Missouri Valley Wrestling Presents MVWA 66 on Heartland TV

Qwest Center
Omaha, NE
Saturday November 7th, 2015
Announcers: Johnny Suave and Dawn McGill

[SHOW OPEN: Montage

Lani Harlot bends both of Amy Mason legs up and tucks her ankles against her armpits and sits down. She then reaches over and grabs Amy’s chin and pulls back…aka The White Trash Compactor.

Carrieanne McDermott grabs Terry Sargent by the head and head butts her in the nose.

Ninja Kitty hits a 450 splash off the top turnbuckle.

‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan hits the Canadian Destroyer on Chondra Wells and flips Chondra over landing in a seated position and driving Wells’s head down to the mat between her thighs.

Former host of ‘Shot at Scoring with a Skanky Video Channel Reality Star’ Mia Margarita is tied up in the tree of woe. Regina McGill goes to the opposite corner…takes off running and hits a flying drop kick. Mia’s feet come off the corner and she slides to the mat.

Harley Davisson has Wendi Bayless of the SEC in a front facelock. Carrieanne McDermott has Brandi Bayless in the Indian Deathlock. Kari Ferguson runs down to the ring with a make up kit and throws powder in McDermott’s eyes, blinding her.

Jill Berg Enterprises (Angels of Death, Mia Margarita, and Hallie Burton) file their way to the ring. ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris, seeing the JBE reinforcements, goes to the top turnbuckle and bowls into all four of them with a wild suicide dive.

Kathryn Randall Collins puts her legs around Dr. Annabel ‘From Hannibal’ Lecker’s back and then slips one foot around Dr. Lecker’s head and under her chin. She locks her hands behind Dr. Lecker’s head and chokes her by pressing her shin against the trachea. Dr. Lecker looks over to Charlize Starling…she’s contently leaning over the top rope and totally relaxed while Melissa continues to massage her back. Finally, Dr. Lecker has no other choice- she taps out.

‘Queen Cool Leah Iris slowly gets up. Jill Berg snaps off a spinning heel kick…bingo! Leah falls forward to her knees. Jill launches herself forward and buries her shoulder into Leah’s stomach. The crowd rises. Jill pulls Leah up and sets her up over her shoulder…and slams her to the mat.

Jill Berg glowers over her opponent Lady Halitosis and starts talking to her. Lady Halitosis pops her head up and breathes right in the champion’s face. Jill immediately keels backwards to a sitting position.]


[CLOSE UP camera shot of the cheering crowd]

Suave (v/o): Welcome to MVWA 66 on Heartland Television! From the

[CLOSE UP-Johnny Suave and Dawn McGill at the broadcast desk. Suave has brown hair and goatee and wears a black suit jacket with a white shirt. McGill has a set of headphones over her medium length blond hair and a simple black blouse/mini-skirt combination. Dawn’s now into her fifth month of pregnancy and looks heavier. Her face is a little rounder.]

Suave and Shania

Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave: I am Johnny Suave. She is the former High Octane Wrestling LSD champion Dawn McGill.

[Dawn smiles and waves at the camera.]


Dawn McGill

Dawn McGill: Hey everyone!

Suave: Well? We all know what’s going on tonight. Missouri Valley Wrestling’s financial difficulties have been well documented. Tonight’s show was supposed to take place last week but had to be pushed back. All I can say is that one way or another, there will be a new owner of MVW announced here in Omaha this evening. Dawn?

Dawn McGill: I can’t add anything more to what you just said, Johnny. So, let’s talk about tonight’s card.

Suave: Good idea. Our main event tonight is a MVW title match. Lady Halitosis won the MVW Title from Jill Berg in June and now has held the title for over four months. Tonight, she faces the former leader of both Jill Berg Enterprises and the Green World Order- Kathryn Randall Collins. Lady Halitosis has overcome the odds at every turn, Dawn. Can she do it again tonight?

Dawn McGill: KRC is a multiple time PCW Women’s champion. She’s going to be Lady Halitosis’s biggest challenge to date, Johnny.

Suave: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas defend their MVW Tag Team title belts against The Kentucky Deerhunters. Once again, Kellyanne Morris and Bailey Foster step up for another shot at gold. Is this their night?

Dawn McGill: The Deerhunters are going to want to turn this into a street fight. But Tess and Dallas can more than hold their own in that type of atmosphere. This should be a good one.

Suave: And then our opener. CEO of Jill Berg Enterprises, former MVW champion, and Corporate Predator Extraordinaire…the phenomenon known as Jill Berg takes on the sweetheart of Mr. McMann’s Sports Entertainment Consortium Kari Ferguson.

Dawn McGill: Johnny, the so-called ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is doing her a huge disservice by pushing her into these type of high pressure, high profile matches when she’s clearly not ready for them.  I think Jill will make quick work of Kari tonight.

Suave: So that’s our live card for tonight and-

The crowd begins to boo as ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann makes his way down to the ring. He’s followed by his hired muscle Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow…hint…not THAT one…and then the Lingerie Girls Brandi and Wendi Bayless.

Suave: And what does he want?

McMann climbs into the ring and is handed his silver briefcase.

McMann: Tonight is going to be a pivotal night for not only the SEC but for Missouri Valley Wrestling. You see, Kari Ferguson is going to establish herself as a legitimate MVW title contender against the overrated, over the hill Jill Berg tonight and then I (holds the briefcase up), the Sports Entertainment Genius Mr. McMann will take my rightful place as the undisputed owner of Missouri Valley Wrestling…and remake it in my vision.

The crowd boos some more.

McMann: Go ahead and boo all you want to. The fact is MVW needs me. It needs my ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ to save it from oblivion. So, here’s what it comes down to. Either Missouri Valley Wrestling accepts my more than generous offer to buy the company by the end of tonight’s show, or I’ll pull my offer off the table and MVW will perish.   Suave. Romanov. Briscoe. Missouri Valley Wrestling’s fate is in your hands.

Dawn McGill: I really hate him. My husband Ray McAvay- he really, really hates him.

Suave: When we return from our break, we’re going to take a look at the earlier matches on tonight’s card and set you up for the three big matches on tap.


Shot in black and white, the commercial starts out in an old fashioned kitchen right out of the 1950’s. Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Dawn McGill, over four months pregnant, sits at the kitchen table with an antique adding machine to her right. She looks the part of the stereotypical happy suburban housewife as she’s dressed in all white, complete with big, pearly smile, as she sifts through the monthly bills.

Announcer (voiceover): The secret to a happy home in these modern times is a housewife who’s in control of the finances.

McGill glances up and looks straight at the camera.

McGill:  Actually, any wife, husband, or human person could use Progressive’s ‘Name Your Price’ tool (Dawn holds up the gun-like prop aka the ‘Name Your Price’ tool) to take control of their budget.

Dawn slightly tilts her face and smiles.

Announcer (v/o): And while the men do the hard work of making money…

Close up on McGill as her facial expression changes. She looks slightly annoyed now.

Announcer (v/o):…she can get all the car insurance options her little heart desires.

No check that. She looks a little pissed off.

McGill: Men do the hard work of making money? Really?

Cut to the announcer guy- a walking, talking relic from the 1950’s.

Announcer (smiling and scoffing): Women don’t have jobs making money.

Cut back to Dawn. She looks at the ‘Name Your Price’ tool. Then she looks at the announcer guy like a tiger eyeing its prey.

Cut to the announcer guy.

Announcer: Modernizing car insurance the-*WHACK*

McGill cracks the announcer guy with the ‘Name Your Price’ tool.

Announcer: Owww. You hit me.

Then Dawn takes a headlock and gauges the announcer’s forehead with the ‘Name Your Price’ tool. Blood begins to flow from over his right eye.

Announcer: Where’s your husband?”

McGill: Where’s my husband? I’ll show you where my husband is.

Dawn takes announcer guy by the arm and flings him into the kitchen table. Then she goes to the cupboard and pulls out a skillet. No, not the cheaply constructed, newfangled skillets but the old fashioned iron skillet. Despite being four plus months pregnant, she easily lifts the skillet and…


…brains the hell out of announcer guy with it.

The director of the commercial runs out.

Director: Hey! You can’t-


Dawn doesn’t hesitate and gives the director an iron skillet facial.  The director recoils back and screws himself into the floor.

Ray McAvay’s voice: What the hell is-



Fade to black.

McGill’s voice: Um…*BLEEP*.  Sorry Ray.


The first half an hour of the show recaps and shows highlights from the undercard earlier in the evening.

The Missouri Valley Fight Club (Carrieanne McDermott/Harley Davisson) defeat The Egos (Da’un Henley/Gwen Frey)

Adrienne Banks defeated Elaine Brazier

Backman Taylor Powerdrive (Charlene Backman/Brianna Taylor) defeat Spiders and Snakes (Anna Conda/Natasha ‘The Black Widow’ Littell)

Jill Berg Enterprises (Daisy Cutter-Bomb/Hallie Burton) defeat Airline Amie/Hannah Lancer

TELEVISION TITLE MATCH: ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris © defeated ‘By the Book’ Tiana Walker



Suave: Let’s throw it backstage to Paige McGillicutty for an update.

Cut to Paige McGillicutty standing in the back with a large Missouri Valley Wrestling banner behind her on a wall.

Paige McGillicutty

Paige McGillicutty: Johnny. There’s a lot of pressure on young Kari Ferguson tonight as she takes on Jill Berg in a just a couple minutes. The backstage scuttlebutt suggests that ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is not happy at all with her performances on the big stage.   She lost to Lady Halitosis in a MVW title match on October 17th and then to Jill Berg on the 24th, looking overwhelmed and out of sorts. Basically, I’m told Ferguson is down to her final chance with the SEC and she has to come through tonight or else. Back to you Johnny.

Cut back to Suave and McGill at the broadcast table.

Suave: Dawn? You’ve been very vocal about this.

Dawn McGill: I put this squarely on Mr. McMann. Kari wasn’t ready. She needed more ring experience. I told McMann she wasn’t ready and needed ring experience but no, he said she had a ‘look’ and that would be enough. Well, newsflash. It’s not. He tries anything with her tonight and I’ll use this on him.

McGill holds up the Progressive ‘Name Your Price’ tool.

Suave: Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that. To the ring and Kimber Marshall.

Cut to Kimber Marshall in the ring- ready to announce the first match.

Kimber Marshall: Our first match is a one fall, twenty minute time limit. First, coming to the ring. Accompanied by the Sports Entertainment Consortium. She is Kari Ferguson!

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann comes out with Ferguson. Behind them are the Lingerie Girls Brandi and Wendi Bayless and the hired guns Bo Dallas and Timothy Allen Tebow.

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent…

The door opens and Jill Berg’s bodyguards assemble at the door.





The door closes and then reopens a few seconds later. Eight large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman smartly dressed in corporate attire, her male assistant, Jerry, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Hallie Burton, Svetlana Kovaleski, Regina McGill, and Kirsten Canfield. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

Suave (v/o): And here she comes.

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.


[Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as Jill walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.]

Kimber Marshall: From the financial district of New York City. She is the corporate predator, the CEO of Jill Berg Enterprises…and she is the phenomenon known as JIIIIIIILLLL- BERRRRRRRG!

The group then continues towards the ring.

Dawn McGill (v/o): I don’t think Jill’s going to mess around tonight. I think she knows Kari’s confidence is just about shot and she’s going to take full advantage.


MATCH #1: Jill Berg vs. Kari Ferguson

Referee Davey Keels calls for the bell and the match starts. Jill calmly walks forward and snaps off a Spinning Heel Kick that connects flush.

Johnny Suave (v/o): HOLY CRAP! DID YOU SEE THAT?

Dawn McGill (v/o): She’s in trouble already.

Jill follows up with kicks to Kari’s already rubbery legs and connects with a basement dropkick. Kari is driven back to the ropes and tries to fight back. Jill delivers stiff chops. She steps back- thrust kick. Kari staggers forward. Jill takes her by the back of the head and drives her face first to the mat.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Running Bulldog by Berg. She covers.

Keels makes the count…1…2…

Johnny Suave (v/o): No! Kari gets a shoulder up.

Berg controls most of the match, once again outclassing the rookie in every aspect. However, unlike the previous matches where ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann sent in the SEC to cause a disqualification finish, tonight McMann kept the SEC at bay and let Ferguson wrestle. But then…

Suave (v/o):
…it’s been all Jill Berg. But yet Kari keeps fighting on.

Dawn McGill (v/o): She’s under immense pressure Johnny. She’s fighting for her spot.

Suave (v/o): Rake to the eyes by Ferguson.

Berg pauses and tries to clear her vision. Kari then crouches down and launches herself forward shoulder first, catching Berg in the stomach and driving her into the turnbuckle.

Suave (v/o): FERGUSON FIGHTING BACK! Snap mare takedown by the youngster. She covers…NO! Berg kicks out at one.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Much better from Kari.

Suave (v/o):
Kari Ferguson has mounted a spirited comeback here tonight. She’s scratched and clawed her way back into this match.

Ferguson has Berg on the ropes. She hesitates…trying to figure out what her next move is. Suddenly, Berg whips around and snaps off another Spinning Heel Kick.

Suave (v/o): HOLY CRAP!

Dawn McGill (v/o): She waited too long to make her next move Johnny.

Ferguson drops to her knees. Berg steps forward and pounces.

Suave (v/o): BUZZSAW KICK!

Kari topples over. Berg wastes no time in hooking the legs. Referee Davey Keels makes the count.

Suave (v/o): One. Two. Three!   That’s it!

Keels raises Berg’s arm up in victory. Kimber Marshall returns to the ring to make the formal announcement.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner at seven minutes, twenty-one seconds. The phenomenon known as JILLLLL BERRRRRRRRRG!

Dawn McGill (v/o): Jill Berg’s experience wins the day but give Kari credit for sticking with…(sees McMann and the SEC climbing into the ring)…oh…crap.

McMann rolls into the ring with the hired muscle Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow and the Lingerie Girls Brandi and Wendi Bayless. They surround the downed Ferguson.

Suave (v/o): This doesn’t look good.

McMann ruefully shakes his head and motions to Stevens and Tebow. The pair haul Ferguson up to a standing position. Then Brandi hits a spin kick high; Wendi sweeps the legs out low, Ferguson lands hard face first on the mat.

Suave (v/o): TOTAL MAKEOVER!

Dawn McGill (v/o): Dammit! Son of a bitch!”

Mr. McMann: Three chances, Kari. I gave you three chances to prove yourself and you failed me all three times.

The crowd boos in response. McMann responds by holding up what appears to be a script.

Mr. McMann: Of course you’re booing me. (Opens the script and points to a particular place) It says here you’re supposed to boo me! I told you to do it. But the script (McMann flips through the pages and then holds it up again- pointing to the place) also says that Kari Ferguson defeats Jill Berg. You don’t understand how sports entertainment works. Whatever the script says, goes.

Jill Berg: Oh, shut up.

Now the crowd roars.

Suave (v/o): Jill Berg. Crowd favorite.

Dawn McGill (v/o): After what went down with us earlier this year, I never thought I’d be cheering Jill Berg on.   But I am.

Jill Berg: You know what, you sucked me into your plan hook, link, and sinker earlier in the year because I so badly wanted to get back at Ray McAvay. That was my mistake. Yes, there’s a show business element to pro wrestling. We all get that. But there’s also a talent element involved and experience is a huge part of it as well. And while Kari Ferguson is talented and has a future, if you haven’t screwed her up, we all know experience wise she’s not quite there…yet.

McMann rolls his eyes.

Then something happens in the back and the crowd turns to see what’s happening.

It’s the former MVW Television Champion ‘The Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan. And she’s running down to the ring.

Suave (v/o): And here comes Sheline Carrigan to the ring. She’s coming down to- HOLY CRAP!

Dawn McGill (v/o): DAMMIT!

Carrigan slides into the ring and lariats the hell out of Jill Berg. Immediately, JBE Colleagues Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Hallie Burton, Svetlana Kovalevski, Regina McGill, and Kirsten Canfield make for the ring. They’re met at the ring ropes by Stevens and Tebow and the Bayless twins who try to keep them out.

Meanwhile, Carrigan pulls Berg up and puts her head between her legs. She leaps up and over, flipping Berg in midair and landing in a seated position…


Berg lands face first on the mat.

Carrigan then walks over to Ferguson and casts a look at McMann. McMann gives her a thumbs up…and then turns it into a thumbs down.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Oh, no.

Carrigan pulls Ferguson up. She puts her head between her legs and leaps up and over…


Ferguson also is left face first on the mat. McMann walks over ‘tsk, tsking’ and stands over Ferguson.

Mr. McMann: You’re fired.

Then he goes over to Jill Berg- still not moving.

Mr. McMann: That’s why I’m the Sports Entertainment Genius. And you? (Laughs) You’re just…irrelevant.

McMann goes over to Carrigan and raises her arm in the air.

Suave (v/o): Sheline Carrigan in the SEC! This is not good.

McMann then goes over to the side of the ring facing the broadcast desk. He points at McGill. McGill stands up. McMann then points at Carrigan and grins.

Suave: Okay. Don’t do anything rash-

McGill takes the Progressive ‘Name Your Price’ tool and heaves it at McMann, striking him in the eye.


McMann covers his eyes with his hands and stumbles backward. Carrigan takes a step forward and starts to climb through the ropes to the floor. McGill grabs a chair and folds it up.


A man dressed in an expensive suit and bow-tie walks to the ring and climbs in. He motions for Kimber Marshall to take a temporary powder while he’s been given the honor and privilege of introducing a living deity.

Announcer Guy (in a voice not unlike Michael Buffer): Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the sun gods of all creation. He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day. He is the great, fiery globe in the sky, a welcome, nurturing presence to honor the season. He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the 1950s. And just for your reference, he is, for 32 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego‘s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends. But that’s not important.


The lights turn off and a small spotlight illuminates the stage. The Arizona State sorority sisters flown in to be Rah’s followers enter, still taking copious amounts of selfies as they walk towards the ring. Two men follow carrying a golden sedan chair holding a six foot seven inch, two hundred and eighty pound man dressed in long flowing robes to the ring.

Annnoucer Guy: Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight. I give to you…the Sunshine God…RAAAAAAAAH!

The procession stops at the ring steps. Rah climbs out of his golden sedan chair with a special guest.


Rah has a bandage on the top of his head from where he’d taken two guitar shots the night before in Chicago.

He and McAvay step in front of McGill. The Arizona State sorority girls…yeah…they continue to smile, preen, and pose while taking selfies at ringside- completely clueless at what’s going on around them.

Blood flows from McMann’s eye.

Mr. McMann: YOU! (Pointing at McGill) You just made a fatal mistake. When I finish the transaction tonight that gives me complete ownership of Missouri Valley Wrestling, my first official act is to have your fat ass hauled out of here for good!

Suave: She’s pregnant with twins, you idiot.

Mr. McMann: And YOU’LL be the second one sent out the door when I take over, Suave.

Missouri Valley Wrestling security come to the ring and it’s time for a commercial break.



It’s a Carl’s Junior commercial and you know what that means.

The spot starts as Dark and Stormy, Ray McAvay’s valets and wearing the official ‘Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up. Get to Work.’ t-shirts (in white) and Daisy Duke Shorts, stand in McAvay’s corner during a match.

Dawn McGill and Johnny Suave sit at the broadcast table and are commentating on the match as both ladies pull out a Carl’s Jr’s half pound Western Bacon Thickburger and begin to eat in a most sensuous stimulating way.

Dawn McGill: McAvay with the sidewalk slam. What a move…right Johnny? Johnny?

McGill notices that Johnny is otherwise occupied at the moment.

Dawn McGill: Johnny?

Why? Because Johnny’s not watching the action inside the ring. He’s watching the action outside the ring. The house lights inside the Best Arena turn low and a spotlight shines on Stormy, her brown hair ruffling in the artificially produced wind- thanks to a huge off screen fan. Stormy sees Johnny staring at her and waves as she slowly, tantalizingly takes a huge bite from the Western Bacon Thickburger sandwich.

Johnny Suave: It’s only a matter of time, Dawn.

Dawn McGill: What?

Johnny Suave: It’s only a matter of time until one of them spills barbeque sauce on their shirt and then we’ll have a real strip show here.

As if on cue, Dark, her black hair also fluttering in the artificially created breeze, takes a huge bite of her sandwich and a massive glob of barbeque sauce slathered in between the buns slithers out and stains her pearly white t-shirt.

Johnny Suave: See? I told you.

Of course, Dark’s horrified at the development so she slips off her barbeque sauce stained t-shirt and reveals that she’s wearing a barbeque colored bikini top.

Dawn McGill: Well, the action seems to have shifted away from the ring.

Ray McAvay and his unknown opponent have stopped wrestling and lean against the top rope to watch as Stormy takes a sizable bite of her Thickburger. In a shocking development, a major glob of barbeque sauce spills onto her white t-shirt.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! Thank you God!

So Stormy also pulls off her barbeque stained white t-shirt off and- surprise, she too has a barbeque colored bikini top on.

Johnny Suave: Thank you! Could this get any better?

Bert the Janitor walks into the scene. He picks up the two soiled white t-shirts and tosses them into his mop bucket. He hands Dark a supersized bottle of barbeque sauce and then moves on. She slowly opens up the bottle and proceeds to pour it all over the burger, all over Stormy’s burger, and then ‘accidently’ spills it all over herself.

Dawn McGill: I don’t know Johnny. It sure looks like she did that on purpose-

Johnny Suave: Accidents happen.

Being the helpful person she is, Stormy tries to clean up the massive mess her friend just made by licking the barbeque sauce off Dark’s chest- of which you can’t tell now if she’s wearing a bikini top or not. In the process, the barbeque sauce ends up spilled all over her chest…and neck…and then her arms.

Announcer Guy (v/o): Two for the price of one.

Watching from the ring, McAvay’s eyes widen and he leans on the top rope to get a closer view. Dawn McGill then gets out of her chair and ‘Gibbs-slaps’ Ray in the back of the head.

Ray McAvay (holding the back of his head): Ow!

Announcer Guy (v/o): Carl’s Junior’s Half Pound Western Thickburger…

Dark begins to undo Stormy’s bikini top.

Announcer Guy (v/o): Only at Carl’s Junior.


Fade to black.

Johnny Suave’s voice: DAMMIT!



Paige McGillicutty: I’m backstage with tonight’s challenger for the Missouri Valley Wrestling title- Kathryn Randall Collins.

KRC steps into the shot.

Paige McGillicutty: Kathryn, until recently you were the leader of the Green World Order. What exactly happened there?

Kathryn Randall Collins: The GWO didn’t want to do the hard work needed to better themselves in the ring. That simple. I tried sticking up for them. I tried cutting them some slack. But they wouldn’t listen to me so in the end, I had to leave them behind.

Paige McGillicutty: Your thoughts on tonight’s match with Lady Halitosis.

Kathryn Randall Collins: Lady Halitosis is a great example of someone who’s put the work in. She was presented with a golden opportunity a few months back and took full advantage of it when she defeated Jill Berg for the title. Hopefully, tonight is my night to do the same.

Paige McGillicutty: Good luck.

Kathryn Randall Collins: Thanks-

Code Pink, Peta from PETA, and Soccer Mom of the Green World Order interrupt the interview.

Code Pink: Traitor!

KRC turns just in time to take the full effect of a Glitter Bomb.

Blinded and covering her eyes, KRC is no match for the GWO. She’s thrown to the floor and stomped on by Peta and Soccer Mom.

Code Pink: That’s for turning your back on us.

The GWO depart leaving Paige to check on KRC.

Paige McGillicutty: Back to you Johnny.

Cut back to Suave and McGill at the broadcast desk.

Suave: Thanks Paige. The GWO apparently don’t take very kindly to being jilted.

Dawn McGill: I can’t believe MVW’s still showing that commercial.

Suave: I can’t believe you just tried to pick a fight with Mr. McMann in the condition you’re in.   And why is Ray here tonight? I thought he’d be out west.

Dawn McGill: He’s off tonight and Omaha isn’t that far of a drive from Chicago.

Suave: Speaking of Chicago, Ray picked up a huge win last night against David Black on High Octane Wrestling’s Friday Night Chaos show.

Dawn McGill: Yep. He’s grinding right now between working at HOW and the Independent Western Wrestling Word dates.

Suave: Why has Sheline Carrigan turned on Jill Berg like that?

Dawn McGill: Back in July, word got to MVW that a mortgage company, Northern Star Canada Mortgage filed for foreclosure on the Carrigan family property in Vilbank, Saskatchewan. Someone about that same time, an anonymous person, called MVW headquarters and made the claim that Northern Star Canada Mortgage has ties to…Jill Berg Enterprises. Of course, then, no one would put it past Jill to do something like that to coerce someone to work for her. And Jill, to her credit, owned up to what she did a few weeks back.

Suave: Sheline teaming up with Mr. McMann is not a good thing for MVW.

Dawn McGill: No. No it’s not.

Suave: But the current MVW Tag Team champions teaming up together has been a good thing.

Dawn McGill: The ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas have made a good tag team and more importantly, brought some stability to the tag team division.

Suave: Their opponents tonight are the Kentucky Deerhunters.

Dawn McGill: Ironically, the Deerhunters are responsible for Tess and Dallas being the tag champs.

(REPLAY: MVWA 63- Angels of Deaths © vs. ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas)
…Dallas covers as Tess again gets out of the ring. Martin slow to count but finally gets there…1…2…NO!


[Casey hit her own top rope missile dropkick and knocked Dallas off Scott.]


[Outside the ring, now it’s on. Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy join the fray. Angel Casey jumps down from the ring apron and she wades in and it’s a full out brawl now. Ron Martin wanders over and observes not watching what’s going on in the ring behind him.]


[Kellyanne Morris and Bailey Foster stand over a downed Tessa Martin and Haley Dallas. Angel Scott gets up and wonders what the hell is going on. Morris and Foster then nail her with a double clothesline.]


[Foster goes top rope. Morris pulls Scott back up and whips her into the ropes. She catches her on the return and holds her as Foster jumps from the top and grabs her by the head and drives her hard to the mat.]


[Morris grabs Dallas and drags her over to Scott. She deposits her on top of the fallen Angel and then both Deerhunters exit the ring. Ron Martin turns and sees the ‘cover.’ He goes over…1…2…3! Martin calls for the bell.]



Suave: The Kentucky Deerhunters earned their latest shot at the MVW Tag Team title with a hard fought victory over the Missouri Valley Fight Club in Kansas City two weeks ago.

*”Dumas Walker” by the Kentucky Headhunters plays*

Suave: And here comes the Kentucky Deerhunters.

Kellyanne Morris runs down the aisle to the ring. She climbs up the steps and turns to the crowd and leads them in song.

Let’s all go, down to Dumas Walker
Let’s all go, down to Dumas Walker
We’ll get a slaw, burger, fries, and a bottle of ski
Bring it on out to my baby and me

Cut to the ring where Kimber Marshall is doing the ring introductions.

Kimber Marshall: Our next match is one fall and for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Title. Hailing from Corbin, Kentucky- she is KELLY-ANNNE MORRIS.

Foster also runs down to the ring. She eschews the steps and slides stomach first in under the ropes.

Kimber Marshall: And from Pikeville, Kentucky- BAIL-LEEEEEE FOSTER! They are the KENNNN-TUCKY DEERRRRR-HUNTERS!

Wearing matching camouflage ring attire, Morris and Foster high five each other and continues to lead the fans in a sing-along to their theme music.

Let’s all go, down to Dumas Walker
Let’s all go, down to Dumas Walker
We’ll get a slaw, burger, fries, and a bottle of ski
Bring it on out to my baby and me

The music abruptly segueways into a thumping, rock beat following by hard rock guitar.

*”Dig In” by Lenny Kravitz plays*

Kimber Marshall: And now, the Missouri Valley Wrestling tag team champions. First, from Bowling Green, Ohio. She is the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’…TESSA MARTIN!

Dressed in a pizza delivery shirt and a pair of long gym shorts, Martin holds up her MVW Tag Team title belt and walks down to the ring.

Tessa rolls herself into the ring as the music changes off to “God Bless Texas” by Little Texas.

Kimber Marshall: And her partner. From the Lone Star State, Denton, Texas. The Texas Cowgirl. HALEY DALLAS!

Haley walks out wearing a leather vest, a wrestling singlet with the MVW Tag Team title belt wrapped around her waist, and a cowgirl hat. She pauses outside the ring when the song reaches the end of the chorus and raises her fist in the air…

I’ve been sent to spread the message

Suave (v/o): Martin and Dallas versus the Kentucky Deerhunters for the MVW Tag Team Title.

Referee Ron Martin checks with both sides. Tessa Martin will start for the champions; Kellyanne Morris for the Deerhunters.


