[PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports from the lobby of the Joseph J. Gentile Arena in Chicago, Illinois.]
Woodward Bernstein: With five days remaining before Political Championship Wrestling’s 10th Anniversary/Reunion/Finale show, PCW Owner Dawn McGill held a press conference earlier today to finalize Sunday night’s card.
[CUT TO: Earlier in the day…Dawn McGill is seated behind a table. She speaks into a microphone.]
Dawn McGill: …I confirmed with Yamamoto Tanaka’s representative last night that everything is a go for him to fly in Sunday for the show so, hell yes, I’m pleased with how the card turned out. We’re looking forward to a great show Sunday night.
Female Voice Off Screen: Hold on Dawn.
Woodward Bernstein (voice over): The first surprise of the press conference arrived.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.
[Jill Berg strides out.]
Woodward Bernstein (v/o): That’s right former Missouri Valley Wrestling champion, CEO of Jill Berg Enterprises, and Corporate Predator Extraordinaire, Jill Berg came out and confronted McGill about being left off the PCW Reunion Show card.
[Jill addresses McGill.]
Jill Berg: …I was the only UNDEFEATED PCW champion ever. I deserve to be in the champions match Dawn and you know it.
Dawn McGill: No.
Jill Berg: What if I sweetened the deal?
[Dawn crosses her arms defensively.]
Dawn McGill: You got one over on me earlier this year Jill. I’m not going to do it again.
Jill Berg: I’m serious Dawn. What if I brought out…
Woodward Bernstein (v/o): Berg then brought out surprise number two of the press conference.
[Presumptive Republican front runner Donald Trump appears with his entourage and causes McGill to do a doubletake. Berg grins as Trump strides to the podium.]
Jill Berg: That’s right. I give you Donald Trump.
[Trump goes up to McGill.]
Donald Trump: I am here today to announce that I am personally bankrolling a SPECIAL ATTRACTION MAIN EVENT MATCH to take place following the PCW Champion’s Match. My paper please?
[One of Trump’s lackeys rushes over and hands him a piece of paper. Trump squints to read it.]
Donald Trump: Okay. I don’t know who typed this and why they used this font…but they’re fired!
[The unlucky lackey hangs his head, turns, and walks out.]
Donald Trump: Now, back to business. I, Donald Trump, the Greatest Leader Ever which is why I’m running for President, will prove that I’m the Greatest Leader Ever by bringing in Scott Stevens from High Octane Wrestling and WrestleUTA for a Special Attraction Match against [Trump leans over to Berg] Kevin Costner?
[Berg shakes her head no.]
Jill Berg: Tin Cup Ray McAvay.
Donald Trump: Right. Against the Tin Cup guy who’s not really Kevin Costner.
[McGill looks intrigued.]
Jill Berg: Well Dawn? What do you think?
Dawn McGill: I’ll accept Mr. Trump’s offer but you’re still not wrestling Sunday night.
Donald Trump: Deal!
Jill Berg: What?
[Trump hastily shakes Dawn’s hand.]
Donald Trump (to Jill): It’s the ‘art of the deal.’ Sometimes, you just take what you can.
[CUT BACK TO: Woodward Bernstein in the lobby.]
Woodward Bernstein: Dawn McGill went on to tell Jill Berg that if the CEO of JBE tries to get into the ring at this Sunday night’s show, she will personally drag her out of the ring herself. Which given the fact that McGill is in her third month of pregnancy, might not be the best course of action for her to take. But to reinterate. The PCW Reunion Show is set and Scott Stevens will headline a Special Attraction Main Event match to close the show.
PCW End of the World
Political Championship Wrestling’s 10th Anniversary/Reunion/Final Show
Sunday September 6th, 2015
Opening Match/PCW Mid-Card Heroes
Halitosis/‘King of Old School’ Baron Von Munchke with Dr. Bill vs. SNAFU/FUBAR w/Movie Classic
(Taped) Classic Match from August 2009’s WWR Supershow:
Dawn McGill vs. Michael Best
‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann
(Taped) Classic Match- WWE Invasion of Sorts:
Linda McMahon (R) vs. Richard Blumenthal (D)- PCW Extreme Election Night 2008
Tornado Tag Elimination Match/PCW’s Most Memorable Tag Teams:
Flying Martini Brothers (Drunken Luchador’s Dave and Dan Martini) vs. Midnight Rockin’ Express (Bobby Michaels and Marty Lane) vs. DWI (Al Cahall/Nic Koteen w/General DeBauchery) vs. The American Bikers (Big Paulie/Little Paulie)
(Taped) Classic Three Way Tag Match from PCW Extreme Election Night 2008:
Fox News (Bill O’Reilly/Ann Coulter) vs. MSNBC (Keith Olbermann/Rachel Maddow) vs. CNN (Lou Dobbs/Campbell Brown)
Three Way Tag Dance/PCW Factions:
Les Miserables (Charlie Blackwell/William Daniels Bryan) vs. Big Business (Big Oil/’The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Mancrush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit) vs. Labor Alliance (Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker)
(Taped) Classic PCW Title Match from PCW Extreme Election Night 2008:
O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (D) vs. Starz N. Stripes (R) w/John McCain
MAIN EVENT/Champions Elimination Match:
Yamamoto Tanaka vs. ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism w/the Original SRB (Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido vs. ‘Not Just Unbearable…Not Just Intolerable…He is…’ Justin Sufferable.
SPECIAL MAIN EVENT
Scott Stevens vs. ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay