake. She placed her boot on Kovaleski and that was that.


[Boos and debris rained down from the crowd as Martin handed Prisoner #034291 the Heartland Title belt.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Travesty. A total and complete travesty. Svetlana came to the ring expecting to meet Kari Ferguson and ended up getting destroyed by Prisoner #034291. And the crowd is letting Mr. McMann have it.

[Mr. McMann saunters into the ring followed by McGill, Stevens, and Tebow. He watches as Kovaleski is rolled out of the ring by the Bayless Twins and unceremoniously dumped on the floor.]

Mr. McMann: Well, isn’t this exciting?

[More debris rains down into the ring.]

Mr. McMann: See? If Svetlana would have wrestled Kari Ferguson, would there be this much hatred…vitriol…emotion like you’re exhibiting now? No! That’s why MVW needs to embrace my vision of sports entertainment.

Crowd: Dawn McGill! Dawn McGill!

[McMann hears the chant and a near evil grin forms. McGill takes a step back toward the ropes but Stevens and Tebow prevent her from going any further.]

Mr. McMann: Miss McGill is right here, don’t worry. Let’s just say that she’s finally seen the light and now she’s seeing things my way.   She now fully understands the benefits of listening to my vision for MVW.

[More boos.]

Mr. McMann: So, with Miss McGill now working hand in hand with me going forward, I would like to announce that there will be further adjustments made to tonight’s card to fix a few problems. First off, Daisy Cutter-Bomb of the SEC will replace Carrieanne McDermott as Television Champion ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris’s challenger in just a few moments.

Johnny Suave (v/o): WHAT!

[The camera pans to MVW Supporter’s Trust Fan’s representative Terry from Ada, OK. He and his friends are one of the few people in the building who are cheering Mr. McMann on.]

Mr. McMann: Don’t get me wrong. McDermott is a great technical wrestler but she doesn’t have the look that you want in a champion. And since we want our champions to be the face of our brand, Daisy Cutter-Bomb fits that billing much better. Next, using the same sports entertainment principles, we’re going to correct the MVW Title match and add ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas to the match and make it a three way dance. I get it that Kathryn Randall Collins has the rematch clause and she has lots of experience. But again, no one cares about experience or ring ability in women’s wrestling and Dallas is a much more attractive challenger than Collins is.

[A hailstorm of debris is coming down in the ring now. Maintenance crews rush out to clear the ring.]

Mr. McMann: What passion. Well done, people. See? I’m so good I know what you want long before you know what you want. We’re watching and experiencing the benefits of sports entertainment already and you don’t even know it.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Really? I thought he was deliberately inciting a riot.

Mr. McMann: Finally, last but not least, the SEC WILL BE, and I repeat, WILL BE ALLOWED at ringside with no restrictions. The MVW Tag Team Title match tonight will now have a no disqualification stipulation.

[Mr. McMann extends his arms wide.]

Mr. McMann: You’re welcome.

[Cut back to Suave at the broadcast desk…]

[The crowd continues to boo.]

Johnny Suave: To recap, Daisy Cutter-Bomb will face Leah Iris for the TV title next. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas is added to the MVW Title match. The SEC is allowed at ringside. And the Tag Team title match is a no disqualification. To say the very least, this has been a disturbing development and the question on everyone’s mind is- where is MVW Executive Director Dawn McGill and what is she thinking? We’ll be back in a moment.



Fight One Wrestling Unlimited Card- Wednesday March 30th
Vin Wesley vs Surayya Karim

Spider vs Lord Raab

Simon Raines vs Alexander Hayes vs The Heretic

MAIN EVENT/FIGHT ONE TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH: Sally Talfourd vs Damion Darkside

Fight One Wrestling Contraband 1 Card- Friday April 1st
OUTLAW TITLE MATCH: Lyza Reyes © vs. Camilla Martinez

Brother Zeke vs. The Dope Show

Nathan Gust vs. Surayya Karim

FURY CONTENDER’S MATCH: Kiba Bunson vs. Serai Daniela

MAIN EVENT/FURY TITLE MATCH: Sean O’Reilly © vs. Ana Archia vs. Keith Daniels


[Cut to backstage…]

[There’s a fracas right outside Dawn McGill’s office.]


[Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow attempt to restrain a very angry Carrieanne McDermott who’s trying to get past them and into McGill’s office.]

Carrieanne McDermott: LET ME GO!

[MVW Security arrives on scene but McDermott continues to fight on. They try to drag her away from the door.]

Carrieanne McDermott: I WANT ANSWERS McGILL!

[McDermott almost breaks free but one of the security force manages to bring her down before she can get to the door.]

Carrieanne McDermott: I WANT ANSWERS!

[Cut back to Suave at the broadcast table…]

Johnny Suave: I don’t blame Carrieanne one moment for being angry. This is…is…just bullshit. Complete bullshit. Carrieanne defeated Daisy Cutter-Bomb Sunday March 20th for a shot at Leah at Missouri Valley Wrestling Madness. Daisy had a chance to earn her chance and McDermott was just better. Now she’s been screwed out of it.

[Suave looks up as there is activity inside the ring.]

Johnny Suave: And I think we’re about ready for the Television Title match. Kimber Marshall…take it away.


MATCH FOUR/TELEVISION TITLE MATCH- ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris © vs. Carrieanne McDermott…Daisy Cutter-Bomb of the Sports Entertainment Consortium

“Queen Cool” Leah Iris
AGE: 23 / HT: 5′ 9″ WT: 125 / HOME: Pittsburgh, PA / FIN: Pittsburgh Rocker Dropper

Daisy Cutter-Bomb
AGE: 30 / HT: 5’9″ WT: 135 / Killeen, TX / FIN: Daisy Cutter Powerbomb STABLE: Sports Entertainment Consortium


[Cut to the ring…]

[Kimber Marshall acknowledges Suave.]

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall, twenty minute time limit. It is for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Title. First the challenger…

[Daisy Cutter-Bomb appears on the stage. She’s dressed in a skimpy camouflage outfit that accentuates her bust line and a camouflage Army helmet on her head.]

Kimber Marshall: …from Killeen, Texas, representing the Sports Entertainment Consortium. Weighing in at one hundred and thirty-five pounds…DAISY! CUTTER! BOMB!

[The crowd boos as DCB makes her way down to the ring.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): The SEC will get unpleasant receptions the rest of the night…just a guess.

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent.

[The crowd explodes as Leah Iris appears in the back holding her fist in the air. She has black horn-rimmed glasses just like Donnie Iris and wears an AC/DC t-shirt and shorts.  She bobs her head to the beat of the song.]

Kimber Marshall: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Weighing tonight at one hundred and twenty-five pounds.

[Leah starts down the aisle and slaps everyone’s hands on the way. In the ring, Daisy Cutter-Bomb and the rest of the SEC just watch.]

Kimber Marshall: She is the Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Champion! LEEEEEEEE-AHHH IIIIIIIII-RISSSSSS!

[Leah reaches the ring and warily keeps an eye on the SEC.]

Kimber Marshall: Davey Keels is your referee.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Television Champion ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris in the ring to a standing ovation here tonight. Can she overcome what will probably be a number’s game here tonight?

Lockup to start. DCB takes a side headlock and brings Leah down to a knee. Iris tries to fight her way out but Daisy uses her power to keep her down and ends up working the arm. Leah tries to gets behind DCB. Daisy fires an elbow to the back. DCB gets another headlock and forces Leah back on one knee. The TV champion tries to escape but Daisy forces her on her back and cinches the hold. Leah manages to sit up. Then she gets back to a standing position. She elbows Daisy and escapes. Then she hits a nice pele kick to Daisy and the challenger decides to take a breather on the outside. Leah impetuously hops over the ropes onto apron and Prisoner #034291 grabs her leg and pulls her down to the floor. Referee Davey Keels starts counting both women out.

Prisoner #034291 rains down rights and lefts on Iris. Now Keels counts on Prisoner #034291 and hits four before she finally relents. She picks Iris up and tosses her back into the ring. Daisy also back in. She charges Iris in the corner. Iris uses the ropes to hop over and uses the ropes a second time for a moonsault. She misses but lands on her feet. Iris rushes DCB and Daisy sidesteps and whips her into the corner turnbuckle. DCB takes a headlock on Iris and walks her to the middle of the ring. Daisy sets up for another move, but Leah somehow uncorks an enziguri. Iris covers…Daisy kicks out at two. DCB uses the ropes to stand. She throws a heavy right hand that Iris ducks. Daisy then hits a kick to the midsection and then a neckbreaker. She hits the ropes and nails Leah with a running forearm! Daisy covers…Iris kicks out at two.

Daisy waits for Iris to stand back up in the corner. She runs in with a hard splash that staggers iris out of the corner and then follows with a clothesline. Iris back up. She throws a wild right of her own. DCB goes behind and looks for a German suplex. Leah blocks and plants Daisy with a front faced slam. Leah covers 1…2..NO! Leah whips Daisy into the ropes and goes for a back body drop. Daisy floats over and tries for a German again. Leah elbows back and goes for a Pele kick but Daisy again sidesteps and nails the champion with a huge clothesline! Now Daisy lifts her up and swings her into a neckbreaker. DCB for the win…1..2…NO!!! Iris stumbles to the corner. Daisy is up. She goes for the cannonball, but Iris rolls out of the way. She gets Daisy on up into a Fireman’s Carry and then a Fireman’s Carry toss onto her knee. Leah covers 1..2..NO!!!

Iris rocks Daisy with a right hand in the corner. Daisy fights out, but Leah nails her with another stiff right hand and then sits her up top. She locks her head and then stands in Daisy face. Frankensteiner…NO! Daisy holds onto the top rope and Iris tumbles down to the mat! Daisy takes off from the top rope and hits the Five Star Frog Splash Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Daisy and Iris are both slow to stand. Daisy sets for the end.  She grabs Iris and sets her up for the Daisy Cutter Powerbomb. Iris blocks and drives a hard elbow to the midsection. Daisy stumbles forward and eats a forearm from Iris. Right by Daisy in return. Iris fires right back with a right hand. Back and forth…over and over until Daisy gains the advantage. Daisy hits a knee and misses a right hand. Iris throws forearm after forearm right back. Kick to the thigh by Iris. Daisy stumbles back and uncorks a Superkick out of nowhere that nails Iris flush.

Daisy covers but somehow, Leah has the presence of mind to latch on to the bottom rope. Keels calls for the break. Daisy steps back and then gets into Keels’ face. Behind them, again Prisoner #034291 gets involving- dragging Iris out on the ring apron. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas sneaks in and climbs up on the turnbuckle- jumping down and nearly decapitates Iris with the Guillotine Drop, literally flipping Iris off the apron to the floor. The Bayless Twins pick up a lifeless Iris and heave her right back into the ring. Daisy breaks off her conversation with Keels and drags the champion up. Iris is out…her legs are rubber. Daisy puts her head between her legs, lifts, and adds the exclamation point with Daisy Cutter Powerbomb. DCB sticks her boot on Iris’s chest. 1…2…3.


[The SEC swarm the ring and surround the victorious DCB.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): HOLY CRAP! What a match!

[Again, a very busy MVW medical team race down to the ring to check on Leah.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Daisy Cutter-Bomb is your NEW MVW Television Champion and right now, ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is having everything go his way tonight.

[Daisy high fives her SEC stable mates after Davey Keels hands her the MVW title belt.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): While Leah Iris is being attended to, let’s slip away for these commercial breaks. We’ll be back with more Arch Wrestling Madness right after this.



[SCENE: the back yard.

A man holds a garden hose in his right hand and is filling up his above ground pool with water. In his other hand, he holds his cell phone and looks down at it- seemingly confused and perplexed.]

Announcer: This is Tim. He thinks you have to be a mastermind to figure out how to do his own taxes.

[A large brown wooden fence encloses the yard. The right wooden gate opens up and Ray McAvay’s manager, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, enters Tim’s back yard. (GRAPHIC: “’No Frills’ Chris Escondido, professional wrestler manager)]

Announcer: So we flew in pro wrestling mastermind ‘No Frill’s’ Chris Escondido to help him.

[Escondido peers over Tim’s shoulder to look at his cell phone.]

Escondido: Dude. What does it say there?

[Close up of Tim’s phone. ‘Did you buy a home?’ Press here.]

Tim: It says…did you buy a home?

Escondido: Did you buy a home?

Tim: Ummm…

[Out of nowhere, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay runs in and whacks Tim in the back with a Singapore cane.]


Escondido: Then I’d press there.

Tim: There?



[Tim, in immense pain and anguish, presses the button. The display turns to a green check mark to indicate that he was successful and a message appears that reads: ‘Congrats, you get a big tax break…and a trip to the emergency room.]

Tim: Huh?



[Escondido nods down at Tim who’s fallen to his knees in excruciating pain.]

Escondido: Okay then.

[He then turns and walks away.]

Tim: Thanks.