MATCH #2/MVW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas vs. The Kentucky Deerhunters (Kellyanne Morris/Bailey Foster)

Martin calls for the bell. Tess and Kellyanne meet in the middle and lock up. Kellyanne uses her strength to gain the advantage. Tess reverses and takes a hammerlock on Morris. She changes up into a headlock but Morris uses her power to push Tess off. Morris whips Tess into the ropes. Tess comes off the ropes firing with a dropkick. Tess covers. One…two…

Suave (v/o): Morris kicks out and I think Tess had some air time.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Kellyanne grew up on a farm and she’s very strong, Johnny.

This proved to be a matchup of skill versus strength, technique versus brawling tactics. The Deerhunters take the action outside the ring a couple times but referee Ron Martin keeps a firm handle on the match- using the ten count on several occasions to force the action back into the ring.

Morris (on the inside of the ring) and Foster (on the outside) have Dallas trapped in the corner.

Suave (v/o): She’s in the wrong part of town and Tess is screaming at Martin.

Morris winds up with her right hand and throws a haymaker towards Dallas. Dallas ducks and Morris connects with Foster instead, sending her flying off the ring apron.

Dallas takes a stunned Morris by the arm and whips her across the ring towards Tess. Tess takes her oversized pizza box of doom, rears back, and piefaces Morris with it.

Referee Ron Martin immediately calls for the bell.

Suave (v/o): Martin calls for the bell? Is he disqualifying the tag team champions?

Dawn McGill (v/o): I believe he is. He had a clear view of Tess hitting Morris with the oversized pizza box of doom.

Martin explains the decision to ring announcer Kimber Marshall. She then raises the microphone to her mouth.

Kimber Marshall: Because referee Ron Martin disqualified Tessa Martin and Haley Dallas at eight minutes, forty-three seconds of the match, the winners of this match are the Kentucky Deerhunters.

Morris and Foster high-five each other.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Wait for it.

Kimber Marshall: But since the titles do not change on a disqualification, the Missouri Valley Wrestling Tag Team Champions remain Tessa Martin and Haley Dallas.

Morris and Foster’s happiness is fleeting. They are not happy to find out that they did not win the title.

Suave (v/o): The title can’t change hands on a DQ- unless it’s stipulated into the match. And in this case, it was not.

Martin finds himself cornered by an irate Morris and Foster.

Suave (v/o): I don’t think we’ve heard the last of this one. Tess and Haley are going to have to deal with the Deerhunters again. HOLY CRAP!

Outside the ring, Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow of the SEC stand over the MVW Tag Team champions who are now lying on the floor. Behind Stevens and Tebow are the Lingerie Girls Brandi and Wendi Bayless and the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ himself, Mr. McMann. McMann sports a bandage over his eye from the injury earlier in the night.


Stevens stomps at Tess and then pulls her up to standing position. Then Brandi hits a spin kick high; Wendi sweeps the legs out low, Tess lands hard face first on the mat.

Suave (v/o): TOTAL MAKEOVER!

Then Tebow drags Dallas up off the ground. Again, the Lingerie Girls strike. Brandi hits a spin kick high; Wendi sweeps the legs out low, and Dallas lands hard face first on the mat.

Suave (v/o): TOTAL MAKEOVER!

Dawn McGill (v/o): Would you stop saying that?

The Bayless twins pick up the tag belts and hold them up in the air. Then they toss them down and leave.

Suave (v/o): More action after these commercial messages.



A package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a supermarket checkout line.

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky presents Messing with McGill.

Dawn McGill is pushing a shopping cart towards the express register for 10 items and under. Her four year old daughter Eva is riding inside the cart. Just as she’s about to reach the cashier, some guy barges through with a full shopping cart and literally pushes the other customers out of his way. He bangs into Dawn’s cart and cuts in front of her.

Eva McGill: Ow, Mommy! That man ran into us!

Dawn McGill: It’s okay, dear.   I’m sure it was just an accident-

The guy then turns to Dawn and sneers.

Jerk Man: Hey, do you mind keeping your kid quiet. I’m in a hurry here.

Dawn begins to fume as the man turns back around and starts loading up the express lane with his groceries. Of course, the express lane register isn’t built for people with an overabundance of groceries so he quickly runs out of space to put his stuff.

The guy then turns on the poor girl running the register.

Jerk Man: Come on, let’s go! I don’t have all day.

Finally, Dawn taps the man on the back of his shoulder.

He whips around.

Jerk Man (nearly shouting): WHAT-oooooooooof…

Dawn knees him in the groin. Then she takes a side headlock and DDT’s the jerk on the hard grocery store floor.

The surrounding customers waiting in line break out in applause.

Final scene: a package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky superimposed over the man unconscious on the ground with blood coming out of his forehead.

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky. Feed your wild side.



A package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky is superimposed in the middle of a campground. There’s a truck with a camper in the bed parked in a forest area with plenty of trees.

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky presents Messing with McGill.

Three men sit around a campfire. The one on the left is crouched down on the ground munching on a piece of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky. The other two are drinking coffee from a mug.

There’s a rustling by an old barn where four trash cans are located. All four are overflowing over the top. All three look over and see Dawn McGill with an empty water bottle in her hand. She’s wearing shorts and a tank top as she’s out for a run.

Dawn McGill: Hey guys. Do you know if there’s any other trash receptacles nearby?

The crouching guy snacking on the beef jerky gets an idea. He reaches into his rucksack and pulls out one of those trick cans that sprays out plastic snakes when you open it up.

Guy #1: Hey guys.

He shows the can to the others.

Dawn McGill: Um. You do know that I can hear you, right?

The other two snicker at the idea. The man on the far right who’s wearing a plaid lumberjack jacket points to a rock in front of Dawn and the other guy ‘sneaks’ over there with the can.

Dawn McGill: Okay. You do know that I can see you sneaking up here.