[Graphic on screen: ‘It doesn’t take a f@#$ing genius to do your taxes.’ Tim looks down at his phone and winces in pain from the Singapore caneshots.]

Announcer: Intuit Turbo Extreme Tax. Taxes done to the extreme.





Messing with McGill
A package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a golf course fairway on a perfect summer afternoon.

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky presents- Messing with McGill.

[A heavy set man prepares to hit his approach shot to the green while his friend waits for him inside a golf cart.]

Heavy Set Man: Five feet from the hole, right here.

[He begins his backswing and sees a bunny hopping along and Dawn McGill running along the edge of the woods off the fairway. He stops his swing and turns to gawk at Dawn. The man in the golf cart gets out as well. He’s munching on a piece of beef jerky.

Dawn stops to rest for a second.

Both look at each other. The man hands the bag of beef jerky to the heavy set gentleman and goes back to the golf cart. He pulls a beer out of the cooler and then begins to vigorously shake it up.]

Dawn McGill: Okay. Newsflash. I can see what you’re doing.

[The man approaches Dawn slowly.]

Driver of Golf Cart: Hey big fella.

[Dawn glares back at him.]

Dawn McGill (annoyed): Big fella?

Driver of Golf Cart: Do you want a cold one?

Dawn McGill: Okay. Again, I know what you did to the can of beer.

Driver of Golf Cart: You know you want a cold one.

[She rolls her eyes.]

Dawn McGill: (she sighs) Fine.

[Dawn snatches the beer can out of his hand.]

Driver of Golf Cart: Okay…you can do it.

[She shoots him a ‘look.’ Dawn rolls her eyes and opens the can causing the beer to spray out all over her.

The two men bust out laughing and jump right back into their golf cart.

Her face and hair soaked with beer, Dawn whips out a taser and fires it at the driver just as he hits the accelerator.]


[The cart veers sharply into a tree and tips over.

Final scene: a package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky superimposed over the turned over golf cart and the convulsing driver still suffering the effects of being tased.]

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky. Feed your wild side.



Carl’s Jr. Commercial
Announcer Guy:
It’s a Carl’s Junior commercial and you know what that means.

[The spot starts as Dark and Stormy, valets for High Octane Wrestling’s Ray McAvay and wearing McAvay’s official ‘Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work.’ T-shirts (in white) and Daisy Duke Shorts, exit a Carl’s Junior restaurant.  The ladies walk in slow motion towards a pick-up truck hauling a trailer with a hot tub on it…each carrying a bag full of Carl’s Junior food.]

[They climb up onto the trailer and sit on the edge. Feet dangling from the trailer, Dark and Stormy each pull out a Carl’s Jr’s half pound Western Bacon Thickburger and begin to eat in a most sensuous stimulating way.]

[Cut to inside the store, a mother and her two teenage sons are dining. One of the son’s turns and stares at Dark and Stormy. Stormy, her brown hair ruffling in the artificially produced wind thanks to a huge off screen fan, sees the boy and waves.]

[Dark, her black hair also fluttering in the breeze, takes a huge bite from the sandwich and a massive glob of barbeque sauce that’s slathered onto the sandwich falls and stains her pearly white t-shirt. Of course, she’s horrified at the development. She slips off her pumps and climbs into the hot tub. While keeping the Thickburger high and dry, Dark then dunks herself into the water and rises back up. Her hair now wet…and the t-shirt too but thanks to strategic camera placing and shots, we don’t see any more of her than we really need to for mainstream television purposes.]

[The patrons in the restaurant?]

[Cut to the store. A crowd of people flood to the window.]

[Stormy takes a sizable bite of her Thickburger and, shocking, a major glob of barbeque sauce spills onto her white t-shirt. So she kicks off her shoes too and climbs in.]

[More people crowd up against the window.]

[Stormy drops into the water and comes back up. Again, strategic camera position protects America’s prying eyes from seeing more than they should.]

[The mother inside the store with the two teenage boys notices that they are missing. Where did they go?]

[The boys have their faces pressed up against the window and watch.]

[Back to the trailer, a strange man wearing a janitor’s uniform climbs up onto the trailer and hands Dark a supersized bottle of barbeque sauce. She slowly opens up the bottle and proceeds to pour it all over the burger, all over Stormy’s burger, and then all over herself. Being the helpful person she is, Stormy tries to clean up the massive mess her friend just made by licking the sauce off Dark’s shirt…and then her neck…and then her arms.]

[At that point, the crowd that used to be inside the store suddenly stream outside.]

Announcer Guy: Two for the price of one.

[Stormy pours some of the barbeque sauce on herself and Dark begins to lick it off her.]

Announcer Guy: Carl’s Junior’s Half Pound Western Thickburger

[Dark then begins to raise up Stormy’s shirt as the commercial ends.]


[Cut to backstage…]

[Paige McGillicutty has a concerned looking Regina McGill standing next to her.  Regina resembles her sister except she’s not as tall.]

Paige McGillicutty: Regina, do you know what’s going on with your sister?

Regina McGill: No.

Paige McGillicutty: And you tried to go back to her office to talk with her.

Regina McGill: Yes. McMann’s hired thugs Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow wouldn’t let me through. I told them I wanted to talk with my sister and they refused.

Paige McGillicutty: Did they give you any particular reason why?

[Regina extends her arms out.]

Regina McGill: All I got back ‘they were under orders’ from Bo Stevens.

Paige McGillicutty: Did Tebow say anything?

Regina McGill: Are you kidding? He was too busy Tebowing.

Paige McGillicutty: Gotcha.

[Regina shakes her head.]

Regina McGill: Something’s not right, Paige. That’s all I can tell you. Something’s not-

[Her cell phone buzzes. Regina looks down at it and her eyes tell the story.]

Regina McGill: I have to go.

[Regina leaves the shot.]

Paige McGillicutty: There you have it. Back to you Johnny.

[Cut back to Johnny Suave at the broadcast desk…]

Johnny Suave: It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Tonight started off with a lot of promise and now…no one knows what’s really going on.  All we know is this- ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and the SEC has essentially taken over the show…again.   We now have two new champions…both of whom weren’t booked at the beginning of the evening to wrestle. The SEC’s Prisoner #034291 destroyed Svetlana Kovaleski to win the Heartland Title and Daisy Cutter-Bomb ended ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris’ six month reign as MVW’s Television champion in a terrific match that Daisy really shouldn’t have been in. At the beginning of the night, the SEC was scheduled to be in one match. Now, the SEC has a chance of walking out of here tonight with all four titles.

[Suave sighs.]

Johnny Suave: Let’s go back to the ring for our next match.


MATCH FIVE/GRUDGE MATCH- Christa Carmondy with Main Street USA vs. Poison Penny with the Green World Order

Christa Carmondy AGE: 25 /HT: 5′ 9″ WT: 190 / HOME: St. Louis, MO /  FIN: Mean Girl Crush STABLE: Main Street USA

Poison Penny AGE: 23 / HT: 5-4 WT: 151 / HOME: West Plains, MO  / FIN: Poison Kiss STABLE: Green World Order


[Cut back to Kimber Marshall inside the ring…]

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is a one fall, thirty minute time limit. Introducing first…

Kimber Marshall: …from St. Louis, Missouri. She is a Missouri Valley Wrestling original…representing Main Street U-S-A…please welcome CHRISSSSSSS-TAH…CARMONDY!

[Christa pops out onto the stage with her arms raised in the air and her Main Street USA stable mates ‘C.J. Lewis, and Kirsten Canfield follow.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Christa Carmondy really wanted this third opportunity to wrestle Poison Penny. Can she take advantage and get the win she wants?

[Christa leads Main Street USA down to the ring.   She rolls into the ring and high-fives Lewis and Canfield.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): And she’s going to get that chance without Tessa Martin and Regina McGill in her corner. Tess is still backstage dinged up after her match with Eva Perrin. And Regina? I have no clue where she’s gone to…but I suspect she’s trying to track down her sister.

[Christa looks out at the stage as the music changes…]

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent, from West Plains, Missouri…representing the Green World Order-

Poison Penny’s voice: CUT THE MUSIC! JUST STOP!

[Poison Penny, Code Pink, Emily S. List, Soccer Mom and PeaceNic file on stage all dressed in their green GWO gear. Penny waits until the music comes to a halt.]

Poison Penny: I’m very upset right now. I asked…I pleaded…I begged for to be added to tonight’s MVW Title match. And I was told by the Executive Director of MVW Dawn McGill that Kathryn Randall Collins had exercised her rematch clause…and she didn’t care for three way matches for the top title.

[Penny looks down for a second.]

Poison Penny: Even though I never got my rematch after I lost the belt to KRC, I made peace with it and agreed to this match with Christa Carmondy. However, earlier tonight I found out that ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas had been added to the MVW title match, the match that I asked to be added to, the match I was told would be Carrigan versus KRC. Dawn, I remember how you made a big deal out of the Green World Order showing up to your training sessions. I remember how the GWO took so much flack about not putting in the extra work to improve. So here we are. These girls have done what you asked them to do. I’ve so worked hard to get back into a position where I can try to regain the title. And then THIS happens. So Dawn…I don’t know why you did this. I don’t know why you changed your mind and…and…and…

[She shakes her head disgustedly.]

Poison Penny: …you know what? Screw it. I’m not wrestling tonight. I’m outta here.  Let’s go.

[Penny throws down the microphone and walks off the stage. Code Pink, Emily S. List, Soccer Mom, and PeaceNic hesitate but then follow. The crowd applauds Penny and the GWO.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): The first time the GWO has engendered any type of symphathy and you know, I don’t blame Penny being upset one bit. And neither do the MVW faithful.

[Christa Carmondy just watches the whole spectacle unfold.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): I don’t even want to know what Christa thinks.   Actually, I do. It’s another fucking screwball finish.

[Referee Ron Martin climbs into the ring and calls for the bell.]


[Martin starts the count.]











[Martin calls for the bell.]

WINNER: Christa Carmondy at :10

Johnny Suave (v/o): Well? That’s three out of three bizarre endings. Christa will take the win but I’m sure this is not the way she wanted it.

[A disappointed Christa simply rolls out of the ring and heads to the back.]


The Pitt

The Pitt Show #12- Wednesday March 30th
Samantha Tolson vs. Roxy Blaze

Casey Cougar vs. ‘Nerd Rage’ Tammy Jay

Ash and Aleks vs. The New Blitzers

Ursula Von Rossbach vs. Michelle Taylor

Puma Rhyse vs. ‘Hawkeyed Pride’ Jessie Roberts

HARDCORE RULES: Cassidy Lee vs. Molly O’Hatherine

MAIN EVENT: Pitt Champion Valkyrie Lange confronts Erica Nobody


[Cut to backstage…]

[MVW Champion ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan’s manager Jill Berg wraps up a conversation with one of Carrigan’s opponents later on tonight- former champion Kathryn Randall Collins.   Collins gives Berg a respectful nod and then takes her leave to return to her dressing room.]

[Paige McGillicutty immediately walks right up to Jill.]

Paige McGillicutty: Jill, what were you talking with Kathryn Randall Collins about?

Jill Berg: I can’t really comment, Paige. I’m just getting Sheline ready for her first title defense.

Paige McGillicutty: But you were talking to KRC-

Jill Berg: Again Paige. I’m not in a position where I can comment on my conversation with Kathryn.

Paige McGillicutty: Okay. Do you have any comment on the addition of ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas to Sheline’s match?

[Jill actually takes a moment to mull this question. She rubs her chin with her hand and then responds.]

Jill Berg: No. I’ll let Sheline’s actions in the ring do the talking for us.

[Jill exits.]

Paige McGillicutty: Well all right. Back to you Johnny.

[Cut back to Johnny Suave at the broadcast desk.]

Johnny Suave: Thank you Paige. An interesting development for sure to our main event later on tonight. Last month, former four time tag team champions Angels of Death defeated the Tag Team champions the Bayless Twins the night before MVWA 70. Brandi and Wendi Bayless both left the ring about ten minutes into the match and were counted out. The Angels then demanded a title shot at Arch Wrestling Madness. The Bayless Twins in concert with the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, forced them wrestle four different gauntlet matches in four consecutive weeks before they would grant the Angels a shot at the belt. The AoD survived the four gauntlet matches and now stand in the threshold of regaining the tag belts for an unheard of fifth time.

[Cut to Kimber Marshall in the ring.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Kimber Marshall ready to introduce our big tag team title match.

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match is a one fall, sixty minute time limit, no disqualification match for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Titles!

[The crowd rises and cheers.]

Kimber Marshall: First, the challengers.

Kimber Marshall: Coming in at a combined weight of two hundred and eighty two pounds. From Morgantown, West Virginia…the Terminatrix ANNNNNNN-GEL SCOTT!

[Angel Scott walks out onto the stage.  She’s sporting a black leather jacket a la Arnold Schwarzenegger in ‘The Terminator’ movies and sunglasses over her wrestling attire.]