The other two watch as the guy places the can on the rock, with Dawn observing him, and then ‘sneaks’ back to the campfire.

Dawn looks down at the can.

Dawn McGill: All right. I know what’s inside the can. I’m going to open it up. These plastic thingys are going to come flying out. And then I’m going to have to do something really bad to you guys.

The three campers simply stare at her.

Dawn sighs.

Dawn McGill: Okay…fine.

She opens the can. Two plastic snakes fly out and the campers begin to laugh. Dawn gives out a ‘look’ that said ‘seriously?’ She exhales, turns, and runs into the woods.

The three campers scurry towards their camper just as Dawn comes back out with a rather ominous looking weapon in hand.

Guy #2 (panicked shout): OH *BLEEP*, SHE’S GOT AN RPG!

Guy #3 (even more panicked): RUN!

As the campers veer off into the woods, Dawn smiles…aims…and fires the Rocket Propelled Grenade into the camper and blows it up.

Final scene: a package of Jack Link’s Original Beef Jerky superimposed over the burning truck and the debris field around it.

Announcer: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky. Feed your wild side.



Cut back to Suave and McGill at the broadcast desk.

Suave: All right. One last time to Paige McGillicutty in the back with the MVW Champion.

Cut to Paige McGillicutty backstage. MVW Champion “American Luchador with Insane Bad Breath” Lady Halitosis is next to her. She’s in her usual all-black luchador-ish getup. She’s also biting into a raw onion and holding on to a grocery bag

Paige McGillicutty: Lady Halitosis. Your opponent tonight is Kathryn Randall Collins. Can you talk a little about what you expect from her tonight?

Lady Halitosis: Kathryn Randall Collins-

Paige gently points Lady Halitosis’s face away from her so she doesn’t get the full blast of her insane bad breath.

Lady Halitosis: Oh, sorry. KRC is a wrestler who’s going to bring years of experience to the ring. She just recently split from the Green World Order. I know she came out earlier in the night but I didn’t hear what she said and I don’t care what she said.

Paige McGillicutty: Why not?

Lady Halitosis: It doesn’t matter, that’s why. I am the MVW champion. I’ve reigned as the MVW champion for over three months now despite the fact that no one gave me any chance of holding on to the title for any amount of time. But here I am. I’ve defeated all comers. I’m still the champion and even though I expect Kathryn Randall Collins to push me to the limit tonight, I will prevail and end 2015 as your Missouri Valley Wrestling champion.

Lady Halitosis chomps down on the raw onion and exits the scene.

Cut back to the broadcast desk.

Suave: Well? We’re going to find out real quick just how much Code Pink’s Glitter Bomb earlier in the night took out of Kathryn Randall Collins.

Dawn McGill: I know Kathryn and she’ll be even more determined to win.

Suave: Kimber Marshall is in the ring and we’re about ready to go.

Cut to the ring where Kimber is set to go.

Kimber Marshall: Our main event tonight is one fall for the Missouri Valley Wrestling Title. First, the challenger…

*“Money”- Kevin Armstrong (from the Money Never Sleeps Soundtrack) begins to play.*

Kimber Marshall: From Ft. Myers, Florida. She’s a former MVW Heartland and Television Champion. KATHRYN…RANDALL…COLLINS!

Kathryn Randall Collins appears on the stage. KRC looks a little unsteady but when she walks towards the ring she looks as determined as ever.

Suave (v/o): I don’t know Dawn. She’s still recovering from the effects of Code Pink’s Glitter Bomb earlier in the night.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Again, if anyone can overcome it, it’s Kathryn.

Kimber Marshall: And now, introducing the Missouri Valley Wrestling Champion.

Lady Halitosis appears on the stage biting into an onion and holding on to a grocery bag as ‘Bad Seed Rising’ by Bad Seed Rising begins to play over the sound system.

Kimber Marshall: From West Plains, Missouri. She is the American Luchador with Insane Bad Breath…LADY HALITOSIS!

Lady Halitosis starts down the aisle to the ring, slapping people’s hands and saying hello to everyone in the front row…who then all promptly collapse.

Suave (v/o): Just stay clear of her breath.

Well I’m your bad seed rising, ain’t no use denying
This girl ain’t a good girl no more
Bad seed rising, ain’t no use in crying
I still wear a halo, my Lord
Ain’t no use denying this girl ain’t a good girl no more
This girl ain’t a good girl no more (now listen here)

Lady Halitosis reaches the ring and goes around the front row, greeting everyone. Again, they all pass out after getting a whiff of her breath and soon, the scene looks like a set of dominos falling over as she goes around the perimeter. She then climbs into the ring holding up the MVW Title belt and walks towards Kimber Marshall.

Kimber holds her hand up to stop her and keep her away.

Referee Davey Keels gives the usual talk to both contestants and then waves for the bell.


MAIN EVENT/MISSOURI VALLEY WRESTLING TITLE MATCH: ‘American Luchador with Insane Bad Breath’ Lady Halitosis © vs. Kathryn Randall Collins

Suave (v/o): And here we go.

Lady Halitosis and KRC lock up in the middle of the ring. KRC with the hands locked and hits a belly to back suplex. She does a back roll, heel trip and slaps on a wristlock.

Suave (v/o): Collins off to a fast start.

KRC rolls over to get the head but Lady Halitosis ducks out. The champion takes KRC over and grabs her own wristlock. KRC sends her into the ropes and trips her up! KRC then comes off the ropes but Lady Halitosis catches her…atomic drop! Lady Halitosis into the ropes and off. KRC swings…the champion ducks and slides in between her legs. Takeover, schoolgirl cover.

Suave (v/o): She surprised KRC with that. One…NO…Collins kicks out.

Lady Halitosis goes to an armdrag. KRC up and takes the arm over. But Lady Halitosis reverses into a hammerlock. KRC reverses back, stands, and hits a snapmare. Lady Halitosis jumps on KRC’s shoulders- Collins deposits her facefirst on the mat!