Kimber Marshall: And from Portales, New Mexico…she is Ms. Lethal Weapon…ANNNN-GEL CASEY!

[Scott is joined by Angel Casey.  Casey is dressed in more traditional wrestling gear.]

[The two fist bump and then take off down the ramp and slide into the ring.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Probably not a bad idea to get to the ring. Especially with everything that’s gone down tonight.

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents. Joined by the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius Mr. McMann…

[And the crowd turns on Mr. McMann right away. He just nods and soaks it all in.]

Kimber Marshall: …and the Sports Entertainment Consortium…

[‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, new Television Champion Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and new Heartland Champion Prisoner #034291 join McMann on stage.]

Kimber Marshall: From Century City, California, they are your Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions. Brandi and Wendi Bayless…they are the BAYLESS TWINS!

[Holding their title belts high in the air, Brandi and Wendi, wearing their usual skimpy pseudo lingerie/wrestling outfits, slowly walk out on stage.

In the ring, Scott and Casey cast a wary eye towards the SEC.]

Johnny Suave: Everyone there except for Stevens and Tebow…who I assume are still guarding Dawn McGill’s front door.

[The procession makes their way down.]

Kimber Marshall: Your referee will be Davey Keels.


MATCH SIX/TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- The Bayless Twins (Brandi and Wendi) © vs. Angels of Death (Angel Scott/Angel Casey)

Brandi Bayless
AGE: 27 / HT: 5′ 3″ WT: 105 / HOME: Century City, CA / FIN: Total Makeover Wendi Bayless
AGE: 27 / HT: 5′ 3″ WT: 110 / HOME: Century City, CA / FIN: Total Makeover

‘Terminatrix’ Angel Scott
AGE: 30 / HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 167 / HOME: Morgantown, WV / FIN: Angel Death Drop (ADD)
‘Ms. Lethal Weapon’ Angel Casey
AGE: 30 / HT: 5′ 6″ WT: 115 / HOME: Portales, New Mexico / FIN: Death Spiral Drop (ADD)


[Mr. McMann peels off and joins Suave at the broadcast table.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): Swell.

Mr. McMann (v/o): I know.  What a great crowd we have here tonight.

Johnny Suave (v/o): They’re booing you.

Mr. McMann (v/o): Exactly.  They’re doing exactly what I want them to do.  See…it’s in the script for tonight’s show right here.  I know what the crowd wants to do and I’m allowing them to do it.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Swell.

Mr. McMann (v/o): What are you complaining about Johnny? You are about to witness the greatest night ever in the history of Missouri Valley Wrestling. You are about to watch the SEC leave tonight with all four titles.

Johnny Suave (v/o): You cheated Carrieanne McDermott out of her match and you sicced your pet goon Prisoner #034291 on Kari Ferguson.

Mr. McMann (v/o): Wrestling is a results-oriented business Suave. McDermott is a good wrestler but no one cares about that.  Ferguson is a washout and will never be a sports entertainment star.  The ends justify the means. In the corporate world, a good outcome is all that matters.

Johnny Suave (v/o): What do you mean the ends justify the means?

Mr. McMann (v/o): Welcome to corporate America. Dawn McGill may have made small improvements in the overall structure of MVW, but you need someone with a bigger vision…someone with a grand plan…someone who can mold and tailor the product to bring in a larger share of wrestling fans who, despite what the smarks online say, don’t watch women’s wrestling for their ability.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Where is Dawn McGill?

Mr. McMann (v/o): Miss McGill is fine and in her office. She and I had a meeting of the minds and my view prevailed.

Johnny Suave (v/o): How?

Mr. McMann (v/o): Let’s just say that when I have the right information in my hands I can be very persuasive.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Right information?

Mr. McMann: It happens all the time in the back rooms of large corporations Johnny. Now, that Dawn has seen things my way, and it’s long overdue, now MVW can start aiming to become a big-

Johnny Suave (v/o): THE MATCH HAS BEGUN!!

The Bayless’s don’t even make it to the ring. Scott slides out and bowls right down the middle of the SEC parade. Casey jumps up to the top turnbuckle and swan dives into the muck. There’s confusion on the part of the SEC. Scott grabs a steel folding chair and comes out swinging at everyone in sight. She brains Prisoner #034291 and sends her reeling. She piefaces Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Casey hits a hurricanrana on Dallas…does the double noggin thing with Brandi and Wendi. Casey and Scott then hit a double dropkick on Brandi Bayless… a double superkick to Wendi. But Prisoner #034291 drops Casey with a double axe handle to the back. Scott trades right hands with the Prisoner but then Daisy Cutter-Bomb comes in from behind and low bridges the Terminatrix. She flings Scott into the steel barricade.

Oh, and somewhere along the way Keels called for the bell. Brandi hits a dropkick to Casey on the floor and went for the cover. Referee Keels tells her even with the no DQ rules she still has to pin her opponent in the ring. Prisoner #034291 looked to have things under control. Wendi went for a forearm smash, but Casey tripped her up and allowed Scott to return fire. Wendi came back, hit a flying forearm smash on Casey then took out Scott with a leg sweep. Brandi tried to cover Casey on the floor and again the referee told her falls counted in the ring only. Brandi then took out Casey again with the springboard forearm. Prisoner #034291 literally threw both Scott and Casey into the ring.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Well. Don’t you look obnoxiously smug right now?

Mr. McMann (v/o): I don’t understand Johnny.

Johnny Suave (v/o): You know damn well what I’m talking about. You changed the rules in the match so now it’s essentially a five on two battle. As good as the AoD are, even they can’t overcome those odds.

Mr. McMann (v/o): Johnny don’t be so naive. In every business enterprise, there are winners and losers. To win is to be prepared. I’ve merely prepared the battlefield to give my forces the best possible chance to be successful.

Johnny Suave (v/o): You’ve rigged this in your favor.

Mr. McMann (v/o): If you’re not trying to leverage every possible advantage that falls your way to increase your chances of success, you’re not trying hard enough. A no disqualification match puts us in the best position to win- and that’s all that matters.

The match then settled down. Wendi took control right away, working Casey with right hands. Casey fights back but then Brandi steps in and sends her to the floor. Again, the SEC descend upon Casey and work her over. Prisoner #034291 whips Casey into the ring post and then a cheap shot by Dallas follows. Daisy works over Casey with right hands and then whips her into the barricade. Scott finally comes over to offer some resistance. She lands a couple right hand bombs to Daisy and Wendi but her momentum doesn’t last long. Casey misses a desperation top rope splash, and Brandi connects on a Superkick.   Samoan Drop by Brandi, as Wendi played cheerleader, sends Casey to the floor. Then they worked up top, Brandi hit a missile drop kick from the apron that staggers Scott who stumbles right into a spinebuster from Daisy Cutter-Bomb.

Mr. McMann (v/o): Throw her back in the ring and end this!

Johnny Suave (v/o): I hate to agree with you but they’ve taken enough punishment. It can-

Johnny Suave (v/o): WAIT A MINUTE!

Mr. McMann (v/o): What the-

[The crowd shouts ‘we will…we will rock you…’ and out walks Kelly and Korey Korver- TWO time Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team champions, and Regina McGill.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): IT’S THE KORVER SISTERS!

Mr. McMann (v/o): I told Dawn to send them hom-…I mean…they weren’t booked for tonight.

Kelly, Korey, and McGill run down. Daisy tried to use grappling moves to take control over Kelly, which failed as she is a more technically proficient wrestler than she is. Regina worked Wendi over with punches and kicks. Korey backdropped Dallas to the floor. Kelly and Korey then double team Prisoner #034291. Kelly hit a basement dropkick to her knees and Korey came off the apron and hit a clothesline. Back in the ring, Scott seized some impetus mixing body slams and chinlocks to try and slow Brandi down. Scott hit a superplex on Brandi and made the cover. Keels reaches two before Dallas made the save. Casey sent Wendi to the floor and then followed with a suicide dive. Scott and Brandi traded strikes center ring. Brandi gained the advantage and dropped an elbow. She rolled Scott up, Scott kicked out and hit a side effect and spin kick for a near fall.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Kelly and Korey Korver have evened the odds and the AoD are back in the business. What do you think about that Mr. McMann.

Mr. McMann (v/o) (talking on the phone): Tim. McMann. I thought I made it clear to you that I wanted Dawn McGill’s cell phone taken away from her. Well? She must have used it because the fucking Korvers are here. Get her phone…what?  ARGH! Stay put.  I’ll right back there. Out.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Problem?

[The sound of Mr. McMann removing his headphones and leaving the table can be heard.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): I guess so.

Brandi and Wendi call time out and huddle with the SEC to rethink their strategy. Scott and Casey also catch a breather before Casey tags in to face Wendi Bayless. Casey finally has her chance to show off his incredibly impressive array of moves and hooks Wendi’s legs for another two count. Brandi hits the ring in a fury to break the count. Wendi finds her way in and disposes of Casey with a dropkick. Casey and Scott bend the rules and rake the eyes, but Brandi and Wendi recover quick and double team Scott, isolating her from Casey. Casey shakes Brandi off and tags in Angel Scott. Scott immediately isolates Brandi in a neutral corner but Wendi comes in to again and gets the upper hand by underhanded means. The Angels of Death’s year of experience work in their favor as Scott and Casey team up to catch Wendi coming down on a double suplex. Double dropkicks follow then a stereo German Suplex on both Brandi and Wendi Bayless. This crowd goes absolutely nuclear at this point.

Brandi tags Wendi in and spills to the outside. Wendi runs right into a STIFF lariat from Scott. Scott applies a front facelock to Wendi and slows down the pace of the match. Outside the ring, the Korvers and Regina McGill and the other three members of the SEC keep a watchful eye on the other. Wendi tries to get out of the hold. Several times, she teases getting away, but at the last possible second, Scott manages to pull her back. Wendi finally escapes and is able to reach Brandi for a tag. Brandi runs in and Scott levels her with a clothesline and puts her in a Gory Special. Brandi slips out and gets two on a sunset flip.  Wendi runs in but Scott DDT’s her. But Scott is running out of gas fast so she tries to reach her corner to tag in Casey only to have Brandi rocket by her and leveling Casey with a right hand- sending her flying off the apron. Brandi and Wendi hit double team body slam on Scott and set her up for the Total Makeover. Prisoner #034291 and Daisy Cutter-Bomb race around the ring and engage the Korver Sisters and McGill.

Wendi goes low; Brandi whips around and spinning heel kicks Scott in the back and sends her over Wendi landing face first to the mat.

Johnny Suave (v/o): TOTAL MAKEOVER! The Bayless Twins are going to survive.

Wendi rolls her over and makes the cover…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL MVW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Bayless Twins (Brandi and Wendi) at 26:44

Johnny Suave (v/o): Brandi and Wendi Bayless retain the belts, fending back a spirited challenge by the former tag team champions Angels of Death. It was not pretty. It was not easy. But I will give them credit for grinding through. So, the SEC continues to hold three of four belts and the big one is up next. Can ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas rise to the occasion and make it a clean sweep for the SEC tonight? Stay tuned.



The Zine

Wrestling Guy Small

The Wrestling Guys Run Sheet


[Cut to backstage…]

[Paige McGillicutty has the diminutive Corporate Predator Extraordinaire, CEO, the phenomenon known as Jill Berg with her.]

Paige McGillicutty: Jill, tonight Sheline Carrigan faces not only Kathryn Randall Collins but the SEC’s ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas. What is going through Sheline’s mind at this moment?

Jill Berg: Nothing. Paige, Sheline is focused on one thing and one thing only- the defense of her MVW title. I know our job right now is to hype the fact that we are minutes away from tonight’s main event. Tonight, we’ve watched Mr. McMann throw yet another public hissy fit so now we have a rare opportunity to see a wrestler in the ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, step into the ring in the main event of a pay per view show, who really doesn’t belong there.

Paige McGillicutty: You’re saying Haley isn’t championship material.

Jill Berg: I’m saying at this moment- no. But Mr. McMann, since I know you’re listening somewhere in the building tonight, listen and listen good. I watched how you almost ruined young Kari Ferguson before her career even got off the ground. Now, you’re pushing another wrestler who just isn’t ready for prime time. She’s going up against an athlete at her peak, who’s starting to really put things together, and perform at a level that Haley Dallas hasn’t ever reached. And then there’s the third person in the ring tonight, the former MVW champion Kathryn Randall Collins. She knows what it’s like to be in this type of situation. She’s been there under the hot lights in a main event. She’s won big matches like the one that’s about to happen tonight. So for Mr. McMann to pull whatever strings he’s pulled to do everything he’s done tonight and put Haley into a match that she’s just not ready for…I…I…just shake my head.

[And she does exactly that…shake her head. Jill nods at Paige and then leaves for the ring.]

Paige McGillicutty: That’s the final word from Jill Berg. Back to you Johnny.