Suave (v/o): An action packed start to this match.

Dawn McGill (v/o): KRC looking better. But yeah, quick start.

KRC locks Lady Halitosis’s arms and slams her down a second time.

Suave (v/o): KRC trying to keep the champion ground…INDIAN DEATHLOCK!

KRC sits in position as Lady Halitosis slams the mat with her hands.

Dawn McGill (v/o): She’s got it locked in tight, Johnny.

KRC makes a few adjustments and grabs Lady Halitosis’s arms, pulling them back.

Suave (v/o): SURFBOARD!

Dawn McGill (v/o): The champion’s in trouble Johnny. KRC is lethal when she is able to work submission holds on the mat.

KRC continues to tie up the arms and turns it into a straightjacket choke.

Suave (v/o): The crowd’s on their feet! Could this be the night…WAIT!

The green shirted members of the Green World Order race to the ring.


Collins drops the hold and steps back. The full complement of the GWO climbs into the ring and surround her. Code Pink, Peta from PETA, Soccer Mom, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and New Age Sensitive Guy.

PeaceNic is also on hand but she protests the violence and brutality of pro wrestling from the outside of the ring.

Referee Davey Keels directs the GWO out of the ring. But they ignore him. Lee and GreenPete eject Keels from the ring. Keels then calls for the bell and throws out the match.

Suave (v/o): Match thrown out.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Two versus six Johnny. Don’t like those odds.

Lady Halitosis also manages to stand and realizes she’s also surrounded by the GWO.

Suave (v/o): Now what?

Lady Halitosis turns to KRC and breaths on her.

Suave (v/o): HOLY CRAP!

Dawn McGill (v/o): Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.

KRC’s legs buckle after taking the full effect of Lady Halitosis’s insane bad breath. Lady Halitosis then pulls KRC’s face closer to her and she unloads again. She releases Collins and she wilts, falling to the mat.

The crowd boos. Code Pink, Peta from PETA, and Soccer Mom start stomping away at Collins.

Suave (v/o): So just when you think you can write off the Green World Order, they somehow manage to get the MVW champion on their side.

Dawn McGill (v/o): It’s pro wrestling Johnny. Nothing surprises me anymore.

There’s a commotion in the back.

Suave (v/o): Are you sure about that?

‘Sport Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann again comes to the ring, accompanied by the Sports Entertainment Consortium- ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan and the Lingerie Girls Brandi and Wendi Bayless in addition to the hired muscle Bo Stevens and Timothy Allen Tebow.

Dawn McGill (v/o): This night just keeps getting better and better.

Carrigan comes up to PeaceNic outside the ring. PeaceNic shouts peaceful mantras at Carrigan. Carrigan kicks her in the stomach and then hits the Canadian Destroyer on her- on the floor. Then with Lee and GreenPete yelling at her from inside the ring, Carrigan grabs both men’s leg and yanks them off their feet and out of the ring. Carrigan plants a big boot into GreenPete’s balls, causing him to roll up into a little ball of misery. She pulls Lee from the floor. Kick to the stomach. Canadian Destroyer. Carrigan forces Lee to his feet. Kick to the stomach. Canadian Destroyer.

Suave (v/o): Sheline’s tearing through the GWO.

Dawn McGill (v/o): Not all of them, Johnny.

MVW Champion Lady Halitosis slips out the back of the ring and jumps the barricade to escape through the crowd.

Stevens and Tebow clear the ring of the remaining members of the GWO and roll KRC’s carcass out of the ring. Then Mr. McMann climbs in and he’s got the silver briefcase.

Mr. McMann: It’s time. Romanov. Briscoe. Suave. Get your ass down to the ring and let’s get this over with.

Suave (v/o): I hope you’ve got a plan Dawn. Otherwise, it’s been nice working with you.

The owners of Missouri Valley Wrestling, Corrina Romanov, Kevin G. Briscoe, and Johnny Suave meet outside the ring and then each climb in one by one.

Mr. McMann: All right. The time has come for you to do the right thing.

Stevens hands Briscoe the contract signing over Missouri Valley Wrestling to McMann.

Mr. McMann: Either you three sign this deal now. Or I’m pulling it off the table and Missouri Valley Wrestling is finished. What’s it going to be?

The video screen comes to life. It’s Jill Berg sitting in the back of her limousine.

Jill Berg: Why hello there. Did I miss anything?

Mr. McMann: No. You’re just in time to witness history when I become the new owner of MVW.

Jill Berg: Oh, I see. Well, you’re half right. Yes, we are witnessing history here tonight. But I am the one who is making history- not you.

McMann’s smug grin disappears.

Mr. McMann: What do you mean?

Jill Berg: I can report to you that the owners of Missouri Valley Wrestling have agreed to a deal to sign over the company…




Jill Berg: …to me.

McMann’s jaw drops.

Romanov, Briscoe, and Suave shake hands with each other and exit the ring.

Jill Berg: Tonight, I wrestled my final match as an active wrestler. However, I really don’t want to give it all up. I still want to be actively involved in MVW as the CEO of Jill Berg Enterprises. So, this is what I’m going to do. With my money, MVW was purchased by a trust called the Missouri Valley Wrestling Supporter’s Trust. So technically, I do not own Missouri Valley Wrestling- the MVWST does. Here’s the neat thing. You can buy into the trust for as little as $25 a year and that will make you a part-owner of the company. So, if you like MVW and want to support grass roots pro wrestling and keep it alive and vibrant, you now have the opportunity to do so. Thank you all and good night.

Dawn McGill (v/o): And there you have it. Mr. McMann does not own MVW.

Close up on Mr. McMann in the ring. Stunned. Silent. The briefcase falls out of his hand.

Dawn McGill (v/o): And that’s what I call a happy ending. I’m Dawn McGill for Johnny Suave. Good night everyone.


About Art Nouveaux

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