[Cut back to Johnny Suave at ringside…]

Johnny Suave: Well? I thought Jill Berg spelled it out. We’re find out real quick if Haley Dallas is ready for prime time. Before we send it Kimber, let’s review the earlier results.

-Ninja Kitty defeated Lt. Katrina Atcheson
-‘The Argenta Rose’ Eva Perrin defeated ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
-Prisoner #034291 defeated Major Svetlana Kovaleski to win the Heartland Title
-Daisy Cutter-Bomb defeated ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris to win the Television Title
-Christa Carmondy defeated Poison Penny
-Tag Team Champions The Bayless Twins defeat Angels of Death to retain the tag title.

Johnny Suave: All right. It’ time and Kimber Marshall is in the ring. Kimber…

[Cut to Kimber Marshall in the ring…]

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen…this will be our MAIN EVENT!

[Kimber surveys the crowd are they are on their feet and making a lot of noise right now.]

Kimber Marshall: One fall…sixty minute time limit…this is a three way elimination match for the MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING TITLE!

[The crowd lets out another loud roar and Kimber has a hard time talking over them.]

Kimber Marshall: Introducing our first challenger.

Kimber Marshall: Weighing in tonight at one hundred and thirty-five pounds. From Denton, Texas. Accompanied to the ring by the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann-

[Loud boos echo throughout the arena.]

Kimber Marshall: …and the Sports Entertainment Consortium. Please welcome the TEXAS COWGIRL…HALE-LEEEEEEEE…DALLAS!

[The Texas Cowgirl walks out on stage with a white t-shirt on and carrying her lariat and bullrope over her shoulder. Mr. McMann and the rest of the SEC follow. Haley fist bumps Mr. McMann and the others and then starts towards the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: Our second challenger is a former MVW champion…

Kimber Marshall: Weighing tonight at one hundred forty-five pounds. She hales from Fort Myers, Florida. Please welcome…KATHRYN…RANDALL…COLLINS!

[Dressed in black wrestling attire, KRC slowly makes her way to the stage and pauses as the crowd applauds her. Then she goes right to the ring.]

Kimber Marshall: And finally…





[And the noise level goes up…]

Kimber Marshall: …managed by the Corporate Predator…

[The door closes and then reopens a few seconds later. Four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire and her male executive assistant, Jerry. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the staging area.]

Kimber Marshall: …the CEO…

[The procession emerges from the back and filters out onto the stage. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.]


[The group then waits.]

Kimber Marshall: …the phenomenon known as Jill Berg.



Kimber Marshall: Weighing in at one hundred and forty-five pounds. From Vilbank, Sasketchewan. She is the Canadian Cyborg…SHA-LEEEEEEEEEN…CARRRR-RIGANNNNNNNNN!

[The champion walks out on stage showing little emotion. She stops at the center and holds up the MVW title belt. She then follows Jill Berg’s procession down to the ring. Carrigan’s hair is bright red with a white headband with a Canadian flag painted on. Her ring attire is also red and white.]

Kimber Marshall: Ron Martin is the man in charge in the ring.


MAIN EVENT/MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING TITLE MATCH- ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan © vs. Kathryn Randall Collins vs. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas of the Sports Entertainment Consortium

‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan
AGE: 20 / HT: 6’0″ WT: 145 / HOME:  Vilbank, SK / FIN: Canadian Destroyer

Kathryn Randall Collins “KRC”
AGE: 33 / HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 145 / HOME: Ft. Myers, FL / FIN: Gogoplata

‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas
AGE: 30 / HT: 5’10 WT: 135 / HOME: Denton, Tx / FIN: Texas Lariat
STABLE: Sport Entertainment Consortium


Johnny Suave (v/o): This is it. The eight thousand people strong here are ready for tonight’s main event. Sheline Carrigan versus Kathryn Randall Collins versus ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and we are just about ready to go.

[The SEC huddle up with Haley Dallas while the referee checks the other two participants.]

[Martin calls for the bell.]

The bell rings and Dallas takes a tentative step forward…and waits.   KRC and Carrigan glance at each other. Dallas looks confused and doesn’t know which way to go. KRC and Carrigan nod. Then they charge the Texas Cowgirl. Chop by Carrigan to start. KRC goes for a dropkick, but Dallas moves. Carrigan whips Dallas towards the ropes and she flies right through and lands hard on the outside. Mr. McMann jumps up onto the apron and yells at Carrigan. Martin tells McMann to get down. Carrigan and Collins retreat to their respective corners and wait. Dallas slides back in. She engages KRC and locks up. Carrigan comes right up and pulls her off. The champion whips Dallas hard into the corner. Collins runs in and hits a forearm to the jaw stunning Dallas. She stumbles forward right to Carrigan who suplexes her. Then she lifts her up a second time and suplexes her again. McMann becomes apoplectic and screams at the referee as Carrigan holds Dallas up and KRC hits a clothesline off the top rope! Dallas tries to roll to the outside but Carrigan grabs her by the foot and drags her right back into her corner.

Prisoner #034291 and Daisy Cutter-Bomb jump up onto the ring apron and Martin goes right over and tells them to get back down. KRC climbs to the top turnbuckle and Carrigan holds her up and throws her on top of Dallas.

Johnny Suave (v/o): HOLY CRAP!

Collins covers…1…2…NO!   Dallas miraculously kicks out much to Mr. McMann’s relief. Carrigan with a cravat to Dallas from behind. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from KRC!  She sets Dallas up in the corner Tree of Woe style. McMann again screams at the referee and climbs up on the second turnbuckle. Martin yet again goes over and tells him to back down. Meanwhile, Carrigan runs across the ring and hits a basement missile dropkick to Dallas. She’s out. Collins rolls Dallas up. Prisoner #034291 and Daisy Cutter-Bomb rush the ring and we’re off. Martin immediately disqualifies the Texas Cowgirl which further infuriates Mr. McMann.

‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas eliminated at 8:18

Carrigan drop toe holds Prisoner # 034291 and heads to the top rope. She wants the stomp but the Prisoner dodges it and turns right into a Spinning Heel Kick from Jill Berg, who’s joined the fray. Collins drops to a knee and grounds Daisy with an arm drag takedown. Jill Berg snaps off another Spinning Heel Kick to Daisy and then KRC hops on the top rope and follows with a fist drop. Prisoner #034291 grabs KRC from behind and blatantly chokes her. Carrigan with a dropkick to Prisoner.

The noise level jumps up exponentially as Christa Carmondy, Regina McGill and the Korver Sisters race down to the ring. McGill veers right for McMann and clips his knee from behind sending him tumbling off the ring apron. Regina mounts him and unloads a barrage of rights and lefts until the tag team champions Brandi and Wendi Bayless come to the ring and pull her off. Then Jill Berg jumps the Bayless Twins and decks Wendi with another Spinning Heel Kick. Referee Ron Martin tells Prisoner #034291 to get out of the ring. Prisoner #034291 lifts Martin up by the throat and chokeslams him. Carmondy tosses Carrigan a chair and the champion potatoes Prisoner #034291 in the back of the head with it…twice. She drops like a rock to the mat. The Korvers tackle the Bayless Twins. Carmondy drags Daisy Cutter-Bomb out of the ring. Regina McGill chases Mr. McMann to the back. Referee Davey Keels runs down and assumes control of the match. Martin is pulled from the ring and attended to by medical personnel. The Texas Cowgirl is carried to the back by Daisy Cutter-Bomb and the rest of the SEC retreat to the back.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Keels is going to restart the match now that the trash has been cleaned out.

Keels tells Carrigan and Collins to retreat to their corners. He calls for the bell again and the match restarts. They meet in the middle of the ring and slap hands. Collins shoots the leg but misses. Carrigan locks up, Collins reverses into an SOS and covers…1…Carrigan kicks out. Backstabber from Collins. She goes for a Superkick, but Carrigan ducks and sweeps KRC’s leg out from under her. Leg drop by the Canadian Cyborg and she hooks the leg. Keels makes the count 1..2…NO!!! KRC gets the shoulder up and retreats to a corner. Carrigan rushes the corner, Collins steps to the side and spins for a kick. Carrigan ducks, and plants KRC with a Sidewalk Slam. Elbow drop follows and another cover. 1…2…Collins gets the shoulder up.

Lockup. Carrigan works the arm but Collins escapes with a roll. She tries to reverse but Carrigan hops over, turns, and hits a kick to the jaw. Arm drag takedown by Carrigan. Collins jumps right back up and into another one. KRC back up again, Carrigan rolls her up for the win 1…2…NO! Carrigan keeps the pressure on with another rollup. 1…2.NO! Carrigan with a front-face headlock. She spins Collins around…lifts her up…Facebuster. Cover…1…2…Collins grabs the bottom rope. Too close to the ropes. Collins pulls herself up and tries to clear her head while Carrigan methodically decides her next move. KRC hits a dropkick. She goes for a clothesline that Carrigan ducks under. Collins comes off the other side and again misses a clothesline. She runs the ropes again but this time, Carrigan decks her with a Shoulder Block. Dropkick from the champion and a hard right hand. Carrigan pulls Collins towards her but suddenly KRC rolls her up 1…2…NO! Chop from Collins. Collins off the ropes and hits a springboard crossbody. Snapmare into a kick to the head by the challenger. Collins covers for 1..2..NO! Right forearm to the champion and Collins is gaining momentum. KRC goes for a DDT but Carrigan uses her strength to lift her up and falls backward.

Carrigan lifts KRC up belly to back and brings her down face first- IMPLANT BUSTER! Collins slowly tries to get up. The champion walks over and again pulls her back to her feet. Carrigan sets her up…head between her legs…CANADIAN DESTROYER! Vertical press. 1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL MVW CHAMPION: ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan @ 22:34

Johnny Suave (v/o): She’s done it. Sheline Carrigan has held off a game effort by former champion Kathryn Randall Collins and she retains the MVW title.

[Jill Berg holds Carrigan’s arm up while the crowd stands and applauds both wrestlers. Carrigan goes over to Collins and helps her up.]

Johnny Suave (v/o): It’s been an eventful night. Two new champions and a whole lot more going on behind the scenes. Thank you for tuning in tonight. It’s been a great show and we’ll see you next month for MVWA 71 from Wichita, Kansas. Good night everyone.



[Close up on Dawn McGill. She’s sitting in her chair at her desk watching a slideshow of pictures on her laptop. Her face is an image of distress as she sees the pictures cycle through, one after another, with stunned, almost stricken expression.

Closes up on the photos cycling through on her computer. They are of Dawn the night before after the Christmas get together in Mr. McMann’s hotel room. She’s clearly intoxicated and in various stages of undress.]

[‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann enters her office with Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow and puts his hands on her shoulders.]

Mr. McMann: Deceit. Treachery. Duplicity. It’s a terrible thing, isn’t it?

[She stays silent.]

Mr. McMann: I mean, you told me some great stories at the party last night. I loved the one where you explained how you and Ray first got together.  I believe it was a night of drinking where both of you got so drunk that you woke up in bed with each other. Pretty ironic don’t you think?

[She blinks rapidly but otherwise does not react.]

Mr. McMann: Of course, then there was the story where you didn’t tell your husband that you didn’t renew the lease on the house in Dallas. You moved to St. Louis without telling him and hoped he’d go along with the idea. And how did your meeting with him on Monday go again?

[Dawn doesn’t respond.  She simply gazes at the laptop screen.]

Mr. McMann: What would Ray say if he saw those pictures? I’m pretty sure that would be it for your marriage wouldn’t you think?

McMann and McGill1

Mr. McMann: Congratulations. You got one over me with texting your sister Regina and warning her about the tag team match. That’s the last time. You pull anything like that again and I will email the photos you are looking at to Ray McAvay. I’m sure your husband would be very interested.

[Dawn finally can’t take it anymore and turns away.]

Mr. McMann: Oh no you don’t.

[With his hands, McMann forces her to watch the pictures as they come up.]

Mr. McMann: Here’s how this is going to go from this point forward. I am the puppeteer. You are my puppet. You’re technically in ‘charge.’ But all decisions…especially all booking decisions, go through me first. I will have the final say. Do you understand?

[McGill doesn’t respond.]

Mr. McMann: I said…do you understand?

Dawn McGill: Yes.

[McMann slides the straps off her shoulders and continues to rub them with his hands.]

Mr. McMann: Because I will have this email at the ready. And if I find out you’ve been not living up to your end of the agreement, all it takes is one push of the button, one click of a mouse, and your husband will get a most unpleasant surprise. Do you understand?

Dawn McGill: Yes.

Mr. McMann: I want you to know I’m not thinking of this as payback. I’m thinking of this as good business. This is a great opportunity…for me. And as long as you play your part and do what you’re told, Missouri Valley Wrestling will have a bright future. And in the end, isn’t that what really matters? The business?

[McMann leaves the scene. His footsteps heading towards the door is clearly audible.

Mr. McMann’s voice: Think about it.



About Art Nouveaux

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